Chapter #1
It was a glorious day in the cul-de-sac, birds singing, the wind was just right; Nazz was taking a nap on her hammock, Ed was fling thought the air. Yeah, everything is normal here. Then the mailman came. He had a package for DD. Being the idiotic as*, Eddy thinks it's fan mail from those imaginary hookers. "Give me my mail! I know you want those girls but you're too immature, so there! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!" "Eddy, those hookers will not be turned on to a guy who is a total and compete fu**er. Anyway it's my mail. So there. And besides, the only one who gets turned on by you would be the Kanker sisters." "DD, YOU ARE THE BIGGEST MOFO IN THE CUL-DE-SAC!!" "I was just kidding." "Oh. Uh, me too! So what did you get?" "A book of witchcraft." "WHY THE HECK WOULD YOU WANT ONE OF THOSE!?" "Eddy, I'm supposed to be a craft-user all this week. Remember Nazz called all of us to the lane to give us our career for Totally Random Career week?" "Oh yeah. I got Police Officer and Ed got human Cannon Ball. Sarah got camper, Rolf is a video game programmer, Kevin is a Telemarketer, Nazz is a hooker, Johnny is a lumberjack, and Jimmy is a fashion Designer." "Wow. What dumb careers. But Rolf is the luckiest. Do you like your career, DD?" "I might like it. You Know that I have to do this, right?" "Yeah. You know, I think I'm going to go hire Nazz for a 2-hour rumble." "your such a Prev." DD had to go in his basement so he could work with the spookiness of the lower basement. Lets see, he has to do so many things he lost track of time. Now lets go to Eddy.......(every bit is important. You'll see why) Eddy run over to Nazz to get 'the works', but then he remembered he was an officer, so he put her under arrest. She got the drift and she said," Well, what did I do?" "You are a hooker and hookers are..... just follow me." He took her to his room and Nazz said," It's free for you because I've always loved you. So what time is it?" (Eddy looks at his watch)"12:30" "Then it's time to get laid Eddy" "Ah...." "OH!" Well, before I get into this, Let us see what Ed was doing.
Ed was reloading his cannon when his new cell phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Hi. Would you be interested in buying a safety net for those 100 feet drops?"
"Yes I would. How much money?"
"50 cents and we can deliver it right away."
"Ok see you then." "Goodbye."
Boring, right? Well, DD is finally preparing for a spell that makes a person tell the truth. He decided that since Eddy wanted Nazz to have sex with him then he would try it on him. So he got it ready. It took him all night but he finished it.
It was a glorious day in the cul-de-sac, birds singing, the wind was just right; Nazz was taking a nap on her hammock, Ed was fling thought the air. Yeah, everything is normal here. Then the mailman came. He had a package for DD. Being the idiotic as*, Eddy thinks it's fan mail from those imaginary hookers. "Give me my mail! I know you want those girls but you're too immature, so there! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!" "Eddy, those hookers will not be turned on to a guy who is a total and compete fu**er. Anyway it's my mail. So there. And besides, the only one who gets turned on by you would be the Kanker sisters." "DD, YOU ARE THE BIGGEST MOFO IN THE CUL-DE-SAC!!" "I was just kidding." "Oh. Uh, me too! So what did you get?" "A book of witchcraft." "WHY THE HECK WOULD YOU WANT ONE OF THOSE!?" "Eddy, I'm supposed to be a craft-user all this week. Remember Nazz called all of us to the lane to give us our career for Totally Random Career week?" "Oh yeah. I got Police Officer and Ed got human Cannon Ball. Sarah got camper, Rolf is a video game programmer, Kevin is a Telemarketer, Nazz is a hooker, Johnny is a lumberjack, and Jimmy is a fashion Designer." "Wow. What dumb careers. But Rolf is the luckiest. Do you like your career, DD?" "I might like it. You Know that I have to do this, right?" "Yeah. You know, I think I'm going to go hire Nazz for a 2-hour rumble." "your such a Prev." DD had to go in his basement so he could work with the spookiness of the lower basement. Lets see, he has to do so many things he lost track of time. Now lets go to Eddy.......(every bit is important. You'll see why) Eddy run over to Nazz to get 'the works', but then he remembered he was an officer, so he put her under arrest. She got the drift and she said," Well, what did I do?" "You are a hooker and hookers are..... just follow me." He took her to his room and Nazz said," It's free for you because I've always loved you. So what time is it?" (Eddy looks at his watch)"12:30" "Then it's time to get laid Eddy" "Ah...." "OH!" Well, before I get into this, Let us see what Ed was doing.
Ed was reloading his cannon when his new cell phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Hi. Would you be interested in buying a safety net for those 100 feet drops?"
"Yes I would. How much money?"
"50 cents and we can deliver it right away."
"Ok see you then." "Goodbye."
Boring, right? Well, DD is finally preparing for a spell that makes a person tell the truth. He decided that since Eddy wanted Nazz to have sex with him then he would try it on him. So he got it ready. It took him all night but he finished it.