Ch. 4 Perfectly Pink Atlantis
"This is your captain speaking. Please fasten your seatbelts and keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle. We will be experiencing minor turbulence," said one of the mice (the one who was flying obviously). Mr. Potato-Head looked wildly around for the seatbelt and couldn't find it. Then he realized that MAYBE he couldn't find it because he wasn't wearing his eyes. "DOY!" he said aloud and snatched them out of his handy-dandy butt compartment.
With his newly restored sight he noticed a sign where his seatbelt should have been. "This seatbelt is currently out of service. Sorry for the inconvenience." Mr. Potato-Head poked the mouse in front of him, "Uh....excuse me....uh...I don't think....my seatbelt..." He poked more insistently. The mouse turned around and yelled, "STOP IT WILL YOU!? Do you have an Obsessive Compulsive Poking Disorder?!?!"
Just then they hit the "minor" turbulence. Mr. Potato-Head learned first- hand what the words motion sickness mean. He was bounced up....and down......and up........and down...and UP.....and down and down and down and down and suddenly Mr. Potato-Head realized he was falling through the air.
He was speeding towards a dark ship with black sails. The ship was swarming with moving skeletons who were loading and shooting cannons aimed at a coastal town. Smoke filled the air with each shot. One of the cannons was facing upwards. Mr. Potato-Head fell inside it neatly.
"It's kinda dark in here," he said to no one in particular. Suddenly someone stuff a hard black ball with a lit fuse on the end of it inside the cannon. "Why thank you!" said Mr. Potato-Head, delighted to be able to see.
BOOM! Mr. Potato-Head and the cannon went flying through the air. Mr. Potato-Head was now going UP and UP and UP and back down......
He fell into the plane with the mice. One of them turned around and said "Didn't I tell you to wear your seatbelt?" "BUT....I ....there wasn't....but....O NEVER MIND!"
"Hey!" The other one said randomly, "It's Friday the 13th and a storm is brewing! Perfect conditions for flying over the Bermuda Triangle! Let's go!" "Yippee!" shouted Mr. Potato-Head (he was just glad the turbulence was over).
By the time the plane reached the center of the Bermuda Triangle, the storm was going full throttle. Mr. Potato-Head was once again enjoying motion sickness. Gagging, he leaned over the edge of the plane....and fell out.
He hurtled spinning towards the sea below, catching glimpses of a whirlpool forming below him, and flashes of pink light. Pink light? He wondered miserably. He landed in the whirlpool (think giant toilet being flushed) and swirled round and round (yet more motion sickness).
The bottom of the giant toilet bowl, ahem, I mean, whirlpool, he found himself in a giant tube. He floated along enjoying the scenery. He was certain he saw two fish swimming round in circles talking: "P. Sherman 42 Wallaby Lane, Sydney. P. Sherman ...." "I know we took a wrong turn, I just KNOW it!" "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."
Suddenly Mr. Potato-Head was blinded by pink light. He blinked and tried to clear his head. The first thing he saw was shiny white smiling teeth. The teeth were attached to a plastic shiny head. The head was attached to a weirdly proportioned body; abnormally long legs, impossibly small waist, HUGE round....um...things (hey, this IS rated G) above the waist. It was dressed in a hot pink dress suit.
"Hi, I'm Capital Barbie!" the body said energetically, smile still creepily fixed on its face, "Welcome to Atlantis!"
Mr. Potato-Head looked around. Somehow, he had never imagined Atlantis so....pink. Not to mention it was full of plastic supermodels with creepy smiles pasted on their faces.
A bright pink convertible drove up, complete with a smiling blonde driver. "Hey, I'm Tour Guide Barbie! I'll be your personal tour guide on your scenic trip around Atlantis! Hop in and we'll get started!" Tour Guide Barbie was sickeningly spunky and cheerful. But Mr. Potato-Head was attracted to her Bubble Gum Pink car, so he got in, stroking the sides lovingly.
Tour Guide Barbie took off at a frighteningly fast speed (more motion sickness). Tour-Guide kept up a steady commentary as they whizzed through the city.
"AndtoyourleftthereisthePerfectlyPinkParkwhereeverythingispinkandthereisthep erfectlypinkproductionpartershipandtoyourrightisthemonumenttoScientistBarbie whodiscoveredthecolorpinkandoverthereisthePerfectlyPinkPalacewhereMayorBarbi elivesshesverybusytryingtopassabilltochangeournamefromAtlantistoPerfectlyPin kPlacebutIamsureshewillwanttomeetyou!"
She said this all in one breath. Mr. Potato-Head just smiled and nodded, while trying to fight the urge to puke.
Tour-Guide pulled up the Perfectly Pink Palace with a screeching stop. Another peppy Barbie met them at the doors. "I'm Mayor Barbie, and welcome to the fine city of Atlantis."
They stepped into the building where background music blared, "I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie woooorld, I am made of plastic...Isn't that fantastic?....You can brush my hair...undress me anywhere..."
Another Barbie crept up behind Mayor Barbie. She had the now familiar creepy smile but not the perky aura surrounding her like the others.
"You are the One," she said dramatically to Mr. Potato-Head. "Sorry? One what?" he asked, confused. "You are the One," she answered.
Mayor Barbie shook her head sadly, "She's Matrix Barbie. That's all she can say." "You are the One." "See what I mean?"
Mayor turned back to Mr. Potato-Head and said, "We're much honored to be visited by a plastic potato, but your lack of pink is disturbing. In order to stay here you must pledge your allegiance to Pink and be spray painted in Hot Pink permanent spray-paint." Mr. Potato-Head considered. "Hmm....being pink for the rest of my life sounds fine to me, but does it have to be Hot Pink? I'm really not all that terribly fond of Hot Pink. I'm really more partial to.....Bubble Gum Pink!" He glanced lovingly at the convertible parked outside.
"No. It must be Hot Pink."
"What about Tickle-Me-Pink?"
"No."
"Magenta?"
"NO"
"....Neon..?"
"NO!"
"What about...."
"You know what? Never mind. You're too annoying to stay here at Atlantis," Mayor Barbie declared, her creepy smile looking slightly strained. "In fact, I'm sending you as far from this place as possible. You can go to Mars."
"In a shuttle?"
"Yes"
"A pink shuttle?"
"YES"
"O....Hot pink?" "YOU ARE SO ANNOYING!" (Smile was VERY strained now).
A new perky Barbie popped up, in a fluffy pink spacesuit. "Hello! I'm Astronaut Barbie! I'll be your pilot today!"
"Is Mars pink? Bubbly Gum Pink? Cuz I really don't like Hot P-"
Mayor Barbie reached over and tugged off Mr. Potato-Head's mouth. She handed it to Astronaut Barbie. "He can have it back when he's nowhere near me!"
So the now silent Mr. Potato-Head boarded the space shuttle to Mars (which was, to his dismay, Hot Pink). He strapped himself in grudgingly to the Hot Pink chairs using Hot Pink seatbelts.
As the Space Shuttle pulled out of Atlantis, Mr. Potato-Head, for the fifth time that day, experienced motion sickness. To sooth him, Flight Attendant Barbie put on a movie. "Yay! I love Pocahontas!" Mr. Potato-Head said with his newly recovered mouth. Then he realized the tape was filmed in Hot Pink.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
And Mr. Potato-Head's painfully pink journey continues on............
"This is your captain speaking. Please fasten your seatbelts and keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle. We will be experiencing minor turbulence," said one of the mice (the one who was flying obviously). Mr. Potato-Head looked wildly around for the seatbelt and couldn't find it. Then he realized that MAYBE he couldn't find it because he wasn't wearing his eyes. "DOY!" he said aloud and snatched them out of his handy-dandy butt compartment.
With his newly restored sight he noticed a sign where his seatbelt should have been. "This seatbelt is currently out of service. Sorry for the inconvenience." Mr. Potato-Head poked the mouse in front of him, "Uh....excuse me....uh...I don't think....my seatbelt..." He poked more insistently. The mouse turned around and yelled, "STOP IT WILL YOU!? Do you have an Obsessive Compulsive Poking Disorder?!?!"
Just then they hit the "minor" turbulence. Mr. Potato-Head learned first- hand what the words motion sickness mean. He was bounced up....and down......and up........and down...and UP.....and down and down and down and down and suddenly Mr. Potato-Head realized he was falling through the air.
He was speeding towards a dark ship with black sails. The ship was swarming with moving skeletons who were loading and shooting cannons aimed at a coastal town. Smoke filled the air with each shot. One of the cannons was facing upwards. Mr. Potato-Head fell inside it neatly.
"It's kinda dark in here," he said to no one in particular. Suddenly someone stuff a hard black ball with a lit fuse on the end of it inside the cannon. "Why thank you!" said Mr. Potato-Head, delighted to be able to see.
BOOM! Mr. Potato-Head and the cannon went flying through the air. Mr. Potato-Head was now going UP and UP and UP and back down......
He fell into the plane with the mice. One of them turned around and said "Didn't I tell you to wear your seatbelt?" "BUT....I ....there wasn't....but....O NEVER MIND!"
"Hey!" The other one said randomly, "It's Friday the 13th and a storm is brewing! Perfect conditions for flying over the Bermuda Triangle! Let's go!" "Yippee!" shouted Mr. Potato-Head (he was just glad the turbulence was over).
By the time the plane reached the center of the Bermuda Triangle, the storm was going full throttle. Mr. Potato-Head was once again enjoying motion sickness. Gagging, he leaned over the edge of the plane....and fell out.
He hurtled spinning towards the sea below, catching glimpses of a whirlpool forming below him, and flashes of pink light. Pink light? He wondered miserably. He landed in the whirlpool (think giant toilet being flushed) and swirled round and round (yet more motion sickness).
The bottom of the giant toilet bowl, ahem, I mean, whirlpool, he found himself in a giant tube. He floated along enjoying the scenery. He was certain he saw two fish swimming round in circles talking: "P. Sherman 42 Wallaby Lane, Sydney. P. Sherman ...." "I know we took a wrong turn, I just KNOW it!" "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."
Suddenly Mr. Potato-Head was blinded by pink light. He blinked and tried to clear his head. The first thing he saw was shiny white smiling teeth. The teeth were attached to a plastic shiny head. The head was attached to a weirdly proportioned body; abnormally long legs, impossibly small waist, HUGE round....um...things (hey, this IS rated G) above the waist. It was dressed in a hot pink dress suit.
"Hi, I'm Capital Barbie!" the body said energetically, smile still creepily fixed on its face, "Welcome to Atlantis!"
Mr. Potato-Head looked around. Somehow, he had never imagined Atlantis so....pink. Not to mention it was full of plastic supermodels with creepy smiles pasted on their faces.
A bright pink convertible drove up, complete with a smiling blonde driver. "Hey, I'm Tour Guide Barbie! I'll be your personal tour guide on your scenic trip around Atlantis! Hop in and we'll get started!" Tour Guide Barbie was sickeningly spunky and cheerful. But Mr. Potato-Head was attracted to her Bubble Gum Pink car, so he got in, stroking the sides lovingly.
Tour Guide Barbie took off at a frighteningly fast speed (more motion sickness). Tour-Guide kept up a steady commentary as they whizzed through the city.
"AndtoyourleftthereisthePerfectlyPinkParkwhereeverythingispinkandthereisthep erfectlypinkproductionpartershipandtoyourrightisthemonumenttoScientistBarbie whodiscoveredthecolorpinkandoverthereisthePerfectlyPinkPalacewhereMayorBarbi elivesshesverybusytryingtopassabilltochangeournamefromAtlantistoPerfectlyPin kPlacebutIamsureshewillwanttomeetyou!"
She said this all in one breath. Mr. Potato-Head just smiled and nodded, while trying to fight the urge to puke.
Tour-Guide pulled up the Perfectly Pink Palace with a screeching stop. Another peppy Barbie met them at the doors. "I'm Mayor Barbie, and welcome to the fine city of Atlantis."
They stepped into the building where background music blared, "I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie woooorld, I am made of plastic...Isn't that fantastic?....You can brush my hair...undress me anywhere..."
Another Barbie crept up behind Mayor Barbie. She had the now familiar creepy smile but not the perky aura surrounding her like the others.
"You are the One," she said dramatically to Mr. Potato-Head. "Sorry? One what?" he asked, confused. "You are the One," she answered.
Mayor Barbie shook her head sadly, "She's Matrix Barbie. That's all she can say." "You are the One." "See what I mean?"
Mayor turned back to Mr. Potato-Head and said, "We're much honored to be visited by a plastic potato, but your lack of pink is disturbing. In order to stay here you must pledge your allegiance to Pink and be spray painted in Hot Pink permanent spray-paint." Mr. Potato-Head considered. "Hmm....being pink for the rest of my life sounds fine to me, but does it have to be Hot Pink? I'm really not all that terribly fond of Hot Pink. I'm really more partial to.....Bubble Gum Pink!" He glanced lovingly at the convertible parked outside.
"No. It must be Hot Pink."
"What about Tickle-Me-Pink?"
"No."
"Magenta?"
"NO"
"....Neon..?"
"NO!"
"What about...."
"You know what? Never mind. You're too annoying to stay here at Atlantis," Mayor Barbie declared, her creepy smile looking slightly strained. "In fact, I'm sending you as far from this place as possible. You can go to Mars."
"In a shuttle?"
"Yes"
"A pink shuttle?"
"YES"
"O....Hot pink?" "YOU ARE SO ANNOYING!" (Smile was VERY strained now).
A new perky Barbie popped up, in a fluffy pink spacesuit. "Hello! I'm Astronaut Barbie! I'll be your pilot today!"
"Is Mars pink? Bubbly Gum Pink? Cuz I really don't like Hot P-"
Mayor Barbie reached over and tugged off Mr. Potato-Head's mouth. She handed it to Astronaut Barbie. "He can have it back when he's nowhere near me!"
So the now silent Mr. Potato-Head boarded the space shuttle to Mars (which was, to his dismay, Hot Pink). He strapped himself in grudgingly to the Hot Pink chairs using Hot Pink seatbelts.
As the Space Shuttle pulled out of Atlantis, Mr. Potato-Head, for the fifth time that day, experienced motion sickness. To sooth him, Flight Attendant Barbie put on a movie. "Yay! I love Pocahontas!" Mr. Potato-Head said with his newly recovered mouth. Then he realized the tape was filmed in Hot Pink.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
And Mr. Potato-Head's painfully pink journey continues on............