Chapter 57: Nasty Surprises

"So, in other words, you tried to talk June out of defecting with Gary by telling her I'd date with her if she didn't?" Matt asked.

"That's one interpretation of what Tina said," Youngdramon answered.

"Now isn't the time, Youngdramon," Tina cut in. "Basically yes, Matt…if she had gone with Gary, she'd probably be dead, right now."

"And why didn't you try to talk Gary out of this?"

"Because he's just plain psycho."

"I see…so, I'm guessing that you expect me to play along with your lie?"

"Unless you can come up with some better idea, yeah."

******

"You want me to do what?" Yolei asked.

"I want you to sign me up for some mission this evening because that way, I won't have to date June. It will give me an excuse."

Yolei shook her head. "We need Metalgarurumon for other things, Matt…we can't go wasting Gabumon's energy on finding obelasers."

Matt sighed… "I hope Tina's got some bright idea…"

******

Matt found Tina the same place where she always liked to be: with the orphans. She was doing one of her "pile-on" hugs…Tina had wanted some way to hug all the orphans at once, and this was the idea she came up with: she would lie on the ground with her arms outstretched, and then the children would pile on top of her. This meant that Matt had to kill more time waiting for her to come unpacked before he could talk to her, and this put him about seven minutes closer to sitting at a table with June.

"Tina, this is bogus…I can't excuse my way out of a date with June, and, if she wants to go with Gary, she belongs in a mental hospital, not at a restaurant with me!"

"I know, I know…but how else could I get her away from Gary?"

"If I were you, I would've tried having Ash tie her up with Bulbasaur's vine whip. In fact, I think I should have him do that right now: I'm not interesting in having a date with her."

Tina sighed… "So…what can we do to keep her from going back to Gary?"

"Beats me…she'd never find Gary if he's wandering about in the city."

"Hmm…and she only went with Gary in the first place because she was in love with him…maybe she'll get over this and forget, or something…Youngdramon?"

"At your service!" Youngdramon said, bounding up to them.

"I'd like you to do some scouting for us…go up to June's room and see if she's still crazy over Matt."

"Will do!" Youngdramon answered, waddling off to June's room. Youngdramon found June rummaging around in her closet. "What's the problem?"

"I can't find anything to wear!"

"What about your normal digidestined outfit? I mean, that's the kind of thing that a French model would wear on stage."

"You think so?"

Youngdramon mulled over the question a second time, during which there was an awkward silence.

June broke the silence. "But…even if it is, Matt's seen me in it a million times! I need to show him something new…"

Youngdramon took a hanger up in her mouth. "What about this?" she asked through her teeth.

"That? …That's a school uniform, Youngdramon!"

"It's the best thing you're going to find in that closet! Unless they've started assigning dress uniforms to students…"

June sighed. "This is going to ruin our date, but it's the best thing we have…"

******

"Nice going, Youngdramon," Matt said. "Now I have to wear a school uniform, too!"

"At least you've pilfered those badges of honor from the dorm," Davis answered

"This is a date with June we're talking about, Davis! I don't care if I look good when I'm about to go into the jaws of death!"

Davis nodded. "I'm sure glad that I never have to go on a date with her."

"I envy you, Davis…" Matt pulled the long raincoat that he had looted from the grocery store, back in America.

"What're you taking that for? You aren't dating her outside, are you?"

"Tina told me about this one place on the beach where it can start raining without warning…I'm hoping it'll cut my date short. And guess who's doing the cooking?"

"…You?"

"Eventually. I'm planning on having Tina burn the steaks on the grill."

"So...you're stacking the deck against June?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

******

"I can't believe your mom let us do this," Matt said.

"She knows that June would go insane if we didn't…so she's going to try it out," Tina whispered.

"What's the plan if it does rain?"

"Not if: when. But the plan is to walk back home, basically…I don't want to rub it in June's face that much; the entire idea is to keep her from going crazy."

"Too late, if you ask me," Matt said.

They arrived at the beach restaurant, and June was already there. If she had been wearing any more makeup, it would've killed her. June was almost too high on hormones to speak. "N…nice medals!" was all she could say.

"Um…thanks…"

They sat down at a table. Several full moons shone brightly out of the sky, so brightly that it was nearly like daytime. Chilly ocean breezes came in from the sea, forcing June to wear a blanket over her lap, as though she were a patient in a hospital. Apparently, the designers of her uniform weren't into chaste dressing, as the skirt on her uniform was oddly short.

June stared at Matt the entire time as they were sitting down. Her crazy expression made the silence between them all the more awkward. "So…" Matt said, "How have you been, lately?"

"N…nice medals!"

"Really?" Matt asked.

June thought to herself with what little rational mentality she had left, "I've got to compose!" June coughed. "I…I've been okay…"

"I heard that Gary went crazy and defected."

"I expect that much from him. Crazy."

"So…how soon do you think he'll come running back?"

"I don't care if he never comes back!"

"Then how will Kangamon radio-digivolve?"

"There'll be other guys with moon stones…I think you'd look good with one…"

Matt swallowed. "Okay…um, so…what would you like to drink?"

June was silent for a long time. "T-to us!" she answered, raising her empty glass.

With a glass that full, I'll drink to that! Matt thought to himself. "T…to us," Matt answered. They clinked their glasses together, and June looked into the glass. She felt unbelievably embarrassed that she had done that. "Listen, June…are you okay?"

"I…just…need some time in the lady's powder room," she answered.

"The lady's powder room has been ground into powder," Matt answered, gesturing towards the restaurant. The near side of the restaurant looked beautiful, but the far size had been pulverized by crackones.

June swallowed hard. The powder room was the her best chance for escape, and she knew---albeit barely---that she had not been doing well, and needed a time-out. She wasn't getting one, though.

Tina showed up, wearing a tuxedo and with a towel over her arm. "Good evening," she said with a faked French accent. "How may I be of service?"

"Um…could…we have the wine list?" Matt asked, expecting that he wouldn't be able to continue like this if he was sober.

"I'll have to see some ID. We've had enough under-age drinkers as it is."

Matt said through his teeth, "There is no law anymore, Tina! City hall and the Diet are history!"

"My mom would throw a fit, though!" Tina answered. "May I interest you in something…slightly more soft?"

"Just water for me," Matt answered, thinking to himself.

"I'll have what he's having!" June answered.

"Very well, two waters." Tina brought out a pitcher full of water, and a single drop from that pitcher splashed out of the glass and landed on June's cheek. This was not good; it created a noticeable streak in her makeup that made Matt wonder what she'd look like after the rain started.

There was an awkward silence as Tina and Matt look at the streak, and as June realized that it was there. Tina cleared her throat and broke the silence. "…Will that be all?" Tina asked.

"I doubt it," Matt said, looking at June's condition. She actually looked pretty stressed: this was her big chance, and she had blown it.

"While I am here…would you like to order?"

"I ---*cough*---I think we need a few more minutes," June answered.

"Very well…a few more minutes," Tina said. A few more minutes of this should kill them or cure them, Tina thought to herself. As she walked back to the other side of the grill, she asked Youngdramon, "So…how are the steaks coming?"

"They just came out of the kerosene marinade," Youngdramon answered. Right on cue, the steaks burst into flames. There was nothing left but grease, by that time.

Back at the table, June shuddered. "That was a…a kind of a cold breeze," June said.

Matt shrugged. "That's a lot of water out there," he said, gesturing towards the ocean. "What can you expect?"

"Yeah…I hate water."

Noticing a few wet spots appearing on the tablecloth, Matt said, "Then you'll really hate what's coming next…"

June swallowed hard. She opened her purple umbrella and said, "Right when this was getting good!"

Looking at the streak of makeup on her cheek, The Unnamed Figure said, "If that's what you call good, I'd hate to see what you call bad!"

June and Matt both rolled their eyes in unison. "Not this guy, again!" they both muttered in unison.

"And without your digimon, I see!"

"Wanna bet?" Gabumon asked, jumping out from behind the shrubbery.

"Let's do this," Tibemon said, jumping after Gabumon.

"Gabumon, warp-digivolve to…Metalgarurumon!"

"Tibemon, digivolve to…Savamon!"

"Savamon, digivolve to…Amazonmon!"

"Impressive, I'll admit, but not as impressive as this: Digi-modify! Warp digivolution, activate!"

"Ewemon II, warp-digivolve to…"