Author's Notes
Thank you all for your patience!
I've been very eager to get back online and start posting chapters again now
that I'm all settled.
I hope this new one isn't a disappointment!
My work new schedule is very demanding, but we'll see if I can't do at least three a week.
Anywho, here's eleven, enjoy!
~ Liomi ~
Chapter Eleven: Here Comes Trouble
"Well, I imagine we ought to bring him inside...again," sighed Lirinwen as she stood next to her sister. Both maidens were studying Haldir's collapsed form, hands on hips, brows furrowed.
"No!" Protested the elder maiden, "I'm done with entertaining this lout and his ilk! We are not bringing him inside!"
"Andú, he isn't a naughty housepet that might wet on the floor, this is the Captain!" Argued the younger Elf.
"How do you know he wouldn't wet on the floor? He certainly stunk all over the bench last visit!"
Lirinwen shot her sister a reproachful look. "Then what do you suggest we do?"
Andúnil seemed to consider the situation for a moment longer, then addressed her sibling once more. "I haven't any notion as to where he houses himself, so we shall just have to drag him over to the upper hall!"
"But someone might see us!" Protested the other, "I don't fancy having anyone watch me dragging him about, that is not dignified!"
"Then we shall simply take him around to the garden entrance!" Huffed the elder maid, crouching down beside him.
"But that is the longer route!" Whined Lirinwen.
Andúnil glared at her sister in irritation. "Are you going to suggest something better then? If not cease your complaining and help me roll him onto his back."
Lirinwen exhaled in disgust and lowered herself onto her knees. Together they pushed, lifted and tugged at the heavy body until they managed to turn it over. Andúnil noted that he looked much improved since the last time she'd seen him, and also that he smelled far better.
Lirinwen followed her sister's gaze and indulged in a satisfied little grin. "Quite fetching isn't he?" She teased.
"I hadn't noticed," muttered the elder sister, scooting down to position herself at Haldir's feet. "You may take the arms, they ought to be the lighter half," she added, balancing his little travel bag on his stomach.
Lirinwen watched her sibling grab the warden by the ankles and stand. Sighing, the younger maid settled herself behind his head and considered where it would be best to place her hands. If she grasped his armpits his head would dangle back and he might awake to an intimate, inverted view of her pelvis, but if she took his elbows she worried about knocking his head against the ground or snagging his hair on something. At last she decided that the armpits seemed the safer way to go about it, but as she was not eager to chance a nose to nether-regions encounter, she concluded she'd rather carry his bottom half.
"Might you be persuaded to switch?" Asked Lirinwen, "I think I'd rather take the lower bit after all."
Andúnil rolled her eyes. "Yes, fine, what ever pleases you!"
The maidens switched ends and Lirinwen happily lifted his booted feet. Yes, this was a vast improvement.
Andúnil paused and considered what to grab on to, coming to near the same conclusions as her sister before her. At length she shot the younger maid a nasty glare, which was answered with a cheeky little smile, then turned around and gracefully hoisted him up by the armpits. At least if he awoke he'd be looking at her backside and this suited her far better than the alternative. Lirinwen pouted a bit, envious she hadn't considered that position.
Their progress was slow and careful, but still they managed to smack his rump on several steps. Andúnil argued with her sister to grab him by the knees instead, but was promptly rebuffed. There was simply no circumstance under which the younger maiden was willing to seat herself that close to the apex of his legs. Bitterly they argued over it for some time until at last the elder sister agreed to switch places with the younger again. When at length they reached the court of Caras Galadhon both maidens were flustered and weary.
They entered through the small archway and Lirinwen deposited her burden on the flet with a relieved sigh. "At last!" She breathed.
"What are you playing at? We can't leave him here! Someone might step on him!" Protested Andúnil.
"Am I the only one who has been carrying this massive creature?" Argued Lirinwen, "trust me sister! No one will be able to miss seeing him!"
The elder maiden stomped a foot. "Now see here! There is a nice little bench only one or two flets up, we can set him there and...why are you giggling?"
Lirinwen's face was buried in her hands as she stood staring at her sister, her shoulder's twitching with mirth. "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look right now?" She gasped in between breaths.
Andúnil frowned and refused to look down. She was well aware of the picture she painted standing rigidly between the Captain's legs holding him up by the knees, the upper half of his body sprawled out before her. And she didn't care to dwell on it or be reminded of it.
"Do you ladies require any assistance?" came a sultry voice on their left. Both maidens snapped their heads in the direction of the sound. Lirinwen stopped giggling abruptly. Of course it was Glorfindel, it wouldn't do for any lesser Elf to catch them in this act of oddness.
"Madame, I must insist that you unhand me at once!" Came yet another voice. Andúnil looked down in horror, Haldir, arms crossed over his chest, was glaring up at her in indignation. Quickly she dropped his knees and jumped back.
Haldir rose and dusted himself off hastily, looking to all three faces for an explanation. "What is the meaning of this?" He demanded.
Glorfindel remained silent, glancing from one maiden to the other in the hopes they had a suitable explanation to offer up. "Now see here!" Spoke up Lirinwen, "that's no tone to be taken with the kind souls who just finished hauling your not so slender buttocks up two levels of stairs!" She glared at Haldir, poking a finger in his face, "you'd best be grateful we didn't just leave you to rot outside on our doorstep for anyone to trip over!"
Haldir raised an imperial eyebrow and crossed his arms again, leaning down to glare back at the upstart. "Well if I was on your doorstep why did you not just bring me inside instead of 'hauling my not so slender buttocks' up to the hall?"
"Because Andúnil was worried you might wet on the floor!" She shot back.
Haldir blinked, rendered momentarily speechless.
"I had no part in any of that, I assure you Captain!" Interjected a wide-eyed Glorfindel. Andúnil blanched in horror. "Liri my love, you must really try to think of what you are about to say before it comes flying out of your mouth." She risked a glance at the Captain, who was clearly somewhere in betwixt confused and insulted. "And if I may, Marchwarden, it might behoove you to settle your nerves before you faint again."
Haldir's jaw dropped. "I do not 'faint'!"
"Hello?" Called a curious voice as the door creaked open. Two dark heads poked through the opening, flitting their eyes about the sitting room. "Is anyone here?" The voice, belonging to the head on the left, called out once more.
"Ai! What is that horrid stench? Methinks there is a rotting Orc carcass hidden in the cupboard!" Complained a second voice, belonging to the head on the right. Both crinkled their noses in disgust.
"I think we've caught them not at home," concluded the left.
"Hm! Shall we mess it up a bit in here then to let them know we stopped by?" Asked the right.
The left nodded. "Oh aye, one should never waste a perfectly good opportunity to mess things up a bit in other people's homes while they are away!"
"Quite so!" Agreed the right, and they entered together, shutting the door behind them.
"Where to start?" Wondered the left.
"You ought to begin out here, I shall poke about in the bedchambers!" Decreed the right. The left nodded and both went about their business.
"Ai! Elladan! Come quickly! Orophin is dead!" Cried a voice from the first bedchamber. Quickly the Elf in the sitting room rushed to join his brother.
Surely enough, there lay the warden in question atop his bed in nothing but his leggings, a great odor emanating from his unmoving person.
Elladan cocked his head and scrutinized the supposed corpse, then shook his head. "Nay brother," he stated at length, "see how he breathes?"
Elrohir looked terribly relieved. He reached out and clasped his Lórien friend on the shoulder, shaking him vigorously. "Wake Orophin! Wake!" He urged. But Orophin did not wake.
"How odd," remarked Elladan, who was well known for stating the obvious.
"What do you suppose is the matter with him?" Asked Elrohir, jabbing his finger none too gently into the center of Orophin's forehead.
"I could not say! Should we check the other rooms for his brothers?"
Elrohir nodded his approval and they went next to Haldir's room, but it was quite empty. Wearing matching frowns the brothers proceeded into Rúmil's chambers, and there found him in much the same manner as his younger brother.
"How odd," remarked Elladan once more, "they are both unconscious!"
Elrohir wasted no time in treating Rúmil to his previously employed 'waking' methods, which involved shaking and prodding. "Ew! Why must he drool? That is so distasteful!"
"Be cautious brother, do not strike him too hard or you may live to regret it...again!" Warned Elladan.
Elrohir eased up slightly, recalling a rather unpleasant morning by the side of a campfire when he'd been too forceful when rousing this particular Elf from reverie. They'd neither of them been able to look each other straight in the eye for weeks afterward. There mere thought of it brought a foul taste to his mouth, or perhaps that was just from inhaling too much of the fetid air.
"This house smells horrible!" Declared the ever-helpful Elladan.
"Lets take ourselves up to the court and see what new ladies are attending Grandmother, shall we?" Suggested Elrohir, giving up on waking his slumbering friend. The twins left in a hurry, slamming shut the door behind them in their haste.
"Would you care for some wine? I brought some iceberry vintage with me from Rivendell," offered Glorfindel after Haldir had made himself comfortable.
The warden sighed dejectedly. "I'm afraid I must decline, it's likely to have an ill effect on my behavior, perhaps we could drink tea instead?"
"Tea, yes, I believe I would prefer tea myself," replied the Golden Lord quickly.
Haldir had no doubts that his host would not actually prefer tea, but Glorfindel seemed a gracious and considerate sort. After the 'incident' in the hall earlier, the Rivendell Elf had politely invited the Captain in for a drink, and Haldir had politely accepted.
"Tell me, how is business on the borders at present? Do you suffer many attacks?" Glorfindel changed the subject with an amiable smile as he busied himself preparing the tea.
Grateful for the older Elf's tact, Haldir returned the smile. "Our borders are largely untested at present, though on occasion an Orc party is unfortunate enough to stumble too close."
Glorfindel nodded, "it is much the same in Rivendell, though there are those among us who find the lack of excitement trying."
"And rightly so!" Came an animated voice from the doorway. The two fair-haired Elves turned to face the intruder.
Glorfindel frowned, there was not one, but two of them. "Does it not ever occur to you both to knock before you enter someone's private quarters?" Haldir, looking as though he'd swallowed a lemon, said nothing.
The twins exchanged a smile and sauntered into the parlor where they each claimed a seat on either side of the Lórien Captain.
"Wonderful to see you again aswell Glory!" Quipped one.
"Our journey here was fair, thank you for asking," grinned the other.
Glorfindel pursed his lips and clasped his hands behind his back. "There is a faintly unpleasant odor surrounding your persons, what sort of mischief have you been up to?"
The twins exchanged another glance, the one on the left reached around Haldir and punched the shoulder of his brother. "So that is why the attendants avoided us!"
The twin on the right rubbed his shoulder and scowled at the other. "That hurt," he complained.
The left twin ignored his brother and turned to address Haldir. "It's all your brothers' fault you know, they stink and they wont awaken!"
The right twin, his pain forgotten, nodded in agreement. "It is true, Elrohir even thought they were dead."
"So did you!" Scoffed Elrohir, narrowing his eyes.
"I most certainly did not!" Retored Elladan, "if you will recall it was I who pointed out that they were breathing!"
"Enough, please," interrupted Glorfindel, "the Captain and I are not interested in listening to the two of you bicker, and furthermore, you are henceforth to stay away from both Rúmil and Orophin during this visit."
"Why?" They demanded in unison.
"They are being punished and are not allowed visitors," replied Haldir gruffly.
Two sets of grey eyes widened in curiosity. "Punished?" They gasped.
"What did they do?" Asked Elrohir.
"And what did you do to them?" Inquired Elladan.
"That is none of your affair, you will put the matter out of your head, understood?" Frowned the Golden Lord, giving both a reproachful look.
"Understood," they replied swiftly with matching angelic smiles. Neither of the fair-haired Elves had any hope for their obediance in the matter.
The Elf-maids sat quietly in their parlor sewing. Lirinwen noted that her sisters' ears were still pink at the tips and her jaw was tightly clenched. She felt a pang of sympathy for the elder maiden, Andúnil had suffered much humiliation and vexation during the course of the past few days. But the younger sister was resigned to keep believing that it was all good for her elder, Andúnil's orderly life had been far too tepid.
"Andú, have a care, you'll ruin the cloth," Lirinwen spoke kindly, offering her sibling a quiet smile.
Andúnil ceased stabbing at the silken fabric and shot her sister a hard look. "Perhaps I do not care if it is ruined," was the tart reply.
"I am certain that you will care later on when your anger has passed and that fine weave is beyond use, mayhap we ought to lay down our sewing and take a turn out of doors?"
Andúnil cast her work aside with a disgusted sigh and folded her arms across her chest. "I dare not go outside, who knows what sort of mischief would befall me," she grumbled.
"Dearest, I know you've had a troublesome time of late, but refusing to go out on behalf of what might happen is quite silly," Lirinwen chided gently, "but I will not force you if you are truly opposed."
"I am going to lay down," snapped the elder, standing suddenly and making for the doorway to her bedchamber.
Lirinwen watched her sister depart with a sigh, subconciously twisting the narrow silver band on her finger. As much joy as Tiniond brought her heart, so did Andúnil bring her equal sorrow. She knew how things would be when her betrothal was over and she joined with her beloved. Lirinwen would go and make a home with him, and Andúnil would be left alone to her sewing and her quiet little parlor. It was common for Elf-maids to keep their own home, but yet the thought of her elder sister living alone for the remainder of eternity was upsetting.
It occurred to Lirinwen that she might be in a position to do something about her sister's lack of prospects. She'd never attempted any matchmaking before, but really, how hard could it be to bring two people together? Certainly love had come easily enough for herself and Tiniond, could it not also be so for Andúnil? Though the elder sister was not as romantic as the younger, she was a loving being.
"But who to pick? Who indeed!" She mused aloud, tapping a finger against her chin.
Immediately a vision of the Captain sprang to mind, for other than her own beloved, it was his face she'd seen most often of late. But would they suit? Haldir was infamous as the staunch bachelor with an appetite for solitude and immeasurable arrogance. The pairing might result in far too much argument and clashing of tempers, they were in many ways far too similar for their own good. In any case that one was a bit on the 'burly' side as far as Elves went, Andúnil deserved someone more elegant.
Then Lirinwen remembered the Captain had a brother, and hadn't Andúnil remarked that he'd kissed her? If that was not indicative of interest then what was! And yet, it seemed as though the elder sister hadn't much appreciated the attention. Lirinwen struggled to remember what she could of the Elf in question, what was he called? Ah yes, Rúmil, that was it, fair haired like his elder brother, but slighter in build. Lirinwen also recalled that of the three of them he was the one who spent the most time dancing and carrying on. She wasn't certain if that was a promising thing, Andúnil didn't much care for socializing, they were likely too different to suit well.
Yet was there not also a third brother? Ah, best perhaps to leave well enough alone and forget the males of that family. It seemed to Lirinwen that her sister might prefer someone of a different station after all, for wardens spent much time away from home. If only the elder maiden went round more often! She hardly knew anyone. It crossed Lirinwen's mind that Andúnil might be familiar with some of the tailors and weavers, but the younger maiden couldn't think of a one that she approved of for her sister.
Andúnil was, however, very openly fond of Lord Glorfindel. Lirinwen considered the likeliness of this match for a moment before shaking her head firmly. No, even if the great Elf-lord could be bothered to come down from his pedestal to court a maiden, it wouldn't be someone like her sister. Elf-lord's like him bound themselves to accomplished, extraordinary ladies, great scholars, warriors and artisans. Maidens of great beauty or great deeds, not homebody-seamstresses like Andúnil.
Was there not another name the elder sibling had spoken earlier? Ah yes, Erestor. She'd called him smug and insipid, not a promising start to a relationship, but at least it proved Andúnil had considered him enough to commit a couple of his personality traits to memory. But drat if he wasn't in the same category as Glorfindel, being counted among the more prestigious of Elrond's court. Yet there was little mention of him among the gossips, and the bit she'd seen of him didn't indicate any great appetite for social pursuits. If only Andúnil could look past all that dispising nonsense they might make a fine pair, and to be sure he wasn't completely unfortunate looking.
Well, perhaps he was worth looking into. Lirinwen resigned herself to making a few discreet inquiries about him and meet him if she could, to see what he was about. She hoped he suited, for there really werent any other potentials that came to mind. Still, she might ask Tiniond, he'd likely know a good Elf or two worth introducing to Andúnil. Yes, that is what she would do if this Erestor creature didn't work out.
Finally knowing her mind on the matter, Lirinwen tidied up their sewing baskets and fetched her mantle. It didn't serve to waste time with the Rivendell party set to leave in three weeks time. Would that be long enough to secure a courtship? Lirinwen feared that it would not.