Chapter 18: Extreme Water Sports and Rancid Gym Socks
As soon as Mystique and Rogue left to head downstairs, Professor Xavier rolled into the room. Eric smirked and put his rather weighty book down on the nightstand.
"I'll keep the students asleep and you set up the chess board," said Charles.
"If I'd known you would want a rematch so quickly I would have set up the board earlier, Old Friend," Magneto chuckled.
-------------
Meanwhile Bobby and John were left sitting in the commons room, when all of a sudden-
KRAK-BOOM!
king-king-king-king-king-BOOM
The mansion went into lock down, all the doors and windows sealed themselves shut with metal plates.
POW!
CRACK!
SHHHHHHHHHHHH!
"What the fuck was that?!" Bobby looked over at John.
"I don't know-lets' go check it out!"
The boys raced towards the source of the noise an were quite perturbed to find that it was coming from the kitchen-
more specifically under the kitchen sink. For you see that last clap of thunder had loosened a bolt from underneath the sink and the pipe burst open sending water in all directions.
Bobby threw open cabinet under the sink increasing the flow of water.
"Can't you just freeze it?" asked John.
"Not without bursting all the pipes in the building!" said Bobby frantically, "Can't you just solder it back together?".
"No, I'd only melt it," John explained.
"What was that Ah heard somethin' burst!" Rogue ran into the kitchen.
"Ya, it was the pipe under the sink," said Bobby as the water rushed over his sneakers.
"Well, can't you gahs-" Rogue began.
"No," said John flatly, "we've already been through that."
"We're trying to figure out what to do," said Bobby.
Rogue looked at the boys incredulously, "Don't just stand there, fiahnd somethin' ta plug it up, you mental midgets!"
"Hey!" objected John.
"Fight with her later," said Bobby we have to hurry.
The teens ran in three different directions to search for something to stop the leak.
-------------
Down in the lab-
"OH MY-AH!" Ro was barely able to say.
KRAK-BOOM!
The OBGYN was looking at one of the machine print outs.
"Not much longer," Mystique tried to reassure Storm holding a wet cloth over her forehead.
"NNNHHHHHH!"
CRAK!
"What was that?" asked Hank when he didn't hear the 'Boom'.
"My hand," said Victor.
"Here we go," said the OBGYN.
"Don't you think we should get a cast on that hand?" asked Hank.
"It'll be fine in about five minutes," said Sabertooth.
-------------
When Bobby, John and Rogue reconvened in the kitchen all they had found was a bag of rubber bands, a pack of marshmallows, a pack of gum, an oar from a crew boat, a box-o-wine and a self-inflating emergency rubber raft.
"Great," said Py sarcastically, "this has the makings a camping trip gone to hell in a hand basket!"
"We don't even have a hand basket, dumb ass!" said Rogue.
"I know I'm having flashbacks to my scout days," said Bobby.
"You were a boy scout?" snickered John.
"It was a long time ago!-I was five and stupid!" argued Bobby.
"Can we focus for two seconds?!" interjected Marie.
KRAK-BOOM!
BANG!
The kitchen sealed itself shut with a five inch wide metal door.
"Shit," was all Rogue could say.
-------------
In the hanger Wolverine and Toad were trying to revive Nightcrawler while Scott attempted a manual override of one of the secret passageways.
"INVALID ACCESS CODE" said the automated female voice of the security system.
"Damn it!" swore Cyke as the system rejected the last access code he could think of, "this is hopeless!-Is Kurt awake, yet?"
"No," said Toad, "and at this rate he won't wake up anytime soon without smelling salts."
Cyke paused for a minute as if deep in thought, stroking his chin with thumb and index finger. Then he tore his shoe from his foot and yanked his sock off.
"Have you completely lost what was left of your mind?!" Logan asked the supposed fearless leader of the X-Men.
"We don't have smelling salts," Scott explained, "what about a smelly gym sock?"
Toad and Wolverine looked at each other.
"Why the hell not?" conceded Toad, "I know I'm out of ideas."
"Sure," said Wolverine, "but just keep it away from me!"
Scott slowly made his way over to Nighcrawler's motionless body.
-------------
Up in the kitchen the water level had reached knee level. That last clap of thunder had completely ripped the pipe in two spewing water in all directions.
"Ah think we'd best inflate the boat." Rogue said.
"I second the motion," said Py voice cracking a little, all this water had him more than a tiny bit on edge.
"Motion passed," said Bobby pulling the rip cord.
SNAP!
"What was that?!" asked Py attempting to use every fiber if his being to remain calm.
"Uh-the rip cord just snapped in half-" said Bobby looking at the fragment of string he now held in his hand.
"An' that means?" inquired Rogue.
"We have to inflate it manually," explained Bobby.
"Chiahst on a bike," sighed Rogue.
-------------
"I think he's dead," stated Scott as he covered Kurt's face with the rancid gym sock.
"Or he was alive until you put that sock on his face," ventured Toad.
"Damn, when was the last time you changed your socks?!" asked Wolverine backing away.
"Give or take three days ago," responded Scott.
Both Toad and Wolverine looked at Cyke incredulously.
Scott looked up at them, "What?!-Laundry day is tomorrow!"
-------------
By the time Bobby, Py and Rogue had inflated the boat the water level had risen to about waist height. They all hopped in and John grabbed the box-o- wine as it floated past.
"Now what?" asked Py.
"Well-" Bobby trailed off as he grabbed the crew paddle.
"Ah know!" declared Rogue as she grabbed a small radio from the counter. She flipped it on and tuned into an Italian opera station. "You boys up for a gondola ride?"
"Crank up the radio!" was Py's response, "Bobby, you're driving."
"Here," Rogue handed Iceman the crew oar.
Bobby sighed and accepted the oar from Rogue, "Fine, but I can't take you beyond the counter."
"Why not?" asked Py.
Bobby smirked, "International waters."
-------------
Back to the lab-
WHAAAAAAAAAAA!
It was all over-but the shots that is.
Storm was taking a nap with Victor hovering over her. It was at this time Hank reached into the draw of his desk and brought out a 60-caliber tranquilizer pistol (Ok, for those of you less familiar with gun sizes this one would be big enough to shoot bison close up. I'm not too sure if pistols even exist this large). He knew Victor was bound to be more than a little over protective of his new family. This was the only way Hank would be able to get a close look at both Storm and the babies.
BANG!
Hank nailed Sabertooth right in the jugular.
Victor fell to the ground with a thud.
"Nice shootin', Tex," said Mystique sarcastically as she held one of the babies.
"We have to move fast that tranquilizer only bought us half an hour, if we're lucky." Hank warned his counter parts.
-------------
sniff-sniff-"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Kurt shrieked as he peeled Cyk's gym sock off of his face.
"He's ALIVE!" declared Toad.
"Ah-barely," stated Kurt, "Wat happened?"
"You got wanged by some falling debris," explained Toad.
"Is 'wanged' a word?" asked Scott.
"Who cares?" asked Wolverine turning his attention to Kurt, "Feel well enough to transport us out of here, Elf?"
"I guess so," said Kurt rubbing his head.
"Good, because we left the three stooges without supervision, they're probably halfway to Havana by now," commented Toad.
"God only knows their up shit creek without a paddle." Wolverine added as Kurt ported them back to the commons room.
Oh, if only Logan knew how close he was.
-------------
When the men reached the commons room they noticed straight away the trio of teens was missing.
"Where have those little Cretins gotten off to now?!" said a rather exasperated Toad.
"I don't know," said Scott, "but if they're smart they'll stay there."
"Hey, do you guys hear water?" asked Wolverine.
They paused for a moment.
"Ja, it sounds like it's coming from ze kitchen." Kurt said.
"That's strange, I don't remember leaving the water running," said Scott as he made his way to the kitchen.
"Mien Gott ze kitchen is sealed!" exclaimed Kurt.
"I'll handle this," said Scott while nothing short of striking a pose.
"Like you handled that systems override back in the hanger?" asked Logan sarcastically.
"Oh ye of little faith," said Scott in a highfalutin tone.
"No, oh me remembering past experiences!" corrected Logan.
Cyke pushed a four digit combination into a key pad left of the kitchen door then removed a plastic key card through a slot just over the key pad.
The door slid open and the four men were blown back a title wave of water accompanied by the three teens in the inflatable boat singing along with the radio and badly out of key. The boat came to an abrupt stop against the wall opposite the kitchen doorway.
"HOLY SHIP!" yelled Rogue.
"What's the big idea?!" asked Bobby.
"Ya, we were right in the middle of the bridge (the high point of a song)!" said Py.
"It looks more like you were in the middle of the Atlantic," said Wolverine as he pulled Rogue out of the boat.
"Ugh, don't tell me they're pissed again!" groaned Toad.
"Are you vearing seranwrap?!" Kurt asked Rogue.
"Ah sweah Ah can explain this," said Rogue.
"Good, you can do so in the lab. I think everyone could use a good story after tonight." Said Magneto as he and the Prof. came down the hall.
With that they all headed down to the lab.
-------------
Sabertooth was just coming around as he heard the fax machine on Hank's desk go off, "Uh, my head, what happened?" Vic looked down to find his hand bandaged "Oh-Hank-Can I have a word?!" he growled.
"mmmmmhhhhhhh?-Vic, go back to sleep," Storm murmured and rolled over. Then it hit her she was laying on her stomach. She sat up quickly and looked over at Victor, "Where are they?!-We've only been parents for a few hours and we already suck!" she declared in panic.
"Oh, calm down, Hank and the others just wanted to make sure they were all healthy," said Rogue as walked into the room with one of the babies in her arms.
All three triplets were identical with their mother's white hair and blue eyes, along with their father's light skin and tail, but that wasn't all they had gotten from their father.
"Why are his hands covered with mittens? Is something wrong?!" asked Storm already going into overprotective parent mode as Rogue handed her the baby.
"Hank was afraid they would cut themselves," said Rogue.
"Why?" asked Victor.
Rogue smirked a little and responded, "Claws."
"Rogue, are you wearing seranwrap?" asked Ororo.
"And are you wet from the waist down?!" asked Sabertooth.
"Uh, ya it's been a long niaht-" Rogue trailed off.
"That reminds me," said Scott walking through the medical lab door, "I want a five page paper from each of you on my desk in two days outlining what you did while you were in Montreal and a definition of what a parapet is."
The kids would have protested only Sabertooth's cell phone, "Hello?-Oh, it's you-You will?!-Ya, I see it," Victor walked over to the fax machine and retrieved four sheets that had been printed out while he was coming to, "You're where?-Really?!-I see-Great thanks, I'll talk to you soon."
"What was that all about?" asked Ororo.
"That was my contact. She agreed to sell one of her estates. It's an uncharted island off the coast of one of the Hawaiian islands. It has a 40,000 square foot house, a staff of 34, a two-thousand square foot pool, tennis courts, a stable and 500 square foot greenhouse." Vic explained.
"Where was she calling from?" asked Magneto.
"The Sahara," said Sabertooth as he looked toward Storm, "apparently there's a foot of snow on the ground."
~FIN~
-------------
Afterward:
Storm and Sabertooth moved out to the island with the triplets: Victor, Chris and Will. Sabetooth continued his work as an assassin against the wishes of Storm, who went on to have three girls and helped the X-Men with missions when ever she could. The first two were twins: Emma and Lily, who only wound up with their father's blonde hair, while they inherited their mother's skin and blue eyes. The youngest girl, Cudare, took more after her brothers with a tail, claws, blue eyes, white hair and light skin.
Will went on to become a lawyer for mutant rights in NY state. He married a red headed leopard mutant by the name of Sahara. They had a little girl with red hair named Katie. The other two boys, however, were content to just settle back into their roles as heirs of a vast fortune. For the twins it was pretty much the same thing, only they kept up an on again off again courtship with some European royalty.
Cudare on the other hand took an interest in her father's business much to the dismay of her mother.
Well that's all folks. Thank you all for your unfathomable patients-break out the champagne it's over~YAY! With any luck I'll get the next one up and running in the comic verse soon-and don't worry Gambit will definitely have a special role in it along with Wolverine, Mystique, Jubilee and Rogue.
As soon as Mystique and Rogue left to head downstairs, Professor Xavier rolled into the room. Eric smirked and put his rather weighty book down on the nightstand.
"I'll keep the students asleep and you set up the chess board," said Charles.
"If I'd known you would want a rematch so quickly I would have set up the board earlier, Old Friend," Magneto chuckled.
-------------
Meanwhile Bobby and John were left sitting in the commons room, when all of a sudden-
KRAK-BOOM!
king-king-king-king-king-BOOM
The mansion went into lock down, all the doors and windows sealed themselves shut with metal plates.
POW!
CRACK!
SHHHHHHHHHHHH!
"What the fuck was that?!" Bobby looked over at John.
"I don't know-lets' go check it out!"
The boys raced towards the source of the noise an were quite perturbed to find that it was coming from the kitchen-
more specifically under the kitchen sink. For you see that last clap of thunder had loosened a bolt from underneath the sink and the pipe burst open sending water in all directions.
Bobby threw open cabinet under the sink increasing the flow of water.
"Can't you just freeze it?" asked John.
"Not without bursting all the pipes in the building!" said Bobby frantically, "Can't you just solder it back together?".
"No, I'd only melt it," John explained.
"What was that Ah heard somethin' burst!" Rogue ran into the kitchen.
"Ya, it was the pipe under the sink," said Bobby as the water rushed over his sneakers.
"Well, can't you gahs-" Rogue began.
"No," said John flatly, "we've already been through that."
"We're trying to figure out what to do," said Bobby.
Rogue looked at the boys incredulously, "Don't just stand there, fiahnd somethin' ta plug it up, you mental midgets!"
"Hey!" objected John.
"Fight with her later," said Bobby we have to hurry.
The teens ran in three different directions to search for something to stop the leak.
-------------
Down in the lab-
"OH MY-AH!" Ro was barely able to say.
KRAK-BOOM!
The OBGYN was looking at one of the machine print outs.
"Not much longer," Mystique tried to reassure Storm holding a wet cloth over her forehead.
"NNNHHHHHH!"
CRAK!
"What was that?" asked Hank when he didn't hear the 'Boom'.
"My hand," said Victor.
"Here we go," said the OBGYN.
"Don't you think we should get a cast on that hand?" asked Hank.
"It'll be fine in about five minutes," said Sabertooth.
-------------
When Bobby, John and Rogue reconvened in the kitchen all they had found was a bag of rubber bands, a pack of marshmallows, a pack of gum, an oar from a crew boat, a box-o-wine and a self-inflating emergency rubber raft.
"Great," said Py sarcastically, "this has the makings a camping trip gone to hell in a hand basket!"
"We don't even have a hand basket, dumb ass!" said Rogue.
"I know I'm having flashbacks to my scout days," said Bobby.
"You were a boy scout?" snickered John.
"It was a long time ago!-I was five and stupid!" argued Bobby.
"Can we focus for two seconds?!" interjected Marie.
KRAK-BOOM!
BANG!
The kitchen sealed itself shut with a five inch wide metal door.
"Shit," was all Rogue could say.
-------------
In the hanger Wolverine and Toad were trying to revive Nightcrawler while Scott attempted a manual override of one of the secret passageways.
"INVALID ACCESS CODE" said the automated female voice of the security system.
"Damn it!" swore Cyke as the system rejected the last access code he could think of, "this is hopeless!-Is Kurt awake, yet?"
"No," said Toad, "and at this rate he won't wake up anytime soon without smelling salts."
Cyke paused for a minute as if deep in thought, stroking his chin with thumb and index finger. Then he tore his shoe from his foot and yanked his sock off.
"Have you completely lost what was left of your mind?!" Logan asked the supposed fearless leader of the X-Men.
"We don't have smelling salts," Scott explained, "what about a smelly gym sock?"
Toad and Wolverine looked at each other.
"Why the hell not?" conceded Toad, "I know I'm out of ideas."
"Sure," said Wolverine, "but just keep it away from me!"
Scott slowly made his way over to Nighcrawler's motionless body.
-------------
Up in the kitchen the water level had reached knee level. That last clap of thunder had completely ripped the pipe in two spewing water in all directions.
"Ah think we'd best inflate the boat." Rogue said.
"I second the motion," said Py voice cracking a little, all this water had him more than a tiny bit on edge.
"Motion passed," said Bobby pulling the rip cord.
SNAP!
"What was that?!" asked Py attempting to use every fiber if his being to remain calm.
"Uh-the rip cord just snapped in half-" said Bobby looking at the fragment of string he now held in his hand.
"An' that means?" inquired Rogue.
"We have to inflate it manually," explained Bobby.
"Chiahst on a bike," sighed Rogue.
-------------
"I think he's dead," stated Scott as he covered Kurt's face with the rancid gym sock.
"Or he was alive until you put that sock on his face," ventured Toad.
"Damn, when was the last time you changed your socks?!" asked Wolverine backing away.
"Give or take three days ago," responded Scott.
Both Toad and Wolverine looked at Cyke incredulously.
Scott looked up at them, "What?!-Laundry day is tomorrow!"
-------------
By the time Bobby, Py and Rogue had inflated the boat the water level had risen to about waist height. They all hopped in and John grabbed the box-o- wine as it floated past.
"Now what?" asked Py.
"Well-" Bobby trailed off as he grabbed the crew paddle.
"Ah know!" declared Rogue as she grabbed a small radio from the counter. She flipped it on and tuned into an Italian opera station. "You boys up for a gondola ride?"
"Crank up the radio!" was Py's response, "Bobby, you're driving."
"Here," Rogue handed Iceman the crew oar.
Bobby sighed and accepted the oar from Rogue, "Fine, but I can't take you beyond the counter."
"Why not?" asked Py.
Bobby smirked, "International waters."
-------------
Back to the lab-
WHAAAAAAAAAAA!
It was all over-but the shots that is.
Storm was taking a nap with Victor hovering over her. It was at this time Hank reached into the draw of his desk and brought out a 60-caliber tranquilizer pistol (Ok, for those of you less familiar with gun sizes this one would be big enough to shoot bison close up. I'm not too sure if pistols even exist this large). He knew Victor was bound to be more than a little over protective of his new family. This was the only way Hank would be able to get a close look at both Storm and the babies.
BANG!
Hank nailed Sabertooth right in the jugular.
Victor fell to the ground with a thud.
"Nice shootin', Tex," said Mystique sarcastically as she held one of the babies.
"We have to move fast that tranquilizer only bought us half an hour, if we're lucky." Hank warned his counter parts.
-------------
sniff-sniff-"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Kurt shrieked as he peeled Cyk's gym sock off of his face.
"He's ALIVE!" declared Toad.
"Ah-barely," stated Kurt, "Wat happened?"
"You got wanged by some falling debris," explained Toad.
"Is 'wanged' a word?" asked Scott.
"Who cares?" asked Wolverine turning his attention to Kurt, "Feel well enough to transport us out of here, Elf?"
"I guess so," said Kurt rubbing his head.
"Good, because we left the three stooges without supervision, they're probably halfway to Havana by now," commented Toad.
"God only knows their up shit creek without a paddle." Wolverine added as Kurt ported them back to the commons room.
Oh, if only Logan knew how close he was.
-------------
When the men reached the commons room they noticed straight away the trio of teens was missing.
"Where have those little Cretins gotten off to now?!" said a rather exasperated Toad.
"I don't know," said Scott, "but if they're smart they'll stay there."
"Hey, do you guys hear water?" asked Wolverine.
They paused for a moment.
"Ja, it sounds like it's coming from ze kitchen." Kurt said.
"That's strange, I don't remember leaving the water running," said Scott as he made his way to the kitchen.
"Mien Gott ze kitchen is sealed!" exclaimed Kurt.
"I'll handle this," said Scott while nothing short of striking a pose.
"Like you handled that systems override back in the hanger?" asked Logan sarcastically.
"Oh ye of little faith," said Scott in a highfalutin tone.
"No, oh me remembering past experiences!" corrected Logan.
Cyke pushed a four digit combination into a key pad left of the kitchen door then removed a plastic key card through a slot just over the key pad.
The door slid open and the four men were blown back a title wave of water accompanied by the three teens in the inflatable boat singing along with the radio and badly out of key. The boat came to an abrupt stop against the wall opposite the kitchen doorway.
"HOLY SHIP!" yelled Rogue.
"What's the big idea?!" asked Bobby.
"Ya, we were right in the middle of the bridge (the high point of a song)!" said Py.
"It looks more like you were in the middle of the Atlantic," said Wolverine as he pulled Rogue out of the boat.
"Ugh, don't tell me they're pissed again!" groaned Toad.
"Are you vearing seranwrap?!" Kurt asked Rogue.
"Ah sweah Ah can explain this," said Rogue.
"Good, you can do so in the lab. I think everyone could use a good story after tonight." Said Magneto as he and the Prof. came down the hall.
With that they all headed down to the lab.
-------------
Sabertooth was just coming around as he heard the fax machine on Hank's desk go off, "Uh, my head, what happened?" Vic looked down to find his hand bandaged "Oh-Hank-Can I have a word?!" he growled.
"mmmmmhhhhhhh?-Vic, go back to sleep," Storm murmured and rolled over. Then it hit her she was laying on her stomach. She sat up quickly and looked over at Victor, "Where are they?!-We've only been parents for a few hours and we already suck!" she declared in panic.
"Oh, calm down, Hank and the others just wanted to make sure they were all healthy," said Rogue as walked into the room with one of the babies in her arms.
All three triplets were identical with their mother's white hair and blue eyes, along with their father's light skin and tail, but that wasn't all they had gotten from their father.
"Why are his hands covered with mittens? Is something wrong?!" asked Storm already going into overprotective parent mode as Rogue handed her the baby.
"Hank was afraid they would cut themselves," said Rogue.
"Why?" asked Victor.
Rogue smirked a little and responded, "Claws."
"Rogue, are you wearing seranwrap?" asked Ororo.
"And are you wet from the waist down?!" asked Sabertooth.
"Uh, ya it's been a long niaht-" Rogue trailed off.
"That reminds me," said Scott walking through the medical lab door, "I want a five page paper from each of you on my desk in two days outlining what you did while you were in Montreal and a definition of what a parapet is."
The kids would have protested only Sabertooth's cell phone, "Hello?-Oh, it's you-You will?!-Ya, I see it," Victor walked over to the fax machine and retrieved four sheets that had been printed out while he was coming to, "You're where?-Really?!-I see-Great thanks, I'll talk to you soon."
"What was that all about?" asked Ororo.
"That was my contact. She agreed to sell one of her estates. It's an uncharted island off the coast of one of the Hawaiian islands. It has a 40,000 square foot house, a staff of 34, a two-thousand square foot pool, tennis courts, a stable and 500 square foot greenhouse." Vic explained.
"Where was she calling from?" asked Magneto.
"The Sahara," said Sabertooth as he looked toward Storm, "apparently there's a foot of snow on the ground."
~FIN~
-------------
Afterward:
Storm and Sabertooth moved out to the island with the triplets: Victor, Chris and Will. Sabetooth continued his work as an assassin against the wishes of Storm, who went on to have three girls and helped the X-Men with missions when ever she could. The first two were twins: Emma and Lily, who only wound up with their father's blonde hair, while they inherited their mother's skin and blue eyes. The youngest girl, Cudare, took more after her brothers with a tail, claws, blue eyes, white hair and light skin.
Will went on to become a lawyer for mutant rights in NY state. He married a red headed leopard mutant by the name of Sahara. They had a little girl with red hair named Katie. The other two boys, however, were content to just settle back into their roles as heirs of a vast fortune. For the twins it was pretty much the same thing, only they kept up an on again off again courtship with some European royalty.
Cudare on the other hand took an interest in her father's business much to the dismay of her mother.
Well that's all folks. Thank you all for your unfathomable patients-break out the champagne it's over~YAY! With any luck I'll get the next one up and running in the comic verse soon-and don't worry Gambit will definitely have a special role in it along with Wolverine, Mystique, Jubilee and Rogue.