PART SIX
...IT LIVES!!!!!!!...Eh, who cares? I'm too tired to be maniacal today...Our show today involves graphic use of genies, Zelda: Ocarina of Time, and poor, poor Link...
Ferio was walking down the street, playing another Zelda Game boy game. It was Oracle of Seasons. Now, I prefer Oracle of Ages, cuz its just more fun and I got Moosh the bear and-
Chibi Clef pops up, "On with it!!"
...Anyway, Ferio found a bottle with swirling gold smoke in it. Well, rather, he tripped over it 'cuz he was so absorbed in his game. And it WAS a bottle until his body smashed it.
And guess what the smoke was! ...Oh, come on! Guess! ...Please? ...Fine! Jerks!
It was a big, gigantic, impressively awesome thing beyond all imagining! ...Yep, a floating Pikachu doll genie!
Ascot chibi appears briefly. "Horrors!!"
...Ahem...It was a PikaGenie. The great, awe-inspiring beast roared in a deep, throaty voice, "Pika!!" It cleared its throat, "I am the almighty PikaGenie. I will grant you and two of your loved ones one wish each."
Ferio blinked. "Can't I just use all three?"
It blinked back. "No."
"But, you're a doll. Granted, a big doll. Okay, a huge doll. But, what kind of powerful genie takes the form of a corporate product whose popularity has gone down?"
The genie turned into a red, fiery, satanic beast. "Do you want a wish or not?!" It bellowed. Ferio cringed.
"Okay." ...Ferio thought long and hard. "I want me and my friends to be in my Zelda game!"
The PikaGenie, now red fiery and satanic raised an eyebrow. "Which one?"
Ferio again thought for a while before he developed the brilliant number...."The sixth one!"
As the green haired prince had become more than just irritating the PikaGenie was getting tired of his stupidity. "There are currently only two Zelda games...So one or two?"
"One...or two...one....or two..." Ferio pondered this answer for a good long time, seven hours to be exact before, "One...or three....wait...darn now I have to start all over."
The PikaGenie hearing this bursts into bright blue flames with stress marks dancing above his head. A Chibi Dilandau sneaks onto the screen behind the PikaGenie and begins to stare in awe at the blue flames.
Ferio notices this strange boy before anyone else, "You're not from Rayearth!" The green haired boy proceeds to kick the silver haired boy off screen. Flames soon envelop Ferio and the camera cuts to Dilandau who has is arms crossed over each other pointing and Geo and Eagle while whistling and staring at some lint.
The PikaGenie glares at Ferio and hisses at him "Just Chose."
Ferio looks at the PikaGenie and simply says, "Uh...Can I use a life line?"
"Make your wish now or have no wish at all!" The PikaGenie screams forcing Ferio to squeak out the words: Ocarina of Time. Then the horror began
An explosion goes off as Ferio makes his wish distracting the PikaGenie. All the sudden Batman stands up from behind a pile of metal pipes. Robin runs over to Batman, "Gee-golly-willickers Batman I thought you were dead for sure."
"Its okay Robin, these heavy metal pipes saved me." Batman said patting the heavy pipes that lay next to him.
As it regained concentration after seeing Gothem's favorite hero the PikaGenie groaned. "Very well." The magical copyrighted satanic crimson beast waved its tiny paw about. Glittery crimson dust flowed in like a rolling fog.
Coughing was soon heard. The mist lifted to reveal one of Nintendo's greatest creations...*cough**cough* you had better know who I mean. *...Link!
The blond boy looked around frantically. He dug around in his tunic and pulled out the ocarina, sighing in relief. Link looked up at Ferio and promptly screamed in horror. "Not you! Please oh please let it be a nightmare!"
Ferio's amber eyes lit up. "Link! It's you!"
The seventeen year old Hero of Time started to back away, clutching his ocarina. "No! No more game overs! Don't touch the controller! No buttons! I dun' wanna die!!" Link turned to run away, slamming into PikaGenie.
The fiery, sardonic PikaGenie laughed-- or it could be considered laughter. "No, no blondie. This green haired idiot wishes to replace you with his equally foolish friends. They must be foolish- they're his friends."
Link's eyes lit up. "I get a break?! Really?!" *grins like an idiot and jumps* "Woohoo!"
Ferio sniffled. "You called me an idiot."
The PikaGenie shrugged and waved his paw around. *screen is dominated once more by red smoke*Coughing Link* Twelve of Ferio's friends appear and the fog clears*
Link *jaw drops/drool/ hearts floating around* "It's you!!!!" *glomps the only girl who can beat any and all Zelda games with flying colors and NOT use a guide book* "I LOVE you!!"
Angel sweat drops. Eagle glares. Zazu giggles. Raven takes photos. Hikaru blinks in confusion. Miki click the stopwatch incessantly. Geo stops Miki from clicking the stopwatch incessantly. Lantis picks flowers. Nova screams about killing squirrels. Jade whines about how she beat Zelda, too--even is she did have 147 gameovers--. Umi points out that that guy is in a tunic and hugging Angel for some reason. Ascot whines and readjusts his lens/
"Enough!" PikaGenie screams, sending the group to Hyrule and taping Link to a couch.
Link pouts. "Jerk!"
.........
"...Zazu...I've got a hookshot!" Angel announces triumphantly. Angel and Zazu are both wearing green now. Angel has black pants and a green halter top styled as a sleeveless blouse as well as leather gloves and boots. Zazu's wearing...the usual. "Yaay! A sword, too! ...Wow! It's Links Master Sword!" Looks up, "Thanks, Link!"
Out on a couch, Link blushes and mutters something that the tape on his mouth makes inaudible. Angel blinks a few times. "What did he say?"
Zazu stands up and dusts himself off. "I think he said, 'You have a Bubblegum Crisis OVA character attached to your left leg.'"
Angel looks down, sees Maki Stingray, and groans. "Why do these men like me? I'm a trigger happy, sword-toting, smart girl, who hates math." ...men shouldn't like Angel...or women.
"You're a product of public education, all right... In short, I have no clue why." Zazu answers.
Maki's icy blue eyes look up at Angel. He smiles congenially and pulls a paper out of his pocket, holding it up to Angel. "It says you go to the Forest Temple... If it helps, I'm not a human male, I'm a boomer.... A cyborg designed to learn and grow. I am very much like a human; I even eat sleep, and think for myself."
Angel sweat drops and pats him on the head. "Thanks. Bye." *Maki pouts* "...What???"
"Can I stay with you?" Maki asks, giving her the puppy dog look. "You're warm and nice."
Angel nods. "Just do me a favor. Leg off."
*They trek into the temple. Two wolfos pop up* the wolfoses slash as Zazu and miss by a head, cuz he's so short. Angel charges in, with a mad battle cry and swinging the sword about. The two wolfo's take one look at Angel, scream 'not her! Waah!!!!!!!" and run away.
They run into a giant skulltula. It attacks Zazu and misses. It sees Angel and flees for dear life.
Angel whines. "Oh come on! I've had to use fairies before! I'm not perfect!"
"This place is so dull." Zazu complains.
They pass through another door and find themselves in the main room of the temple. An elevator stands in the middle of the room, on a square raised platform. There is a different colored torch at each end of the square- on red, one blue, one green, and one purple.
Zazu sings merrily, "Dos, two beers I'd like two Beers, Ray, The guy behind the Bar, Me, a guy I buy beer for, Fa, a long long way for beer! So, I'd like another beer, La, la la la la la la, Tea, I'd rather have some Beer! And that will bring us back to Dos, os os os, Dos." He continues this until Maki claps his hand over Zazu's mouth.
"Shhh..."
They step into the room and four differently colored ghosts appear, each holding its coordinated torch. The four ghosts fly up to the group and blow raspberries at them, with mechanical precision, Maki whips out some bottles and snatched each one, "Ooh, shiny colors..." Maki stares at the glowing bottles.
"Good, good! We're making excellent time! Now we just need the boss key and then we-" Angel was cut off.
"-That'll be, um...fifty rupees!" *sound of gems chinking* "Thank you! Enjoy your glow bottle!" Maki waves as some plant thing hobbles off with the green ghost in a bottle.
"Maki!" Zazu shouts "We may have possibly needed that!" Zazu starts to vent, waving a ratchet around...
"Fifty rupees, please." Maki smiles and hands the blue ghost to a Gerudo thief with gold eyes, red hair, and a red desert outfit. "Have a good day!"
"Stupid robot! Quit it!!" Zazu waves the ratchet violently.
Angel sits by a torch and speaks to a wolfos..."You see, I'm not really THAT good at the game...It's kinda a sixth sense, y'know. But, but I see where the confusion could be. I know I've got a Slayer's ring for all the monsters I've killed, but you learn from the mistakes of others. You stand a fighting chance. I've played the game a lot. That's all. So go out there and be the best darn evil creature you can be!" Pep talk over, the wolfos slobbers all over her face and scampers off.
"...well, I like your face, so...forty rupees." Zazu face faults as Maki makes another transition, selling the red ghost in a bottle. A tall fish man strides away.
"Darn you, you...you...machine!! I never thought there would be a machine I hated, but you proved me wrong!"
"Come on, on you two! Let's use the elevator!" Angel chimes, jumping up and down. "Then, we'll beat the boss!"
"That comes to...fifty rupees...Thank you. Bye!" Zazu hyperventilates as Maki sells the purple poe to Gannondorf (Villain. Current King of Evil) and the black clad man skips merrily off.
"Didyouseewhathejustdid?!??!!?!?!?!?!?!!!" Zazu screams, whacking Maki with a wrench. "Stupidstupidstupid!"
Maki falls to the floor. The boss, Phantom Gannon, rises out of the floor. "Bwahahaha! Fear me!!"
Zazu *still tantruming* "Darn you, you stupid thing!" Zazu thunks Phantom Gannon with the wrench.
Phantom Gannon falls to the floor, "Waah! You're mean!" ...It dissolves...
Angel whines, "That was no fun!" Changes moods. "But, we've got money! Lots o' money!"
.........
.....Fire Temple....Oooh no..........
Eagle steps to the bridge and a wall of fire shoots up, nearly lighting him a flame. "Waah!" He jumps back, stunned.
Dilandau *hanging from a stalactite* "I so did not do that!!"
Eagle glares up at him, "You stupid transvestite!!"
Ferio taps him on the shoulder. "Don't tease the animals!"
Dilandau growls and disappears in some odd fashion.
...After a while of Eagle getting pinned to walls and Ferio screwing up the ocarina songs, they reach the home of the red dragon.
It rises out of the lava, roaring as it flies.
Dilandau pops up again. "Care for some tea?"
"..Nope." Ferio replies, shaking his head.
"Sure!" Eagle takes a saucer. "Ooh , I love chamomile."
"Sugar?"
"Please."
"Waaahh!! It's gonna get us!!" Ferio ducked... Nothing happened. He looked up a find... a midget.
"I'll handle this." The boy with strange hair and a pyramid-shaped necklace grinned and pulled out a card. "Time to duel!" ...Re-mixed theme music plays..
"Who are you?!" Ferio demands.
"I'm Yugi."
More theme music...
"Stop that!" Ferio screams. The music stops.
Yugi pulls out a card. "I will use... pesky weeds!"
The dragon crashes down, wrapped in vines.
Eagle and Ferio grab the fire medallion and scamper off.
"Come back, darn you!!" Yam calls, chasing them.
.........
And now, the Water Temple. I fear for Links world.
"Ouch...Ouch!...Goddarnit! [censored]ing ceiling!!! When will they build a temple suitable for the monstrously tall?!" Geo wails as he repeatedly slams into the ceiling and halls and walls and paths and overhangs and platforms and-
"Shaddup!!! You beastle writers are insufferable!!" Miki scream his face reddens in embarrassment.
*sound of crickets chirping and Geo swearing*
Hikaru, who was, until recently, preoccupied, "*gasp* Miki, I've misjudged you!!"
Geo, "Bloody hell, don't use his lines against him!"
"You're not British!"
"Well, duh..ouch!"
Suddenly, a huge spider-crab pops up and attacks.
"Flamearrow! Hiyaah!" Hikaru calls, sending her magical attack into the water. The water bubbles. Hikaru tried repeatedly with no result. This continues for some hours, all the while, Hikaru fails to realize she's making a sauna.
"Finally, the mini-boss, too bored and impatient to tolerate it, suddenly appears. Hikaru draws her sword and they battle. After five minutes, Hikaru is bleeding severely, ShadowLink laughs
"Oh no, the red-hair girl!" Geo cries.
Hikaru, with her last ounce of strength, kick him in the...you'll figure it out.
"Ow! Jerk! You're almost as bad as Link himself!" ShadowLink wails, crying.
"Whudda ya mean?" Geo asks, munching some m&m's.
"Well-well-well...he kicks me and beasts me and calls.me.mean.names! He's so abusive! Heroes aren't always the best, you know. He's soo cruel and malignant. Nobody knows what it's like."
Miki clicks his stopwatch at this dramatic moment. It is 6:66...isn't that a lucky number or something? "Poor fellow... Please continue." Miki gestures toward a burgundy couch. ShadowLink sits down on the mysterious appearance couch and Miki pulls up a wooden chair from somewhere.
ShadowLink sniffs. "He hits me with hammers and lights me on fire and-"
"-Hold that thought." Miki says, looking at Dilandau, who conveniently appears out of nowhere.
"I DIDN'T do THAT, either! Stop blaming me!!!!!" Dilandau yells, storming off.
Miki turns back to ShadowLink. "Don't worry... I know about this great therapist who will help you and rebuild your emotional health." *hands SL a card*
"Thanks." ShadowLink bows and walks off.
The Boss, now infuriated by this crap, rises out of the water. Music plays...
Miki clicks his stopwatch to the music. The monster wails, beating itself against a wall. Clickclickclick.... Clickyclickclickclick.. clickaclicka-clickclick... clickclickclickclick-click....Okay, we're getting WAY too into this....The beast screamed and spontaneously combusted. A fish woman runs in and jumps into Miki's arms, "My hero!"
Geo gaped. "That's not natural."
..........
...Yeah, well, we'll sum it up. Screw the Desert Colossus. The shadow temple... Lantis ran into the dark screaming. Jade and the boss opened a café where they play bongos and compose/recite poetry. Nova recognized some of her old *friends* among the zombies. Jade also has a T.V. show: Redead Aerobics...Oh, and Raven and Ascot sold Umi for some beef jerky. Angel wished for a candy bar and, thankfully, Raven wished ....to own Yugi?! What the froop?! Eventually, the PikaGenie got bored and returned them and put Link back in his game...where he had to 'settle up' with a now- assertive shadow.
...And life returned to normal. or the closest thing to normal for us freaks!... Until one day...
Zazu comes running in, "I sold Eagle for two beads!" everyone give him the look. "Oh! I sold Eagle for two beads!" runs around in little circles.
Angel, "I want one of those. He was my property."
Randi, "Hahahaha! My revenge it....I end this story! Ha!"
___________________
Thank you for those of you who stuck with us all the way through. That was the end. Sorry I took so long. Stay tuned for our next comedy "Escaflowne....We Are Sooo Doomed"
Thank you
...IT LIVES!!!!!!!...Eh, who cares? I'm too tired to be maniacal today...Our show today involves graphic use of genies, Zelda: Ocarina of Time, and poor, poor Link...
Ferio was walking down the street, playing another Zelda Game boy game. It was Oracle of Seasons. Now, I prefer Oracle of Ages, cuz its just more fun and I got Moosh the bear and-
Chibi Clef pops up, "On with it!!"
...Anyway, Ferio found a bottle with swirling gold smoke in it. Well, rather, he tripped over it 'cuz he was so absorbed in his game. And it WAS a bottle until his body smashed it.
And guess what the smoke was! ...Oh, come on! Guess! ...Please? ...Fine! Jerks!
It was a big, gigantic, impressively awesome thing beyond all imagining! ...Yep, a floating Pikachu doll genie!
Ascot chibi appears briefly. "Horrors!!"
...Ahem...It was a PikaGenie. The great, awe-inspiring beast roared in a deep, throaty voice, "Pika!!" It cleared its throat, "I am the almighty PikaGenie. I will grant you and two of your loved ones one wish each."
Ferio blinked. "Can't I just use all three?"
It blinked back. "No."
"But, you're a doll. Granted, a big doll. Okay, a huge doll. But, what kind of powerful genie takes the form of a corporate product whose popularity has gone down?"
The genie turned into a red, fiery, satanic beast. "Do you want a wish or not?!" It bellowed. Ferio cringed.
"Okay." ...Ferio thought long and hard. "I want me and my friends to be in my Zelda game!"
The PikaGenie, now red fiery and satanic raised an eyebrow. "Which one?"
Ferio again thought for a while before he developed the brilliant number...."The sixth one!"
As the green haired prince had become more than just irritating the PikaGenie was getting tired of his stupidity. "There are currently only two Zelda games...So one or two?"
"One...or two...one....or two..." Ferio pondered this answer for a good long time, seven hours to be exact before, "One...or three....wait...darn now I have to start all over."
The PikaGenie hearing this bursts into bright blue flames with stress marks dancing above his head. A Chibi Dilandau sneaks onto the screen behind the PikaGenie and begins to stare in awe at the blue flames.
Ferio notices this strange boy before anyone else, "You're not from Rayearth!" The green haired boy proceeds to kick the silver haired boy off screen. Flames soon envelop Ferio and the camera cuts to Dilandau who has is arms crossed over each other pointing and Geo and Eagle while whistling and staring at some lint.
The PikaGenie glares at Ferio and hisses at him "Just Chose."
Ferio looks at the PikaGenie and simply says, "Uh...Can I use a life line?"
"Make your wish now or have no wish at all!" The PikaGenie screams forcing Ferio to squeak out the words: Ocarina of Time. Then the horror began
An explosion goes off as Ferio makes his wish distracting the PikaGenie. All the sudden Batman stands up from behind a pile of metal pipes. Robin runs over to Batman, "Gee-golly-willickers Batman I thought you were dead for sure."
"Its okay Robin, these heavy metal pipes saved me." Batman said patting the heavy pipes that lay next to him.
As it regained concentration after seeing Gothem's favorite hero the PikaGenie groaned. "Very well." The magical copyrighted satanic crimson beast waved its tiny paw about. Glittery crimson dust flowed in like a rolling fog.
Coughing was soon heard. The mist lifted to reveal one of Nintendo's greatest creations...*cough**cough* you had better know who I mean. *...Link!
The blond boy looked around frantically. He dug around in his tunic and pulled out the ocarina, sighing in relief. Link looked up at Ferio and promptly screamed in horror. "Not you! Please oh please let it be a nightmare!"
Ferio's amber eyes lit up. "Link! It's you!"
The seventeen year old Hero of Time started to back away, clutching his ocarina. "No! No more game overs! Don't touch the controller! No buttons! I dun' wanna die!!" Link turned to run away, slamming into PikaGenie.
The fiery, sardonic PikaGenie laughed-- or it could be considered laughter. "No, no blondie. This green haired idiot wishes to replace you with his equally foolish friends. They must be foolish- they're his friends."
Link's eyes lit up. "I get a break?! Really?!" *grins like an idiot and jumps* "Woohoo!"
Ferio sniffled. "You called me an idiot."
The PikaGenie shrugged and waved his paw around. *screen is dominated once more by red smoke*Coughing Link* Twelve of Ferio's friends appear and the fog clears*
Link *jaw drops/drool/ hearts floating around* "It's you!!!!" *glomps the only girl who can beat any and all Zelda games with flying colors and NOT use a guide book* "I LOVE you!!"
Angel sweat drops. Eagle glares. Zazu giggles. Raven takes photos. Hikaru blinks in confusion. Miki click the stopwatch incessantly. Geo stops Miki from clicking the stopwatch incessantly. Lantis picks flowers. Nova screams about killing squirrels. Jade whines about how she beat Zelda, too--even is she did have 147 gameovers--. Umi points out that that guy is in a tunic and hugging Angel for some reason. Ascot whines and readjusts his lens/
"Enough!" PikaGenie screams, sending the group to Hyrule and taping Link to a couch.
Link pouts. "Jerk!"
.........
"...Zazu...I've got a hookshot!" Angel announces triumphantly. Angel and Zazu are both wearing green now. Angel has black pants and a green halter top styled as a sleeveless blouse as well as leather gloves and boots. Zazu's wearing...the usual. "Yaay! A sword, too! ...Wow! It's Links Master Sword!" Looks up, "Thanks, Link!"
Out on a couch, Link blushes and mutters something that the tape on his mouth makes inaudible. Angel blinks a few times. "What did he say?"
Zazu stands up and dusts himself off. "I think he said, 'You have a Bubblegum Crisis OVA character attached to your left leg.'"
Angel looks down, sees Maki Stingray, and groans. "Why do these men like me? I'm a trigger happy, sword-toting, smart girl, who hates math." ...men shouldn't like Angel...or women.
"You're a product of public education, all right... In short, I have no clue why." Zazu answers.
Maki's icy blue eyes look up at Angel. He smiles congenially and pulls a paper out of his pocket, holding it up to Angel. "It says you go to the Forest Temple... If it helps, I'm not a human male, I'm a boomer.... A cyborg designed to learn and grow. I am very much like a human; I even eat sleep, and think for myself."
Angel sweat drops and pats him on the head. "Thanks. Bye." *Maki pouts* "...What???"
"Can I stay with you?" Maki asks, giving her the puppy dog look. "You're warm and nice."
Angel nods. "Just do me a favor. Leg off."
*They trek into the temple. Two wolfos pop up* the wolfoses slash as Zazu and miss by a head, cuz he's so short. Angel charges in, with a mad battle cry and swinging the sword about. The two wolfo's take one look at Angel, scream 'not her! Waah!!!!!!!" and run away.
They run into a giant skulltula. It attacks Zazu and misses. It sees Angel and flees for dear life.
Angel whines. "Oh come on! I've had to use fairies before! I'm not perfect!"
"This place is so dull." Zazu complains.
They pass through another door and find themselves in the main room of the temple. An elevator stands in the middle of the room, on a square raised platform. There is a different colored torch at each end of the square- on red, one blue, one green, and one purple.
Zazu sings merrily, "Dos, two beers I'd like two Beers, Ray, The guy behind the Bar, Me, a guy I buy beer for, Fa, a long long way for beer! So, I'd like another beer, La, la la la la la la, Tea, I'd rather have some Beer! And that will bring us back to Dos, os os os, Dos." He continues this until Maki claps his hand over Zazu's mouth.
"Shhh..."
They step into the room and four differently colored ghosts appear, each holding its coordinated torch. The four ghosts fly up to the group and blow raspberries at them, with mechanical precision, Maki whips out some bottles and snatched each one, "Ooh, shiny colors..." Maki stares at the glowing bottles.
"Good, good! We're making excellent time! Now we just need the boss key and then we-" Angel was cut off.
"-That'll be, um...fifty rupees!" *sound of gems chinking* "Thank you! Enjoy your glow bottle!" Maki waves as some plant thing hobbles off with the green ghost in a bottle.
"Maki!" Zazu shouts "We may have possibly needed that!" Zazu starts to vent, waving a ratchet around...
"Fifty rupees, please." Maki smiles and hands the blue ghost to a Gerudo thief with gold eyes, red hair, and a red desert outfit. "Have a good day!"
"Stupid robot! Quit it!!" Zazu waves the ratchet violently.
Angel sits by a torch and speaks to a wolfos..."You see, I'm not really THAT good at the game...It's kinda a sixth sense, y'know. But, but I see where the confusion could be. I know I've got a Slayer's ring for all the monsters I've killed, but you learn from the mistakes of others. You stand a fighting chance. I've played the game a lot. That's all. So go out there and be the best darn evil creature you can be!" Pep talk over, the wolfos slobbers all over her face and scampers off.
"...well, I like your face, so...forty rupees." Zazu face faults as Maki makes another transition, selling the red ghost in a bottle. A tall fish man strides away.
"Darn you, you...you...machine!! I never thought there would be a machine I hated, but you proved me wrong!"
"Come on, on you two! Let's use the elevator!" Angel chimes, jumping up and down. "Then, we'll beat the boss!"
"That comes to...fifty rupees...Thank you. Bye!" Zazu hyperventilates as Maki sells the purple poe to Gannondorf (Villain. Current King of Evil) and the black clad man skips merrily off.
"Didyouseewhathejustdid?!??!!?!?!?!?!?!!!" Zazu screams, whacking Maki with a wrench. "Stupidstupidstupid!"
Maki falls to the floor. The boss, Phantom Gannon, rises out of the floor. "Bwahahaha! Fear me!!"
Zazu *still tantruming* "Darn you, you stupid thing!" Zazu thunks Phantom Gannon with the wrench.
Phantom Gannon falls to the floor, "Waah! You're mean!" ...It dissolves...
Angel whines, "That was no fun!" Changes moods. "But, we've got money! Lots o' money!"
.........
.....Fire Temple....Oooh no..........
Eagle steps to the bridge and a wall of fire shoots up, nearly lighting him a flame. "Waah!" He jumps back, stunned.
Dilandau *hanging from a stalactite* "I so did not do that!!"
Eagle glares up at him, "You stupid transvestite!!"
Ferio taps him on the shoulder. "Don't tease the animals!"
Dilandau growls and disappears in some odd fashion.
...After a while of Eagle getting pinned to walls and Ferio screwing up the ocarina songs, they reach the home of the red dragon.
It rises out of the lava, roaring as it flies.
Dilandau pops up again. "Care for some tea?"
"..Nope." Ferio replies, shaking his head.
"Sure!" Eagle takes a saucer. "Ooh , I love chamomile."
"Sugar?"
"Please."
"Waaahh!! It's gonna get us!!" Ferio ducked... Nothing happened. He looked up a find... a midget.
"I'll handle this." The boy with strange hair and a pyramid-shaped necklace grinned and pulled out a card. "Time to duel!" ...Re-mixed theme music plays..
"Who are you?!" Ferio demands.
"I'm Yugi."
More theme music...
"Stop that!" Ferio screams. The music stops.
Yugi pulls out a card. "I will use... pesky weeds!"
The dragon crashes down, wrapped in vines.
Eagle and Ferio grab the fire medallion and scamper off.
"Come back, darn you!!" Yam calls, chasing them.
.........
And now, the Water Temple. I fear for Links world.
"Ouch...Ouch!...Goddarnit! [censored]ing ceiling!!! When will they build a temple suitable for the monstrously tall?!" Geo wails as he repeatedly slams into the ceiling and halls and walls and paths and overhangs and platforms and-
"Shaddup!!! You beastle writers are insufferable!!" Miki scream his face reddens in embarrassment.
*sound of crickets chirping and Geo swearing*
Hikaru, who was, until recently, preoccupied, "*gasp* Miki, I've misjudged you!!"
Geo, "Bloody hell, don't use his lines against him!"
"You're not British!"
"Well, duh..ouch!"
Suddenly, a huge spider-crab pops up and attacks.
"Flamearrow! Hiyaah!" Hikaru calls, sending her magical attack into the water. The water bubbles. Hikaru tried repeatedly with no result. This continues for some hours, all the while, Hikaru fails to realize she's making a sauna.
"Finally, the mini-boss, too bored and impatient to tolerate it, suddenly appears. Hikaru draws her sword and they battle. After five minutes, Hikaru is bleeding severely, ShadowLink laughs
"Oh no, the red-hair girl!" Geo cries.
Hikaru, with her last ounce of strength, kick him in the...you'll figure it out.
"Ow! Jerk! You're almost as bad as Link himself!" ShadowLink wails, crying.
"Whudda ya mean?" Geo asks, munching some m&m's.
"Well-well-well...he kicks me and beasts me and calls.me.mean.names! He's so abusive! Heroes aren't always the best, you know. He's soo cruel and malignant. Nobody knows what it's like."
Miki clicks his stopwatch at this dramatic moment. It is 6:66...isn't that a lucky number or something? "Poor fellow... Please continue." Miki gestures toward a burgundy couch. ShadowLink sits down on the mysterious appearance couch and Miki pulls up a wooden chair from somewhere.
ShadowLink sniffs. "He hits me with hammers and lights me on fire and-"
"-Hold that thought." Miki says, looking at Dilandau, who conveniently appears out of nowhere.
"I DIDN'T do THAT, either! Stop blaming me!!!!!" Dilandau yells, storming off.
Miki turns back to ShadowLink. "Don't worry... I know about this great therapist who will help you and rebuild your emotional health." *hands SL a card*
"Thanks." ShadowLink bows and walks off.
The Boss, now infuriated by this crap, rises out of the water. Music plays...
Miki clicks his stopwatch to the music. The monster wails, beating itself against a wall. Clickclickclick.... Clickyclickclickclick.. clickaclicka-clickclick... clickclickclickclick-click....Okay, we're getting WAY too into this....The beast screamed and spontaneously combusted. A fish woman runs in and jumps into Miki's arms, "My hero!"
Geo gaped. "That's not natural."
..........
...Yeah, well, we'll sum it up. Screw the Desert Colossus. The shadow temple... Lantis ran into the dark screaming. Jade and the boss opened a café where they play bongos and compose/recite poetry. Nova recognized some of her old *friends* among the zombies. Jade also has a T.V. show: Redead Aerobics...Oh, and Raven and Ascot sold Umi for some beef jerky. Angel wished for a candy bar and, thankfully, Raven wished ....to own Yugi?! What the froop?! Eventually, the PikaGenie got bored and returned them and put Link back in his game...where he had to 'settle up' with a now- assertive shadow.
...And life returned to normal. or the closest thing to normal for us freaks!... Until one day...
Zazu comes running in, "I sold Eagle for two beads!" everyone give him the look. "Oh! I sold Eagle for two beads!" runs around in little circles.
Angel, "I want one of those. He was my property."
Randi, "Hahahaha! My revenge it....I end this story! Ha!"
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Thank you for those of you who stuck with us all the way through. That was the end. Sorry I took so long. Stay tuned for our next comedy "Escaflowne....We Are Sooo Doomed"
Thank you