HIYA! MWUHAHAHAHAHA! HI! Sugar is nice! =^.^= Okay, since no one bothered in reading the top part of my last chapter to read the question *glares at reviewers* Okay, so I guess I'll put up Fairie's Bio so there won't be any questions about her.
Name: Fairie God Sister/Fairie/God Sister/Brat
Age in Appearance: 16 but actually looks 11
Real Age: 1652
Hair: silverish-white
Eyes: grayish-silver
Skin: pale
Height: think Ian height
Attitude: knows how to push anger buttons, mood swings easily sometimes with her, highly annoying at some points in life
Job: assigned to help homosexual males find mates and help them live happily ever after and sometimes does errands to Earth for God
Habits: never calls God God but only Boss. Example, you would say 'Oh my God.' She would say 'Oh my Boss' because God is her boss. Is also the obsessor of white. She will only wear white and white only.
Backround: Was born in mideval era. God accidentally was off aim when he was trying to give a heart attack to the neighbor but instead killed her. Since she died, God gave her the choice in helping people as a Fairie or return to Earth as a ghost since it was basically his fault she died in the first place. So she choose the Fairie one and has been helping gay guys since because since straight couples were sooo common and because she needed the challenged.
Last seen (Note: Fairie World/Heaven has faster time then Real World) in Scotland sneaking around some properties looking for something... or someone who shall not be named. *cough*Red-Head*hacker*Anger-Management needed*cough*
Disclaimer: read last chapter, it explains all
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(Robert Point's of View........ Yay....)
Okay, everyone. It's that time of the day where I have to sum up my life all in 3 seconds....
MY LIFE IS FRIGGIN FECKED UP!
Ahh danggit! That's 4 seconds!
Okay, that annoying little girl... little literally is starting to cry and say something like being fired and being banished to Hell...
SHE CAN BRING ME TOO! I'll eventually be sent there by morning! It'll be fun!
.... I WANT MY BODY BACK! AND I WANT IT NOW!
I-Am-Getting-Pissed-Off-And-Annoying-Fairie-God-Sister-Isn't-Shutting-The-Hell-UP!
Atleast she has her body! Mine is stuck with a vampire and the vamp decided to drag me off somewhere!
Oh, I will be totally screwed if I find out he's a rapist...
CAN'T HE RAPE OLIVER OR SOMETHING!
I mean, come on! To be totally honest, Oliver is better looing then me! And besides, he's still virgin! Rapist like virgins as I heard!
..... I need a hug!
'I'm not hugging you!' Fairie yelled at me from her branch. Well, she's actually floating above the branch I think. I can't see. She's in a very tall pine tree and she's at the top branch!
'Would you please go get your own mind! Mine is for my own personal thoughts!'
'Personal! I've been listening in on you for the past few days to know you better before we actually meet! I'm not the one who watches football only because of the football player's butts! Besides, your mind just screams 'LISTEN IN ON ME! I'M A PERVERTED LITTLE MIND! LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT MY FRIENDS!' Personally, I like the whole plan on how to get Johnny to fuck one of your butlers, pure genius right there!'
'I'M NOT PERVERTED!'
'Boss, and I thought I had issues!'
'STOP SAYING BOSS TOO! It's friggin annoying!' I yelled up at her. God, you'd think that Kevin kid was annoying.... And short. But man! This girl beats him by a mile!
'Stop messing with the height! Atleast I don't have helmet hair! Literally!'
'Okay! I can't help it if this is the way my hair goes! But maybe you can help your problem and drink milk!' I yelled at her as she jumped down from her spot to land infront of me... How does she do that?
'Comes with the magic. Okay, here's the deal! How about we call a truce,' Fairie concluded as I thought about it.
'If only you switch the vampire out with someone else before he kills me!'
'Don't worry, he just carried you back to the castle,' she said, scratching her nose.
'Oh that's o- WHAT THE HELL! YOU KNEW?!?!?!?!' I screamed at her as she snickered.
'I'm your Fairie God Sister remember? I have what's sorta like a 6th sense that helps see where my job is,' she explained, grinning like hell and scratching the back of her neck.
Her neck, oh how would I love right now to just snatch that neck and snap it in two!
'You kill me, I'll personally go up to the office and give Boss only good words about you, sending you straight up to Heaven with me,' she threatened.
... Damn, she was good at threatening.
'Fine, just switch him out already!'
'No can do!'
'What! But-but-but!'
'No buts mister! Once someone has been picked, it's your job to swoom them!'
'But he is nothing what I wanted!'
'You wanted, and I qoute from your own mouth, 'tall, dark, and handsome!' Un-qoute! Now tell me! Is he tall?'
I nodded...
'Is he dark?'
For God's sake! HE'S A FRIGGIN VAMPIRE! OF COURSE HE'S DARK!
'I'll take that as a yes. Finally, is he handsome? I personally think he's one fine piece of ass, but it's your choice,' Fairie said as I glared at her.
Okay, hard question. Is it a trick question?
'No,' she as she somehow pulled out a life-size poster out of her pocket... What the hell?
'Is he handsome or not?' she repeated as she unraveled the poster and pinned it to a nearby tree...
'Hell yeah,' I said flat out looking at the poster. She's been doing her homework. And I agree with her on him being one fine piece of ass too.
On the poster was Sanquinex of course, I think in Paris because of all the lights and crap. it's night time, but who cares. It looked like she took the picture as he was looking over his shoulder. Mmmm, black, silky boy-type tank top shirt tightly fitting his upper torso... And showing his strong arms perfectly...Damn, I think I'm getting a nose bleed...
'Here,' Fairie said, handing me a box of tissues she probably also got from her pants...
Mmm..... Tight blue jeans..... God, thank you for a guy who has a nice ass... JUST THANKYOU LORD!
God, the vampire can even make the boots look good on him too!
'You're drooling.'
'Do I look like I care?'
'No... do you agree with me on the ass?'
'Hell-fecking-yeah,' I told her as she started to get the poster down.
'Hey! Can I have that?' I asked her as she simply did a glare at me.
'You can go and hid in the bushes and take your own picture of him, this one is mine!'
'Aww....'
'Besides,' she started as she put the poster back into her pocket with the un-used tissues. 'You'll be waking up soon, and I don't want to get in trouble because a soul-less body will be there just staring at the ceiling. And you can't get back into your body if it's awake. And I don't want Sanquinex to punch you again, he might damage himself and I really don't want that!'
'Oh, fine, don't care for the unconcious one!' I snapped at her as she started ranting on about how good-looking Sanquinex was.
'Okay, I'm done! Okay, we got about 6 minutes and counting to get you back!'
'WHAT?!?!? I can't run 3/4ths a mile in that time!'
'......... You're a ghost you know that?'
'Yeah.....'
'Okay, flying lesson time!'
'I can fly?'
'Yeah, all ghost can when they don't have to do that haunting bullshit. Okay, just jump up and imagine that you're flying! AND HURRY!'
She's insane... BUT WHO CARES! I DON'T WANT TO GET PUNCHED AGAIN!
2 minutes later as I'm still struggling and she's trying not to laugh her head off at me...
'Okay, drastic measures!' she proclaimed as I fell into the dirt one last time. I WAS SOOO CLOSE! I stayed up for 4 seconds!
'What you're doing!'
'I'm getting out my 'broomstick!'' she said as she reached into a pocked and brought out one big ass mallet.
'Wow, must be a pain trying to sweep the floor,' I told her as she smirked at me.
'It's actually quite easy! Watch!' she commanded as she used all her and slammed the mallet (that was a few feet bigger then her) onto the ground... With a very large boom and ground shaking.
'What's supposed to hap... pen....'
I couldn't finished my sentence because her mallet just sprouted these giant wings. Okay, to note, you will only find another fictional thing like this, in Max's dream.
'Okay, no time for talking, get on!' Fairie shouted at me as she grabbed me and threw me behind her on the handle of the mallet.
'I rather run!'
'Oh no you don't! I'm not getting fired before I get my flying liscense!' she yelled as she kicked off the ground.
OH MY GOD! WE'RE FLYING ON A OVER-SIZED MALLET! HAS MAX TAKEN OVER THE WORLD WITH HIS IMAGINATION OR SOMETHING!
'No, he's actually planning on taking over the whole universe.'
'What?!'
'Don't ask! Just hold on tight!' she said one last time as the mallet speed up faster.
Thank God I landed with my legs swinged over on size. It would be a huge pain if I landed with my legs spread apart.
I immediatly grabbed her shoulders to hold on as I looked down... Big no no right there.
...... Quite a drop right there.... We're above all the trees and I can see the castle in the distance, becoming closer enery second.
'Just 3 minutes left! We'll most likely make it just in time! We could get there with 20 seconds to spare if we go faster you know!'
'Fine whatever! I just don't want to get a bruise on my face!'
And with that, I should of punched myself. We were most likely going the speed of a jet plane or something. And the castle is getting closer, and closer, only 1 minute left!
'Which room am I in?!' I asked her as she did a sharp turn to advoid hitting a bat.
'Right over here, and lucky for you the window's open!'
'Huh?!?!'
'Huston, he's good to go!'
'Hey! What are you DOING?!?!?" I yelled at her as she reached behind herself and snatched me. And then to make things worse, she threw me up in the air.
'Ready for launch! In 3, 2, 1, GO GO GO!' Fairie yelled one last time before she hit me with her mallet and through a window...... Quite harshly if you asked me...
Ack! SHE IS SOOO LUCKY THE WINDOW IS OPEN AND THE BED IS SOFT!
Okay, where am I?
'Robert! 10 seconds left! Hurry!' I heard her yell from outside the window.
I WOULD IF I COULD FIND MYSELF!
"Right this way sir, just be careful with him. He means everything to us,' came a voice outside the door. Then the door opened.
There I am being carried by somone!
I wasted no time before shooting out of the bed and jumping into my body.
'Yay! You did it Robert! You saved my job! I owe you one!' And that's the last I ever heard from her that night.... Hopefully.
Okay... Now I can see a bright light...
NOO!!! DON'T GO TOWARDS IT!!!! GO TOWARDS THE PRETTY RED ONE THAT LOOKS LIKE FLAMES!!!! Better place... IT HAS FIRE!
"Master Robert, you're awake!"
"Master Robert, oh, you're sooo dead meat when the head maid finds you!"
"Look at you Master Robert! You're covered in filth! Tabby! Go get the bath ready, and some decent clothes!"
"Oh my, Gustav, you better go get him something to eat too! He looks a little thin!"
................ Maids, can't live without them. They know how to treat you sometimes.... And other times, you just want to strangle their necks.
Okay, now I must focus my eyes. From what I can tell, the maids lite every fecking candle, lamp, and or any other thing that gives off light in the room. Can't they see, I'LL MOST LIKELY GO BLIND LIKE THIS!
"Err........ To much light!" I murmered, closing my eyes and hid my face in a shirt.... That wasn't my shirt...
All maids in room: "Awwww..... How cute!" all in their sqeauly voices.
For some reason, I feel like they're not going to let me forget this night if this is who I think it is.
My eyes instantly snapped open and focused and then looked up. Okay, look back down, back down.
"Aww, look! Robert's blushing! I know he is!" one of the maids sqeauked as I vowed to double her chore time.
"Aww, I guess Robert has a new boyfriend!" another maid guessed. Double chores for her two.
"Uhh, we're not together. I just found him out in the woods, unconcious. That's all, I swear!"
Wow, I didn't know vampires could swear! Oh and Sanquinex, while you're swearing, why don't you go down to the local church and tell the priest down there your sin about not telling some very nice (and annoying) maids that you punched their boss! Then you would be sin free.
"What were you doing in the woods in the first place?" asked Gustav. I knew it was him, because basically he would be the only butler to care enough to make sure I'm okay.
"Oh umm...... Where do I put him?" Sanquinex asked, changing the subject. Apparently we both thought the same thing;
'Who in their right mind would think that this guy just fell from the sky and landed right on me! Maybe the maids would, but not Gustav.'
"Umm, how about you help me clean him up. I'm afraid the maids would fret over him and make sure every millimeter of him would be spotless," Gustav said, adding the last part only so that Sanquinex could hear him. Thankfully, I personally think those maids are killers in disguise.
"Couldn't agree more with you," I heard the vampire mutter before he followed Gustav out of the room leaving behind the gossiping maids... So that's how they know everything that happens... And it's annoying!
I should ask them to not gossip like us men, but then they'll most likely say that we do.. And they're probably right. Finding out "who's easy" could be another form of gossiping... Who cares! Atleast we only talk about that and not everything else on this planet!
.... Okay, I'm about to start bitching if we don't get to this place soon! It's kinda embarressing being carried princess style by a very hot and extremely dangerous guy here... And I like 'em dangerous. To bad he's not a cop, he could of had handcuffs then!
..... Enrique has corrupted my mind with all his little favorite fetish games....
He usually goes on and on about his favorite toys as I pretend to not listen to him and read a book at the same time across the table from him. But it's kinda hard to ignore that.
Apparently, the guy likes handcuffs, bedpost, and women with whips..... And sometimes the occasional whip cream.
...... He truely does scare me sometimes....
I can now pity Oliver at the moment. Poor guy... He doesn't own handcuffs or a whip... But I'm guessing he does own a nice leather torture outfit that he would love to show Enrique sometime...
"Okay, now put him right here and I'll go get some bandages and some fresh new clothes," Gustav said before I could hear him leaving the room we were in at the moment.
"Damnit, like I said before. You're no light-weight Robert," Sanquinex said before he layed me down on what I thought was a bed.
"You're truely one giant bastard, insulting me like that," I told him, opening my eyes once again to look at him. Remember when that Fairie girl was in the tree and I thought I need a hug, I guess I kinda got one, being held by him. To bad my soul was panicking like a gi- I mean guy!
"What I was saying was true!"
"Yeah, and you got great dental care like I told you before!"
"Yeah, my dentist suggests you should really floss before and after a meal, so whatever you eat doesn't easily get caught between your teeth."
"Funny," I told him sarcastically.
"Nah, being funny is Lupinex's job. He usually gets a bucket of cold water dumped on him when he's out on the fire escape, howling at the moon again," the vampire said as I laughed softly to myself. I guess that man was truely a dog at heart.
"Ya'll got an apartment?"
"Yeah, why?"
"I would of pictured ya'll in a secret place and stuff, being humanly challenged that is," I quickly added as he smirked at me.
"Yeah, but we're not monsters, just humanly challenged like you said. Now, to get you out of these clothes," Sanquinex said, as I realized I was still in the muddy clothes.
"Oh yeah, and besides, this padding is digging into my skin," I admitted as I started to get off my gloves and wrist protecters.
"You shouldn't move you know. You could have some injuries," the vampire said as I gave him a quizical look. "You fell down a lot you know. You aren't exactly graceful."
"On and on with the insults! Man, don't I feel loved!" I said sarcastically as I laid back down on the bed in defeat.
"You should, those maids cared a lot for you, you know?" the red-head said as he started removing my elbow pads.
"That's what they're paid to do, along with taking care of the castle," I told him as he now started to remove the knee pads now.
"I guess you're right, but what if they actually don't care about the money and only care about you and your well-being," he countered, starting to remove my boots. God, he's quick.
"I guess you beat me in that arguement," I admitted as he pulled the second boot off my foot, only leaving my chest pad left...
... Damn...
"Man, this is going to be tricky. You could be hurt. But on the other hand, it could hurt you more. Just gotta take the risk, could be fun," Sanquinex said smiling as I glared at him.
"Like I said before, funny," I told him as he started to unbuckle the pad. One bad thing in this, the pad has to go over my head to get off.
"Anything hurting?"
"No."
"Good, cause I did drop you a few times on the way over here, once a bunch of big rocks."
"I'm getting the feeling that those were no accidents."
"Maybe, maybe not," he told me, flashing me a smile...
God, he's sooo hot....
"I'm getting a vibe that says maybe not," I honestly told him as he brought the pad over my head, face lingering a little to close to mine.
Okay, I can feel my face heating up....
Okay, has anyone ever heard of the saying "SHOOT ME RIGHT NOW!"
Well guess what, you just did. And now I shall use it in a sentence in my mind.
Please, would someone shoot me right now!
"You can blink you know."
"Huh?"
I snapped out of my thoughts to see Sanquinex watching me with what I believed was a triumphant smirk.
"You weren't blinking. I thought I somehow killed you. Unfortunatly, you're not dead," the vampire told me as I blinked a couple times.
One thought ran through my mind:
'Oh he's sooo nice. God, he's nicer then Johnny!'
... That's true....
"Why don't you take a picture, I'm sure it'll last longer," I snapped at him since he kept staring at me.
"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed."
"More like woke up in the wrong person's arms."
"Atleast I didn't drag you like I was tempted to do!"
"Atleast you weren't punched out of concious!"
...... Let the "nice" war begin....
"You were talking to much!"
"It isn't my fault you asked my questions with long answers!"
"Plus you were annoying!"
"Annoying?! Annoying would be Tyson and Max on sugar high!"
"Are you on sugar high or something?!"
"Do I look like I'm on sugar high?"
"No..."
"Okay, then you can cross off your theory of me being annoying!"
"Then are you naturally annoying or something?"
"You are soo lucky i'm not allowed to move!"
"Yeah, lucky me. Like you can do any harm!"
"You're tempting me to harm you, you know!"
"Do now, thanks!"
...................... AND HE'S CALLING ME ANNOYING!
"This is going to be the longest night of my life," I moaned, rolling over on my side ignoring the no moving rule.
I don't care if I'm in muddy clothes or that my side hurts (Thanks to Sanquinex!) I just want to go back to bed and see if Fairie would let me look at that poster again.
I curled up in a ball as I heard Sanquinex leaving the room.
"'Night Robert," he told me as I held one of my hands up and easily flicked him off. Then I heard him laughing.
"Nah, maybe I'll take you up on that offer later though! 'Night!" and with that, I guess he went to find a guest room or something.
... Thank goodness to. I think I was positively glowing a bright red before I some how fell asleep...
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Review to the reviews time!
PinkDevil: I agree with you on the Sanquinex in leather part. Me and my genius mind for thinking that. You should try writing at 2 A.M. instead of sleeping, that's how I write my stories. Don't worry, I haven't ran out of blood pops yet, thankfully....
Draconicality: *glares a EXTRASUPERULTRAMEGACONCENTRATED GLARE OF DOOM at Enrique and Oliver* Don't you dare hurt Robbie! *snatchs Robert* I haven't finished torturing him yet! And besides, he's my second favorite character. Johnny is first, Sanquinex is third.... COOKIES! *eats cookies happily, not bothered by the warnings*
Silver-eyes Magican Girl: You love to laugh, don't you? I'm honored you're obsessed with my work.... For some dang reason...
Tsunami Wave: It's my secret on how much sugar I put into the water before drinking it. Thanks too!
Viper: YAY! MY STORY IS ON A FAVORITES LIST! *joins Viper in running around happily before stopping and continuing reviewing to the reviews*
Heather_Moon: YES! IT IS I! THE ALMIGHTY AUTHORESS! MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Chocolate and candies galore! YAY!!!!
Tala: NO!! JOHNNY!! *snatches Johnny* Tala, in order to kill a kid in anger management need, you must use a rubber chicken and shove it down their throat. Or, that'll just get them screaming and choking before they cough it back up.... I know, leather is sooo fecking awesome! Oh and here *gives Tala a rubber chicken and a box of tissues before giving Johnny back to him*
Darkphoenix: I'M UPDATING! I'M UPDATING! JUST DON'T TAKE AWAY WAWA AND SWUGA! *huggles glass of water mixed with sugar* Don't worry wawa and swuga, no one's going to take you from me. Not even the big men in white coats! You're alright!
How to Review to a story.
CLICK THE FECKING BUTTON AT THE BOTTOM LEFT CORNER OF THE PAGE WHEN YOU'RE DONE READING! THEN YOU ENTER YOUR NAME IN THE TOP SMALL BOX, AND THEN YOU WRITE YOUR COMMENTS ON MY STORY IN THE BIGGER BOX! THEN YOU CLICK THE BUTTON THAT SAYS SUMBITT YOUR REVIEW!
Okay, that's our lesson for today class. Now remember, if you want to read more of this story, review. If you don't, I'll fail you in my class. Thank you and class is dismissed!
Name: Fairie God Sister/Fairie/God Sister/Brat
Age in Appearance: 16 but actually looks 11
Real Age: 1652
Hair: silverish-white
Eyes: grayish-silver
Skin: pale
Height: think Ian height
Attitude: knows how to push anger buttons, mood swings easily sometimes with her, highly annoying at some points in life
Job: assigned to help homosexual males find mates and help them live happily ever after and sometimes does errands to Earth for God
Habits: never calls God God but only Boss. Example, you would say 'Oh my God.' She would say 'Oh my Boss' because God is her boss. Is also the obsessor of white. She will only wear white and white only.
Backround: Was born in mideval era. God accidentally was off aim when he was trying to give a heart attack to the neighbor but instead killed her. Since she died, God gave her the choice in helping people as a Fairie or return to Earth as a ghost since it was basically his fault she died in the first place. So she choose the Fairie one and has been helping gay guys since because since straight couples were sooo common and because she needed the challenged.
Last seen (Note: Fairie World/Heaven has faster time then Real World) in Scotland sneaking around some properties looking for something... or someone who shall not be named. *cough*Red-Head*hacker*Anger-Management needed*cough*
Disclaimer: read last chapter, it explains all
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(Robert Point's of View........ Yay....)
Okay, everyone. It's that time of the day where I have to sum up my life all in 3 seconds....
MY LIFE IS FRIGGIN FECKED UP!
Ahh danggit! That's 4 seconds!
Okay, that annoying little girl... little literally is starting to cry and say something like being fired and being banished to Hell...
SHE CAN BRING ME TOO! I'll eventually be sent there by morning! It'll be fun!
.... I WANT MY BODY BACK! AND I WANT IT NOW!
I-Am-Getting-Pissed-Off-And-Annoying-Fairie-God-Sister-Isn't-Shutting-The-Hell-UP!
Atleast she has her body! Mine is stuck with a vampire and the vamp decided to drag me off somewhere!
Oh, I will be totally screwed if I find out he's a rapist...
CAN'T HE RAPE OLIVER OR SOMETHING!
I mean, come on! To be totally honest, Oliver is better looing then me! And besides, he's still virgin! Rapist like virgins as I heard!
..... I need a hug!
'I'm not hugging you!' Fairie yelled at me from her branch. Well, she's actually floating above the branch I think. I can't see. She's in a very tall pine tree and she's at the top branch!
'Would you please go get your own mind! Mine is for my own personal thoughts!'
'Personal! I've been listening in on you for the past few days to know you better before we actually meet! I'm not the one who watches football only because of the football player's butts! Besides, your mind just screams 'LISTEN IN ON ME! I'M A PERVERTED LITTLE MIND! LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT MY FRIENDS!' Personally, I like the whole plan on how to get Johnny to fuck one of your butlers, pure genius right there!'
'I'M NOT PERVERTED!'
'Boss, and I thought I had issues!'
'STOP SAYING BOSS TOO! It's friggin annoying!' I yelled up at her. God, you'd think that Kevin kid was annoying.... And short. But man! This girl beats him by a mile!
'Stop messing with the height! Atleast I don't have helmet hair! Literally!'
'Okay! I can't help it if this is the way my hair goes! But maybe you can help your problem and drink milk!' I yelled at her as she jumped down from her spot to land infront of me... How does she do that?
'Comes with the magic. Okay, here's the deal! How about we call a truce,' Fairie concluded as I thought about it.
'If only you switch the vampire out with someone else before he kills me!'
'Don't worry, he just carried you back to the castle,' she said, scratching her nose.
'Oh that's o- WHAT THE HELL! YOU KNEW?!?!?!?!' I screamed at her as she snickered.
'I'm your Fairie God Sister remember? I have what's sorta like a 6th sense that helps see where my job is,' she explained, grinning like hell and scratching the back of her neck.
Her neck, oh how would I love right now to just snatch that neck and snap it in two!
'You kill me, I'll personally go up to the office and give Boss only good words about you, sending you straight up to Heaven with me,' she threatened.
... Damn, she was good at threatening.
'Fine, just switch him out already!'
'No can do!'
'What! But-but-but!'
'No buts mister! Once someone has been picked, it's your job to swoom them!'
'But he is nothing what I wanted!'
'You wanted, and I qoute from your own mouth, 'tall, dark, and handsome!' Un-qoute! Now tell me! Is he tall?'
I nodded...
'Is he dark?'
For God's sake! HE'S A FRIGGIN VAMPIRE! OF COURSE HE'S DARK!
'I'll take that as a yes. Finally, is he handsome? I personally think he's one fine piece of ass, but it's your choice,' Fairie said as I glared at her.
Okay, hard question. Is it a trick question?
'No,' she as she somehow pulled out a life-size poster out of her pocket... What the hell?
'Is he handsome or not?' she repeated as she unraveled the poster and pinned it to a nearby tree...
'Hell yeah,' I said flat out looking at the poster. She's been doing her homework. And I agree with her on him being one fine piece of ass too.
On the poster was Sanquinex of course, I think in Paris because of all the lights and crap. it's night time, but who cares. It looked like she took the picture as he was looking over his shoulder. Mmmm, black, silky boy-type tank top shirt tightly fitting his upper torso... And showing his strong arms perfectly...Damn, I think I'm getting a nose bleed...
'Here,' Fairie said, handing me a box of tissues she probably also got from her pants...
Mmm..... Tight blue jeans..... God, thank you for a guy who has a nice ass... JUST THANKYOU LORD!
God, the vampire can even make the boots look good on him too!
'You're drooling.'
'Do I look like I care?'
'No... do you agree with me on the ass?'
'Hell-fecking-yeah,' I told her as she started to get the poster down.
'Hey! Can I have that?' I asked her as she simply did a glare at me.
'You can go and hid in the bushes and take your own picture of him, this one is mine!'
'Aww....'
'Besides,' she started as she put the poster back into her pocket with the un-used tissues. 'You'll be waking up soon, and I don't want to get in trouble because a soul-less body will be there just staring at the ceiling. And you can't get back into your body if it's awake. And I don't want Sanquinex to punch you again, he might damage himself and I really don't want that!'
'Oh, fine, don't care for the unconcious one!' I snapped at her as she started ranting on about how good-looking Sanquinex was.
'Okay, I'm done! Okay, we got about 6 minutes and counting to get you back!'
'WHAT?!?!? I can't run 3/4ths a mile in that time!'
'......... You're a ghost you know that?'
'Yeah.....'
'Okay, flying lesson time!'
'I can fly?'
'Yeah, all ghost can when they don't have to do that haunting bullshit. Okay, just jump up and imagine that you're flying! AND HURRY!'
She's insane... BUT WHO CARES! I DON'T WANT TO GET PUNCHED AGAIN!
2 minutes later as I'm still struggling and she's trying not to laugh her head off at me...
'Okay, drastic measures!' she proclaimed as I fell into the dirt one last time. I WAS SOOO CLOSE! I stayed up for 4 seconds!
'What you're doing!'
'I'm getting out my 'broomstick!'' she said as she reached into a pocked and brought out one big ass mallet.
'Wow, must be a pain trying to sweep the floor,' I told her as she smirked at me.
'It's actually quite easy! Watch!' she commanded as she used all her and slammed the mallet (that was a few feet bigger then her) onto the ground... With a very large boom and ground shaking.
'What's supposed to hap... pen....'
I couldn't finished my sentence because her mallet just sprouted these giant wings. Okay, to note, you will only find another fictional thing like this, in Max's dream.
'Okay, no time for talking, get on!' Fairie shouted at me as she grabbed me and threw me behind her on the handle of the mallet.
'I rather run!'
'Oh no you don't! I'm not getting fired before I get my flying liscense!' she yelled as she kicked off the ground.
OH MY GOD! WE'RE FLYING ON A OVER-SIZED MALLET! HAS MAX TAKEN OVER THE WORLD WITH HIS IMAGINATION OR SOMETHING!
'No, he's actually planning on taking over the whole universe.'
'What?!'
'Don't ask! Just hold on tight!' she said one last time as the mallet speed up faster.
Thank God I landed with my legs swinged over on size. It would be a huge pain if I landed with my legs spread apart.
I immediatly grabbed her shoulders to hold on as I looked down... Big no no right there.
...... Quite a drop right there.... We're above all the trees and I can see the castle in the distance, becoming closer enery second.
'Just 3 minutes left! We'll most likely make it just in time! We could get there with 20 seconds to spare if we go faster you know!'
'Fine whatever! I just don't want to get a bruise on my face!'
And with that, I should of punched myself. We were most likely going the speed of a jet plane or something. And the castle is getting closer, and closer, only 1 minute left!
'Which room am I in?!' I asked her as she did a sharp turn to advoid hitting a bat.
'Right over here, and lucky for you the window's open!'
'Huh?!?!'
'Huston, he's good to go!'
'Hey! What are you DOING?!?!?" I yelled at her as she reached behind herself and snatched me. And then to make things worse, she threw me up in the air.
'Ready for launch! In 3, 2, 1, GO GO GO!' Fairie yelled one last time before she hit me with her mallet and through a window...... Quite harshly if you asked me...
Ack! SHE IS SOOO LUCKY THE WINDOW IS OPEN AND THE BED IS SOFT!
Okay, where am I?
'Robert! 10 seconds left! Hurry!' I heard her yell from outside the window.
I WOULD IF I COULD FIND MYSELF!
"Right this way sir, just be careful with him. He means everything to us,' came a voice outside the door. Then the door opened.
There I am being carried by somone!
I wasted no time before shooting out of the bed and jumping into my body.
'Yay! You did it Robert! You saved my job! I owe you one!' And that's the last I ever heard from her that night.... Hopefully.
Okay... Now I can see a bright light...
NOO!!! DON'T GO TOWARDS IT!!!! GO TOWARDS THE PRETTY RED ONE THAT LOOKS LIKE FLAMES!!!! Better place... IT HAS FIRE!
"Master Robert, you're awake!"
"Master Robert, oh, you're sooo dead meat when the head maid finds you!"
"Look at you Master Robert! You're covered in filth! Tabby! Go get the bath ready, and some decent clothes!"
"Oh my, Gustav, you better go get him something to eat too! He looks a little thin!"
................ Maids, can't live without them. They know how to treat you sometimes.... And other times, you just want to strangle their necks.
Okay, now I must focus my eyes. From what I can tell, the maids lite every fecking candle, lamp, and or any other thing that gives off light in the room. Can't they see, I'LL MOST LIKELY GO BLIND LIKE THIS!
"Err........ To much light!" I murmered, closing my eyes and hid my face in a shirt.... That wasn't my shirt...
All maids in room: "Awwww..... How cute!" all in their sqeauly voices.
For some reason, I feel like they're not going to let me forget this night if this is who I think it is.
My eyes instantly snapped open and focused and then looked up. Okay, look back down, back down.
"Aww, look! Robert's blushing! I know he is!" one of the maids sqeauked as I vowed to double her chore time.
"Aww, I guess Robert has a new boyfriend!" another maid guessed. Double chores for her two.
"Uhh, we're not together. I just found him out in the woods, unconcious. That's all, I swear!"
Wow, I didn't know vampires could swear! Oh and Sanquinex, while you're swearing, why don't you go down to the local church and tell the priest down there your sin about not telling some very nice (and annoying) maids that you punched their boss! Then you would be sin free.
"What were you doing in the woods in the first place?" asked Gustav. I knew it was him, because basically he would be the only butler to care enough to make sure I'm okay.
"Oh umm...... Where do I put him?" Sanquinex asked, changing the subject. Apparently we both thought the same thing;
'Who in their right mind would think that this guy just fell from the sky and landed right on me! Maybe the maids would, but not Gustav.'
"Umm, how about you help me clean him up. I'm afraid the maids would fret over him and make sure every millimeter of him would be spotless," Gustav said, adding the last part only so that Sanquinex could hear him. Thankfully, I personally think those maids are killers in disguise.
"Couldn't agree more with you," I heard the vampire mutter before he followed Gustav out of the room leaving behind the gossiping maids... So that's how they know everything that happens... And it's annoying!
I should ask them to not gossip like us men, but then they'll most likely say that we do.. And they're probably right. Finding out "who's easy" could be another form of gossiping... Who cares! Atleast we only talk about that and not everything else on this planet!
.... Okay, I'm about to start bitching if we don't get to this place soon! It's kinda embarressing being carried princess style by a very hot and extremely dangerous guy here... And I like 'em dangerous. To bad he's not a cop, he could of had handcuffs then!
..... Enrique has corrupted my mind with all his little favorite fetish games....
He usually goes on and on about his favorite toys as I pretend to not listen to him and read a book at the same time across the table from him. But it's kinda hard to ignore that.
Apparently, the guy likes handcuffs, bedpost, and women with whips..... And sometimes the occasional whip cream.
...... He truely does scare me sometimes....
I can now pity Oliver at the moment. Poor guy... He doesn't own handcuffs or a whip... But I'm guessing he does own a nice leather torture outfit that he would love to show Enrique sometime...
"Okay, now put him right here and I'll go get some bandages and some fresh new clothes," Gustav said before I could hear him leaving the room we were in at the moment.
"Damnit, like I said before. You're no light-weight Robert," Sanquinex said before he layed me down on what I thought was a bed.
"You're truely one giant bastard, insulting me like that," I told him, opening my eyes once again to look at him. Remember when that Fairie girl was in the tree and I thought I need a hug, I guess I kinda got one, being held by him. To bad my soul was panicking like a gi- I mean guy!
"What I was saying was true!"
"Yeah, and you got great dental care like I told you before!"
"Yeah, my dentist suggests you should really floss before and after a meal, so whatever you eat doesn't easily get caught between your teeth."
"Funny," I told him sarcastically.
"Nah, being funny is Lupinex's job. He usually gets a bucket of cold water dumped on him when he's out on the fire escape, howling at the moon again," the vampire said as I laughed softly to myself. I guess that man was truely a dog at heart.
"Ya'll got an apartment?"
"Yeah, why?"
"I would of pictured ya'll in a secret place and stuff, being humanly challenged that is," I quickly added as he smirked at me.
"Yeah, but we're not monsters, just humanly challenged like you said. Now, to get you out of these clothes," Sanquinex said, as I realized I was still in the muddy clothes.
"Oh yeah, and besides, this padding is digging into my skin," I admitted as I started to get off my gloves and wrist protecters.
"You shouldn't move you know. You could have some injuries," the vampire said as I gave him a quizical look. "You fell down a lot you know. You aren't exactly graceful."
"On and on with the insults! Man, don't I feel loved!" I said sarcastically as I laid back down on the bed in defeat.
"You should, those maids cared a lot for you, you know?" the red-head said as he started removing my elbow pads.
"That's what they're paid to do, along with taking care of the castle," I told him as he now started to remove the knee pads now.
"I guess you're right, but what if they actually don't care about the money and only care about you and your well-being," he countered, starting to remove my boots. God, he's quick.
"I guess you beat me in that arguement," I admitted as he pulled the second boot off my foot, only leaving my chest pad left...
... Damn...
"Man, this is going to be tricky. You could be hurt. But on the other hand, it could hurt you more. Just gotta take the risk, could be fun," Sanquinex said smiling as I glared at him.
"Like I said before, funny," I told him as he started to unbuckle the pad. One bad thing in this, the pad has to go over my head to get off.
"Anything hurting?"
"No."
"Good, cause I did drop you a few times on the way over here, once a bunch of big rocks."
"I'm getting the feeling that those were no accidents."
"Maybe, maybe not," he told me, flashing me a smile...
God, he's sooo hot....
"I'm getting a vibe that says maybe not," I honestly told him as he brought the pad over my head, face lingering a little to close to mine.
Okay, I can feel my face heating up....
Okay, has anyone ever heard of the saying "SHOOT ME RIGHT NOW!"
Well guess what, you just did. And now I shall use it in a sentence in my mind.
Please, would someone shoot me right now!
"You can blink you know."
"Huh?"
I snapped out of my thoughts to see Sanquinex watching me with what I believed was a triumphant smirk.
"You weren't blinking. I thought I somehow killed you. Unfortunatly, you're not dead," the vampire told me as I blinked a couple times.
One thought ran through my mind:
'Oh he's sooo nice. God, he's nicer then Johnny!'
... That's true....
"Why don't you take a picture, I'm sure it'll last longer," I snapped at him since he kept staring at me.
"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed."
"More like woke up in the wrong person's arms."
"Atleast I didn't drag you like I was tempted to do!"
"Atleast you weren't punched out of concious!"
...... Let the "nice" war begin....
"You were talking to much!"
"It isn't my fault you asked my questions with long answers!"
"Plus you were annoying!"
"Annoying?! Annoying would be Tyson and Max on sugar high!"
"Are you on sugar high or something?!"
"Do I look like I'm on sugar high?"
"No..."
"Okay, then you can cross off your theory of me being annoying!"
"Then are you naturally annoying or something?"
"You are soo lucky i'm not allowed to move!"
"Yeah, lucky me. Like you can do any harm!"
"You're tempting me to harm you, you know!"
"Do now, thanks!"
...................... AND HE'S CALLING ME ANNOYING!
"This is going to be the longest night of my life," I moaned, rolling over on my side ignoring the no moving rule.
I don't care if I'm in muddy clothes or that my side hurts (Thanks to Sanquinex!) I just want to go back to bed and see if Fairie would let me look at that poster again.
I curled up in a ball as I heard Sanquinex leaving the room.
"'Night Robert," he told me as I held one of my hands up and easily flicked him off. Then I heard him laughing.
"Nah, maybe I'll take you up on that offer later though! 'Night!" and with that, I guess he went to find a guest room or something.
... Thank goodness to. I think I was positively glowing a bright red before I some how fell asleep...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Review to the reviews time!
PinkDevil: I agree with you on the Sanquinex in leather part. Me and my genius mind for thinking that. You should try writing at 2 A.M. instead of sleeping, that's how I write my stories. Don't worry, I haven't ran out of blood pops yet, thankfully....
Draconicality: *glares a EXTRASUPERULTRAMEGACONCENTRATED GLARE OF DOOM at Enrique and Oliver* Don't you dare hurt Robbie! *snatchs Robert* I haven't finished torturing him yet! And besides, he's my second favorite character. Johnny is first, Sanquinex is third.... COOKIES! *eats cookies happily, not bothered by the warnings*
Silver-eyes Magican Girl: You love to laugh, don't you? I'm honored you're obsessed with my work.... For some dang reason...
Tsunami Wave: It's my secret on how much sugar I put into the water before drinking it. Thanks too!
Viper: YAY! MY STORY IS ON A FAVORITES LIST! *joins Viper in running around happily before stopping and continuing reviewing to the reviews*
Heather_Moon: YES! IT IS I! THE ALMIGHTY AUTHORESS! MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Chocolate and candies galore! YAY!!!!
Tala: NO!! JOHNNY!! *snatches Johnny* Tala, in order to kill a kid in anger management need, you must use a rubber chicken and shove it down their throat. Or, that'll just get them screaming and choking before they cough it back up.... I know, leather is sooo fecking awesome! Oh and here *gives Tala a rubber chicken and a box of tissues before giving Johnny back to him*
Darkphoenix: I'M UPDATING! I'M UPDATING! JUST DON'T TAKE AWAY WAWA AND SWUGA! *huggles glass of water mixed with sugar* Don't worry wawa and swuga, no one's going to take you from me. Not even the big men in white coats! You're alright!
How to Review to a story.
CLICK THE FECKING BUTTON AT THE BOTTOM LEFT CORNER OF THE PAGE WHEN YOU'RE DONE READING! THEN YOU ENTER YOUR NAME IN THE TOP SMALL BOX, AND THEN YOU WRITE YOUR COMMENTS ON MY STORY IN THE BIGGER BOX! THEN YOU CLICK THE BUTTON THAT SAYS SUMBITT YOUR REVIEW!
Okay, that's our lesson for today class. Now remember, if you want to read more of this story, review. If you don't, I'll fail you in my class. Thank you and class is dismissed!