Reminiscence of an Almasy
By Evelaunce.
Chapter title: Realization of mistakes.
A/N: Ok this is pretty much all angst and stuff like that, I don't like angst all that much, but the idea popped in my head one day, and I decided to write this, so here it is....
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"Seifer! Help me out ya know!" I couldn't believe that I had led my best friend to a place like this.
"You will not help him! He isn't your friend!" a voice in my head yelled. I couldn't control myself, I had tried to before, but...'she' had control over me.
I slowly bent down, and looked into Raijin's eyes. He had a scared look, but if I was about to die in a place like this, then I would be scared also.
"...No..." that was the one word that I didn't want to say...and I found it coming out of my mouth. I had to do something...or else...I would be responsible for another death...and even worse...responsible for the death of my best friend.
I started to fight back, I could feel my arms shaking back and forth, and my mind was trying to come up with something...but I couldn't think strait.
"What are you doing!?" the voice screamed inside my head.
"...I'm taking my life back, it aint yours to control!"
"...HA! You are a fool, you will not get away this easily!" the voice was...mocking me now.
I tried with all my might one last time to break free, but a searing pain shot through my head. I screamed from the intense pain, and fell onto my back. Now I couldn't think at all, and all the strength that I had to fight back was gone.
I looked at Raijin one last time, "S-seifer...? please help me..." His voice and eyes were desperately pleading, but I could only sit there and watch. I seen the piece of rock that he was holding on to start to break, then his fingers slipped, and he disappeared over the edge.
The...thing...that was controlling me, wanted the pain of every death that I caused to be echted into my mind. I slowly stood up, and my feet seemed to be moving by themselves to the edge, and in the very last instant of his life, I watched Raijin slip into the fires of this...demon pit.
"NOOOO!!!....why did you do this to me? You said power...riches...fame...all of those I would receive, but you lied, I've only received pain, and sorrow!" My mind yelled in in rage.
"It's not my fault that you are stupid, you should have known that no one can promise those things, and actually give them to someone...HAHAHA" the voice mocked.
"...get out of my life..."
"...Ha! No way!"
"...get out of my life...NOW!"
"You are stupid to think that I will listen to you."
"GET OUT NOW! I NEVER WANT TO HERE FROM YOU AGAIN!!!"
"...fine, but I will be back." the voice laughed once more, then I could feel that its strange presence had left.
I slowly looked down at my hands, and seen the blood-covered fibers of my gloves, then the thoughts of what had just happened, ran through my head.
I could feel tears threatening to fall from my eyes, but I rubbed them furiously, then stood up. "...I am...so...sorry...my friend...my only...true friend..." I could now feel the heat of the fire cavern burning at my face, I could feel the beads of sweat slowly running down my forehead, then I slowly turned, and directed my path toward the exit.
I stepped out of the natural furnace, and looked around. I could feel tears slowly streaking down my face, but I couldn't let that stop me.
I seen a small forest nearby, and quickly moved towards it. My feet didn't want to cooperate, and I found that I was stumbling for it.
I fell to my knees a couple times, but I got back up, and kept walking.
I could feel the coolness of the shade, and I could see nothing but green surrounding me. I lost my footing one last time, and fell to my knees.
I could now feel the tears flowing freely, then...'she' came back. I couldn't here her voice yet, but pictures of the first deaths I had caused came flowing through my head.
"I told you to go away! I don't ever want to here from you again!" I yelled in my head.
"Come now seifer, you surely don't mean that." the voice laughed, then a picture of a small girl shot through my head.
She had two deep slashes in her, then I seen myself slowly walking away. That was when I could still think for myself, when I could still take control, but I had chosen to do it by my own free will.
I slowly opened my eyes, and seen that I was kneeling in a black abyss, then I could see...bodies...lying around me.
I watched in pain as...Raijin slowly get up from the ground. He opened his eyes, and I could see nothing but white, then his face turned a pale white, and his skin...seemed to burn away.
"I thought we were friends seifer, but you betrayed me...you let me die...you are the only reason why I am dead." His voice sounded...lifeless, like that of the wind, his voice was hollow, and haunting.
I could feel a slight pain shoot through my head. "No...I'm sorry Raijin, I'm so sorry..." I broke down into tears again.
I slowly looked back up, and although the tears fogged everything, I could see that Raijin was gone...and Fujin had taken his place.
I could see the slices and cuts all over her, and her face was the same as Raijin's, only she seemed to have a sad look across her face. "You deceived me seifer, you said you loved me, but you only killed me when I finally let my feelings show." Her voice was cold and threatening, but I knew that she was telling nothing but the truth.
I couldn't bring myself to say anything, I just felt the pain of what she had said sink in, then I watched her disappear, and that little girl from the picture replaced her.
"oh no...please don't show me this." I pleaded, feeling an even worse pain shoot through my body.
"Hey mister...what do you want...?" Her small voice would always echo through my head painfully.
"I am a...friend of your daddy's, so could you please show me to your house." with every one of my words it seemed like a dull, rusty, jagged knife shot through my body.
"Daddy! Daddy! One of your friends wants to see you." it now felt like I was in a large room, and every one of her words painfully echoed through my head.
"...Who are you...?" I heard the voice, then the scene in his house appeared in front of me.
"No! Stop this now! Please...please...stop!" I yelled, but nothing seemed to hear me, and everything kept going.
I couldn't turn my head from the scene, and watched myself cut through the man, then I glass shattering scream shot through my head.
"NO! I don't want to watch anymore! Please stop this!" I had sunk down to begging, something that I had never done before.
The movie that was a mental torture hadn't stopped, nothing had returned to normal, and I couldn't turn my head away from the scene, although I wanted nothing more than to look away.
I watched myself raise my gunblade, then I tried the very last thing I could. I tried to close my eyes, but they shot back open. I tried my hardest to turn my head, but no matter how much I struggled, it felt like someone was holding my head there with an iron deathgrip.
I watched my gunblade thrust down, then I slashed up one last time, and the small body slowly fell to the floor. I could now feel the tears stinging, I was forced to look at that scene, and now pain was shooting everywhere.
I watched the small body slowly get up, then the small girl walked up to me. "You lied to me...you killed me...and my father...your are a liar and a murderer!" her small voice was like a knife cutting through the bones of my ribcage, then my heart being painfully wrenched out, then stomped on.
I didn't know it was possible to feel any worse than what I had felt like before she came up, but now I felt like I had died one of the most painful deaths, but what was even more painful...was that I wasn't dead, and I had to live with this great pain for the rest of my life.
I watched the little girl disappear, then...Rinoa came into the scene, and my surroundings turned into the Lunatic Pandora, with Adel in that...prison that she had been placed in.
I had once loved this girl, and some of the feelings were still there, but just not as strong.
"Please seifer...don't you remember me? This is Rinoa speaking...please don't do this, can't you remember the wonderful times you used to have? Please don't do this...and become one of our friends again." her voice pleaded.
I didn't know why, but those words cut through me like a sword slicing me in half, then the memory of what I had done shot through my head. I watched the scene of what I did next with the ultimate pain, then everything disappeared, and...Ultimecia appeared before me.
"Why can't you just leave me alone!"
"Because seifer...we are both the same, only you are my knight." I could see that look on her face, it was supposed to look innocent, but I knew better, I knew of the evil that was inside her, corrupting her to the core, and that face was only deceiving.
"Get away from me! You don't know me! Get out of my life! I am NOT like you! And I don't want to be!" I yelled, then stood up from the ground, and backed away.
"But seifer, you are just the same as me." I watched her disappear, then the four people that I had just seen appeared, they were all...hanging from chains, with their heads bowed.
I watched my surrounding start to spin, but I stood in the same place.
"You a liar..." Rinoa's head shot up, with a face that I had never seen on her before. It was a look of anger, and hatred.
"...deceiver..." Fujin's voice came from behind me, and when I turned, her head shot up, revealing the same face.
"...Murderer..." The little girl's voice came from my left, I looked over at her, then her head shot up, showing a pale emotionless face, with those white eyes.
"...Betrayer..." Raijin was the last one, and I seen the same face on him that he had right before his fingers slipped, and he fell to his death.
I knew that all these things were true...and those four words kept echoing through my head.
The wanting for separation had never been more stronger in my life, when I seen Ultimecia appear in front of me once more, she had a demonic grin across her face, then she showed who she really was.
I quickly jolted back, She...or...it...had three huge black horns sticking out of its head, large yellow fangs were showing in its mouth, and the fiery red eyes were illuminating my surroundings. I looked around, and seen black demons laughing, jeering, mocking, and enjoying my torment.
I looked back up at the demon in front of me, then a burst of determination went through my body. I reached for my gunblade, and found that it was still hanging there.
I quickly drew the dark weapon, and prepared to fight. "If you really want me, then you are going to have to fight. I will no longer be your puppet." I growled, then the demon reached to its side, and pulled out a huge black sword. It was twice as long as mine, then I glanced around, and all the demons were drawing their weapons.
I slowly turned my gaze back to the demon in front of me, then I charged forward. It seemed that at the same instant that I moved, every demon was instantly trying to kill me.
This was the biggest challenge I had ever faced in my life. I couldn't stop to breath for one second, for there were swords flying at me from every direction.
I forced my blade into one of the smaller demons, and with a ghastly shriek it disappeared in a vapor of smoke. The battle had stopped for a second, and I could see that all the other demons were debating with themselves on what to do.
I didn't take time to think on that, I just started slashing through the few that were in my immediate reach. I felt a sword hack through my back, and I quickly turned to the demon behind me. With a shriek it was gone, then the battle continued.
I pulled my blade out of the last small demon, then looked at the one that had started everything.
"Your...minions...are gone...its just you...and me..." my voice was somewhat shaky, and I had cuts and gashes all over my body.
The demon didn't say anything, it just smirked, then lunged at me.
I raised my blade to block, then its face was right in mine. "You will not get out of this alive!" its ugly voice screeched, and I could smell the sulfur of its breath.
"Maybe so, but I will have ridden myself from you!" I yelled, then the demon jumped back, then lunged at me again.
The battle had lasted for what seemed like forever, but I could tell that it was starting to tire...and so was I.
I thrust my blade to my left, then both blades met. The demon smirked then slowly forced my gunblade to the side, the tip of its blade was right in front of me.
I hadn't realized what it was going to do, until I felt the blade being pushed through my ribs, then my heart. I coughed, then felt something come up my throat. Then I coughed again, and I seen the crimson red liquid come out of my mouth.
I looked up into the demon's face, and seen a look of victory in its eyes. That was when I decided, that although I was probably dieing, I was going to take this demon with me.
I slowly raised my gunblade up, then forced the blade through its neck. I heard the last shriek, then everything came back to normal.
I could see the green leaves of the trees surrounding me, then I felt a raindrop fall onto my face. The demons were gone, but the damage that they had caused was still there. I looked down, and seen my light-grey trenchcoat drenched in blood. I felt all the strength in my legs give out, then I fell onto my back with a dull thud.
I looked up at the dark cloudy sky, then seen a bright flash of lightning go through the clouds. "I am...sorry...everyone..." those were the last words that had the chance to go through my mind, then everything went black.
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Oh no!!! (looks around) seifer's dead...ah well I don't really care, anyway was this any good? You gotta tell me cause I don't know.
It's kinda weird...I never think the stuffs I write is as good as the stuff other people write...ah well mebbee its just me, anyway this is my first, and probably last attempt at angst, so just tell me if this is any good.
Ok well C YA all (waves)