Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ.

Summary: Gohan has finally relieved his anger and pain to Goten about how Goku was never a father. Will Goten side with Gohan, or will he push him away like the others?

My pain alone

Chapter three: Distrusting

Goten stared at his brother coldly and shook his head roughly. "You know nothing of my pain."

"What in the hell are you talking about?" Gohan yelled while sitting up. "You've got to be crazy. You don't know anything about this hatred. You've only started your sadness, and me, I've lived through it all my life."

"Don't you dare-"

"No Goten, don't you dare raise your voice at me!" Gohan growled while walking up to Goten. "I'm the one that knows all this pain. I forgot it all, but it healed within time, yet sometimes I can't help but feel anger towards dad. Don't ever say that I don't know the deathly feeling because you're the one who doesn't know death…"

The younger Saiyan glared deeply at Gohan with hatred. He scoffed and turned his back towards his brother. "Never say I don't know death…never. I know more than you think. Oh yes, you saw father die; now you want to be pitied over! YOU had your chance Gohan; YOU had all the chances in the world. Why don't you show them your scars of pain? Why don't you show them all your letters and blood you wrote and spilt?! Why don't YOU do something about it, instead of coming up to me to start ruining my moment of hatred? Why do you have to do it now? You know why, because you are afraid. Don't you EVER dare say I don't know death because I went through it? Seven years without a father, watching you and mother mourn over a death and person I didn't even know!"

Gohan looked fiercely at Goten and sighed profoundly. "That's all in the past Goten. My letters and blood is none of your business. I was trying to protect you from the pain I felt, I'm not running from things, I was just trying to conceal my friends and family. Now everyone is coming up to me and confronting me, mom and dad were asking me about things, Videl was trying her best to not start a fight, and now Pan is asking me about our relationship to her grandfather! I don't want her to feel this pain Goten, she doesn't deserve to."

"Why, because he left you, her, and I for most of our lives? No, you know why? It's because he left us all through so much time to pity over his death. I will no longer-"

"Shut up Goten!" Gohan growled slightly. Anger was building deep inside steadily. "You have so much to live for. Don't give it all up to him, please Goten, don't go through the same thing I've been through."

"Oh but I've already have," he sneered abusively. "I'm already at that point where I'm in debt of my soul because this life is nothing but shit. I'm not going to sit around here and wait for some father to leave me again with a mourning mother and family. You saw how sad Pan was when he left. He missed ten years Gohan, TEN years of her childhood. Now she's a fifteen year old teenager, she's already gone through rejection and she doesn't even know it!"

"Don't say anything to her Goten," Gohan warned to some extent, "You will not talk to her about this. She's only a child!"

"Yeah, and the same age you and I went through when we noticed we hated Goku," Goten smirked cockily. "Why don't we start a guild?"

Gohan's eyes widened as he stared at his little brother. His eyes flashed teal and he growled at the other Saiyan. "You better not tell her."

"Relax Gohan," Goten glowered while feeling the same rage. "I'm not going to put her through pain."

"Why can't you listen to me Goten?" he asked. "Why can't you see that you have a life to have? I've pushed this past me, and now you're bringing it back to your own pain!"

"Why can't you realize that you and I are different?!" Goten yelled with fury. "You're the golden child, the best child, strongest, smartest, and better then stupid ol' Goten. Do you know how it feels like to be compared by father? Oh Gohan is so much stronger, and man does he have a lot of brainpower. Not once did I hear, 'Oh Goten I'm proud of you.' I'm always left out, and that's another reason I hate father because you're the glory child, and I'm the one who will remain unknown."

"Goten don't say that-"

"Oh stop with the guild trip!" Goten shouted while powering up to Super Saiyan. "I've had enough of your pity and sympathy. You had your chance, and now this is my time to live out pain. Just leave me alone!" It was then a bright illumination filled the whole mountain area, and blinded Gohan. When he pried his eyes open Goten was no where to be seen…

~*~

"I'm tired of being what they want me to be," Goten cried out while flying in the air. "I CAN'T WITHSTAND THIS PRESSURE!"