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Warning: Male Pregnancy Fic. Well, heck with the 'no kissing' rule, that goes out the window, but still, if the idea of male pregnancy grosses you out then for the love of god, go find another fic that won't offend your sensibilities. This is definitely not for you.
Gondor: With the onset of labour, Legolas can no longer remain in denial about his pregnancy. RoTK, post coronation but before Faramir marries Eowyn. Movieverse, cos bookleggy isn't so fun to toy around with. He'll kill me before I even *think* about messing with him. Movieleggy is much MUCH more fun to bully... Also starring Faramir & Eowyn, with some reminders of Boromir thrown in.
And as before, //... \\ indicates a person's thoughts. (Responses to reviews at bottom.)
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"What about peach?"
"White."
"Well, peach suits you so much better!"
"White."
"But--"
Eowyn lay a finger smilingly on his lips. "No. I said white," she teased coyly and looked up to be kissed. Faramir did so willingly.
"But only if I get to dress as Captain of Gondor."
"But my lord--" she whined, but this time, Faramir held up his hand for silence. "Oh, okay," she sighed at last. "Whatever you think best, my lord, though I *still* think it unbecoming for the Prince of Ithilien to come to his own wedding as a common soldier."
"Captain."
"Captain, phooey. You're just a common soldier."
"Says the shieldmaiden of Rohan. *The* shieldmaiden, mind you. You could have been killed."
"I was already dead inside," she shrugged.
Faramir shook his head. There was no use arguing with her. "Do you remember the first time we met?" he asked, changing the subject. Eowyn laughed.
"What you mean to say is, do *you* remember the first time *you* saw *me*."
"Hmmm, yes... As I recall, you weren't impressed at all."
"Hardly, my lord!" she laughed. "It's just that my attentions were... occupied elsewhere."
"Occupied elsewhere indeed!" he scoffed, feigning indignation and chased her around his private chamber. He caught up with her easily, and for the hundredth time, wondered if it was because she let him catch her. For some reason, the possibility of it bugged him. //Oh, no matter,\\ he thought, brushing the notion aside as he leaned in to kiss her, but to his surprise, she turned away and wriggled out of his grasp.
"Are you sure this is appropriate?" she asked uncertainly. Faramir smiled. Taking both her hands in his, he sat her down on the bed and took his place beside her.
"Of course," he whispered. "The door is wide open, and our marriage is approaching. There is no scandal. And even if there were, the people love you too much."
"The people only accept me because of *you*. They adore you, my lord Faramir. The only reason they even look at me is because of you. You are a good man, Faramir, and they love you because of that."
"And you?" he teased. Eowyn swatted him with a cushion, playfully starting a pillow fight, and together they laughed and ran, joyfully bathing the furniture in a soft downy white as the thinly sewn seams gave way. They were so immersed in their little game that they almost didn't notice the knocking at their door.
"Legolas!" Faramir yelped, caught off guard. "What are you doing here? Well, come in, come in. Don't be a stranger!" he said, spreading his hand in a gesture of welcome. Slightly put off by the Elf's grim attention and more than a little embarrassed at their childish display, the couple hurriedly soothed themselves down in a hopeful attempt to appear presentable.
Despite their efforts however, Legolas' face remained stony and hard. Faramir and Eowyn exchanged nervous glances. Why did he always have to look so disapproving? Or were all elves so cold and aloof? Suddenly, unexpectedly, Legolas crumpled. Unable, or perhaps *unwilling* to support himself any longer, he leaned heavily against the door, eyes tightly shut and gasping for breath as another contraction ravaged his body.
For a fraction of a second, the couple froze, staring at him in alarm, but the soft whimper that escaped his lips snapped them out of their momentary daze. In an instant they were by his side, carefully helping him into the nearest chair.
"I'll get Gandalf," Eowyn breathed as soon as she was convinced that Faramir could tend him without her.
"No!"
The two paused. "No?" they repeated, disbelief colouring their features. Surely they had heard wrongly.
"No," Legolas whispered. "Please. Don't tell anyone."
"Why ever not?"
"Just don't. Please. I beg of you."
Eowyn looked at Faramir uncertainly, but the man looked equally torn.
"Please?" Legolas whispered again.
Shrugging helplessly, Faramir turned to Eowyn. "It's up to him."
"But he needs help!" she gasped, outraged.
"It's his choice, Eowyn."
"But look at him! Faramir, he needs help!"
"No..." Legolas interrupted. Now that the contraction had passed, he was once more master of his features. "No, I'm... alright. It's okay, Eowyn. I'm alright."
Eowyn knelt before him suspicious. "Legolas," she began but he waved her into silence. Eowyn stood up and shook her head. She turned from Legolas to Faramir and back to Legolas again and sighed heavily. "Alright," she said at last. "Fine. I won't fetch anyone. But you have to tell me what's going on."
Legolas nodded. It was only fair, after he had given them such a bad fright, but somehow or other, the words stuck in his throat. What was he supposed to say, and how was he to say it? Looking up at the two pale, frightened faces before him, felt engulfed by an all-powerful sense of guilt. What right had he to worry them that way? It was no concern of theirs. Why had he chosen to come here in the first place?
But those questions could wait. What he really needed now was to give them an answer. Shutting his eyes, he massaged his throbbing temples as he racked his brains for some form of explanation. //Wait... throbbing... what?! *Ow*, he was having such a headache!\\ Legolas groaned inwardly. Well at least he had the small comfort of knowing that his muttered excuse at dinner wouldn't have been a total lie after all. He shivered.
Not for the first time, he felt the baby move restlessly within him and winced terribly at the sensation. He heard a soft gasp, and looking up, he saw Eowyn staring at him in horror, her hands cupped across her mouth in rising alarm. "No," she whispered, shaking her head.
"What do you mean?" Faramir turned to her, jittery. He grabbed hold of her shoulders and shook her hard. "What do you mean by that? Eowyn!" he demanded, "What is it?!"
Eown tore free of his grasp and fell at Legolas' feet. "Legolas," she whispered, "What's going on?" Legolas turned away, unwilling, unable to face her. "Legolas," she pressed. "I saw that," she said, half to herself. "I saw it... But no, that can't be, right, can it? I mean, you're, you're, you're *Legolas*. That can't happen. It's... it's... impossible," she said, and laughed nervously. "Tell me I'm just being silly. Legolas? Please? Tell me I'm just being silly."
Legolas shook his head. "No," he said softly. "You're not. For the longest time *I* thought I was being silly. But I wasn't. And you're not. You're not."
//There!\\ Legolas thought. He had said it! He had admitted it. Now someone else knew about him. And it was such a relief! Now perhaps someone else could do the worrying for him... Guiltlessly letting his emotions overcome him, he let his face fall into his hands and sobbed.
Slowly, hesitantly, Eowyn stood up and put her arms around him and petted his back. She looked up at Faramir doubtfully seeking his advice but the Man simply shrugged his shoulders in confusion. He still had no idea what was going on. "What?" Faramir mouthed silently, half afraid that he might upset Legolas if he voiced his question aloud. After some frantic signing on Eowyn's part, he somehow managed to get a clearer picture. "No," he mouthed, shaking his head in violent disbelief. Eowyn shrugged and signed him a shocked expression, and he returned it with one of complete incredulity, but their odd little miming game lasted only as long as Legolas wept; they stopped as soon as it became obvious that he was trying to compose himself.
"I'm so cold," he Legolas said wretchedly. "I am so cold!" Eowyn got up and draped a blanket around his shoulders, and he wrapped it tightly around himself, shivering uncontrollably. "Elves don't feel cold," he whispered. "But I'm so cold! I'm so, so very cold... how do Men do it? How do you live with it? How do you bear the cold? Day by day by day... So cold... I've never been cold before. But... but ... I'm so *cold*..."
Eowyn took his hand and squeezed it tightly in hers. His fingers were like ice.
"Legolas," Faramir said, gently laying a hand on his knee. He knelt down before the distressed Elf and looked up at him in concern. "Legolas, we need to get someone."
"No!" he hissed. "Nobody else!"
"But we need to get you to someone who knows what to do. None of us here have the slightest clue as to what we should do."
"I don't care!"
"Legolas, listen to yourself," Eowyn crooned, rocking him gently. "Please, be rational about this. Legolas--" she was cut off by a soft moan. "Oh dear gods..."
Faramir turned to his betrothed. "Eowyn, he cannot stay here," he whispered, ignoring her soft cry of indignation. "If he wants it secret then we have to honour that. There must have been a reason why he came here of all places, and that you happened to be here with me, and I accept that. But he cannot stay here. We simply cannot afford to close the door."
Eowyn sighed and ran her hands over her face. She knew Faramir was right. "I can leave," she said at last.
"No!" Faramir cried in alarm before steadying himself. "We're going to need you to be here."
"Then we're going to have to move him?" she asked slowly. Faramir shrugged, and together they both turned to Legolas. "I don't know..." she said quietly. "He really doesn't look too good..."
Legolas, who had in fact been listening to their conversation with something close to fascinated disbelief, looked up at them and shook his head. "I'm okay," he said. "Really, I am. I can walk. I don't mind. Just don't tell anyone. Please."
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Tolkien dint specify who got captaincy of Gondor went to. I just played the wild card and assumed he kept it together with all the extra honours. And oh, now that the King is back, does anyone know what the heck the steward does? I'm assuming he just sits there in Ithilien until Ary goes cross country and shoves all the admin duties to him.
Okay. There. Chapter 4. *grins* haha. I'm actually in this cool conference room waiting for all my other club members to walk on in... got an AGM today, but since nobody's here yet I mite as well get down to work! *grinz*
Legolas19: yay! Glad u liked it. Am working, am working, am working to bring youses some fickies.. Haha. But hey, you know, usually the people who are most freaked out by male pregnancy are of course guys. But the people who are most disgusted by Mpreg tend to be fellow females... interesting, isn't it. =D
Haldir's Heart and Soul: A relationship with Leggy? Hmmm.. Maybe, but probably not in this fanfic. In a different one, yes. Oh, btw, have you read Of Elves and Aphrodisiacs by Tricia? It's bdsm, but a really well written piece nonetheless. And seeing you love haldir and you seem to enjoy leggy in this kinda confused helpless state, maybe you'd enjoy haldir being the cause of his confusion! I cant give you the actual site itself, but you can get to her webbie at and get there from there.
Venus4: Yupyup! Am updating! And yay! I'm glad u liked it. Thanx man!
MoroTheWolfGod: whoa. Is there really a Moro the wolf god? From history of from fiction? Or maybe from fanfiction? Am hurrying! Am hurrying! Haha!
Anonymous: yupyup! And now he finally has help, tho of an 'incompetent' kind. Haha. But at least he has some moral support... even if they are all equally freaked... *grinz* You should be happy, this particular chapter is rather long. but a lotta dialogue. Haha. I *like* dialogue. =D Ooooh, are you encouraging poor innocent moi to be a bad girl? Well, no harm done there. I'm supposed to be at a meetin right now but I'm typetty typing away! Haha. ((( he could always lie and say that he was...how do you say...forced?))) huh? Forced? As in raped? Well, that's not going to solve the problem, is it? I mean, he's a guy. I think that'll be an even worse blow on his manhood (elfhood?) than actually well... that's one reason for his secrecy at least. Its too humiliating a thought, not just cos of the babe, but cos he's a guy as well. (((I'm wondering exactly HOW that will happen, considering that he doesn't have the anatomy for it!))) AHAH! Now this is where AU Fanfiction steps in! haha. Stay and find out!
Mel: no, thank YOU for reviewing! *hugs* haha. You know, I started out not knowing whose kid it was either, but I had visualized that leg would probably go to fara because well, fara's a middle earth snag. Haha. I just thought he'd be most comfortable with fara. And then since I love fara/eowyn I just mentally inserted her. but then once I thought of their having to re-locate, I thought what the heck, why don't they re-locate to B's room? Because I'm a big fan of boromir/faramir (not brotherly incest, but brotherly love) and that'll give me a chance for Poor Sweet Faramir to get all 'I Want My Big Bwother!!!!' again. haha. And once that was settled... the only logical choice would be to spin that theory you have... tho I intend to remain cryptic... haha. Erm... wont say too much. Haha. But you're certainly thinking along the right path.
Ivory Novelist: Hoho! You like faramir, eh. Er... a bit of a duh statement, I know. Haha. But yeah, aragorn's sweet. Only fara's sweeter! *grinz* haha. Fara wide-eyed. Hmmm... pretty. That's a really pretty overall image. Hey, thanks for your support! Heheh. Yup. The time *was* nice.
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Warning: Male Pregnancy Fic. Well, heck with the 'no kissing' rule, that goes out the window, but still, if the idea of male pregnancy grosses you out then for the love of god, go find another fic that won't offend your sensibilities. This is definitely not for you.
Gondor: With the onset of labour, Legolas can no longer remain in denial about his pregnancy. RoTK, post coronation but before Faramir marries Eowyn. Movieverse, cos bookleggy isn't so fun to toy around with. He'll kill me before I even *think* about messing with him. Movieleggy is much MUCH more fun to bully... Also starring Faramir & Eowyn, with some reminders of Boromir thrown in.
And as before, //... \\ indicates a person's thoughts. (Responses to reviews at bottom.)
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"What about peach?"
"White."
"Well, peach suits you so much better!"
"White."
"But--"
Eowyn lay a finger smilingly on his lips. "No. I said white," she teased coyly and looked up to be kissed. Faramir did so willingly.
"But only if I get to dress as Captain of Gondor."
"But my lord--" she whined, but this time, Faramir held up his hand for silence. "Oh, okay," she sighed at last. "Whatever you think best, my lord, though I *still* think it unbecoming for the Prince of Ithilien to come to his own wedding as a common soldier."
"Captain."
"Captain, phooey. You're just a common soldier."
"Says the shieldmaiden of Rohan. *The* shieldmaiden, mind you. You could have been killed."
"I was already dead inside," she shrugged.
Faramir shook his head. There was no use arguing with her. "Do you remember the first time we met?" he asked, changing the subject. Eowyn laughed.
"What you mean to say is, do *you* remember the first time *you* saw *me*."
"Hmmm, yes... As I recall, you weren't impressed at all."
"Hardly, my lord!" she laughed. "It's just that my attentions were... occupied elsewhere."
"Occupied elsewhere indeed!" he scoffed, feigning indignation and chased her around his private chamber. He caught up with her easily, and for the hundredth time, wondered if it was because she let him catch her. For some reason, the possibility of it bugged him. //Oh, no matter,\\ he thought, brushing the notion aside as he leaned in to kiss her, but to his surprise, she turned away and wriggled out of his grasp.
"Are you sure this is appropriate?" she asked uncertainly. Faramir smiled. Taking both her hands in his, he sat her down on the bed and took his place beside her.
"Of course," he whispered. "The door is wide open, and our marriage is approaching. There is no scandal. And even if there were, the people love you too much."
"The people only accept me because of *you*. They adore you, my lord Faramir. The only reason they even look at me is because of you. You are a good man, Faramir, and they love you because of that."
"And you?" he teased. Eowyn swatted him with a cushion, playfully starting a pillow fight, and together they laughed and ran, joyfully bathing the furniture in a soft downy white as the thinly sewn seams gave way. They were so immersed in their little game that they almost didn't notice the knocking at their door.
"Legolas!" Faramir yelped, caught off guard. "What are you doing here? Well, come in, come in. Don't be a stranger!" he said, spreading his hand in a gesture of welcome. Slightly put off by the Elf's grim attention and more than a little embarrassed at their childish display, the couple hurriedly soothed themselves down in a hopeful attempt to appear presentable.
Despite their efforts however, Legolas' face remained stony and hard. Faramir and Eowyn exchanged nervous glances. Why did he always have to look so disapproving? Or were all elves so cold and aloof? Suddenly, unexpectedly, Legolas crumpled. Unable, or perhaps *unwilling* to support himself any longer, he leaned heavily against the door, eyes tightly shut and gasping for breath as another contraction ravaged his body.
For a fraction of a second, the couple froze, staring at him in alarm, but the soft whimper that escaped his lips snapped them out of their momentary daze. In an instant they were by his side, carefully helping him into the nearest chair.
"I'll get Gandalf," Eowyn breathed as soon as she was convinced that Faramir could tend him without her.
"No!"
The two paused. "No?" they repeated, disbelief colouring their features. Surely they had heard wrongly.
"No," Legolas whispered. "Please. Don't tell anyone."
"Why ever not?"
"Just don't. Please. I beg of you."
Eowyn looked at Faramir uncertainly, but the man looked equally torn.
"Please?" Legolas whispered again.
Shrugging helplessly, Faramir turned to Eowyn. "It's up to him."
"But he needs help!" she gasped, outraged.
"It's his choice, Eowyn."
"But look at him! Faramir, he needs help!"
"No..." Legolas interrupted. Now that the contraction had passed, he was once more master of his features. "No, I'm... alright. It's okay, Eowyn. I'm alright."
Eowyn knelt before him suspicious. "Legolas," she began but he waved her into silence. Eowyn stood up and shook her head. She turned from Legolas to Faramir and back to Legolas again and sighed heavily. "Alright," she said at last. "Fine. I won't fetch anyone. But you have to tell me what's going on."
Legolas nodded. It was only fair, after he had given them such a bad fright, but somehow or other, the words stuck in his throat. What was he supposed to say, and how was he to say it? Looking up at the two pale, frightened faces before him, felt engulfed by an all-powerful sense of guilt. What right had he to worry them that way? It was no concern of theirs. Why had he chosen to come here in the first place?
But those questions could wait. What he really needed now was to give them an answer. Shutting his eyes, he massaged his throbbing temples as he racked his brains for some form of explanation. //Wait... throbbing... what?! *Ow*, he was having such a headache!\\ Legolas groaned inwardly. Well at least he had the small comfort of knowing that his muttered excuse at dinner wouldn't have been a total lie after all. He shivered.
Not for the first time, he felt the baby move restlessly within him and winced terribly at the sensation. He heard a soft gasp, and looking up, he saw Eowyn staring at him in horror, her hands cupped across her mouth in rising alarm. "No," she whispered, shaking her head.
"What do you mean?" Faramir turned to her, jittery. He grabbed hold of her shoulders and shook her hard. "What do you mean by that? Eowyn!" he demanded, "What is it?!"
Eown tore free of his grasp and fell at Legolas' feet. "Legolas," she whispered, "What's going on?" Legolas turned away, unwilling, unable to face her. "Legolas," she pressed. "I saw that," she said, half to herself. "I saw it... But no, that can't be, right, can it? I mean, you're, you're, you're *Legolas*. That can't happen. It's... it's... impossible," she said, and laughed nervously. "Tell me I'm just being silly. Legolas? Please? Tell me I'm just being silly."
Legolas shook his head. "No," he said softly. "You're not. For the longest time *I* thought I was being silly. But I wasn't. And you're not. You're not."
//There!\\ Legolas thought. He had said it! He had admitted it. Now someone else knew about him. And it was such a relief! Now perhaps someone else could do the worrying for him... Guiltlessly letting his emotions overcome him, he let his face fall into his hands and sobbed.
Slowly, hesitantly, Eowyn stood up and put her arms around him and petted his back. She looked up at Faramir doubtfully seeking his advice but the Man simply shrugged his shoulders in confusion. He still had no idea what was going on. "What?" Faramir mouthed silently, half afraid that he might upset Legolas if he voiced his question aloud. After some frantic signing on Eowyn's part, he somehow managed to get a clearer picture. "No," he mouthed, shaking his head in violent disbelief. Eowyn shrugged and signed him a shocked expression, and he returned it with one of complete incredulity, but their odd little miming game lasted only as long as Legolas wept; they stopped as soon as it became obvious that he was trying to compose himself.
"I'm so cold," he Legolas said wretchedly. "I am so cold!" Eowyn got up and draped a blanket around his shoulders, and he wrapped it tightly around himself, shivering uncontrollably. "Elves don't feel cold," he whispered. "But I'm so cold! I'm so, so very cold... how do Men do it? How do you live with it? How do you bear the cold? Day by day by day... So cold... I've never been cold before. But... but ... I'm so *cold*..."
Eowyn took his hand and squeezed it tightly in hers. His fingers were like ice.
"Legolas," Faramir said, gently laying a hand on his knee. He knelt down before the distressed Elf and looked up at him in concern. "Legolas, we need to get someone."
"No!" he hissed. "Nobody else!"
"But we need to get you to someone who knows what to do. None of us here have the slightest clue as to what we should do."
"I don't care!"
"Legolas, listen to yourself," Eowyn crooned, rocking him gently. "Please, be rational about this. Legolas--" she was cut off by a soft moan. "Oh dear gods..."
Faramir turned to his betrothed. "Eowyn, he cannot stay here," he whispered, ignoring her soft cry of indignation. "If he wants it secret then we have to honour that. There must have been a reason why he came here of all places, and that you happened to be here with me, and I accept that. But he cannot stay here. We simply cannot afford to close the door."
Eowyn sighed and ran her hands over her face. She knew Faramir was right. "I can leave," she said at last.
"No!" Faramir cried in alarm before steadying himself. "We're going to need you to be here."
"Then we're going to have to move him?" she asked slowly. Faramir shrugged, and together they both turned to Legolas. "I don't know..." she said quietly. "He really doesn't look too good..."
Legolas, who had in fact been listening to their conversation with something close to fascinated disbelief, looked up at them and shook his head. "I'm okay," he said. "Really, I am. I can walk. I don't mind. Just don't tell anyone. Please."
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Tolkien dint specify who got captaincy of Gondor went to. I just played the wild card and assumed he kept it together with all the extra honours. And oh, now that the King is back, does anyone know what the heck the steward does? I'm assuming he just sits there in Ithilien until Ary goes cross country and shoves all the admin duties to him.
Okay. There. Chapter 4. *grins* haha. I'm actually in this cool conference room waiting for all my other club members to walk on in... got an AGM today, but since nobody's here yet I mite as well get down to work! *grinz*
Legolas19: yay! Glad u liked it. Am working, am working, am working to bring youses some fickies.. Haha. But hey, you know, usually the people who are most freaked out by male pregnancy are of course guys. But the people who are most disgusted by Mpreg tend to be fellow females... interesting, isn't it. =D
Haldir's Heart and Soul: A relationship with Leggy? Hmmm.. Maybe, but probably not in this fanfic. In a different one, yes. Oh, btw, have you read Of Elves and Aphrodisiacs by Tricia? It's bdsm, but a really well written piece nonetheless. And seeing you love haldir and you seem to enjoy leggy in this kinda confused helpless state, maybe you'd enjoy haldir being the cause of his confusion! I cant give you the actual site itself, but you can get to her webbie at and get there from there.
Venus4: Yupyup! Am updating! And yay! I'm glad u liked it. Thanx man!
MoroTheWolfGod: whoa. Is there really a Moro the wolf god? From history of from fiction? Or maybe from fanfiction? Am hurrying! Am hurrying! Haha!
Anonymous: yupyup! And now he finally has help, tho of an 'incompetent' kind. Haha. But at least he has some moral support... even if they are all equally freaked... *grinz* You should be happy, this particular chapter is rather long. but a lotta dialogue. Haha. I *like* dialogue. =D Ooooh, are you encouraging poor innocent moi to be a bad girl? Well, no harm done there. I'm supposed to be at a meetin right now but I'm typetty typing away! Haha. ((( he could always lie and say that he was...how do you say...forced?))) huh? Forced? As in raped? Well, that's not going to solve the problem, is it? I mean, he's a guy. I think that'll be an even worse blow on his manhood (elfhood?) than actually well... that's one reason for his secrecy at least. Its too humiliating a thought, not just cos of the babe, but cos he's a guy as well. (((I'm wondering exactly HOW that will happen, considering that he doesn't have the anatomy for it!))) AHAH! Now this is where AU Fanfiction steps in! haha. Stay and find out!
Mel: no, thank YOU for reviewing! *hugs* haha. You know, I started out not knowing whose kid it was either, but I had visualized that leg would probably go to fara because well, fara's a middle earth snag. Haha. I just thought he'd be most comfortable with fara. And then since I love fara/eowyn I just mentally inserted her. but then once I thought of their having to re-locate, I thought what the heck, why don't they re-locate to B's room? Because I'm a big fan of boromir/faramir (not brotherly incest, but brotherly love) and that'll give me a chance for Poor Sweet Faramir to get all 'I Want My Big Bwother!!!!' again. haha. And once that was settled... the only logical choice would be to spin that theory you have... tho I intend to remain cryptic... haha. Erm... wont say too much. Haha. But you're certainly thinking along the right path.
Ivory Novelist: Hoho! You like faramir, eh. Er... a bit of a duh statement, I know. Haha. But yeah, aragorn's sweet. Only fara's sweeter! *grinz* haha. Fara wide-eyed. Hmmm... pretty. That's a really pretty overall image. Hey, thanks for your support! Heheh. Yup. The time *was* nice.