Music : Fly me to the moon by Utada Hikaru
No , I don't own it . I don't know who composed it either . All I know is that she sang it . Don't sue .
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Date : December 21 , 2003
Schuldich hadn't slept for four days straight .
He found that the maximum rate that he could go without sleep was 4 days – 96 hours . After that , it's all downhill and he'd crash for two days or more.
He didn't mind the fatigue and the sleeplessness ; just the knowledge that Ken was going to be alright was enough to keep him running for a thousand more years ... but it looked like he was at the end of his leash .
The endless weeks he been running around looking for surgeons , for help , arranging Aya's funeral – it spent every single drop of energy in him , and after the rush at finding that Ken was going to be fine , his body seemed to finally be shutting down .
He sighed and rested his cheek on the pillow beside Ken's head as he watched the snow glisten and twirl outside .
It was snowing again ...
It seemed just like it was yesterday , just a yester-New Year's day when he walked outside and saw him alone in that whitewashed park .
He listened to the rhythmic breathing , the swish-swoosh of Ken's laboured breathing over the faint strains of a song playing on the radio .
Fly me to the moon,
and let me play among the stars.
Let me see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars.
In other words, hold my hand!
In other words, darling, kiss me.
Fill my heart with song,
and let me sing forever more.
You are all I long for, all I worship and adore.
In other words, please be true!
In other words, I love you! [***]
Who knew that that moment would ultimately make his life like this ?
... a living heaven and a hell at the same time ?
... existing in a place where you finally have the only one you love and yet you're perpetually afraid that you're going to lose him ?
Gently , he squeezed the cold hand of that one person and prayed his millionth prayer .
He'd never been a religious man . In fact , he didn't think that he believed in the concept of a God at all . It seemed like just some sort of religious fairytale that people conjure in order to have something to place the blame on ... that jaded concept of his towards a god changed drastically that moment , that second , when he learned that Ken was alright ... that he was going to live after all ; he felt like he was a changed man , the black sheep that had learned to live in faith like he heard so much about .
He's going to be alright ... he's gonna live ... Those phrases once more got him restless , anxious to see proof and evidences that this was true .
A thousand thoughts were racing through his head and only his body was too tired to react to all of them .
Happy thought , angry thoughts , fond memories , worried ones ...
Aya was going to be buried today , 10:30 . He wouldn't be able to come ... he felt a twinge of regret , falling short of anger towards himself . Maybe he was an idiot not to tell Ken . Bad news was always harsher from distant lips ... he hadn't been there to comfort Ken when he had needed him . Maybe that's why things happened the way they did .
Blinking , his tired eyes rested on a single blood-red rose propped against the window's glass. From Yohji perhaps ... or one of the nurses . Ken was a popular patient in the floor , he knew .
" Did you want him to stay , huh , Aya ?" He murmured softly at the flower innocently framed by the window and by the swirling snow outside . He was half into dreamland and he knew it , but he felt he could just blabber the day away . " Did you help him come back to me ?" His eyelids were fluttering close , he could almost feel himself being gently lulled to sleep by an inaudible lullaby .
Instinctively his hand clasped Ken's tighter as he let loose a drowsy breath before being gently pulled into a dreamless sleep .
He'd wake up to a more beautiful reality ; he didn't need dreams . Not now , and hopefully , not ever . Because Ken Hidaka was now at his side and that was enough .
... it was enough ...
You are all I long for, all I worship and adore.
In other words, please be true!
In other words, I love you!
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He didn't exactly know what happened . One moment he was sleeping , seated at Ken's bedside , the next he was being ushered around by a female orderly like sheep to slaughter .
He glared at her , still half-asleep and bleary-eyed .
She must learn something . Never EVER wake Schuldich Schwarz if you want to escape with your life intact .
It turned out that she was tough – and she wasn't afraid of guys like him . He looked her up and down and realized the reason why . She was even beefier and taller than he was ; and that , in his book could just be enough reason .
He sighed and tried to fight his way back to Ken , but she manhandled him well enough to keep him away . He didn't even get the chance to glance back at the brunette whom he knew was sleeping peacefully .
It seemed like he was being led outside . The reason he knew not why .
Still grumbling to himself and devising a half-baked plan on how to sneak back in to Ken's room , he was suddenly aware of someone being wheeled beside him .
The wheelchair was creaking ominously as if warning him of something menacing to come .
Creak ... creak ... creak ...
He cringed inwardly . He didn't like being around old people on Christmas season , it really gave him the creeps ; they tend to remember the times when they were young and almost always had this far off , half-dead look to them that he found eerie .
Mechanically , he turned his head and his jade eyes widened into a pair of emerald saucers .
Ken was grinning up at him like some sun-dappled cherubim on a walk . " Good morning there , sleepyhead ."
"Wh-what the hell ?!?" Schuldich sputtered incoherently his mind still foggy enough for it not to register thoroughly .
Ken gave a complacent grin as the wheelchair slid forward with the aid of a very pretty nurse . And I say very . " You know they had to haul you out of that chair and onto a bed . I said that I'd pay for your stay at the luxury folding bed at the corner of the room but they said it was free just for me ." At that , he offered a thousand-megawatt smile at the nurse pushing his chair .
Schuldich felt a prickle of mad jealousy .
" They were kind enough to change your clothes and bathe you while you were sleeping . You must've looked like a stinkbomb for them to be desperate enough to strip you naked . " Ken added musingly .
Schuldich flushed a bright red . He wasn't ashamed of his body , he knew he had a perfect physique ... but he did reserve whom he showed it to and he'd have thought Ken would be more possessive towards that . " Wh-what did you say ?" He stammered indignantly .
Ken laughed , his grey eyes twinkling merrily . " And they enjoyed the show too , didn't you , Makoto-chan ?"
The nurse blushed and nodded shyly , almost reluctantly , skillfully avoiding Schuldich's eyes .
So maybe that was why he didn't smell like shit now ... but he certainly felt like it though .
" Wait a minute , are you even allowed out of your room ?" He asked , his face creased in worry and concern . " You just had your surgery yesterday ; your wounds aren't healed yet ."
Ken gave a shout of laughter , reminding Schuldich of the sound of children's merry bantering ; and the nurse stopped pushing his chair too , giggling .
" What ?" He demanded irritably .
" That was four days ago , idiot ! You were knocked out so bad like you've been injected with elephant tranquilizers ; you looked like a log so I figured I'd sabotage the hospital and they'd be forced to let me go and pump you with drugs in my place." Ken hid a small childish grin , reminiscent of the days they spent happily together – before he had to stay at the hospital . Before he became sick ... before Aya died .
Briefly , Schuldich considered the thought that Ken had completely forgotten about Aya's death and banished the idea . He shouldn't be thinking about it himself ; it would only make things worse . Ken would talk when he needed to talk . He was sensible enough for that – even when it came to Aya ...
A slow grin spread on Schuldich's face as he felt Ken's hand on his arm .
It was true ! So it wasn't just another dream !
" They had to let me go for a few days they said , just in time for Christmas ! Aren't you glad ?" Ken set his mouth in grim determination as he stared at the open entry way that would mean freedom , occasionally replying to enthusiastic bids of farewell from his legion of fans and promising to visit them soon .
Schuldich face broke into a quiet smile and he himself couldn't wait to finally walk out that door and be held by Ken' for the first time after everything that's happened and have a kiss that would make everybody stammer in shame .
A few steps more ... just a few steps more ... the air was cold outside , not enough to nip their noses , but just enough to remind him that Christmas ...
Ken thanked the nurse and waved goodbye , before facing Schuldich , his face alight with a beautiful , beautiful smile . Schuldich grinned back , for a moment speechless as he gazed back lovingly into those wonderful grey eyes . " Welcome back , mein lieb ."
Ken closed his eyes and without another word allowed himself to be taken into Schuldich's warm embrace .
It was a long time that they stood there , motionless , like a pair of intertwined statues kissed by the snowflakes ...
No one heard the redhead whisper 'Merry Christmas' to that brunette he loved the most ; nor did they hear the answering 'I love you' ... but themselves – and God .
There weren't time for gifts or candlelit dinners for that Christmas ... but that moment alone ... it was enough . Just enough for both of them .
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[***] This is the old version he was listening to , the one with male vocals !
REDEMPTION_MOON : I KNOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW ! T_____T;;;; I promised to end this last new year's ! *readers mumble and grumble 'some people never change ... get a new year's resolution for crying out loud !* I had desperately wanted to end this last new year's too ! I was eager to start my BxKxB/SxKxS fic (or maybe 'resume' since I posted chapter 1) but … well remember Whisper Reilman saying something about a 'Series of Unfortunate Events' by Lemony – uh – something happening to Schuldich ? Well if this was his version , my new year's was the beginning of my own . First FF.net adamantly refused by entry then everything started to happen at once , like my finals , a barrage of projects one on top of the other , varsity training , applications , college exams ... generally , life just wanted to be a bitch . So I was on an enforced hold until today , but even now I'm still cramming right and left . Thank goodness I left with a pretty good impression last chapter ! (or else I don't know what horrible things could have happened to me) O……..O;;; *aherm* Anyway . Well , I'm not satisfied with this chapter . It's only a quiet supplication to help you forgive and forget about my misdemeanors and broken promises (of not posting for almost a month – whoa ! Almost a MONTH !). *sighs* Gosh , I'm so miserable right now , the only light I can look towards it is that I passed two of the three colleges I applied to , and I'm still waiting for the results of the third one to come out . Hopefully , I'll pass that one too (it's the one I like the best) . *grumbles while chasing away crummy physics and trigonometry professors with a stick* Okay .
Back to business ... sort of .
Just a piece of trivia – in case anyone was wondering (although I don't see any reason why anyone'd be wondering about it anyway) , I listen to my mp3s one song at a time and loop the same song over and over again until I tire of it – so no , I didn't write these paragraphs in roughly five minutes it takes the song to end . I have more distractions than that . ^____~
P.S.
If you're mad about my crappy updating , flame me ! I don't mind ; you guys have the right to vent you're 'anger' towards me right ?! ^____~
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Misura : Just part ? *pouts* I'd say I had a bigger part than Yohji ! *kicks him* But I didn't have anything much to gain , did I ? *LOL About 'hurray for T* Arigatou !
Chahiya : Whoa . That's a lot of adjectives you're firing at me . O____O But I guess you meant all those in a good way . ^__^ Hmmm … you're pondering , huh ? Maybe I should kill Yohji or Nagi off just for fun ... you know , for a crazy plot twist to get everyone of their seats ... . what ?! YOU guys suggested it !!!!
Brizey : ^____^ Arigatou a lot !!!
plutoniankk : Hello there ! Welcome to my insanity ! I'm glad to see a new face around here . ^______^
Ketty : ^___^ Hope you're still enjoying the ride , though I can't say much for myself . *twiddles with fingers*
Schu : I suppose you're right ... Uhm ... well he hasn't got a brain damage or anything – although - *gets another idea* if you really want to prolong this fic *jumps excitedly* he could always – and Schuldich could – and he'd – and yeah he'd go – skfj ldsifjoiuposgupiut oieuoigufo ifjglkfdjg udoiuytoiyu kxjglkjf lkj kjldkjgspz spoufspouuetu uldjf lmfdmfpjfj ...
Schu : O_____O;;;
R_M : *still spouting unintelligible words* fdlksj jait poigporiyt pjflvkmc mxfldkjg putrudpodsf jcmvlkjglfdkjgl skdjflkjdshtkrhk jhsauejfsjf jdnvcnvkfjhgads *takes a deep breath* Sorry . I got carried away .
Schu : O____________O;; *nodnod*
KyraEnsui : ^______^ I'm glad . Just turned 17 myself (I'm young for my class). ^____^ I could send you a belated birthday gift of Kleenex packs ... although I'm not sure I can even afford that right now ... like most teenaged girls , I'm flat broke . \V . V/ So much for happy birthday , Redemption . T____T
Mistress of Darkness1 : Really ? I'd never heard that saying before ... maybe . *enigmatic smile* Arigatou for saying that !
Anna Hibiki : You hated him at first ? Well , I hated him forever . Aya ? Well , I like Aya a helluva lot better than 'The Brat' *snickers* Whoever thought of him and his crazy pair of shorts must be suicidal ... *goes away , laughing maniacally* Arigatou !
Dark Demigoddes : *LOL* Then I'd say I was pretty effective , ne ? You're right , even I aren't THAT 'horribly wicked' ... and no , you're not alone ... no anime-related presents for me this year too ... in fact , the gifts generally ... well ... disappointed ... but it's the thought that counts , right ? . ;;
Zeto : *LOL... counts grey hairs* Oooooh , pocky ! Happy ending ? *grinz*
Manx16 : Wow thank you ! That's really big for me ! ^_____^ *ish happy* It did ! Whooopeee ! Really ?!! *wags tail* I even fooled myself too – for once . Maybe I should be a doctor ... NOT ! ^___^ I hate blood . They smell bad . Arigatou , arigatou , arigatou ! I can't thank you enough for saying that . I'm glad everyone's just completely (right?) satisfied with the last chapter and I'd hope you guys' interest won't wane till the very end . *LOL at Takatori and screaming and Ken being dead because of him* Ugh ... at this rate , there'd be about three more chapters to go ... but then again , I'd given up promising because I only end up breaking them ! T___T *still grumbling* stupid school ...
Jenken : Oh ! I'm so sorry to hear that . As a matter of fact I was wondering why you decided to drop your previously enthusiastic support – now I know why . Thank you so much for trying to review , despite what you might think , the effort pleases me very much and I can't thank you enough for being such a great reader to me . I've always seen you around reviewing my stuff so I can't say you've been neglecting me or anything , in fact it's quite the opposite . So for all the fervent encouragement , I thank you and am hoping that FF.net won't continue on being a b*i*c* for you and I still hope to see you around . I meant all of that too . ^____^ Thank you for all the compliments , they made my day . ^___________________~
REDEMPTION_MOON : I was about to thank those guys who put me on their author alert list ... some names not quite familiar . I can't thank you one by one right now , but you guys know who you are ; and though some don't exactly review , it's good to know that people actually stay alert for my updates . I'm honored . Thank you . Again , you know who you are .