Chapter 14: THEY'RE WHAT?!
Well after the X-Men had suited up they boarded the X-Jet with Toad and Mystique. Needless to say tensions were high, but one thing was certain, with the combined forces of Xavier and Magneto those kids were in for the lecture of their lives!
The flight took only about an hour and a half before they touched down in small clearing about a mile from the campus. Now came the hard part: finding their lost little mutants in that sea of people.
They got off the plane and started walking. It wasn't long before they could here the music blasting from just over the next ridge.
Nothing could have prepared them for the sight that greeted them upon reaching the summit: a living multi colored sea of highly inebriated bodies attempting to move to the rhythm of a song whose lyrics were better suited to have been printed on toilet paper.
"This is gonna take forever," groaned Toad.
"Not if ve split up," suggested Kurt.
"Ah, divide and conquer," said Hank in a somewhat reminiscent tone of Caesar's rule over Ancient Rome.
"Here," said Scott handing out a bunch of walkie-talkies.
"Lets try to keep this short," said Mystique as she morphed into an attractive looked co-ed.
"Fer once we agree on somethin'" said Wolverine.
"Don't count on it happening again," said Mystique curtly.
"O-kay," said Scott in an attempt to smooth thing over before they got too far out of hand, "Lets trisect the campus. Kurt and Mystique take the mosh pit down there, Beast and Toad scout around the rest of the campus outside, Wolverine and myself will take the dorms."
"Whoa-how come you two get the dorms?!" asked Toad in an accusing tone.
"Because we'll actually look for the kids rather than pose as a lost pizza man and make a bad attempt a booty call." said Scott accusing tone.
"Touché" said Mystique looking toward Toad.
"For your information I would have broken into a locker room and posed as a hockey player!-Since when have you heard of a pizza man getting any?!" Toad asked and then looked at Wolverine, "I thought you were working with one-eye!"
Logan shrugged, "Slow learner."
"HEY!" yelled Scott in retort.
"Sometime before dawn if you please, people," Hank nudged.
-------------
~The Mosh Pit~
"C'mon," said Mystique with distain as she started toward the 'Sea of Raging Hormones'.
"I don't zink zo," said Kurt hesitantly.
"What- don't trust me?" Mystique smirked.
"Vell, no-but I mean I con't go down zere like zis!" said Kurt putting up two fuzzy, 3-fingered hands.
"Here," said Mystique extending her arm, "as long as you hold onto me you'll appear human."
"I don't like zis," said Kurt as her slowly reached for the shape sifter's arm.
"What other choice do you have?" asked Mystique.
"I don't know." said Kurt heaving a heavy sigh as he took a light grasp of her arm.
"There, that wasn't so hard, now was it?" said Mystique with what seemed to be a twinkle in her eye.
Kurt visibly shuddered-
Mystique's last statement seemed nothing short of maternal, which was contrary to the behavior Kurt had seen her use thus far-
It was nothing short of disturbing.
Although against his better judgment, Kurt tightened his grip on Mystique's hand, letting her lead the way down into the masses of drunken co-eds.
(AN: This strange and awkward moment brought to you on the grounds that Mystique is Kurt's mother).
-------------
On the other side of the campus, just outside of the chemistry building, Hank and Toad continued the seemingly never ending search.
Hank was sitting on the cement steps as Toad bounded out from the surrounding shrubbery.
"Find anything intriguing?" asked Hank nonchalantly.
"Ya, everybody's gettin' some, but me!" vented Toad, "There must be five couples 'doing it' behind the science center. And I'm pretty sure one of those couples was a pair of professors-the lab coats were the tip off!"
"I meant, did you find any evidence of John, Bobby or Rogue passing through?" asked Hank somewhat amused at Toad's apparent feelings toward the science community.
"What?!-Oh, no, I didn't find anything," said Toad beginning to calm himself.
"Shall we be moving on then?" inquired Hank.
"I don't see why not," said Toad exhaling the remainder of his frustrations.
"Where to next?" asked Beast standing up.
"Anywhere, but one of the science buildings," said Toad sternly as he started to walk off in a random direction.
-------------
Out of the three teams it is safe to say Scott and Logan were having the worst luck of all:
Wolverine stood in the middle of a girls' dorm hall, the third floor to be exact, leaning up against a wall between the doors numbered 351 and 353, smoking a cigar. He had been confined to the hall by Cyke himself, who claimed, "Logan you're a little too intimidating, why not let me handle this one?"
Scott's voice could be heard from inside room 351, "Miss, I'm just looking for some information!"
"Oh, is that so, Mr. X-Man?" a very inebriated young woman's voice could be heard from inside the room as well, "I'm sure I can be of some 'assistance'."
"Um, yes, well have you seen any of these kids tonight?"
Wolverine could hear Scott pulling out a photo.
SLAM!
Something heavy was rammed into the door.
"Kids, I don't see any kids here-just adults- that's you-and me."
"Miss, I'm going to have to ask you to release my collar," Scott was barely able to get out.
"Or what?" the co-ed giggled.
ZZZZIIIiiiiiiippppppp
"I BEG YOUR PARDON!" exclaimed Scott, "I'll thank you to leave my pants alone!"
"Oh, your welcome," the girl slurred.
"I wasn't thanking you!" insisted Scott.
"Oh, wait let me get Fluffy." The girl's voice could be heard.
"Fluffy?-Who's-" Scott wasn't able to finish his sentence before.
RRRRRRROOOOOOWWWWWRRRRRRR!
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" shrieked Scott as he narrowly made it out the door and back into the hall to the safety of the Wolverine (I don't know it I would call that safe, just a thought).
Logan shot Scott a look as if he were going to say something-
"I don't want to talk about it, not now, not ever!" said Scott in a trembling voice.
"Whoa, easy Cyke, I was just going to tell you your barn door's open.
"What?!" Scott looked down, "-Damn it!"
He turned towards the wall-Ziiiiiiip
"I wonder if the dorm parent knows she has a pet, let alone the Board of Health," Cyke mutter to himself as he started down the hall again.
Wolverine chuckled under his breath and asked as he exhaled a puff of smoke, "Want me to take the next one?"
"Would you?" asked Scott in nothing short of a whimper.
Ya, that's pretty much how Scott's night had been since he knocked on the first door, the beginning of Thanksgiving break (all be it short as it is) be damned!
-------------
Meanwhile, back at the ranch:
Charles and Eric were heavily engaged in a lightening round of chess. They had been playing for two hours and so far it could have been anyone's game. Naturally the best defense in a good offence, to steel an old cliché, or in this case a good distraction-
"So," Magneto began casually, "how long do you think it will take them to find Pyro, Rogue and Iceman?"
"You mean after they finish bickering?" inquired Charles as he captured one of Magneto's pawns with his knight.
"And not a second before," Magneto smirked as he took one of Charles' pawns with his rook.
"I think we will be receiving a call that they've gone out to breakfast sometime before first period that they've gone out for breakfast." said Charles as moved one of his pawns.
-------------
Wolverine and Scott had all but given up as they walked down the back stair and out the door of the 5th dorm they had searched. They had found nothing, everyone was either unconscious, to drunk to focus on the photo or "otherwise engaged".
"What are we going to do, Logan? We've been searching for hours-it's nearly dawn-and no one has found any sign of them!" exclaimed Scott in utter despair.
"Easy, Scooter, we'll find them. I mean how far can they go loaded?"
"Not helping, Logan."
SLAM!
The door fell into place behind them just in time for them to hear-
"C'mon, giahs, we gotta get back before they know we skipped town," Marie half slurred.
Both Scott and Logan looked toward the direction of Marie's voice.
"And how do you propose we do that, Rogue?" asked Bobby, "We didn't bring a car and I know I don't have enough for a cab!"
"Hey, guys," said Pyro, who was sitting on the ground.
"Uhg, what is it now, John?" asked a very disgusted Marie.
"I forgot how to stand up-"
There was a pause-
Then all three burst out laughing.
Scott pulled out his walkie-talkie and flipped to channel 3, "All units converge, all units converge, we found them behind the 4th dorm from the mosh pit."
In the mean time Logan had walked over to the tanked trio.
"LOGAN!" squealed Marie as she jumped on him nearly taking the both of them out.
"Who there, kid, I think you need a tick-tack or sumthin'-damn!" said Wolverine as she attempted to stabilize her.
Polp!
Bobby had wondered off the stone patio behind the dorm where the others stood as his knees went weak and he fell into the snow.
"Bobby, are you alright?" asked Scott as he put the walkie-talkie back onto his utility belt.
Pyro looked up at the sound of Scott's voice, "Shit, the party's over guys, the fun police just arrived."
"I resent that!" yelled Scott more than a little offended.
"He's got a point," said Toad as he bounded out from behind a bush with Beast at his heels.
"I agree," said Mystique as she and Kurt walked onto the porch from the woods.
"Hey, Nightcrawler, dude, thanks for helping us put that car in one-eye's room," said Pyro.
"You did that?!" Scott glared at Kurt.
"I svear I can explain, Herr Scott-" Nightcrawler began.
"Hey, where are Storm and Sabertooth?" Bobby cut in.
"Back at the Institute and no one is going to say anything to them about this little 'excursion'," said Mystique in a deadly tone.
Marie looked up at Logan, "Are we in huge trouble?"
"No kid, you're in fuckin' huge trouble." said Wolverine.
-------------
BAMF!
They figured the fasted way to get back to the X-Jet was for Kurt to port them there.
"Logan, would ya let go a meh already?! It's not liahke Ah'm gonna run off!" insisted Marie.
"You can barely stand. Yer drunk off yer ass!" Logan pointed out.
"WELL AH NEVAH!" gasped Marie, "Ah am certainly not drunk!"
She nearly toppled over!
"Oh, yer drunk alright!" declared Logan as he scooped her up and began to walk towards the jet.
"Oh riaght," began Marie sarcastically, "Ah'm drunk and Storm and Sabertooth aren't married!"
Now Rogue had everyone's undivided attention-
"Holy shit-they're married-and you didn't tell ME?!" exclaimed Py.
"Well of course Ah didn't tell you, dumb ass, or all the adults would have known!" shouted Rogue.
"Uh, Rogue, you just pretty much told 'all the adults'," Bobby pointed out.
"Shit, Ah did?" Marie started to laugh uncontrollably.
"HA!" yelled Py, "Now who's the 'dumb ass'?"
All three of the teens were laughing again-
The adults, on the other hand were exchanging shocked glances.
Well after the X-Men had suited up they boarded the X-Jet with Toad and Mystique. Needless to say tensions were high, but one thing was certain, with the combined forces of Xavier and Magneto those kids were in for the lecture of their lives!
The flight took only about an hour and a half before they touched down in small clearing about a mile from the campus. Now came the hard part: finding their lost little mutants in that sea of people.
They got off the plane and started walking. It wasn't long before they could here the music blasting from just over the next ridge.
Nothing could have prepared them for the sight that greeted them upon reaching the summit: a living multi colored sea of highly inebriated bodies attempting to move to the rhythm of a song whose lyrics were better suited to have been printed on toilet paper.
"This is gonna take forever," groaned Toad.
"Not if ve split up," suggested Kurt.
"Ah, divide and conquer," said Hank in a somewhat reminiscent tone of Caesar's rule over Ancient Rome.
"Here," said Scott handing out a bunch of walkie-talkies.
"Lets try to keep this short," said Mystique as she morphed into an attractive looked co-ed.
"Fer once we agree on somethin'" said Wolverine.
"Don't count on it happening again," said Mystique curtly.
"O-kay," said Scott in an attempt to smooth thing over before they got too far out of hand, "Lets trisect the campus. Kurt and Mystique take the mosh pit down there, Beast and Toad scout around the rest of the campus outside, Wolverine and myself will take the dorms."
"Whoa-how come you two get the dorms?!" asked Toad in an accusing tone.
"Because we'll actually look for the kids rather than pose as a lost pizza man and make a bad attempt a booty call." said Scott accusing tone.
"Touché" said Mystique looking toward Toad.
"For your information I would have broken into a locker room and posed as a hockey player!-Since when have you heard of a pizza man getting any?!" Toad asked and then looked at Wolverine, "I thought you were working with one-eye!"
Logan shrugged, "Slow learner."
"HEY!" yelled Scott in retort.
"Sometime before dawn if you please, people," Hank nudged.
-------------
~The Mosh Pit~
"C'mon," said Mystique with distain as she started toward the 'Sea of Raging Hormones'.
"I don't zink zo," said Kurt hesitantly.
"What- don't trust me?" Mystique smirked.
"Vell, no-but I mean I con't go down zere like zis!" said Kurt putting up two fuzzy, 3-fingered hands.
"Here," said Mystique extending her arm, "as long as you hold onto me you'll appear human."
"I don't like zis," said Kurt as her slowly reached for the shape sifter's arm.
"What other choice do you have?" asked Mystique.
"I don't know." said Kurt heaving a heavy sigh as he took a light grasp of her arm.
"There, that wasn't so hard, now was it?" said Mystique with what seemed to be a twinkle in her eye.
Kurt visibly shuddered-
Mystique's last statement seemed nothing short of maternal, which was contrary to the behavior Kurt had seen her use thus far-
It was nothing short of disturbing.
Although against his better judgment, Kurt tightened his grip on Mystique's hand, letting her lead the way down into the masses of drunken co-eds.
(AN: This strange and awkward moment brought to you on the grounds that Mystique is Kurt's mother).
-------------
On the other side of the campus, just outside of the chemistry building, Hank and Toad continued the seemingly never ending search.
Hank was sitting on the cement steps as Toad bounded out from the surrounding shrubbery.
"Find anything intriguing?" asked Hank nonchalantly.
"Ya, everybody's gettin' some, but me!" vented Toad, "There must be five couples 'doing it' behind the science center. And I'm pretty sure one of those couples was a pair of professors-the lab coats were the tip off!"
"I meant, did you find any evidence of John, Bobby or Rogue passing through?" asked Hank somewhat amused at Toad's apparent feelings toward the science community.
"What?!-Oh, no, I didn't find anything," said Toad beginning to calm himself.
"Shall we be moving on then?" inquired Hank.
"I don't see why not," said Toad exhaling the remainder of his frustrations.
"Where to next?" asked Beast standing up.
"Anywhere, but one of the science buildings," said Toad sternly as he started to walk off in a random direction.
-------------
Out of the three teams it is safe to say Scott and Logan were having the worst luck of all:
Wolverine stood in the middle of a girls' dorm hall, the third floor to be exact, leaning up against a wall between the doors numbered 351 and 353, smoking a cigar. He had been confined to the hall by Cyke himself, who claimed, "Logan you're a little too intimidating, why not let me handle this one?"
Scott's voice could be heard from inside room 351, "Miss, I'm just looking for some information!"
"Oh, is that so, Mr. X-Man?" a very inebriated young woman's voice could be heard from inside the room as well, "I'm sure I can be of some 'assistance'."
"Um, yes, well have you seen any of these kids tonight?"
Wolverine could hear Scott pulling out a photo.
SLAM!
Something heavy was rammed into the door.
"Kids, I don't see any kids here-just adults- that's you-and me."
"Miss, I'm going to have to ask you to release my collar," Scott was barely able to get out.
"Or what?" the co-ed giggled.
ZZZZIIIiiiiiiippppppp
"I BEG YOUR PARDON!" exclaimed Scott, "I'll thank you to leave my pants alone!"
"Oh, your welcome," the girl slurred.
"I wasn't thanking you!" insisted Scott.
"Oh, wait let me get Fluffy." The girl's voice could be heard.
"Fluffy?-Who's-" Scott wasn't able to finish his sentence before.
RRRRRRROOOOOOWWWWWRRRRRRR!
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" shrieked Scott as he narrowly made it out the door and back into the hall to the safety of the Wolverine (I don't know it I would call that safe, just a thought).
Logan shot Scott a look as if he were going to say something-
"I don't want to talk about it, not now, not ever!" said Scott in a trembling voice.
"Whoa, easy Cyke, I was just going to tell you your barn door's open.
"What?!" Scott looked down, "-Damn it!"
He turned towards the wall-Ziiiiiiip
"I wonder if the dorm parent knows she has a pet, let alone the Board of Health," Cyke mutter to himself as he started down the hall again.
Wolverine chuckled under his breath and asked as he exhaled a puff of smoke, "Want me to take the next one?"
"Would you?" asked Scott in nothing short of a whimper.
Ya, that's pretty much how Scott's night had been since he knocked on the first door, the beginning of Thanksgiving break (all be it short as it is) be damned!
-------------
Meanwhile, back at the ranch:
Charles and Eric were heavily engaged in a lightening round of chess. They had been playing for two hours and so far it could have been anyone's game. Naturally the best defense in a good offence, to steel an old cliché, or in this case a good distraction-
"So," Magneto began casually, "how long do you think it will take them to find Pyro, Rogue and Iceman?"
"You mean after they finish bickering?" inquired Charles as he captured one of Magneto's pawns with his knight.
"And not a second before," Magneto smirked as he took one of Charles' pawns with his rook.
"I think we will be receiving a call that they've gone out to breakfast sometime before first period that they've gone out for breakfast." said Charles as moved one of his pawns.
-------------
Wolverine and Scott had all but given up as they walked down the back stair and out the door of the 5th dorm they had searched. They had found nothing, everyone was either unconscious, to drunk to focus on the photo or "otherwise engaged".
"What are we going to do, Logan? We've been searching for hours-it's nearly dawn-and no one has found any sign of them!" exclaimed Scott in utter despair.
"Easy, Scooter, we'll find them. I mean how far can they go loaded?"
"Not helping, Logan."
SLAM!
The door fell into place behind them just in time for them to hear-
"C'mon, giahs, we gotta get back before they know we skipped town," Marie half slurred.
Both Scott and Logan looked toward the direction of Marie's voice.
"And how do you propose we do that, Rogue?" asked Bobby, "We didn't bring a car and I know I don't have enough for a cab!"
"Hey, guys," said Pyro, who was sitting on the ground.
"Uhg, what is it now, John?" asked a very disgusted Marie.
"I forgot how to stand up-"
There was a pause-
Then all three burst out laughing.
Scott pulled out his walkie-talkie and flipped to channel 3, "All units converge, all units converge, we found them behind the 4th dorm from the mosh pit."
In the mean time Logan had walked over to the tanked trio.
"LOGAN!" squealed Marie as she jumped on him nearly taking the both of them out.
"Who there, kid, I think you need a tick-tack or sumthin'-damn!" said Wolverine as she attempted to stabilize her.
Polp!
Bobby had wondered off the stone patio behind the dorm where the others stood as his knees went weak and he fell into the snow.
"Bobby, are you alright?" asked Scott as he put the walkie-talkie back onto his utility belt.
Pyro looked up at the sound of Scott's voice, "Shit, the party's over guys, the fun police just arrived."
"I resent that!" yelled Scott more than a little offended.
"He's got a point," said Toad as he bounded out from behind a bush with Beast at his heels.
"I agree," said Mystique as she and Kurt walked onto the porch from the woods.
"Hey, Nightcrawler, dude, thanks for helping us put that car in one-eye's room," said Pyro.
"You did that?!" Scott glared at Kurt.
"I svear I can explain, Herr Scott-" Nightcrawler began.
"Hey, where are Storm and Sabertooth?" Bobby cut in.
"Back at the Institute and no one is going to say anything to them about this little 'excursion'," said Mystique in a deadly tone.
Marie looked up at Logan, "Are we in huge trouble?"
"No kid, you're in fuckin' huge trouble." said Wolverine.
-------------
BAMF!
They figured the fasted way to get back to the X-Jet was for Kurt to port them there.
"Logan, would ya let go a meh already?! It's not liahke Ah'm gonna run off!" insisted Marie.
"You can barely stand. Yer drunk off yer ass!" Logan pointed out.
"WELL AH NEVAH!" gasped Marie, "Ah am certainly not drunk!"
She nearly toppled over!
"Oh, yer drunk alright!" declared Logan as he scooped her up and began to walk towards the jet.
"Oh riaght," began Marie sarcastically, "Ah'm drunk and Storm and Sabertooth aren't married!"
Now Rogue had everyone's undivided attention-
"Holy shit-they're married-and you didn't tell ME?!" exclaimed Py.
"Well of course Ah didn't tell you, dumb ass, or all the adults would have known!" shouted Rogue.
"Uh, Rogue, you just pretty much told 'all the adults'," Bobby pointed out.
"Shit, Ah did?" Marie started to laugh uncontrollably.
"HA!" yelled Py, "Now who's the 'dumb ass'?"
All three of the teens were laughing again-
The adults, on the other hand were exchanging shocked glances.