-------------------------
Lee, Sephiroth, Laguna, Rikku and Auron stepped
into the door of Maia and Lee's castle, dressed in Hawaiian clothes.
"Woah! That was a fun trip to Hawaii! Woo!"
Lee cried, slumping down on a bean bag chair.
"....How'd we get here?" Sephiroth asked,
terribly confused.
"Yeah... I mean, we were just in Kuja's house..."
Rikku said insightfully.
"We stepped out of the door, then, suddenly,
we're here, dressed in Hawaiian clothes, claiming we had just come back
from Hawaii...." Auron muttered.
"......"
Lee shrugged. "Meh. It's a clean lift. Live
with it."
Maia, Cloud and Xelloss dashed in, coming
out of a door. Maia sported an Eevee on her head. "AH! That was not a good
place!" Maia cried.
"Where were you?" Lee asked.
"You wanna see?!" Maia cried again, stepping
on a button on the floor. A large screen came down and a video clip appeared.
Utena and Anthey walked through the rose garden,
happily, smiling at each other. Maia ran past, screaming bloody murder,
a crowd of girls racing after her, hearts in their eyes.
"Maia-sama! Come back! You're soo cool and
so kawaii! WAI!!!" the girls all cried cutely.
"LEAVE ME ALONE!! I'M NOT BI!!!!" Maia screamed,
hiding behind Cloud. Xelloss smiled as winningly as he could, but the girls
all looked past him, and Cloud, to Maia.
"Leave me alone..... Let's leave! We gotta
leave! Leave now!" Maia cried, running off with Cloud and Xelloss to the
door where they could transport out.
The video clip ended and Cloud sighed, shaking
his head. "It wasn't that bad you know...."
"I HAD A GIRL TELL ME THAT, if I was willing,
SHE'D SHAG ME IN A HEARTBEAT!!!"
"......" Cloud remained silent. "Okay, it
was a good thing we left...."
Maia hugged her Eevee tightly. "*sniffles*"
Xelloss looked over at Lee and company. "So,
where were you?"
"Apparently Hawaii. Surprising, isn't it?"
Lee said.
"Hrm... We thought we saw you on a beach while
were there...." Xelloss said thoughtfully.
"Well, we don't remember a thing of it," Sephiroth
informed Xell.
"...Are you sure you weren't terribly drunk?"
Cloud asked.
"Yep."
"Well, while you were....lost in time and
space... We went to many places."
"Like...?" Lee ventured.
"Uh, lesse..." Maia began to name them off
in rapid succession. "CardCaptors world, Digimon worlds, Escaflowne world,
Yu-Gi-Oh! world, Medabots world, Pokemon world, and, of course, the Utena
world. Whee!"
"Wow," all of the heroes said.
"....So...what now?" Cloud asked. Xelloss
leaned on the wall, muttering for no reason.
Lee pondered for a moment. Abruptly, she gasped.
"I KNOW WHERE WE NEED TO GO!"
"Where?" everyone cried.
"The KINGDOM HEARTS WORLD!!!" Lee did a little
happy dance, grinning.
"............. Why?" Maia asked.
"Hee hee hee hee! I need to marry Riku, though
he doesn't know it! And, of course, we need to go and see handsome Ansem.
He's ALWAYS going on about darkness, but, we should really get to know
him! He's a funny guy. ^_^"
Auron arched an eyebrow. "Why do you want
to marry Rikku?" he asked, pointing at Rikku, who backed away.
"No! The Riku in Kingdom Hearts! He's a guy!"
she said with big grins. "A pretty guy!"
Sephiroth suddenly broke into big crocodile
tears, right in the middle of the disgusted silence. He fell to his knees
and cried and cried. Lee patted him on the head.
"Don't worry, love! I can marry you, and Riku,
and a WHOLE load of other guys!"
"Other guys?!" Sephiroth wailed. He sobbed
for a moment, then suddenly stopped the tears, stood, composed, and went
over to Maia.
"Where's the door to Kingdom Hearts?"
"Over there," she said. "Why?"
"I need to...do some....stuff....somewhere....
>_> ... _" he said suspiciously.
Maia looked at him, then at Lee, then at the
stairs leading to the door, then back to Sephy. Silently, she handed him
the manual for Kingdom Hearts, flipped open to a page and pointed to it.
"That's him..." she muttered. Sephiroth took it, folded it neatly and placed
it in his pocket, before walking up the stairs as Maia directed him. "Yep.
That's the one. That door there."
He stood at the top of the stairs. "My assassination
plans shall be flawless!" He dissolved into a bout of terribly villainous
laughter, then dashed off.
"....Assassination?" Cloud asked.
"...Assassinate who?" Lee questioned.
"Uh...duh...." Maia commented, eyes half closed
in exasperation.
"No, really, who?" Xelloss said.
"Riku, of course!" Laguna exclaimed.
"WHAT? WHY?" Lee cried.
Laguna smiled. Holding up his hand, he ticked
off his points on his fingers. "Lee want marry Riku. Sephy want marry Lee.
Sephy go hurt Riku. Ta da! I is smrt! Yay!" He grinned. (A/N: That spelling
error is intentional....)
Maia arched an eyebrow. "Your intelligence
amazes me."
Laguna did a happy dance. "I have edamucation!"
(A/N: So's that one...)
"You're a walking paradox..." Maia commented.
He started doing the "It's your birthday!"
dance. "Go I! And my edamucation! Go me! And my edamucation!"
Everyone watched him in silence for a moment,
before Auron and Rikku stated the obvious: "Shouldn't we go and stop Sephiroth?
I mean...he is out to kill someone..."
"Oh, yeah!" Lee cried. "Let's go!" They all
dashed up the stairs, besides Maia and Cloud, who strolled up the stairs,
amused expressions in their faces.
Everyone jumped into the Kingdom Hearts door,
Cloud and Maia slowly following. Cloud went "Pop!" and disappeared. Maia
blinked. "What in the...?"
Everyone landed with a bump on the grounds
of Traverse Town. Laguna didn't bother to get up, for he had somehow acquired
a book and was reading it. Lee looked closer and saw that the book "Go
Dog! Go!" -_-
"Anyways....." she muttered. Everyone got
to their feet, Maia running in circles.
"WHERE'S CLOUD?! WHERE'S CLOUD?!" she wailed,
jumping up and down. Taking a deep breath, she calmed herself. "Someone
tell me where he is..." Everyone glanced at her, with arched eyebrows.
"NOW....." she hissed. Everyone's eyes grew wide with fear.
Lee flipped through her player's guide for
Kingdom Hearts. "Cloud's in this game! Could it be that, since he exists
in both our world AND the Kingdom Hearts world that he has somehow...merged
into one? Or, maybe both Cloud's were too much for this one world, and
he disappeared altogether!" She glanced at everyone with a serious, glarey
expression. "We're through the looking glass here, people...."
Everyone stared at her in fear. "What?" she
asked, grinning. "I had to look smart in at least ONE point in this fic!"
Maia made a face. "You're not even smart in
real life! >_>"
"I'm smart! I get good grades! I'm just insane!"
Lee protested. "Look! It's a monkey!!!!" she cried and dashed towards a
tree, giggling and running in circles around the tree, where there was
really no monkey...
Auron and Rikku smirked. "She really IS insane..."
they quipped together.
"No...she's just doing this to spite me...."
Maia muttered. Grabbing Lee, she pointed her in a direction. "Look! There's
Riku!" she told Lee.
"RIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKUUUUUU!!!!" Lee screamed
and dashed towards Riku and literally glomped him. Sitting on top of him,
she huggled him to bits, before he even knew what had happened.
"Wha...?" he asked, dazed. He shook his pretty
silver hair from his eyes and blinked. "Who...?"
"Riku! Riku! Riku! Riku! Riku! Riku!" she
cried, every time she huggled him. "I'm here to marry you!"
"Huh? O_O" he asked, trying to breathe.
"I'm gonna maaaaarry you! RikuRikuRikuRikuRikuRiku!"
She hugged him some more.
Maia made another face. "Now that that disgusting
display of overcrush is over..." Lee continued to hug a dazed and confused
Riku. "I said OVER!" Lee glared at Maia and got to her feet, pulling Riku
up, then jumped on him and rode piggy back on him, her arms around his
shoulders and her legs around his waist.
(A/N: Lee: Bliss! ^o^ And not sick bliss, you crazy
people! XD
Maia: ..... >_>)
Riku looked around at everyone. "Wha? O_o"
Lee grinned. "I'm Lee! And I'm gonna marry
you! ^o^"
".....O_o"
Lee huggled him some more. "Aww.... You're
so cute!"
Riku grinned. "I can't argue with that, though
I'd say I'm more...terribly bishounen, than cute...."
Lee giggled and pinched his cheeks (A/N: Baby
fat! ^o^).
Maia rolled her eyes. "This is sooooo dumb...
We need to find Cloud!" She thought for a moment. "And Sephiroth..." she
said, as an afterthought. "If you'll excuse me..." She snapped her fingers
and suddenly her clothes shimmered and altered. Whee! Kingdom Hearts type
clothes!" She looked down at her feet. "Ah! Oh.... Big shoes... Big...Disney....shoes..."
She winced.
Riku looked at her. "Disney?"
Lee giggled and snapped her fingers, her clothes
changing too. "Whee! Big shoes! Big kawaii shoes!" She swung her feet a
couple of times. Maia made a face. She took off one of her shoes and threw
it at Lee.
"Gah! Ow, ow, ow, ow..." Lee cried. Riku blinked.
"Ohh... Don't hurt her..."
Maia muttered darkly and picked up the shoe
and took off her other one and stuffed them both with paper. "How am I
gonna walk in these....?" she snarled.
They all started off in the direction of...wait,
where ARE they going? O_o
"Where ARE we going?" Xelloss asked. Maia
razzed him.
"We're going....there!" She pointed at a large
dark tower, dark clouds forming around it.
"Why there?" he asked once more. She razzed
him again.
"Because! You always hit the evil looking
places first!"
Suddenly Leon, Aerith and Yuffie ran in. Laguna
stared at Leon with wide eyes.
"OH MY HOLY FREAKIN' GOD!" Yuffie screamed.
"When did THAT--" she pointed at the tower "--get there?!" She bounced
around, flinging herself onto Leon's back. "SQUALL! TELL ME!"
"That's Leon! ...*mumble* >_>" he muttered
at her, throwing her off at Aerith. Aerith caught Yuffie and dumped her
unceremoniously to the ground.
"I think it's some evil presence!" she cried,
striking a pose.
"....Well, no, really?" Leon said sarcastically.
Maia nodded at Leon. "I like your attitude!"
She went over to him and stuck out her hand. "I'm Maia! ^____^v"
Lee giggled while still riding Riku piggyback.
"Uh... This is our group!" Maia cried, laughing
a little. Leon nodded. "Xelloss, Auron, Rikku-female, Laguna, Riku-male,
and....the crazy one... Her name is Lee.... >_>"
"I resent that!" Lee cried, glaring at Maia.
"Yeah, well.... >_>"
There was a long awkward silence, and a tumbleweed
rolled across the ground. Auron broke the silence by squealing and chasing
after the tumbleweed, stomping it into little bits.
"Uh....?" Leon asked, arching an eyebrow.
"He has a bit of an...issue....with tumbleweeds..."
Xelloss supplied quietly, shaking his head sympathetically.
"..." Leon said nothing.
"..... Let's go to the castle!" Lee cried,
huggling Riku around the neck. Riku gagged a little, grinning foolishly.
"Help...me..." he squeaked pitifully.
"But, we need to find Cloud!"
"Castle!"
"Cloud!"
"Castle!"
"Cloud!"
"Cas--"
"Shut up!" Leon shouted, placing his hand
over Maia's mouth, while taking off his shoe and throwing it at Lee, who
got knocked unconscious. She slid off of Riku's back. Riku jumped around.
"I'm free!" he cried happily. Then he kneeled
beside Lee and tried to fan her awake. "Aww... Poor girl.... She's nice,
just...scary. O_o"
Maia glared at Leon. "We have to find CLOUD!"
"You worry about him abnormally much..." Aerith
said.
Yuffie giggled like a little school girl.
"SOMEone likes SOMEone else!"
"...." Maia said nothing.
Leon patted Maia on the head. "Ah, yes, the
dots. A great conversational asset."
"...."
"Holy HELL, you're good at that!" Leon cried,
giving Maia a big thumbs up.
Maia fumed and smacked Leon over the head.
"Gah! Crazy people! >_"
"SOMEone likes SOMEone else!" Yuffie said
again, in a singsong voice. Maia tackled her and placed a hand over the
ninja's mouth.
"Quiet you...." Maia hissed poisonously.
Rikku stepped in, Auron at her side. "I THINK
we've determined this fact, so let's forget about it and go into the castle,
ne?"
Maia glared and stood and brushed herself
off, scowling around at everyone, even at Lee, who was just waking up,
and had had nothing to do with the argument. Riku patted Lee on the head
and picked her up, holding her in his arms.
Sitting in the shadows of an alley, a dark
figure watched them, its eyes narrowed. It turned, to go deeper into the
shadows, but smashed into a garbage can, knocking it over. The figure cursed,
trying to pick it up, but only failed and knocked over another garbage
can, which, for some reason, was filled with marbles. The marbles tumbled
out over the concrete ground, making even more noise. The figure swore
and turned to run away, tripping over one of the lids and falling forwards,
face first into a brick wall. Sephiroth fell backwards, knocking over another
garbage can in the process, which had jingle bells in it, which all clattered
to the ground, ringing as well.
Amazingly, no one seemed to notice all of
this, or even hear it. -_-
The whole party began to walk away, in the
direction of the castle/tower thingy.
Sephiroth lay in the alleyway, completely
unconscious. A walking teenage girl passed Sephiroth, halted and looked
back at him. She giggled and grabbed his hand, dragging him away.
"Ooh! You're coming with me! Oh, ho, ho, ho,
ho! That'll show Sora for cheating on me with Riku! Yes, yes it will!"
Why would raping Sephiroth have any affect
on Sora? I dunno. Only in Kairi's twisted little mind does this work....
Poor Sephiroth.
---------------------
TBC
Disclaimer: We do not own Final Fantasy, any animes mentioned, or Kingdom Hearts.