Ahem. You will notice that certain people's names seem to be misspelled. I
have done this on purpose. I think the new names fit well. And I am sure
everyone will know exactly who I'm talking about.
Ch. 6 Jurassic Wedding
PLOP "Oof!"
Mr. Potato-Head landed roughly, and face-first, on the less-than-soft- ground. He looked around. There was no sign of the hole that had brought him here. He suspected he was no where near UTENSILA anymore.
Then again, it was hard to tell as he seemed to have a large black line running through his line of vision. He reached up to feel his eyeballs. "Cheap plastic! They cracked!" Ruffled, he through them down on the ground and took out replacement eyes from his handy-dandy butt compartment. Only, they were his angry eyes, so he now wore a permanent scowl.
He glanced around at his surroundings and noticed a bush. "AHA!" he cried, and pounced on the unsuspecting plant. "You wouldn't happen to have any idea how I got here, would you?" he questioned in what he thought was a sly manner.
The bush said nothing.
"Oh, giving me the silent treatment, are we? Well I can fix that!" He jumped onto the defenseless bush and started ripping and tearing.
Deep voice over: "But Mr. Potato-Head didn't know that the bush was secretly poison ivy in the form of a bush!"
Mr. Potato-Head looked up. "Poison ivy?" He suddenly felt a tingling sensation in his arms. It spread quickly to the rest of his body. He sprang up. "ITCHY! AHH THE ITCHY! GET IT OFF!" Frantically scratching he ran in a zigzag pattern. Until he ran straight into a tree.
SMACK.
He rubbed his forehead and looked up at the tree, irritated. "Hey! Watch where you're going! And I don't suppose you would know how I got here either?"
"ROAR!"
The scowling Mr. Potato-Head blinked. Did that tree just roar at me?
He slowly looked up to the top of the tree. He discovered the tree was attached to a very large body which was below an enormous head filled with many very pointy teeth. The tree was not a tree at all, just one of the legs of a Tyrannosaurus Rex.
*Gulp* Mr. Potato-Head smiled weakly at the monster. "Heh...heh...I'll just be going now..."
He sprinted away. From the way the Earth was violently shaking behind him, he guessed that either DIRT was having a little fun with earthquakes or the T-rex was right behind him.
He ran to a bridge, but before he could cross a knight popped up. "Before you cross this bridge, you must answer my questions three!"
Mr. Potato-Head looked worriedly at the dinosaur rushing towards them. "Uh I don't exactly have a lot of time here!"
"Ok. Then just answer this. What is the airspeed velocity of a swallow carrying a coconut?"
Mr. Potato-Head shifted from adorable blue foot to adorable blue foot. "Umm.....I don't think they can carry coconuts. Aren't they too small?"
"CORRECT! You may pass!"
Mr. Potato-Head ran across wondering if he had even answered the question.
Behind him he heard the dino reach the bridge.
"What is your favorite color?"
"ROAR!"
*CRUNCH*
Mr. Potato-Head had the distinct feeling that knight wouldn't be asking any more stupid questions.
As he ran he noticed a crowd gathered. He ran towards them, hoping to lose the T-Rex in the crowd. As he approached an annoying reporter jumped in his face.
"Today we are gathered at the reopened Jurassic Park to witness the marriage of Barfy Spears to a dinosaur! The first ever bi-species marriage between human and dino! The guest list is exotic, including creatures like this rare plastic potato standing next to me! Would you like to comment, sir?"
Mr. Potato-Head used his angry eyes to scowl at him and the reporter decided to bother someone else.
Mr. Potato-Head, feeling hungry, wandered over to the buffet table. Behind him, the T-Rex had arrived. He was tearing the crowd apart (literally). Obviously he was not shy of crowds.
The annoying reporter hurried over to the dino.
"Not everyone was invited, and it seems one ignored soul wants to have his say. What do you have to say sir? Did it hurt to be rejected? Do you still feel the pain? RELEASE YOUR ANGER! How would you like an appointment with Soap-Oprah to express your grief on national T.V.?"
"ROAR!"
*CRUNCH*
One more useless soul gone from the face of the Earth.
While the T-Rex made his way through the crowd, Mr. Potato-Head made his way through the buffet table. He came across some cheeses with sayings written on them. He picked up one that said "EAT ME." Bwahahaha! If I eat this it will make me HUGE and I can smash the world to tiny bits!
Filled with evil thoughts and listening to Barfy Spears singing to the T- Rex ("Bite me, Rexy, One more time!"), Mr. Potato-Head gracefully stuffed the cheese in his pie hole.
The world went blue....then green...then pink with green spots......and he was falling....spinning...doing the polka....
So, thanks to the cheese wedge that was secretly a portal to another place, Mr. Potato-Head's Incredible Journey continues on.......
Ch. 6 Jurassic Wedding
PLOP "Oof!"
Mr. Potato-Head landed roughly, and face-first, on the less-than-soft- ground. He looked around. There was no sign of the hole that had brought him here. He suspected he was no where near UTENSILA anymore.
Then again, it was hard to tell as he seemed to have a large black line running through his line of vision. He reached up to feel his eyeballs. "Cheap plastic! They cracked!" Ruffled, he through them down on the ground and took out replacement eyes from his handy-dandy butt compartment. Only, they were his angry eyes, so he now wore a permanent scowl.
He glanced around at his surroundings and noticed a bush. "AHA!" he cried, and pounced on the unsuspecting plant. "You wouldn't happen to have any idea how I got here, would you?" he questioned in what he thought was a sly manner.
The bush said nothing.
"Oh, giving me the silent treatment, are we? Well I can fix that!" He jumped onto the defenseless bush and started ripping and tearing.
Deep voice over: "But Mr. Potato-Head didn't know that the bush was secretly poison ivy in the form of a bush!"
Mr. Potato-Head looked up. "Poison ivy?" He suddenly felt a tingling sensation in his arms. It spread quickly to the rest of his body. He sprang up. "ITCHY! AHH THE ITCHY! GET IT OFF!" Frantically scratching he ran in a zigzag pattern. Until he ran straight into a tree.
SMACK.
He rubbed his forehead and looked up at the tree, irritated. "Hey! Watch where you're going! And I don't suppose you would know how I got here either?"
"ROAR!"
The scowling Mr. Potato-Head blinked. Did that tree just roar at me?
He slowly looked up to the top of the tree. He discovered the tree was attached to a very large body which was below an enormous head filled with many very pointy teeth. The tree was not a tree at all, just one of the legs of a Tyrannosaurus Rex.
*Gulp* Mr. Potato-Head smiled weakly at the monster. "Heh...heh...I'll just be going now..."
He sprinted away. From the way the Earth was violently shaking behind him, he guessed that either DIRT was having a little fun with earthquakes or the T-rex was right behind him.
He ran to a bridge, but before he could cross a knight popped up. "Before you cross this bridge, you must answer my questions three!"
Mr. Potato-Head looked worriedly at the dinosaur rushing towards them. "Uh I don't exactly have a lot of time here!"
"Ok. Then just answer this. What is the airspeed velocity of a swallow carrying a coconut?"
Mr. Potato-Head shifted from adorable blue foot to adorable blue foot. "Umm.....I don't think they can carry coconuts. Aren't they too small?"
"CORRECT! You may pass!"
Mr. Potato-Head ran across wondering if he had even answered the question.
Behind him he heard the dino reach the bridge.
"What is your favorite color?"
"ROAR!"
*CRUNCH*
Mr. Potato-Head had the distinct feeling that knight wouldn't be asking any more stupid questions.
As he ran he noticed a crowd gathered. He ran towards them, hoping to lose the T-Rex in the crowd. As he approached an annoying reporter jumped in his face.
"Today we are gathered at the reopened Jurassic Park to witness the marriage of Barfy Spears to a dinosaur! The first ever bi-species marriage between human and dino! The guest list is exotic, including creatures like this rare plastic potato standing next to me! Would you like to comment, sir?"
Mr. Potato-Head used his angry eyes to scowl at him and the reporter decided to bother someone else.
Mr. Potato-Head, feeling hungry, wandered over to the buffet table. Behind him, the T-Rex had arrived. He was tearing the crowd apart (literally). Obviously he was not shy of crowds.
The annoying reporter hurried over to the dino.
"Not everyone was invited, and it seems one ignored soul wants to have his say. What do you have to say sir? Did it hurt to be rejected? Do you still feel the pain? RELEASE YOUR ANGER! How would you like an appointment with Soap-Oprah to express your grief on national T.V.?"
"ROAR!"
*CRUNCH*
One more useless soul gone from the face of the Earth.
While the T-Rex made his way through the crowd, Mr. Potato-Head made his way through the buffet table. He came across some cheeses with sayings written on them. He picked up one that said "EAT ME." Bwahahaha! If I eat this it will make me HUGE and I can smash the world to tiny bits!
Filled with evil thoughts and listening to Barfy Spears singing to the T- Rex ("Bite me, Rexy, One more time!"), Mr. Potato-Head gracefully stuffed the cheese in his pie hole.
The world went blue....then green...then pink with green spots......and he was falling....spinning...doing the polka....
So, thanks to the cheese wedge that was secretly a portal to another place, Mr. Potato-Head's Incredible Journey continues on.......