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Part 9: The Three Parts of What-If
DUO'S POV
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Author's Note: Aside from this, I really have no plans on changing how I've been writing NMYG. I just wanted to throw MORE Duo into the fic, seeing how this fic... is about DUO! Much of this is Duo's opinion, I may have one later about Quatre so I can give the story the dimension it should have. This also will help connect a few loose ties. Gomen if everyone hates POV stories. If PPL read this and review, I would like to know what they think of having POV inserts to help clarify anything that I may muddle.
FOREVER thank yous to the following: PATTY40, rikasakuraduo-heerosyliaspike, & Siyris (OF COURSE)! People like you make posting... well... really worth posting. You guys keep my motivated, are honest, and help a lot whether you realize it our not. Again, and I know I say this a lot... AND MEAN IT EVERY TIME...
~~~~~?~~~~~!!!THANK YOU!!! ~~~~?~~~~~
WARNING: Part 11... has just about everything I've warned you about this fic, the real pain begins.
NMYG has been on FF.net for exactly one month today! HAPPY ONE-MONTH BIRTHDAY NMYG!!!
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What if I want to be here….
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Thea had left me to my thoughts, and once again I was left alone in the room that has become my willing prison. I feel no need to run, no need to fight, no worries at all, no need to contact my friends. Hell, I didn't even fight off that fuck nut that clamped on to my neck with his canine sharpies. Well... maybe I swung my arms a bit, but I think... and I hate to admit this, that I wanted to die there on the floor in his arms. Not Heero's, not Quatre's not even Trowa's... but in that odd man's arms. Well fuck, don't I just sound like such a novel queer?
Excuse me while I prance off and roll my eyes... at myself.
Anyhow, it started shortly thereafter. My body was wracked with some sort of itch deep under my skin, one that no amount of scraping would make it cease. I could have cried. It came out of nowhere... my skin felt feverish... my neck hot and throbbing... I'm not trying to make it sounds sexual, even though, the pain felt good. Like a bee bite that you message, it hurts and swells of course, but for some reason you crave the heat.
I think the relentless rough tingle went on for hours, but it could have been minutes here in Queen of Heart's Dungeon. I writhed enjoying the sensation and ripping at my skin to make it stop. I didn't even notice my nail break off into my own arm.....
The feeling of my clothes dragging back across my skin tickled, and I didn't want to be tickled. So by the time it had nearly faded, and I was worn, sweaty, and bloody, I was naked and tangled in the sheets of my(?) bed.
I couldn't shake the feeling, even as I drifted off into the darkest bowels of lala-land that She was watching me, that she was twisting my insides in ways that should have killed me, and I was lying there enjoying it.
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What if I hurt myself….
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My eyes where swollen shut when I woke up, and I nearly laughed; if I ever saw Chang-man again could I tell him I beat myself within one inch of my own life? Probably not! He'd never believe. If it weren't for the crusty gashes, torn skin, and rusty brown sheets I would have thought I had been dreaming or wouldn't have believed myself!
As I lay there, trying to bat my wet lashes and focus my bleary sleep-skewed vision I could feel a foreign body cradling my head in their lap. Inhumanly soft hands brushing my cheek, stroking the core of my soul. I relished in it at first, feeling therapeutic human contact against my tattered self mutilated body.
You can only dawdle in pleasure so long when you're wounded. Quickly I sat up and wielded my scariest Heero glare in the direction of my molester. How dare… he…
Starring back at me with an incomprehensible effortlessly tender expression was my attacker. Tilting his head, he further softened his gaze with a quizzical droop of his heavy eyelids. Was that concern? Or lust?
It's hard to tell when you are so over whelmed with shock. I had a similar reaction once when I walked in on Heero doing the Macarena to some old Mega Death disks I have lying around my room. I collect classic metal music. Even though it's beyond my era… you do not Macarena to Mega Death's Symphony of Destruction. My… theme song! After such a sight, something so bizarre, you loose all will to formulate words let alone have a basic thought process.
As if he suddenly recognized me as a danger, someone peering in on his intimate moment, his expression snapped back into an effortless scowl; his eyes over so slightly slanted, and his eyebrows gently drawn down above his staggeringly crystal gaze.
"Shameless." He asked in abrupt cool amusement.
I followed his gaze down to my exposed lap, and shrugged. I generally looked like a well-loved-beaten-brutally-mauled dog toy that had gone through the cathouse. "It doesn't matter, it's not like you can tell what anything is." I berate surveying the damage with a distant sort of interest.
His tightly pulled brow quirked up, "You can tell."
"And you would be looking. What is up with all the homosexual followers of vampirism?" I exclaim leaning back to watch his reaction to my bold jab. "Ouch!" I yelp. How the fuck did I manage to get back there too?
"Pathetic." He muttered sitting up as if the bed itself was covered in the Bubonic plague, the Black Death.
I eyed him covering myself gingerly with my stained sheets, "What is?"
For a moment his eyes fluttered between dry humor, anger, and that strange expression that had adorned him well just minutes before. "My interest in you." He stated making his way to the door.
"Join the 'I got a jones for a Duo' club, I'm sure it's official somewhere."
Turning to fix me with a breath stealing look, he shrugged dismissively, "I have a jones, but not for you."
I shift. "Ouch." Not because of my self-inflicted injuries, either.
With a self-gratifying grin, my loath-worthy attacker left me alone to my pondering. I didn't want to think about whom he could have a boner for aside from me in the Crypt Keeper's paradise. So far the body count was few: Thea, It-…I mean Her-, and Myself. Thea was old enough to be my kid… that is if I started having kids at the age of 7, and She… for some reason, the mere suggestion made my skin crawl. Somehow I knew I had it the nail right one the proverbial head. The mystery man wanted inside the Shinigami-rejects skin. Though, with him there, she had little need for me anywhere near her. Or did she…
I covered my ears to block out myself.
When you have nothing to worry about, you think about some of the stupidest things! Really you do...
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What if I'm hiding….
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TBC...(Please read the 2nd ending note)
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Ending Note: I'm highly concerned about my grammar, it worries me; same with my spelling. I've been trying to learn as much as I can from my fics and what people say about them... like until recently I had no idea there was a different between were and where, alright and all right, it's and its... until someone pointed it out. THANK YOU (you know who you are).
2-I'm going to take a break for a week or so I can finish or at least get my other fic up on FF.net. Meanwhile, please read my other fics and review, they're kinda neglected and always in progress (I'm a writing fanatic, I keep at least 10 stories/fics in constant rotation). ^-^ Part 10- Trowa does something regrettable, Quatre is found mentally unfit for his position, and Wufei.. in tears!?!? I appreciate all of your comments, and I WILL continue to update. See, I will continue writing, I just won't be posting for a little while. So keep an eye out for my new fic: mOBSCENE inspire by Marilyn Manson. Here is the net description:
Net Description: No secret government work, no Preventers, no safe houses. Now 22 Heero is a hit man for the Japanese Mafia and is assigned by the Oyabun's son to take down the "mistress" of a key member of the Chinese Mafia who is also the boss of a notorious motorcycle game. What happens when Heero finds out... his target is really Duo? (Yaoi, Angst, DF, SF)