Disclaimer: Rai disowns any rights to CCS. Characters mentioned below were used without permission. She dislikes receiving notices about lawsuits, so don't even try.
Rai: Pardon for the long delay. I encountered so many mishaps that I somehow feel this fic must be jinxed. But it's here for the taking. The whole chapter is written in Syaoran's point of view. This fic is AU so OOC should be expected. Here he is a son who worships his mother. Quite different from what we perceive of him as a son afraid of his mother (re: CCS first movie). I kinda like the idea… And also, since this chapter is longer than what I usually write, I decided to divide it into two parts. The next part will be posted when I finish editing. I'm still tired from frying my brain, so I apologize for any errors on this script. I'm not perfect. I wasn't meant to be, so please be lenient.
Warning: Succeeding chapter contains violence and profanity not suitable for minors. Please be a responsible reader.
Rai: Okay, let's get morbid…
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The Assignment
IV: Retrospection I: Sunset
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Shaded by the late afternoon sun, I watched the room being enveloped in the color of sunset. A glowing red-orange light. Similar to the one that blanketed my home's par lour in that afternoon. That fateful day when I last heard Okaasan's voice.
I can still hear her calling my name. The soft voice of an empowered woman in the prime of her life. Her voice in my mind is the only remnant of the past that I hold onto. Everything else I let go. But my mother's voice is my comforting haunt.
Born to one of the most powerful and influential clans that existed in Hong Kong, I lived a life of privilege. Not only was I a member of the Clan Li, I was the heir apparent. The future Clan Leader. The memories are blurred now. But sometimes, when I listen hard to the voice I treasure in my mind, everything comes back to me in precise clarity. So clear that I can almost smell my Okaasan's perfume, a scent distinctly hers that there has been no other woman I know who smells the same. Then I'd feel the warmth emitting from the hearth in our par lour. And slowly, everything that died becomes alive in my mind. My sisters would be guffawing at some little pest they took home. The maids would be serving tea. My mother would sip the warm liquid, delicately enfolding the teacup's handle within her soft fingers. Wei, the butler, would deliver the day's news. Members of the Clan Li would be scattered around the estate. So many of them that I couldn't even put the names to the faces. It would be eight years ago. I was ten. The little wolf that my name defined. Young and untamed. Strong but still innocent.
My life then was splendid, to say the least. But as I have come to understand, nothing good lasts long enough in this lifetime.
Granted that our Clan was influential, we had our share of enemies. Many of them overcome by their own greed and an insatiable lust for power, which we had. Remembering them only infuriate me so that I crave for the sight of their blood streaming down a paved street into the gutter. Small satisfaction for my pursuit for revenge.
The memories are beginning to collect again. We were in the par lour. My mother was sipping her tea, as always, and watching me as I performed my katana drills. Wei was instructing me the proper movements from the sidelines. This was what we did everyday before dinner. Evaluate my training.
Light was slowly filtering itself to darkness. The bright red-orange glow seeping through the windows and scattering light in the room. I remember being reminded of a burning shack by the striking color. I couldn't have known it then, but it must have been a presage of the events to come. I dismissed the thought, although the way the light glistened the sharp edges of my katana fascinated me.
Just as I was finishing my exercise, I heard a shrill scream erupt from somewhere within the manor. A scream that up to now, when I remember it, terrified me. For it always brings back that night, and the haunted nights after that where my nightmares would always begin with that scream. I stopped midway into my exercise as a maid rushed into the par lour without knocking, breathless.
"Shu Lei," my mother stood upon recognizing the woman, "what's the matter?"
"Mistress," she was catching her breath and her eyes spoke volumes of unspoken fear, "an ambush…"
"Ambush?" my mother repeated, trying to calm the frantic servant.
"The window…" she waved her hands wildly towards the large framed glass.
Distinctly, I heard something erupt that broke glass into a million shards.
My mother turned to look at the window and her expression turned from confusion to bewilderment. I slowly turned my head towards the direction of her vision, and when I did, instant regret overtook me. For what I saw framed by the glass window was not a picturesque sunset but something that will haunt me for the rest of my living days.
Confusion must have deafened me because I did not get to hear the gunshots that littered the estate. Men, seemingly hundreds of them, in stocking masks, were opening fire in our lawn killing every Clan member in sight. Not even sparing the servants. One of them walked towards an uncle lying in a pool of his own blood. I felt like I could almost hear him snigger behind his mask as he watched my kin slowly filter himself to the arms of death. He aimed his gun at the helpless man and pulled the trigger twice more.
Screams of anguish filtered the once peaceful silence of the grounds. I heard more gunshots being fired and more breaking glass. Every window I turned to showed more murder than the last. Blood was staining almost every soil. And more men in stocking masks with guns killing my family mercilessly. And my young mind was frozen in shock.
"They have surrounded the estate, Mistress," Shu Lei cried, "and they're looking for Xiaolang-sama. You must escape now." The note of plea was resonant in her voice.
Black smoke rose to the sky from the east wing of the manor. These men were burning the estate.
My mother grabbed me by the arm and half-dragged me towards the bookcase. She pulled out a book before enveloping me in her arms, "Whatever happens, Xiaolang, you must live," she breathed deeply on my hair, "Live for the Clan."
I hadn't noticed the passage that opened behind the bookcase. She kissed me on the forehead before she pushed me into the entry.
"This passage exits to the harbor," I saw a small tear run down her cheek before she closed the opening, "Go," she commanded, "Live."
I tried to reach for her but the bookcase closed between us. I heard Shu Lei scream behind it and more gunshots being fired. Only this time, they were nearer.
"Where is the heir apparent?" an unfamiliar brusque voice asked demandingly.
"He is not here."
Okaasan. She wants to save me. But I wanted to save her.
"You bitch should know better than to lie."
A resounding slap and a thud on the marbled floor. I gritted my teeth. If I only knew how to come out of the passage to kill that bastard. Every vein in my body pulsed with throbbing rage.
"Best tell where your son is, woman," the voice continued, "before I decide to really hurt you."
I sought for a lever on the wall that separated me from the par lour rasping savagely to the unknown miscreant who dared disrespect my mother. But there wasn't any. I later found out that the passage was a one-way entry. My attempts were all in vain.
"I would rather die than give my son to you."
I stopped groping when I heard this.
"Then die it is."
A gunshot.
"Okaasan."
Another gunshot.
"Iie."
And another gunshot.
I stared wildly at the wall almost seeing my mother through it, lying on the marble, bleeding to her death. And here I was, on the other side, helpless.
'Go.'
My mother's voice came back to me.
'Live.'
My mother was dead.
'Live for the Clan.'
The Clan was dead.
'Whatever happens Xiaolang, you must live.'
I could almost smell the scent of burning wood from the other side of the bookcase. Wiping the tears that fell inadvertently from my eyes, I stared gravely at the wall that separated me from my family. The wall that saved me. God damned wall.
"I will avenge you," I turned and walked in trance towards the exit. It was on that moment that my innocence left me.
-
I exited to the harbor as my mother had said. The sky still glowed with the same color. I turned towards the direction I came from. And there, where the Li Estate should have been was a billowing bonfire. The manor nothing more than ruins and ashes. Everything I loved and adored burned with the sky.
-
I wandered the days after that. No one knew I continued to live. No one reportedly survived the ambush. And no one knew whom to blame. All of our enemies expressed their phony grief through the media. But jus as soon as they expressed their grief, they all went scampering to bid for the estate's remains. Scavengers.
No one knew I survived. Everyone believed I died with the rest of my family. If not with a gunshot, through the fire. No one was held accountable. The massacre of The Clan remained a mystery since.
From having a Clan, I became an orphan. With no family and no home. The Clan was my life. Without them, I was lost.
-
I found a job as busboy in a small eatery by the harbor. It was owned by an old couple who couldn't afford to pay a busboy with the minimum wage. I offered to work at half the price and they accepted on the condition that I do not tell the police I was a laborer. I had no intention to.
During the first nights, I slept on the harbor. But the old couple must have known that I do not have an acceptable living place because they offered to let me sleep in the eatery when it closes a few days after I was employed. I never appreciated the value of a roof over my head before then. And I will never forget the nights I spent sleeping in the cold harbor with nothing but the crisp air to blanket me.
I was still plotting my revenge. And nothing fed my hunger more than the memory of my mother's voice. But I wasn't getting anywhere with my job as a busboy. I sought to continue my training. Unfortunately, with the state I was in, no one would take me in to train. I hardly have enough money to provide for myself, much more to train. I have obviously lost everything. The power, the influence, the respect, the estate, The Clan…
I considered revealing my identity when I got desperate. But I knew it would only hinder my plans. I was next to being hopeless when I met the one who would forever change my life.
Everyone calls him Akira-sensei. A Japanese dignitary and highly distinguished in Hong Kong. He used to be a professor in Japan. I have heard of him even before the massacre, but I have never met him.
One morning at the eatery, while bussing tables, a group of men came in. most of them wearing suits and carried themselves in a dignified manner. This wasn't the usual crowd the eatery services, but customer was customer as long as they were paying.
Short-handed as we were, I sometimes not only bus tables but serve as a waiter as well. I considered this an act of gratitude for the kindly couple. At that moment, tere wasn't anyone else who could take their orders so I took the notepad and pencil from the counter and went towards the table of men.
"May I take your order, sirs?"
"A pot of tea," a young man in a gray suit answered amidst the banter.
"Anything else?"
That was when the sensei turned his gaze towards me. for a split-second, I thought I saw his eyes flicker with the glint of recognition. But then, the next moment it was gone.
He smiled at me, "And a plate of dumplings, please."
I bowed at them and handed out their order to the elderly woman. As I walked, I could feel the sensei's gaze following me. Mindful of my every step. I became aware of the sensei's presence. And as I cleaned tables, I found myself being enamored by the men's conversation. There wasn't much to it, actually. A common male bonding session. But what fascinated me was the sensei's seemingly lack of response. At side glances, I could see him smiling or nodding every now and then. But not once did I hear him speak his mind.
Finally, they took their leave. The men stood up and left a sum of bills on the table. When they went out, I started to clean their table for customers yet to come. As I stacked the teacups on the tray, I noticed a small parcel on one of the seats. The seat was supposedly the sensei's. And given this, I figured it might be his. Thinking that they hadn't gone off far yet, I picked up the package and went after the men.
Just as I opened the door hurrying, I saw the sensei walking back towards the eatery. He must have seen me with the package because he stopped short. Not wanting him to get the wrong idea, I went up to him and handed him what he left, explaining that I intended to come after his group.
He smiled at me, "Few men possess the virtue of honesty."
I took this as a sign of gratitude so I bowed and was about to return to the eatery when he continued to speak.
"You seem to have been taught well for practicing it," he added, "your parents must be proud of you."
I couldn't resist letting out a snort.
He creased his forehead, his face asking the question his mouth never spoke.
"I'll never know of it."
"Aren't your parents the couple who owns the eatery?"
My face must have contorted such a violent reaction.
"I suppose they're too old, but what parent would allow their child to labor without their guidance?"
"Not my mother." I answered, quite vehemently.
"I'm sorry if I offended you. I suppose your mother must have a good reason to allow you-"
"My mother's dead." I cut him off flatly.
His eyes took a sad note to it, "I'm sorry." Strange how his eyes could look sorrowfully at me without hinting even a glimmer of pity. As if he truly felt sad about my loss. I realized then that it was the first act of condolence extended to me ever since the massacre.
"To loss a mother at such a young age. You couldn't be older than twelve."
"Ten."
I began to turn to leave, but his words stopped me again.
"Are your guardians suitable?"
I shrugged at this. I had no guardian. The elderly couple was just my employer.
"The elderly couple is treating you well?"
I looked at him pointedly, "They've been kinder than most people."
He sighed slightly before he reached into his coat. He withdrew from this a small card and handed it to me saying, "I have to attend business for the rest of the day, but I wish to be able to speak to you again. I hope you can contact me some time."
I stared at the card. A simple cream card that read: 'Kagero Akira, Japanese Embassy.' And address situated midtown and a phone number. I looked up to question the sensei, but he had walked some distance off already, carrying his package. I thought of running after him, but decided against it. Besides, I still had work to do.
I walked back to the eatery debating whether to call the sensei or not. I eventually would. Little did I know then that the simple exchange I had with the sensei would forever change my life. For it was that meeting that would initiate a series of events that would make me the man that I am today – an assassin.
-to be continued-
Rai: I just need to edit retrospection ii. I'm not going to say what the second part's title is. You might get ideas. Best to keep it a secret. I do hope you people will review even though I haven't offered any update for two months. [eep] By the way, Toasting Marshmallows is a Christmas fic you might want to check out to revive your holiday spirit.