Revised version) ;)
One Sweet Day
DISCLAIMER: This character Angel is not my idea, he is created by
Joss Whedon, and portrayed by David Boreanaz. The song lyrics are
from Mariah Carey, featuring Boyz To Men.
RATE: PG
SPOILER: Season 5 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, `The Gift'
Author's note: This is the grieving process in which Angel deals
with when he learns that his beloved, Buffy, has died. It is viewed
through his POV. The lyrics of this sad tune are the words and
thoughts of the character Angel.
TIP: To capture the true image of voice of this song and its
meaning, listen to the song `One Sweet Day', by Maria Carey.
The solemn look on her face of despair sucked me in. The air pulled
me in like a vacuum, and the silence was unbearable. All I had to do
was note the forlorn expression on her best friend's face, and I
knew....I just knew. As my still heart dropped to my feet, and my
palor skin flushed even more pale than white, my whole world ceased
to turn. I had always convinced myself with each excruciating day
that she was better off without me. That I could live a lie for the
rest of my insufficient days of this everlasting sorrow and torture
of my deep dark past, and the intolerable knowledge that I had given
up Buffy for the sake of her to lead a more bright future, without my
cursed soul.
A whirlpool of emotions seemed to just toil me and wash my spark of
hope which still resided in my soul deep within that Buffy would live
on and prosper. She would battle all things vicious, because she was
good. She had a pure heart in which no other possessed. And now,
that tiny flame which powered my worthless being, was wiped away. It
was evitable. As obvious as the mourning expression which consumed
Willow whole, as she rose shakily to her feet and slowly shook her
head with nothing said. And then my heart sinks as her soundless
illustration stings me into a dismal stun of authenticity. I oculd
not fathom what her manifestation meant, but I had known right away.
Buffy, my sweet love, was gone. I would never see my precious
again. And it was over. Over for her, and now, it had ended for
me. All I knew now was the agony of bitter grief and insufferable
pain that throbbed in my chest like incessant explosions. My first
and most worst fear; no, nightmare, had come true. It had gotten the
best of her. Now I felt pangs of nothing but guilt, and a burning
sensation which had quelled there for moments upon end, came a
torrent of tears that blinded me. I should have been there...I should
have protected her from this awful affliction. Why should she of all
people suffer this unfair fatality; this evil sentence?! Damn it, I
should have told her, before it was too late. And now, it was.
`Sorry I never told you
All I wanted to say
And now it's too late to hold you
'Cause you've flown away
So far away'
Never had I imagined
Living without your smile
Feeling and knowing you hear me
It keeps me alive
Alive'
After I finally overcame the doubt in my mind; the disbelief and
poignant denial that my Buffy could have died...I fell apart. Willow
had explained to me what my slayer had done. She was a martyr. She
always had been. She had sacrificed herself to rid the world of the
malevolent poisonous plague which would have swept all over the world
and rid it of humanity. And now, her angelic soul...those endearing
eyes that I could just drown myself in and get lost into another
world of peace and happiness that I had never knew, her long silky
rivulet of spun gold in which I would run through my hands, and feel
the softness, the way I held her petite body...she fit so perfectly in
my arms. She was so easy to hold, she'd just melt into my embrace.
And I'd hold her forever if I could. Oh, if only I could. But we
didn't get second chances. Or, had I evaded it?
I remember braking down in a pit of bewailing and a suction which
swallowed me whole. My whole mind spun like a merry-go-round, and
nothing else made sense to me. I recall plenty of arms reaching for
me. But I wanted to be left alone. I had to deal with this great
loss, and I wanted no one else to comfort me. No, the only one who
could ever do that, who could ever make anything right ever again,
was her. Buffy. My love who'd I'd failed to shield from all the
deadly fate. I blamed myself, I blamed her. How dare she leave me
like that! I didn't even get to say goodbye to her.
I choked back a river of desolation, regret moistened and rolled
down my cheeks. Reality stabbed me directly in the chest with every
reverberating memory of her delicate voice; so sweet and so loving.
Buffy was always so caring. She'd told me once, that she'd die even
for me, and almost had. Oh, and I'd have done anything for her to
still be here. If only...if only...I had been there...I had just seen her
only a week ago, and now, she was gone. But, where was she? I asked
myself in a trembling mutter as I gasped to find my life. I had the
wind and my whole meaning for existing knocked clear out of me. As
my lament filled eyes fluttered upward to look above, I silently
began to sob like a baby, rocking myself in a corner for at least of
crumb of peace to know she was there....with me...in heaven...
'And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day'
Why was she gone? Why had this happened to such a tender-hearted
person like her!? Why did Buffy die, why oh why? I hollered out,
screaming until my voice was gruff and raspy. I rang my fists into
knuckles and I pounded the walls until I bled. Then I began to pull
out my hair, as the downpour of all of our past times, both good and
bad, rushed over me like icy-rigid water. I shook with terror as I
knew within myself that it was my fault. I had stubbornly refused to
stay with her, though her somber eyes looked up at me, and she
begged me a million times over. I had betrayed my lover. And I
hated myself for it. Such an innocent girl like her shouldn't have
died such an agonizing death. She should have grown old, like I'd
wanted her to. I had disappointed her so, by leaving her...attempting
to make her realize that she didn't need me. But I needed her,
though I wouldn't say it. There are so many things I wanted to let
her know, so much left suppressed in my heart. I deeply cared and
loved this woman. And I wanted her to live long and be happy. And
now, she wouldn't be able to.
As I reached up to the sky of my dark room in my bleak persecution, I
whispered gently up to my Buffy...that "I was so, so ,so sorry....and
that if she were to come back to me, I wouldn't ever leave her side
again." I would take care of her and love her like I had promised,
and then broken my word..." I clutched my scalp and I squeeze my eyes
shut. Oh, how the blinding pain erupted within me, like a burning
fire of inferno and anguish and pure misery drenched me and I cried
until there were was no more. Until I was weak with sorrow dejection
and an aching, broken heart.
'Darling, I never showed you
Assumed you'd always be there
I took your presence for granted
But I always cared
And I miss the love we shared
And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way'
It was a fact, and I couldn't ignore it. It glared at me in the
face, that I had taken her rare love for granted. I had thought that
she would abound over everything, all of the obstacles that she would
come across. I believed she was strong, and she could endure.
Never, in a million years of my eternal torment had I expected this
blow. How could have something just gotten to her? Buffy was the
Slayer and she was powerful. Even her priceless love was so
prevailing that it would take one small kiss form her sensual lips,
and I was done in. And the way she'd nuzzle under my chin and hold
me to her, she owned enough energy to empower me and engross me in a
way no other could have managed. It was impossible...but with Buffy,
she could do anything. The way she had made me feel...the way I would
become so nervous at the mere sight of her glistening smile and her
sparkling eyes, I was captivated. Buffy had enthralled me and
changed me completely. And I owed so much of a debt to her. And
now, I couldn't ever repay her for what she had done for me. But
what could I have done for her? I manifest a loud outburst of
bereavement, as I begrudge myself for ever hurting her. Buffy never
deserved it. What she had deserved was my loyalty. And now, I had
to endure without the joy she had unselfishly bestowed upon me.
`Sorry I never told you
All I wanted to say
And now it's too late to hold you
'Cause you've flown away
So far away
Never had I imagined
Living without your smile
Feeling and knowing you hear me
It keeps me alive
Alive'
I know her spirit wouldn't die that easily. I had thrived on the
faith that her spirit was potent, and that nothing could destroy it.
But this was too futile. All of me held on so dear to what she was,
and what she meant to me. Her saccharine essence, and her
effervescent laugh which was like a mantra of melodious rapture. IT
was the only thing in this world which had enough supremacy to lull
me.
But I didn't want any consolation. I didn't want anyone to lie to me
and to tell me that it was okay. It wasn't. I just wanted her
back. I wanted to turn back time. But it was too merciless, her
shadowy fate. It had relentlessly claimed her and ripped her away
from me, tearing my very soul out of my body. I had been dead for so
long, and when we first touched...I had been resurrected alive again.
But now, with her dead...I was dead too. And as I whimpered throughout
the harsh cold night, I could feel her presence. Because at least, I
knew she loved me.
'And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day
Darling, I never showed you
Assumed you'd always be there
I took your presence for granted
But I always cared
And I miss the love we shared
And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day'
My life would never, ever be the same without her. She had showed me
so many new things, she had taught me to love, and I had learned to
be loved. We had had enjoyed so many moments together, and we had
explored one another's worlds. She had articulated her hopes and
dreams, and I had told her she could conquer it all.
I had vowed to love her, and she had given me the honest pledge that
her heart would go out to no one else. That I had it. I recall her
tracing her finger down to the right of my chest, and stopping at
where my heart was. Or used to be. She had given me her girlish
grin and said, "Here, is where my heart is. I'm with you." I had
kissed the top of her head and we had spent a night together, just in
each other's arms. The world had been a safe and secure place. And
now, as I crumble under the pressure of my depression that she is
isn't here anymore, I hug my pillow tight, as if it is her. I curl
myself in a ball of pure self loathe and the surrender to go on
without Buffy. I cannot go on, I will not go on. There is no more
reason to, not without her.
'Although the sun will never shine the same
I'll always look to a brighter day
Lord I know when I lay me down to sleep
You will always listen as I pray
As I fall under a light slumber, since the grueling reality is too
much to bare anymore, a faint smile tugs at my lips, as I see her...and
she is walking towards me in all of her radiance, her marveling
beauty and her elegant strides. Her vibrant smile glows like the
sunshine of her hair, and we are together once again...but only in my
dreams...
'And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day''
I look upon her gorgeous face, as she takes my hands in hers. I am
mesmerized by her luminous charm and her dazzling splendor. The most
magnificent creature to ever return my love. Her eyes are like
ablazing emeralds that make me buckle at the knees all over again. I
am in awe, as I gaze at her, like in an intense trance. My mouth can
barely muster a sound. She hushes me with a soft touch of her finger
to my lips. She gradually shakes her head, as her shimmering white
gown sways with her slender body, and her starry eyes glaze over at
the appearance of my sadness. She frowns for a moment, and then
eases me closer to her. I can smell her vanilla aroma again, as I
breath it in like the first gulp of air form a drowning man. I too,
am teary eyed and I again try to say what I had always wanted to, but
she nods and tells me in her sing-song intonation, "I love you. I
will always....love you. But this is the work I had to do. Angel, the
hardest thing in this world, is to live in it...and I am okay..."
I inhale and I can't stop myself as I engross myself in her wonderful
eyes and cry. She takes my face in her affectionate hands and she
lightly returns with the sweet brushes of her lips, "and so are
you. I am with you, in you heart." Buffy slides her hand down to my
breast and then she stares ardently into my eyes. As we share a
zealous kiss, I take Buffy's hand and engulf it inside my palms,
never wanting her to slip through my fingers ever again. I drop a
fervent kiss on the back of her hand, as if were the most cherished
treasure I had ever attained.
Buffy mildly strokes at where my heart is and looks sternly into my
eyes with all of the adulation she esteems me in. I once again
strain myself to explicate how much I had always cared for her, and
how bottomless my love runs for her, and that I wouldn't ever forsake
her again. "Buffy, I..._" But Buffy stalls me as she quickly leans
even closer to my mouth with a tentative kiss. Her succulent lips
feel so real, so sweet like honey as I remembered. She then quietly
murmurs, "I know. I know. I heard you. I'll always be with you,
and I will always hear you."
'And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day...'
Her placid eyes seem to express more passionate love than I ever
thought possible and, shockingly, it appeases me with a familiar
comfort in which I cannot even begin to justify. As she cups my chin
in both of her hands, I reach up and I grab one fondly. As I hunger
for her again, I hold it to my cheek, and she sensitively caresses my
face. My free hand wraps around her waist and I rub the small of her
back. I just want this time to last. I never want to go back to the
way I was. I am useless and empty without her, like a hallow shell.
"I need you...please..." I sigh out with a supplication to my darling.
Buffy purses her lips together and sincerely rubs her thumb over my
brow, as if memorizing me by touch all over again.
I let my eyes flutter closed to relax and indulge in this enchanting
moment, and then I open my eyes to seek hers. She gives me her sassy
grin that I fell in love with the first time I laid eyes on her, and
she adds pleasantly, "We will be together again, my love." And with
an eternal kiss of love that seals our endless and perpetual love we
have for one another, our lips meet once again as I drink her in, and
her promise penetrates deep within my soul that is restored. Because
I believe my lover that we *will* be with each other again. One
sweet day.
'....Sorry I never told you
All I wanted to say'
It was then that an excited female voice erupted my thoughts and my
reminisce in which I had drifted off to sleep with. I awoke with a
shudder at the rapid realism and actuality of the callous morning
day. As I viewed my surroundings in my twisted sheets that indicated
a restless night, though Buffy had gifted me with amazing grace that
tranquilized my trepidations after I had reluctantly found out about
her death. I squinted my eyes to see Cordelia, with a jovial
countenance. And it alarmed me . I was about to bark back at her in
a malicious retort that I wished to be alone as she had rudely irked
me out of my blissful slumber, until she ecstatically shrieked aloud
with a sounding declaration "She's alive!! Buffy, she's alive!"
Please do not use this fiction, unless granted permission. I do have
this date and fiction already on a website. Thank you.
One Sweet Day
DISCLAIMER: This character Angel is not my idea, he is created by
Joss Whedon, and portrayed by David Boreanaz. The song lyrics are
from Mariah Carey, featuring Boyz To Men.
RATE: PG
SPOILER: Season 5 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, `The Gift'
Author's note: This is the grieving process in which Angel deals
with when he learns that his beloved, Buffy, has died. It is viewed
through his POV. The lyrics of this sad tune are the words and
thoughts of the character Angel.
TIP: To capture the true image of voice of this song and its
meaning, listen to the song `One Sweet Day', by Maria Carey.
The solemn look on her face of despair sucked me in. The air pulled
me in like a vacuum, and the silence was unbearable. All I had to do
was note the forlorn expression on her best friend's face, and I
knew....I just knew. As my still heart dropped to my feet, and my
palor skin flushed even more pale than white, my whole world ceased
to turn. I had always convinced myself with each excruciating day
that she was better off without me. That I could live a lie for the
rest of my insufficient days of this everlasting sorrow and torture
of my deep dark past, and the intolerable knowledge that I had given
up Buffy for the sake of her to lead a more bright future, without my
cursed soul.
A whirlpool of emotions seemed to just toil me and wash my spark of
hope which still resided in my soul deep within that Buffy would live
on and prosper. She would battle all things vicious, because she was
good. She had a pure heart in which no other possessed. And now,
that tiny flame which powered my worthless being, was wiped away. It
was evitable. As obvious as the mourning expression which consumed
Willow whole, as she rose shakily to her feet and slowly shook her
head with nothing said. And then my heart sinks as her soundless
illustration stings me into a dismal stun of authenticity. I oculd
not fathom what her manifestation meant, but I had known right away.
Buffy, my sweet love, was gone. I would never see my precious
again. And it was over. Over for her, and now, it had ended for
me. All I knew now was the agony of bitter grief and insufferable
pain that throbbed in my chest like incessant explosions. My first
and most worst fear; no, nightmare, had come true. It had gotten the
best of her. Now I felt pangs of nothing but guilt, and a burning
sensation which had quelled there for moments upon end, came a
torrent of tears that blinded me. I should have been there...I should
have protected her from this awful affliction. Why should she of all
people suffer this unfair fatality; this evil sentence?! Damn it, I
should have told her, before it was too late. And now, it was.
`Sorry I never told you
All I wanted to say
And now it's too late to hold you
'Cause you've flown away
So far away'
Never had I imagined
Living without your smile
Feeling and knowing you hear me
It keeps me alive
Alive'
After I finally overcame the doubt in my mind; the disbelief and
poignant denial that my Buffy could have died...I fell apart. Willow
had explained to me what my slayer had done. She was a martyr. She
always had been. She had sacrificed herself to rid the world of the
malevolent poisonous plague which would have swept all over the world
and rid it of humanity. And now, her angelic soul...those endearing
eyes that I could just drown myself in and get lost into another
world of peace and happiness that I had never knew, her long silky
rivulet of spun gold in which I would run through my hands, and feel
the softness, the way I held her petite body...she fit so perfectly in
my arms. She was so easy to hold, she'd just melt into my embrace.
And I'd hold her forever if I could. Oh, if only I could. But we
didn't get second chances. Or, had I evaded it?
I remember braking down in a pit of bewailing and a suction which
swallowed me whole. My whole mind spun like a merry-go-round, and
nothing else made sense to me. I recall plenty of arms reaching for
me. But I wanted to be left alone. I had to deal with this great
loss, and I wanted no one else to comfort me. No, the only one who
could ever do that, who could ever make anything right ever again,
was her. Buffy. My love who'd I'd failed to shield from all the
deadly fate. I blamed myself, I blamed her. How dare she leave me
like that! I didn't even get to say goodbye to her.
I choked back a river of desolation, regret moistened and rolled
down my cheeks. Reality stabbed me directly in the chest with every
reverberating memory of her delicate voice; so sweet and so loving.
Buffy was always so caring. She'd told me once, that she'd die even
for me, and almost had. Oh, and I'd have done anything for her to
still be here. If only...if only...I had been there...I had just seen her
only a week ago, and now, she was gone. But, where was she? I asked
myself in a trembling mutter as I gasped to find my life. I had the
wind and my whole meaning for existing knocked clear out of me. As
my lament filled eyes fluttered upward to look above, I silently
began to sob like a baby, rocking myself in a corner for at least of
crumb of peace to know she was there....with me...in heaven...
'And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day'
Why was she gone? Why had this happened to such a tender-hearted
person like her!? Why did Buffy die, why oh why? I hollered out,
screaming until my voice was gruff and raspy. I rang my fists into
knuckles and I pounded the walls until I bled. Then I began to pull
out my hair, as the downpour of all of our past times, both good and
bad, rushed over me like icy-rigid water. I shook with terror as I
knew within myself that it was my fault. I had stubbornly refused to
stay with her, though her somber eyes looked up at me, and she
begged me a million times over. I had betrayed my lover. And I
hated myself for it. Such an innocent girl like her shouldn't have
died such an agonizing death. She should have grown old, like I'd
wanted her to. I had disappointed her so, by leaving her...attempting
to make her realize that she didn't need me. But I needed her,
though I wouldn't say it. There are so many things I wanted to let
her know, so much left suppressed in my heart. I deeply cared and
loved this woman. And I wanted her to live long and be happy. And
now, she wouldn't be able to.
As I reached up to the sky of my dark room in my bleak persecution, I
whispered gently up to my Buffy...that "I was so, so ,so sorry....and
that if she were to come back to me, I wouldn't ever leave her side
again." I would take care of her and love her like I had promised,
and then broken my word..." I clutched my scalp and I squeeze my eyes
shut. Oh, how the blinding pain erupted within me, like a burning
fire of inferno and anguish and pure misery drenched me and I cried
until there were was no more. Until I was weak with sorrow dejection
and an aching, broken heart.
'Darling, I never showed you
Assumed you'd always be there
I took your presence for granted
But I always cared
And I miss the love we shared
And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way'
It was a fact, and I couldn't ignore it. It glared at me in the
face, that I had taken her rare love for granted. I had thought that
she would abound over everything, all of the obstacles that she would
come across. I believed she was strong, and she could endure.
Never, in a million years of my eternal torment had I expected this
blow. How could have something just gotten to her? Buffy was the
Slayer and she was powerful. Even her priceless love was so
prevailing that it would take one small kiss form her sensual lips,
and I was done in. And the way she'd nuzzle under my chin and hold
me to her, she owned enough energy to empower me and engross me in a
way no other could have managed. It was impossible...but with Buffy,
she could do anything. The way she had made me feel...the way I would
become so nervous at the mere sight of her glistening smile and her
sparkling eyes, I was captivated. Buffy had enthralled me and
changed me completely. And I owed so much of a debt to her. And
now, I couldn't ever repay her for what she had done for me. But
what could I have done for her? I manifest a loud outburst of
bereavement, as I begrudge myself for ever hurting her. Buffy never
deserved it. What she had deserved was my loyalty. And now, I had
to endure without the joy she had unselfishly bestowed upon me.
`Sorry I never told you
All I wanted to say
And now it's too late to hold you
'Cause you've flown away
So far away
Never had I imagined
Living without your smile
Feeling and knowing you hear me
It keeps me alive
Alive'
I know her spirit wouldn't die that easily. I had thrived on the
faith that her spirit was potent, and that nothing could destroy it.
But this was too futile. All of me held on so dear to what she was,
and what she meant to me. Her saccharine essence, and her
effervescent laugh which was like a mantra of melodious rapture. IT
was the only thing in this world which had enough supremacy to lull
me.
But I didn't want any consolation. I didn't want anyone to lie to me
and to tell me that it was okay. It wasn't. I just wanted her
back. I wanted to turn back time. But it was too merciless, her
shadowy fate. It had relentlessly claimed her and ripped her away
from me, tearing my very soul out of my body. I had been dead for so
long, and when we first touched...I had been resurrected alive again.
But now, with her dead...I was dead too. And as I whimpered throughout
the harsh cold night, I could feel her presence. Because at least, I
knew she loved me.
'And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day
Darling, I never showed you
Assumed you'd always be there
I took your presence for granted
But I always cared
And I miss the love we shared
And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day'
My life would never, ever be the same without her. She had showed me
so many new things, she had taught me to love, and I had learned to
be loved. We had had enjoyed so many moments together, and we had
explored one another's worlds. She had articulated her hopes and
dreams, and I had told her she could conquer it all.
I had vowed to love her, and she had given me the honest pledge that
her heart would go out to no one else. That I had it. I recall her
tracing her finger down to the right of my chest, and stopping at
where my heart was. Or used to be. She had given me her girlish
grin and said, "Here, is where my heart is. I'm with you." I had
kissed the top of her head and we had spent a night together, just in
each other's arms. The world had been a safe and secure place. And
now, as I crumble under the pressure of my depression that she is
isn't here anymore, I hug my pillow tight, as if it is her. I curl
myself in a ball of pure self loathe and the surrender to go on
without Buffy. I cannot go on, I will not go on. There is no more
reason to, not without her.
'Although the sun will never shine the same
I'll always look to a brighter day
Lord I know when I lay me down to sleep
You will always listen as I pray
As I fall under a light slumber, since the grueling reality is too
much to bare anymore, a faint smile tugs at my lips, as I see her...and
she is walking towards me in all of her radiance, her marveling
beauty and her elegant strides. Her vibrant smile glows like the
sunshine of her hair, and we are together once again...but only in my
dreams...
'And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day''
I look upon her gorgeous face, as she takes my hands in hers. I am
mesmerized by her luminous charm and her dazzling splendor. The most
magnificent creature to ever return my love. Her eyes are like
ablazing emeralds that make me buckle at the knees all over again. I
am in awe, as I gaze at her, like in an intense trance. My mouth can
barely muster a sound. She hushes me with a soft touch of her finger
to my lips. She gradually shakes her head, as her shimmering white
gown sways with her slender body, and her starry eyes glaze over at
the appearance of my sadness. She frowns for a moment, and then
eases me closer to her. I can smell her vanilla aroma again, as I
breath it in like the first gulp of air form a drowning man. I too,
am teary eyed and I again try to say what I had always wanted to, but
she nods and tells me in her sing-song intonation, "I love you. I
will always....love you. But this is the work I had to do. Angel, the
hardest thing in this world, is to live in it...and I am okay..."
I inhale and I can't stop myself as I engross myself in her wonderful
eyes and cry. She takes my face in her affectionate hands and she
lightly returns with the sweet brushes of her lips, "and so are
you. I am with you, in you heart." Buffy slides her hand down to my
breast and then she stares ardently into my eyes. As we share a
zealous kiss, I take Buffy's hand and engulf it inside my palms,
never wanting her to slip through my fingers ever again. I drop a
fervent kiss on the back of her hand, as if were the most cherished
treasure I had ever attained.
Buffy mildly strokes at where my heart is and looks sternly into my
eyes with all of the adulation she esteems me in. I once again
strain myself to explicate how much I had always cared for her, and
how bottomless my love runs for her, and that I wouldn't ever forsake
her again. "Buffy, I..._" But Buffy stalls me as she quickly leans
even closer to my mouth with a tentative kiss. Her succulent lips
feel so real, so sweet like honey as I remembered. She then quietly
murmurs, "I know. I know. I heard you. I'll always be with you,
and I will always hear you."
'And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day...'
Her placid eyes seem to express more passionate love than I ever
thought possible and, shockingly, it appeases me with a familiar
comfort in which I cannot even begin to justify. As she cups my chin
in both of her hands, I reach up and I grab one fondly. As I hunger
for her again, I hold it to my cheek, and she sensitively caresses my
face. My free hand wraps around her waist and I rub the small of her
back. I just want this time to last. I never want to go back to the
way I was. I am useless and empty without her, like a hallow shell.
"I need you...please..." I sigh out with a supplication to my darling.
Buffy purses her lips together and sincerely rubs her thumb over my
brow, as if memorizing me by touch all over again.
I let my eyes flutter closed to relax and indulge in this enchanting
moment, and then I open my eyes to seek hers. She gives me her sassy
grin that I fell in love with the first time I laid eyes on her, and
she adds pleasantly, "We will be together again, my love." And with
an eternal kiss of love that seals our endless and perpetual love we
have for one another, our lips meet once again as I drink her in, and
her promise penetrates deep within my soul that is restored. Because
I believe my lover that we *will* be with each other again. One
sweet day.
'....Sorry I never told you
All I wanted to say'
It was then that an excited female voice erupted my thoughts and my
reminisce in which I had drifted off to sleep with. I awoke with a
shudder at the rapid realism and actuality of the callous morning
day. As I viewed my surroundings in my twisted sheets that indicated
a restless night, though Buffy had gifted me with amazing grace that
tranquilized my trepidations after I had reluctantly found out about
her death. I squinted my eyes to see Cordelia, with a jovial
countenance. And it alarmed me . I was about to bark back at her in
a malicious retort that I wished to be alone as she had rudely irked
me out of my blissful slumber, until she ecstatically shrieked aloud
with a sounding declaration "She's alive!! Buffy, she's alive!"
Please do not use this fiction, unless granted permission. I do have
this date and fiction already on a website. Thank you.