Zelda: The Untold Adventure of Link
Chapter 4
Pocket lint… Link stared, dumbfounded, at the green, fuzzy pile of junk that rested in his palm. (Yes, I know, pocket lint is normally blue but Link's tunic is green). "What am I going to do with pocked lint?!" He thought frantically. As he studied this fuzzball and tried to find any usefulness to it he realized how quiet it got. He looked up and saw the horrid creature completely stupefied. It seemed entranced by what Link had pulled out of his pocket.
"You want it?" Link asked tantalizingly. The spirit panted and nodded it's head vigorously. Realizing the power he had over this monster, Link smiled deviously. He raised the lint over his head. The monster followed it. He slowly moved it from left to right. The monster followed it. He faked the monster out by pretending to toss it and the monster whirled around like a thick-headed dog expecting its master to throw a ball. Link laughed. Having had enough of this torture, Link tossed it for real. The spirit then zoomed over to fetch it, with its mouth hanging wide open and drooling and panting. Link then simply walked past it and the door opened.
"That was too easy…" Link muttered.
"…..Yeahhhh.." Navi answered. Link glanced at her indignantly as though she was being snotty. "..What?! I havent said anything in a while!" She added.
Shaking his head, Link advanced into the room. Carelessly, he began to investigate and he felt his foot sink a bit into the floor. Then he heard a click and some distant drum beats that sounded like the bongos a poet would beat on. Wondering what on earth was next, he regretfully glanced at the floor and noticed an impression which must have been a button that he stepped on.
The drumming grew louder and louder. "Ohhh crap… Ohhh butt nuggets…" Link tremored at the thought that he may really have set something off this time. The room began to shake. Small bits of debris began to rain from the ceiling. "This must be it," said Link, his voice cracking in fear. "This must be what I'm here for!"
Suddenly-- CRASH! Something burst from thin air with such a deafening noise that Link was afraid he was going to have to check his tunic and make sure he hadn't wet himself. He saw the figure straighten up, but it was dimly cloaked in shadow and clouds of mystical dust. All he could make out was a human form with some scary lumpy protrusion from its right shoulder. Then it began to speak in a slow, gruff whisper.
" 'E' before 'I' except after 'Q',
Is what I have been taught,
Me like cheese and you like too,
'X' is vowel, 'O' is not…."
Following that there was a small drum beat that ended in a flourish. During that whole speech, Link was frozen by an odd force and that force had lifted once the poem had ended. Before Link could even force this thing to come out of the shadows and show it self and insult it on its complete lack of knowledge of proper grammar, he felt a sudden pain as though he had been struck by a blunt object. "Ow!"
"The letter 'P' is not your friend,
The letter 'D' makes a *phuh* sound,
Here in this room you'll meet your end,
Helped by BAD GRAMMAR CLOWN!"
*(artistic drum beat)*
And with such strange, disturbing words, Link felt another surge of pain and the room was illuminated with green light. The figure was defined as this: A floating, face-painted man with a black artists hat on. He had on square sunglasses, black pants and a black leather jacket. He sported a slicked goatee and had a menacing look about him. He also had a wicked-looking monkey on his shoulder and two bongos strapped to his waist. For a clown, the only thing on him that remotely resembled what is widely thought of as a clown was his face. The rest seemed more like a poet. DUH. In any case, this was no doubt, the boss of this dungeon.
Chapter 4
Pocket lint… Link stared, dumbfounded, at the green, fuzzy pile of junk that rested in his palm. (Yes, I know, pocket lint is normally blue but Link's tunic is green). "What am I going to do with pocked lint?!" He thought frantically. As he studied this fuzzball and tried to find any usefulness to it he realized how quiet it got. He looked up and saw the horrid creature completely stupefied. It seemed entranced by what Link had pulled out of his pocket.
"You want it?" Link asked tantalizingly. The spirit panted and nodded it's head vigorously. Realizing the power he had over this monster, Link smiled deviously. He raised the lint over his head. The monster followed it. He slowly moved it from left to right. The monster followed it. He faked the monster out by pretending to toss it and the monster whirled around like a thick-headed dog expecting its master to throw a ball. Link laughed. Having had enough of this torture, Link tossed it for real. The spirit then zoomed over to fetch it, with its mouth hanging wide open and drooling and panting. Link then simply walked past it and the door opened.
"That was too easy…" Link muttered.
"…..Yeahhhh.." Navi answered. Link glanced at her indignantly as though she was being snotty. "..What?! I havent said anything in a while!" She added.
Shaking his head, Link advanced into the room. Carelessly, he began to investigate and he felt his foot sink a bit into the floor. Then he heard a click and some distant drum beats that sounded like the bongos a poet would beat on. Wondering what on earth was next, he regretfully glanced at the floor and noticed an impression which must have been a button that he stepped on.
The drumming grew louder and louder. "Ohhh crap… Ohhh butt nuggets…" Link tremored at the thought that he may really have set something off this time. The room began to shake. Small bits of debris began to rain from the ceiling. "This must be it," said Link, his voice cracking in fear. "This must be what I'm here for!"
Suddenly-- CRASH! Something burst from thin air with such a deafening noise that Link was afraid he was going to have to check his tunic and make sure he hadn't wet himself. He saw the figure straighten up, but it was dimly cloaked in shadow and clouds of mystical dust. All he could make out was a human form with some scary lumpy protrusion from its right shoulder. Then it began to speak in a slow, gruff whisper.
" 'E' before 'I' except after 'Q',
Is what I have been taught,
Me like cheese and you like too,
'X' is vowel, 'O' is not…."
Following that there was a small drum beat that ended in a flourish. During that whole speech, Link was frozen by an odd force and that force had lifted once the poem had ended. Before Link could even force this thing to come out of the shadows and show it self and insult it on its complete lack of knowledge of proper grammar, he felt a sudden pain as though he had been struck by a blunt object. "Ow!"
"The letter 'P' is not your friend,
The letter 'D' makes a *phuh* sound,
Here in this room you'll meet your end,
Helped by BAD GRAMMAR CLOWN!"
*(artistic drum beat)*
And with such strange, disturbing words, Link felt another surge of pain and the room was illuminated with green light. The figure was defined as this: A floating, face-painted man with a black artists hat on. He had on square sunglasses, black pants and a black leather jacket. He sported a slicked goatee and had a menacing look about him. He also had a wicked-looking monkey on his shoulder and two bongos strapped to his waist. For a clown, the only thing on him that remotely resembled what is widely thought of as a clown was his face. The rest seemed more like a poet. DUH. In any case, this was no doubt, the boss of this dungeon.