She's not really cheating. Because she's not gay. What she's doing right now, it's just a thing. Because they both need things they wouldn't get any other way. They both love other people, and Cordy's sure Xander wouldn't mind too much. It's not her that's not puting out, after all. And it's not about love or even wanting her. It's need, pure and simple. Teenage lust driven by hormones. So it's not like she's actually betraying him. Because she doesn't even want the girl that much, no matter what she may feel every time she sees her. Because she isn't a dyke. Because that would be wrong.

And she keeps telling herself that even as she looks up from the blonde's legs, licking the juices from her lips as Buffy thrashes around, calling out Angel's name. She tells herself this because she has to. Because it's all she can to keep her heart from breaking every time she does this.