Max had finally caught up with Logan. He was standing near the coffee machine, a far off and sad look in his eyes. She took a dramatic deep breath and approached him slowly. She tapped lightly on his shoulder and he wheeled around dramatically to face her and give her a dramatically hurt look.
"What?" He demanded. "If you've come to find my heart, you will not find it with me, for it is now on the bottom of your shoes."
Max clutched dramatically at her heart as she does so well. "Logan, please. You must believe me! I've never seen Blane before in my life!"
"Those incriminating photos would suggest otherwise, wouldn't they?"
"He made them in a Photoshop program, Logan, I swear!" Max sniffled. "I've never even been to Spain!"
"But you have been on trains and planes!" Logan shot back, his voice dramatically booming.
Max looked away. She knew what he said was true. She had been on planes and trains, and she had even been near a Great Dane. She turned back to him, determined. "Logan, would I have this tattoo if what I was saying wasn't true?"
The Dark Angel theme song plays, but slower and more whimsical. Slowly everything fades out and flashes of Max, Logan, Original Cindy, Alec, Kendra, and whatever random people and what have you zip by. Then everything comes back in focus...
She started to unbutton her pants, preparing to show him his name that was tattooed on her ass. She had gotten the tattoo after drinking mighty heavily (thank God her friends had stepped in to stop her alcoholism!) and a game of checkers with Original Cindy.
"Don't bother." Logan told her. "I've seen it."
"I know." She said and buttoned her pants back up. "Just sayin'."
It was then Blane came upon the scene. He looked from Logan to Max. Logan to Max. Logan to Max. Logan to Max. Logan to Max. Logan to Max. Logan to -
"Enough!" Max yelled. "Enough of your lies!"
Blane shoved the photos in her face. "Lies? Oh ho, Max, we all know the truth!"
"Yes, and it is that you are lying!" She exclaimed. "I have never been to Spain with you, Blane!"
"But she's been on trains and planes!" Logan crossed his arms dramatically.
"And so have you, Logan." Blane said, shoving the photos into Max's arms.
"So?"
"So?" Blane chuckled evilly. No drama this time. Just evil. "So, dear Logan, so... was our father."
"My fath - wait, our father? Who art not in heaven?" Logan was in disbelief. Dramatically.
"Oh my God!" Max squealed in realization and horror. She dropped the photos to the ground and made the 'Home Alone' face.
"It can't be!" Logan exclaimed.
"But it can and it is!" Blane exclaimed and dramatically revealed the blood tests that certainly proved it. "Our father had a wandering eye, Logan."
"No!"
"He met a woman named Sandra in New York."
"No!"
"Long story short, dear brother, you and I are... brothers. Due to that affair I just told you about!" Dramatically.
"No!" Logan exclaimed.
"But where do I factor in?" Max asked. "Why me?"
"Because," Blane explained. "All these years I've known about my no good father and Logan here. Logan's had everything I wanted and now I plan to take all that he has! Ahahaha!"
"You can't just take me." Max said angrily. "I'll kick your ass!"
"Or will you?"
Everyone gasped dramatically and turned to see.... Zack! He was standing in the shadows. He made his way over to the group and stood next to Blane.
"Or will you, Maxie?"
"Zack! What are you doing here?" Max exclaimed. Dramatically.
"I came with Blane." Zack told her. "He made me an offer I couldn't refuse."
Blane cleared that up. "After I'm done with you, he gets you."
"What!?" Max exclaimed. More pissed than dramatically.
"It's the perfect plan!" Blane said. "After I rub it in Logan's face that I have taken you, I'll no longer need you. But Zack here has been obsessed with you for a very long time and will make very good use of you."
Zack licked his lips and reached to touch Max's bouncy, curly, etc. hair. She swatted his hand away and went to hide behind Logan. Logan stepped away, however.
"You've been on planes and trains!" He exclaimed. "And now you shall have your just desserts!"
He then stormed furiously down the hallway.
"I don't want dessert!" Max exclaimed. "I want to continue eating the main course! Surf and turf! It's delicious! Wait for me, Logan!"
She tried to run after him, but Zack grabbed the back of her shirt and effectively stopped her.
"Fiend!" Max exclaimed.
"You'll go so well with my furniture." Zack said, a dramatic desire in his voice.
Next time, on AS THE SPACE NEEDLE TURNS...
"It's hard to forget those incriminating photos, you know." He relaxed a bit. He was ready to forgive her for being on trains and planes, when suddenly...
Tune in next time to find out what happens!