Well inspiration struck, not sure that was a good thing or not! But if I continue, you should soon find out!

We go onwards…

(Quick note – N1 has changed to H, N2 to F and N3 to FM, just to confuse you. Henry is still MAM (middle aged man) and Radar is Radar (or R) because I ran out of creativity. )

Enjoy.

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F: 'The sun began to set on the haphazard day…'

H: 'Don't look at me like that I didn't write the stuff!'

F: 'The two friends sat in the sand watching as it sank into the sea.'

R and MAM sit down and stare into the distance (which is off screen) They are sitting on a mound of sand which is pretending to be a beach. The rabbit previously mentioned gets stage fright and jumps back to its hutch.

R: 'Wow, I never knew that the sun liked to swim.'

MAM looks curiously at R

MAM: Taking swig of drink. 'Yes. But it's not very good at floating. It will be dark soon. He sighs. It was a brilliant day though. Thank you for helping me out back there. I don't think I would have survived without you.'

Noise off stage

H: 'What? What do you want Trapper?'

T: 'Well, I hate to query your judgement Hawk, but…'

H: 'you always do.'

T: 'Right! Well somebody has to don't they!'

F: 'Well…? What do you want you… fink?!'

T: 'Well, Frank', condescending in tone, '…there is just the little problem that nobody watching this will know how or why Radar saved Henry!'

Whispering offstage

H: 'You can explain it all when you come in, in the next scene!'

T: 'What?!?!, I'm no good at improvising. I get stage struck!' Grins 'All I can do is make silly noises!'

H: 'Well tell the audience through mime then!'

FM: 'Please… we should get back to the story… the sun is sinking and if left there too long Henry and Radar will start to get cold!'

H: 'Here goes… The sun had vanished now,'

FM: 'It had gone to bed, beneath the waves'

F: 'And the two friends were beginning to get cold!'

Radar and MAM start to shiver [exaggeratingly so]

R: 'You must be getting cold now sir. What with everything that happened today. Don't you think you aught to go home?'

MAM: 'Yes, perhaps you are right.'

They stand and walk off stage.

H: 'So they walked off into the night.'

MAM and Radar walk across stage, as if walking somewhere. (The sand disguised as a beach is still present)

H: 'Presently they arrived at a building, the sign of which read –'

FM: ''Enter all ye who require a bed for the night, Welcome to the Seashore Inn''

A Close up of a crude sign is shown saying just that in big purple paint. Then the is taken away and we see that the scene though still the same (i.e. blank apart from a pile of sand), now has the sign held in high in the air to the side of the stage to appear as if attached to a building just off stage (however a hand holding it there is visible). There is also a man holding a door handle; a hand grabs at his shirt and he turns and then looking guilty moves back slightly to produce the same effect as that of the sign (his hand still showing too). MAM and Radar enter from the side they just exited (i.e. the one without the sign and door handle) and stop in front of these artefacts.

MAM: 'Ah, Home sweet home. It is good to get back.'

R: 'Yes, that it is sir; it has been a long day'

H: Jeez, who did write this script? Its crap!'

Offstage: Author appears to Hawkeye and threatens him with life in the sack previously occupied by Frank, or worse a part in the activities on stage. Hawkeye backs down and the story continues.

MAM: 'Lets go inside, my wife will be wondering where I have been.' Chuckles. 'Little does she know that I nearly died today. She would probably not care anyway seeing as it is very nearly dinner time.'

R: 'What difference does that make sir?'

MAM: 'Why, young fellow, dinner time is the worst time of day to feel sorry for ones self, all she cares about is whether the meat is over cooked and the quests all have enough wine. All I ever get from her at this time of day is her nagging to keep all your glasses topped up, you would think she was trying to make you all drunk!'

H: 'He did not divulge to his young friend that it was exactly their idea - to get all the quests drunk, thereby hastening there demise, or rather sending them to bed earlier. And if this did not happen, it at least meant they got much more interesting evenings out of their guests than they would have, had they been sober.'

F: 'The young man quelled his elder friend's thoughts as he suggested they retire inside, away from the harsh winds.'

To back this statement up, from offstage a fan blows harshly on the pair, as Radar looks at MAM and MAM nods moving towards the door handle which is quivering up and down. Managing to grab it, he turns it, and hiding the fact that it seems to fall from the 'door' as he does this, moves offstage followed by Radar.

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Well that was Scene 1 (well ok it was scene 2 since we never got to see scene 1 – which I will just say was by far the best scene in the whole play!).

Stick around for scene 3 if you can manage to without tumbling down those steep steps to despair.

Thank you for your kind reviews those who did review it. I don't think I really deserved them. But I try to please.

Thank you.