Cipher's Wake

By Cypher

Prologue

"No...no, I won't go back! You can't seal me again!" Turning, Exodus unleashed a full psionic blast into Douglas' mind. "Tell me how to escape!"

Douglas' body jerked at the attack, but he made no other sounds. Instead, the information he had tried to hide burst forth, revealing his plan, what was happening, everything.

"No. No!" Exodus pounded his fist against the wall, feeling the rock crumble beneath it. Gritting his teeth, he glared back at the teen. "At least you won't be saved. Die, you miserable, pathetic mortal. I await you in the abyss."

Kitty...I love you...I'm so sorry...goodbye.

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I can't remember how long ago that was. When you're dead time doesn't really have much meaning. Though I still wonder if I AM dead. I mean, I haven't seen any great white light, nor have I met any men with pitchforks and horns. Hell, I haven't seen a damned thing since I closed my eyes in that collapsing temple. All that's been around me is darkness. Nothing but darkness.

Only it's not always like that. There are times when memories flash before me. Just recently one of Kitty and I on one of our dates appeared. I hadn't even noticed that I had ice cream on my nose. I wonder how long it sat there before Kitty finally noticed and wiped it away. I don't know since the memory cut out after she started laughing, but it was interesting. It was nice to see Kitty, too.

Kitty. Oh God how I wish I hadn't died, how I could run to her and say, "I'm not dead! It's all a mistake! And I love you and I'm never going to leave you again! Ever!" But it's not a mistake. I have left her. And I'm dead. Dead as a doornail. Where did that expression come from, anyway? Stiff as a board I get, but dead as a doornail? That implies the doornail was alive-

I'm getting sidetracked, I'm sorry. It's getting harder and harder to keep my focus. Sometimes I wonder if I'm only sorta dead, like this is a side effect of my mutation. You don't get it? Well, let me clear it up. It took me a while to figure it out too. See, since my mind isn't designed like a normal human, or mutant's, for that matter, the conscious and unconscious thought processes tend to overlap even while I'm awake. Now, assuming that when one is "dying" the unconscious mind reveals itself in its entirety, and that only a small percentage of my unconsciousness was ever overlapped with my consciousness, then it would take a long time for my "soul" to be processed through my unconscious mind before leaving.

Does that make sense? Not really. It sounds stupid when I explain it. Let me put it another way: I have a lot of extra neurons in my head, and because of that, the electrochemical impulses are far stronger than that of an average person's. That means that if I'm injured or knocked out, or I'm killed, and unless my head's crushed like a bug, the neurons will keep firing until they run out of juice. It's like having your head chopped off and still being able to see; which to be honest scares the crap outta me. You lose your head, and get to see your decapitated body right before your brain shuts down? Ugh.

Any who, I think I'm in some sort of mental limbo while my mind shuts down. How long will it take? No clue. For all I know I'm not mortally wounded and I've just been put in stasis like Exodus, and now I'm trapped here for eternity, or until my body runs out of nutrients and starves itself to death. I'm not like Exodus, I'm not immortal.

Exodus. He promised to await me in the abyss. Well, I don't think I'm there yet, but when I do get there I really hope he's not there. What I got from him alive was enough to torture me for many lifetimes. I'm hoping that when my mind shuts down and I go to...the next plain of existence, since I'm pretty sure there isn't a Heaven, I'll be able to forget about him and what he did to me.

I've never felt such pain in my life, the pain that ran through me when he tore my mind open and plundered and pillaged my memories. I must've been the best mental feast in the world. He kept pushing, and pushing...I get the feeling he could give Professor Xavier a run for his money. I should warn him--oh wait, I can't. I'm dead. Well, I'm pretty sure I'm dead.

You know, I had such hopes for myself, for Kitty, for us. I don't know if it would've lasted, but I dreamed it would. We'd graduate, go to the same college--Oxford, of course--start some sort of business and get married. We'd have two kids, maybe three. I always wanted two kids because being an only child is lonely. I should know. So should she, now that I think about it. We would ignore the whole mutant crisis crap. Neither of our powers are blatantly obvious, though our kids' might be due to the second generation curse. I don't know. We'd grow old, watch our kids grow up in a world that would come to respect and treat mutants as equals, and die knowing we made a small, but pivotal difference in this world.

And then I had to go and become obsessed with finding the temple of a God. Geeze, I'm an ass. Everything was perfect the way it was. Why'd I have to go and be...be me?! I guess because...it was me that Kitty fell in love with, and if I didn't I wouldn't be me anymore and she wouldn't love me. Then Kurt might actually have a shot.

Kurt. We had just made up and I'm taken away. I hope he's okay. I'm confident he made sure everyone escaped, but emotionally he must be kicking himself for our incommunication and how it ruined our relationship. At least I know he'll take care of the people I care about: Kitty and Jamie. And they'll take care of him. I may be gone but they'll support each other, help each other, until the wounds have healed.

Listen to me getting all philosophical and romantic. You'd never know I was lying under a ton of rubble with some form of computer crushing my chest. Wait, how do I know that? Logic, of course. I blew up the temple, I was lying by a computer console, and everything collapsed. Or maybe I'm alive? No. Even unconscious, my mind is very alert, and early in my life I realized I could sense my heartbeat, and control my biorhythms pretty well. I don't sense a heartbeat now. I don't even feel the need to pee or eat or scream...or breathe.

I guess...I really am dead. Wow...what a way to go. I killed myself saving everyone, maybe the world. That's a rather starting realization. But death...death isn't all fun and games, it isn't heaven and hell. It's...nothing. And nothing is a very scary concept, believe you me. It shouldn't be, but nothing is...nothing. At least every now and then memories flash, good memories, of my life, of my hopes, of my dreams.

I am a bit worried, though. In this nothing, this void, it seems that the doorway to my dreams has been left open for me to gaze upon. I can only hope that my nightmares are over, and I will never experience them again.

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Author's Prattle: Muwahahahaha! I'm back with an evil sequel! It took a while, but I've finally got it started! Some of you wanted more of the bad guys, and by golly, you're going to get what you want! However, NaNoWrMo is coming up, so I'll be busy for a month or so before the next update. Gomen gomen! But don't worry! This fic is much shorter.

Disclaimers: I don't own X-Men Evolution, Exodus, or Douglas. They all belong to Marvel. I simply use the characters to act out a plot in my head.

Okay, that's it. Chapter one should be up with this, but you'll have to wait for chapter two. Enjoy! And as always, reviews are welcome.