Chapter 2
I woke with a headache. Bad sleep did that to me. The dreams had kept me tossing and turning and waking all night. For a few minutes, I lay in bed staring at the ceiling. Trying to summon the will to get up.
Spike had gone. I knew he would be before I saw the empty couch, blankets flung on the floor. He never cleaned up after himself. I spent the morning doing all those boring necessities around the place and it wasn't till just after lunch that the phone rang.
"Up for a drink tonight?" Spike asked cheerfully when I answered.
"Not particularly," I replied. I was tired and grumpy from lack of sleep.
"Did you deliberately set out to lead a boring life? Or was it lack of a personality that did it?"
"No, it was getting involved with an ex-vampire whose brain had withered from overdose of peroxide that did it."
"She bites!" Spike laughed. "You need a few tipples luv. Loosen up that stick-up-the-arse attitude you got. C'mon, let's get loose and full o' juice tonight."
I sighed. He wasn't going to shut up until I agreed to meet him. When Spike wanted something, he would wheedle and whine and complain until you gave in just to get him off your back. The worst thing was that he had a certain charm to him. I don't know what it was – he wasn't the best-looking thing I've ever seen. Yeah, okay, so those damn cheekbones could slice day old bread; but he was too skinny and rangy. Nothing worse than a guy's hipbones digging into you during those 'intimate' moments. I think Spike's charm was a combination of his accent and his bad boy aura. Let's face it, all us females were a sucker for a bad boy. Probably our maternal instinct kicking in. We thought we could save them, be the one woman that tames them. Of course, as you get older and you realize that the bad boys are the ones that treat you like shit, you get wiser. You just want the ones that only look like bad boys, not act like them. In the end, I agreed to meet him for drinks. I had nothing else planned anyhow. Just another night in, playing 'The Sims' on my computer. God, I could be such a geek sometimes.
When I arrived at the bar, I was surprised at Spike's choice. It actually looked halfway decent. I had had visions of some fleapit, where you had to bring your own immunization kit. But 'Lagoon' was clean, smelt nice and was almost full. Spike seemed to favour those dim mostly empty bars where the only time someone looked at you was to gauge where the best place on your face was to plant their fist.
He was sitting at a table in the corner, back to the wall. Some of his predatory instincts hadn't left him. He still checked out a room when he walked in, still judged up potential victims.
I stopped at the bar to get my drink and was served by a clean-cut young guy who actually smiled at me. Was Spike getting his act together after all? Changing his lifestyle? Next thing he'd be telling me was he actually got a job. I shook my head as I walked over to him. Nah. Never happen. He had never worked a day in his life, even way back when he was human.
"Nice place," I said as I sat opposite Spike. "What happened? Lose your way?"
He grinned.
"Nah," he replied. "This is about the only place I haven't been banned from in the entire bloody city."
I laughed. I could believe it.
"So what's on?" I asked. "We just drinking? Or have you got more surprises planned for me?"
Spike lost his grin. He looked down into his drink and went quiet.
"What? What's happened?" I said. This didn't look good.
"I'm going after her, Serrie," he didn't look up at me.
"Who?" I was confused. Then it hit me. He was going to find Buffy. I sat back in my chair.
"I see," I said.
"You don't think it's a good idea?" Spike asked, eyebrows raised. "After all those times you told me to do it, now you don't bloody think I should?"
"Actually, I think you should," I replied, coolly. "But I doubt you'll find her in some bar, Spike. Sure you can handle it?"
"Bitch," he muttered.
"Whatever," I shrugged.
We were both silent. I sipped my drink and looked around the room. I hadn't meant to be so catty. I should have been grateful that he was finally getting off his arse and doing something. I wasn't sure how I felt. Relief that he was finally doing something about it, instead of just complaining and moaning and spending his days soused in booze? Or grief because he was going out of my life? Or maybe fear. Fear that he would find her dead and things would get worse. What if she didn't want to know him? Spike had told me things, horrible things that he had done to her and the Scoobies. Despite working with them for that last year, what if Buffy didn't want to see him? He had confided in me once that he knew she didn't love him like he loved her. What if she was with someone?
"Well, I'm going. Tomorrow," Spike said.
"Where are you going to go first?"
"I guess I better look up the Nancy Boy," Spike grinned. "That'll be fun."
I started to laugh. I had never met Angel. I had only glimpsed him once at The Bronze back in Sunnydale. Heard lots about him though. All from Spike, so you can guess it wasn't all complimentary. Wouldn't mind being a fly on the wall for that meeting.
"If anyone knows where she'll be, he will," Spike continued.
"And then what?" I asked. "You just going to rock up to her and say 'hi honey, I'm home'?"
He shrugged.
"I'll work it out when it happens," he replied and picked up his glass.
I watched him as he drank. He could be a right bastard sometimes, but I didn't want to see Spike hurt.
"She thinks you're dead, Spike," I said quietly.
"And won't she be gobsmacked when she sees I ain't?" he was trying to smile but wasn't too successful.
"Well. Good luck and all that. Hope you get what you want," I swallowed the rest of my drink.
"So, you comin'?" he asked. "Huh?" I stared at him.
"Are you coming with me or what?" he said again. This time he was smiling. Grinning actually. The little bastard loved to shock me. "We'll do that great yank tradition – the road trip. Cruise about, visit all those tacky tourist places, pick up birds..oh well, I'll pick up the birds."
A road trip? With Spike? Yeah right. Bar brawls in every tiny little hick town. With the way Spike shoots off that big mouth of his, we'd probably get stomped by every cowboy and white trash good ol' boy in seven states. Besides, I watch the movies. I know what those small town southern sheriffs do to out-of-staters. Happens every time. Run out of gas or the car breaks down and you have to spend a couple of days in Stephen King territory waiting for parts, and before you know it, the kindly ol' sheriff has designs on turning you or making you part of dinner for his town of freaks. No thanks.
"I can't leave," I said. "I have...stuff to do here."
"What? That job of yours? Yeah, real big responsibilities there all right. Oh and of course, your social life. Such a party goer. All your friends would just die if Serrie went out of town. Can't have that, can we? Nope, this town would be shot right to hell if good ol' Serendipity left for a while."
"Fuck you," I said and he laughed. He was right. Who would miss me? Eight years ago I had cut everyone I ever knew right out of my life. I didn't go out. With a shock, I suddenly realized that the only person I could call 'friend' was Spike. He was the only person I knew. The people I worked with, I kept at a distance. In fact, I knew nothing about their lives outside of the bookstore. I would go to work, come home, sleep, get up and go to work. That was my life. If I disappeared for a few weeks, would anyone even notice? I didn't even talk to my neighbours. I don't think I even knew what they looked like.
"C'mon luv," Spike wiggled his eyebrows and grinned. "Live fast for a change. Let yourself turn to the Dark Side."
I had to laugh. But I said no anyway. There wasn't much in this town that kept me here. A tiny little part of me may have been glad that Spike was leaving – one less complication for me to deal with. I want the quiet life. I guess the worst thing you could curse an enemy with would be the wish he lead an interesting and exciting life. Boring is a lot safer.
"I hope you find what you're looking for, Spike," I said as I stood and picked up my bag. "And I hope she's ready for it."
I didn't say goodbye. I just turned and left. At the door, I looked back. He was already gone.
I woke with a headache. Bad sleep did that to me. The dreams had kept me tossing and turning and waking all night. For a few minutes, I lay in bed staring at the ceiling. Trying to summon the will to get up.
Spike had gone. I knew he would be before I saw the empty couch, blankets flung on the floor. He never cleaned up after himself. I spent the morning doing all those boring necessities around the place and it wasn't till just after lunch that the phone rang.
"Up for a drink tonight?" Spike asked cheerfully when I answered.
"Not particularly," I replied. I was tired and grumpy from lack of sleep.
"Did you deliberately set out to lead a boring life? Or was it lack of a personality that did it?"
"No, it was getting involved with an ex-vampire whose brain had withered from overdose of peroxide that did it."
"She bites!" Spike laughed. "You need a few tipples luv. Loosen up that stick-up-the-arse attitude you got. C'mon, let's get loose and full o' juice tonight."
I sighed. He wasn't going to shut up until I agreed to meet him. When Spike wanted something, he would wheedle and whine and complain until you gave in just to get him off your back. The worst thing was that he had a certain charm to him. I don't know what it was – he wasn't the best-looking thing I've ever seen. Yeah, okay, so those damn cheekbones could slice day old bread; but he was too skinny and rangy. Nothing worse than a guy's hipbones digging into you during those 'intimate' moments. I think Spike's charm was a combination of his accent and his bad boy aura. Let's face it, all us females were a sucker for a bad boy. Probably our maternal instinct kicking in. We thought we could save them, be the one woman that tames them. Of course, as you get older and you realize that the bad boys are the ones that treat you like shit, you get wiser. You just want the ones that only look like bad boys, not act like them. In the end, I agreed to meet him for drinks. I had nothing else planned anyhow. Just another night in, playing 'The Sims' on my computer. God, I could be such a geek sometimes.
When I arrived at the bar, I was surprised at Spike's choice. It actually looked halfway decent. I had had visions of some fleapit, where you had to bring your own immunization kit. But 'Lagoon' was clean, smelt nice and was almost full. Spike seemed to favour those dim mostly empty bars where the only time someone looked at you was to gauge where the best place on your face was to plant their fist.
He was sitting at a table in the corner, back to the wall. Some of his predatory instincts hadn't left him. He still checked out a room when he walked in, still judged up potential victims.
I stopped at the bar to get my drink and was served by a clean-cut young guy who actually smiled at me. Was Spike getting his act together after all? Changing his lifestyle? Next thing he'd be telling me was he actually got a job. I shook my head as I walked over to him. Nah. Never happen. He had never worked a day in his life, even way back when he was human.
"Nice place," I said as I sat opposite Spike. "What happened? Lose your way?"
He grinned.
"Nah," he replied. "This is about the only place I haven't been banned from in the entire bloody city."
I laughed. I could believe it.
"So what's on?" I asked. "We just drinking? Or have you got more surprises planned for me?"
Spike lost his grin. He looked down into his drink and went quiet.
"What? What's happened?" I said. This didn't look good.
"I'm going after her, Serrie," he didn't look up at me.
"Who?" I was confused. Then it hit me. He was going to find Buffy. I sat back in my chair.
"I see," I said.
"You don't think it's a good idea?" Spike asked, eyebrows raised. "After all those times you told me to do it, now you don't bloody think I should?"
"Actually, I think you should," I replied, coolly. "But I doubt you'll find her in some bar, Spike. Sure you can handle it?"
"Bitch," he muttered.
"Whatever," I shrugged.
We were both silent. I sipped my drink and looked around the room. I hadn't meant to be so catty. I should have been grateful that he was finally getting off his arse and doing something. I wasn't sure how I felt. Relief that he was finally doing something about it, instead of just complaining and moaning and spending his days soused in booze? Or grief because he was going out of my life? Or maybe fear. Fear that he would find her dead and things would get worse. What if she didn't want to know him? Spike had told me things, horrible things that he had done to her and the Scoobies. Despite working with them for that last year, what if Buffy didn't want to see him? He had confided in me once that he knew she didn't love him like he loved her. What if she was with someone?
"Well, I'm going. Tomorrow," Spike said.
"Where are you going to go first?"
"I guess I better look up the Nancy Boy," Spike grinned. "That'll be fun."
I started to laugh. I had never met Angel. I had only glimpsed him once at The Bronze back in Sunnydale. Heard lots about him though. All from Spike, so you can guess it wasn't all complimentary. Wouldn't mind being a fly on the wall for that meeting.
"If anyone knows where she'll be, he will," Spike continued.
"And then what?" I asked. "You just going to rock up to her and say 'hi honey, I'm home'?"
He shrugged.
"I'll work it out when it happens," he replied and picked up his glass.
I watched him as he drank. He could be a right bastard sometimes, but I didn't want to see Spike hurt.
"She thinks you're dead, Spike," I said quietly.
"And won't she be gobsmacked when she sees I ain't?" he was trying to smile but wasn't too successful.
"Well. Good luck and all that. Hope you get what you want," I swallowed the rest of my drink.
"So, you comin'?" he asked. "Huh?" I stared at him.
"Are you coming with me or what?" he said again. This time he was smiling. Grinning actually. The little bastard loved to shock me. "We'll do that great yank tradition – the road trip. Cruise about, visit all those tacky tourist places, pick up birds..oh well, I'll pick up the birds."
A road trip? With Spike? Yeah right. Bar brawls in every tiny little hick town. With the way Spike shoots off that big mouth of his, we'd probably get stomped by every cowboy and white trash good ol' boy in seven states. Besides, I watch the movies. I know what those small town southern sheriffs do to out-of-staters. Happens every time. Run out of gas or the car breaks down and you have to spend a couple of days in Stephen King territory waiting for parts, and before you know it, the kindly ol' sheriff has designs on turning you or making you part of dinner for his town of freaks. No thanks.
"I can't leave," I said. "I have...stuff to do here."
"What? That job of yours? Yeah, real big responsibilities there all right. Oh and of course, your social life. Such a party goer. All your friends would just die if Serrie went out of town. Can't have that, can we? Nope, this town would be shot right to hell if good ol' Serendipity left for a while."
"Fuck you," I said and he laughed. He was right. Who would miss me? Eight years ago I had cut everyone I ever knew right out of my life. I didn't go out. With a shock, I suddenly realized that the only person I could call 'friend' was Spike. He was the only person I knew. The people I worked with, I kept at a distance. In fact, I knew nothing about their lives outside of the bookstore. I would go to work, come home, sleep, get up and go to work. That was my life. If I disappeared for a few weeks, would anyone even notice? I didn't even talk to my neighbours. I don't think I even knew what they looked like.
"C'mon luv," Spike wiggled his eyebrows and grinned. "Live fast for a change. Let yourself turn to the Dark Side."
I had to laugh. But I said no anyway. There wasn't much in this town that kept me here. A tiny little part of me may have been glad that Spike was leaving – one less complication for me to deal with. I want the quiet life. I guess the worst thing you could curse an enemy with would be the wish he lead an interesting and exciting life. Boring is a lot safer.
"I hope you find what you're looking for, Spike," I said as I stood and picked up my bag. "And I hope she's ready for it."
I didn't say goodbye. I just turned and left. At the door, I looked back. He was already gone.