Empty tears.
4. Healing.
T: Right first things first, not mine, if it were I'd have done the Grey Havens in an entirely different way. Oh by the way, went to see it again boxing day and now have random Celeborn hatred. Why? He never went to the Valinor and yet there he is as blatant as day going to Valinor, on the very last ship I may add. Logic dictates, therefore, that he stole Sam's place and deprived us of happy F+S reunion many years later. Right rant over with lets do my favourite thing shall we? Warnings the same with addition of PIPPIN ANGST, yes it is a warning all on its own, why? It's Pippin, sad, do I need explanation?
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Pippin started as he perceived the figure bundled up within the man's arms and moving from Gandalf's side he got as close as he dared to this stranger before enquiring,
"Who are you, sir? And what ill has befallen my kinsman?" And though he tried his best to retain the composure befitting one of his station, his voice shook and he felt tears stinging at his eyes.
"This is the lord Damrod, who you may trust with your life. As for Merry, he has dared to raise hand against the Nazgŭl Captain and has paid the price for it." And Pippin shook his head, for the reply came from Frodo, who stepped out from behind Damrod's leg and as Merry before him he could little believe that his Cousin was truly here.
Yet when he was again presented with the changes wrought upon his Cousin's face by long journey, heavy burden and worried heart, he knew this could only be reality. He laughed then, the sound high and bright, then he moved with a swiftness befitting the energy bound up within his slight form and caught Frodo hard into a hug. Yet it was his tears, for the relief of his worries and doubts, which drew Gandalf's attention and as Frodo's eyes caught the Wizard's over Pippin's shoulder they regarded one another with sharp disbelief.
Pippin released Frodo then and his Cousin crossed to Gandalf and took up the Wizard's aged hand.
"I thought you lost in the long dark of Moria." He said after a moment.
"Things are not always as they seem my dear boy. For my part I believed you still within Mordor."
"As should I be, yet fate turned against me and I am here now rather than there." And there was something in his voice then that warned that now was not yet the time to talk of this thing with Frodo.
His attention turned, therefore, to Merry and pressing his hand to the Hobbits forehead he began to divine what he could from the Hobbit's eyes,
"He has fallen to the Dark Menace and it begins to blight his mind, begins to turn him against himself."
"But he shall be alright will he not?"
"I can not tell you, master Took, not for sure. But he has strength of spirit and the aid of some of the best Medical minds upon Middle Earth to assure that he shall have the best of chances.
"I believe you also should submit to the care of the Medics, Frodo. For I sense a heavy burden on your mind and you are evidently weary."
"Neither rest nor quite contemplation shall ease the burden in my heart Gandalf and no sleep shall I get while things remain as they are now." Yet he suffered himself to be led with Merry, Éowyn and Faramir into the care of the Medics. Yet even their skilled minds could do little to destroy the malady that hung over the four and indeed they could little comprehend what ailed the Ring barer without him divulging the secrets of his heart, a thing he was still loathed to do. Hints they had, the mar of knife, sting and hopeless quest.
Still they tended the sick, until such a point that they began to doubt their own skill, began to believe it was they failing the wounded and their hope dwindled. In this ever-increasing shadow they looked to Gandalf, but found naught there but the worry of an old man for his dearest friend. For the wizard had some comprehension of what weighed Frodo now and knew that unless the Hobbit let the heavy burden of guilt and the harder load of doubt go he would be lost into shadow inescapable.
Hope came to both the wizard and the healers in the form of an old wife, Ioreth, eldest of the healers, who when looking into the fair face of Faramir wept, for all the people loved him. And she said "Alas! If he should die. Would that there were Kings in Gondor, as there were once upon a time, they say! For it is said in the old lore: The hands of the King are the hands of a healer. And so the rightful King could ever be known."
And Gandalf, who stood by said: "Men may long remember your words, Ioreth! For there is hope in them. Maybe a King has indeed returned to Gondor; or have you not heard the strange tidings that have come to the city?"
"I have been too busy with this and that to head all the crying and shouting." She answered. "All I hope is that those murdering devils do not come to this House and trouble the sick."
Then Gandalf went out in haste, a sudden hard hope kindled again in his heart.
And thus did Aragorn come to the Houses of Healing, wrapped within the folds of the lórien cloak and stood at Gandalf's side as the Wizard told Éomer that his sister lived still, but was under the spell of some ailment few comprehended. Silent he remained until Imrahil asked that he might be sent for and then he spoke at last so that they might see and know him.
As they passed into the House Gandalf told of the deeds of Éowyn and Meriadoc and of the other of their fellowship who was within the walls of the house. Aragorn desired greatly to see the Ring bearer and to aid him as he might, yet he knew that for the moment at least his aid was better given elsewhere. Thus he went first to the lord Faramir and sat long looking at his face before he enquired,
"Have you Athelas within your stores?"
"I do not know, I am sure, lord." Ioreth answered, "at least not by that name."
"It is also called kingsfoil"
"Oh that!" Said Ioreth. "Well if your lordship had named it at first I could have told you. No, we have none of it, I am sure. Why, I have never heard that it had any great virtue; and indeed I have often said to my sisters when we come upon it growing in the woods: `Kingsfoil` I said, ``tis a strange name, and I wonder why it is called so; for if I were a king, I would have plants more bright in my garden. ` Still it smells sweet when bruised, does it not? If sweet id the right word: wholesome, maybe, is nearer." And Aragorn bid her then to fetch the leaf and once she was gone bid the others of the House to make water hot. He then took Faramir's hand in his, and laid the other hand upon the sick man's brow. It was drenched with sweat; but Faramir did not move or make any sign, and seemed hardly to breathe,
"He is nearly spent," He said and a voice to his left replied,
"`Tis no wonder for he has had much to concern him of late and this wound and the Black Breath will have been the stones to bring forth the avalanche." And turning Aragorn gazed into Damrod's eyes for a moment before replying,
"You see much, indeed more than most."
"The lord Faramir is my captain, sir." The solider replied. Aragorn smiled then, a faint smile, yet a sign of contentment none the less and his heart cheered he turned again to his charge.
At last Bergil came running in, a he bore six leaves on a cloth,
"It is kingsfoil, sir." He said and it seemed to Aragorn that he had wished to say something else, but that the presence of Damrod within the room sealed his lips.
Taking two leaves, he laid them on his hands and breathed on them, and then he crushed them, and straightaway a living freshness filled the room, as if the air itself awoke and tingled, sparkling with joy. And then he cast the leaves into the bowls of steaming water that were brought to him, and at once all hearts were lightened. For the fragrance that came to each was a little like a memory of dewy mornings, of unshadowed sun in some land of which the fair world in Spring is itself but a fleeting memory. But Aragorn stood up as one refreshed, and his eyes smiled as he held a bowl before Faramir's dreaming face.
"Is it done?" Damrod enquired after a moment.
"It is. But I ask that you do not tax him over quickly." And Faramir stirred then and gazing a moment at Aragorn spoke,
"My lord, you called me. I come. What does the king command?"
"Walk no more in shadow, but awake!" Said Aragorn. "You are weary. Rest a while and take food, and then I think your man has news for you." And Faramir glanced at Damrod then and nodded,
"I will gladly hear your news, Damrod, then we must act, for I can not rest now that the King had returned."
"Farewell then for a while," Said Aragorn, "I must go to others who need me." And he left the chamber then alone, for Damrod, Beregond and his son remained behind.
His time with Éowyn was bitter and he came with heavy heart to Merry's room. There he found Pippin, dressed in the regalia of Gondor and a hard worry in his heart.
"Do not be afraid," Said Aragorn. "I have come to him in time." And he repeated the procedure of crushing the Athelas and casting it into the steaming water. Then he called the Hobbit's name and Merry stirred and said,
"I am hungry. What is the time?"
"Past supper-time now." Said Pippin, "Though I daresay that I could bring something, if they will let me."
"They will indeed," Aragorn turned at the sound of that voice and was greeted with an evidently weary Frodo. "And anything else that this Rider of Rohan may desire, if it can be found in Minas Tirith, where I hear his name is in honour."
"Good!" Said Merry. "Then I should like supper and a pipe so that I might think of him and his kindness. Then I would dearly love to hear your tale, Cousin."
"That request, I fear, must be refused, for the moment at least." Frodo replied and Aragorn took up one of his small hands and looked deep into his eyes.
"Your road has been hard, that much I already know. Yet you are weighed down with fresh burden both physically and mentally. Will you not share the load?"
"Not this day, Strider. For you have spent yourself in the tending of others and Merry has not yet fully gained his strength.
"Then in the first light of dawn tomorrow we shall sit in as much contentment as we can and weave together the many threads of this tale."
*
In the fair dawn of the next morn Gimli and Legolas came with Aragon into the Houses of Healing. Long they talked with Merry, Pippin and Damrod, who shared his part in the tale with a great confidence until he reached the pass of Cirith Ungol, where at last he faltered.
"It should not be I telling of what I saw within that place, but Frodo. For what occurred there is I suspect the heart of his new burden."
"That at least is true, Damrod and you have keen sight to observe such a thing. Thus I tell all that I can, for some things even I can only construe from what Damrod has told me.
"I came with Sam to the entrance of that dark place, to the very layer of Evil. But no hint did we have of what would come before us, of the trap Gollum was setting us but for the stench of rotting flesh. Within the walls of that tunnel was darkness of a such that I have never seen before, for it was not the flat darkness of Moria but a living darkness full of malice and corruption.
"Ever as we travelled up the tunnels length we felt a malice beating at us, making our steps slow and adding more weight to our already weary bodies. That malice came from a great spider, of whom I can tell you little."
"She is…was…Shelob, last and greatest of the Ungoliant's offspring. Death is her lifeblood and darkness her waist. Ever has the threat of her has been present within the pass of Cirith Ungol within my lifetime at least." Damrod supplied. For the first time Frodo found himself wondering at Damrod's age, for he recalled that Faramir had himself known little about the threat of Cirith Ungol and had given the impression that only those more mature in years knew the truth of that menace. Frodo knew that if he had the time he would ask the man about this and other mysteries, such as the keenness of his second sight. For now though there was a tale to finish.
"We drove her away with the Lady's light, but even that was as little deterrent to her and as we broke free finally into the faint light of Mordor she came behind me and I fell into dreaming.
"Damrod has told me that she was gone when he arrived and that there were signs of a struggle all about me. The rest of the tell is simple enough to piece together then, Sam fought and won against her and came again to my side."
"The Beast had dosed Frodo with a sedative of sorts and to the uninitiated eye he would have seemed dead."
"Thus it was for Sam and with me lost to him and believing as I did that we were all that remained of the Fellowship he took up my task. He will be in Mordor now alone while I…I am here in safety, surrounded by all those I believed lost." And Frodo lifted his head then towards the dark shadow of Mordor upon the horizon, loss evident in his eyes.
"There is no need for guilt, Frodo, for fear,"
"Is there not, Aragorn? It was my burden, my task. And now while I linger here in freedom from It he draws ever closer to its influence. It would destroy me to lose Sam to It, Strider. I cannot let it happen, I will not." And Frodo's paper-thin control tore at last and he wept without cessation. Pippin moved from his place at Merry's side and taking his Cousin into his arms said,
"If any one can do it, Frodo, it shall be Sam. You may count on that."
"If he dies it shall be my fault, Pip."
"This is the way fate intended it I think, little one." Damrod said, "Your companion was of a bread that I have never seen before even in the world of men and I believe that it lies within him to destroy the Ring spell and finish your task. If only so that you are preserved in tales and thus honoured always. Such devotion is rarely found."
"Yes, I know." And by the absence in his voice his companions knew that he had yet to destroy all of his guilt or hard burden.
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T: Yes I know I said this would be huge but I got myself confused by having two chapter fours in my notebook. The next chapter was the one I was thinking of. From `taking two leaves` until `his dreaming face` is a direct quote.
Only one note here on the Frodo angst. He is experiencing here survivors guilt and a little confusion, after all was he not told `if you can not do this task, no one can`? And yet it seems that Sam will complete this task in a much more impressive way than Frodo did.
Mount Doom next people.
R+R