A/N: Ok I usually don't like writing author's notes up here because I feel
it breaks up the story but today I make an exception! I'm dedicating this
chapter to Beaner because her last review will probably be my favorite
review for all time. She is the BESTEST reviewer, and I just thought people
should know that! Thanx to all other reviews too and on with the story!
~*~
"Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid." I grumbled, hitting my head against my locker, after I left cafeteria after Fulton. I wasn't trying to chase him, because not only would that be idiotic, but it might also be suicide considering the mood he was in. I bet right now he's up in Josie's dorm room, kissing the girl of my dreams. At this thought I restarted my mantra. "Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid . . ."
"Hey! Don't do that! You'll give yourself an injury off the ice little buddy."
I opened my eyes to see Portman smirking at me. Oh, wonderful. He's going to ask me about Fulton, which will bring me to Josie, and how I got her crying and next thing I know I won't be smashing my head against the locker on purpose.
He tossed me an apple and slid down the locker beside mine. "Charlie said you didn't eat." He explained lightly. "So, in about a week, you ran out of the dining hall two times, why?"
I slammed my head against the locker again. I so did not want to talk about this.
"Hey! What did I tell you? You're going to give yourself a concussion." Portman laughed, with just a hint of worry in his voice. Portman and I never really have gotten to know each other in the last what, two years I've known him? He was busy chasing girls, and staying in Chicago. I on the other hand was too busy well, to put it the easiest terms, living up to my father's dream.
I swallow, maybe if I be funny he will leave me alone and we can go back to our separate lives. "At this point, I welcome a concussion with open arms." Wow, that came out more cynical than I expected, I was kind of hoping for light, and airy.
Portman scoffed as he bit into the apple I didn't realize he was holding. "Bad day?"
I sighed and stared at the waxy skin of the red Delicious Apple in my hands. "More like a bad week climaxed by a major fight now involving your roommate."
Portman looked surprised. "You mean you're the reason Fulton's in a bitchy mood?" He quickly sighed in relief. "I thought he was pissed off at me for borrowing his math notes that accidentally got dropped in the keg at this party I went to last week."
I blinked suspiciously. "Why did you take his notes to a party?"
Portman licked his lips. "I don't quite remember."
I laughed and bit into the apple I was holding. I couldn't help it. I was starving now.
"So what did you do to piss Fulton off?" Portman asked, with more amusement in his voice then worry.
I sighed. If we were having this share session I might as well not lie about it. "I made a girl cry." I bowed my head. It was exactly my proudest moment.
He looked over at me with the most surprised look on his face. "Who are you and what have you done with Adam 'Mr. Perfect' Banks?"
I sighed. "You're looking at him. You have just seen one of the less perfect sides of him."
Portman shook his head. "Chasing a girl out of the dining hall, skipping classes, going across state lines, pissing off my roommate, and making a girl cry? You aren't the Banksie we all know and love; your alternate reality Banksie."
"That's not the best of it." I sighed.
Portman's eyes widened. "More?"
I licked my lips. "It was Josie."
Portman shook his head. "Fuck man, the girl you like?"
"And then she ran into Fulton, and then he took her to her dorm room, and now I'm thinking I have absolutely no chance at all."
Portman looked at me again. "What you think Fulton took your girl?" He shook his head. "First of all he's known you since you were little . . . well you were little; he was big. And secondly, I know Fulton; he wouldn't take her even if he is pissed off at you."
I sighed. "Do you know how I actually came on the Ducks?"
Portman nodded. "You were part of District 5 hockey team, then Bombay came inspired you, became a good coach whatever and you won the tournament against the Eagles, or the Hawks or some sort of bird."
I sighed. "No one ever told you I was a Hawk and I picked on the original Ducks?"
Portman shook his head. "Never. I guess they figured it was irrelevant."
"Well I did and I've felt pretty damn crappy about it and I can't help but think Fulton may have a tiny chip on his shoulder about it." I didn't like admitting that's what I thought, but again, the truth comes out.
Portman nodded. "I'll talk to him." He pushed himself off the ground and smiled. "Take it easy little buddy."
I blinked at him as he walked away. I guess talking about your problems sometimes does help.
~*~
My afternoon classes crawled by extremely slow. I figured it would take less time to teach Mendoza how to stop with the utmost consistency than to go through all of my classes. I considered asking him in history if he would rather do that, but he looked rather busy charming the girl who sat beside him.
I rolled my eyes. Had I been Luis, I would have had Josie around my finger by now; not that, that's what I wanted. I didn't want her to be the girl who sat there sighing over me, not that Josie would even really be the sighing type. Me and my stupid DNA. I could have looked like anyone else in the world, but no, I had to look like her dead partner. Oh yes, that's me, Adam Banks, the boy who has the worst luck on this entire planet.
First I was put on the wrong team causing me to be torn away from my best friends, Larson and McGill, but actually turned out to be a good thing, but whatever; it was horrible at the time. Then at the championship game, one of my 'best friends' checks me from behind into the goal post, rendering me unconscious, forever ridding me of the chance to actually see the rest of the game. Thank God Guy's dad video taped the entire thing. I have watched that tape thousands of times but it's not the same as playing it.
Then at the Junior Goodwill Games, some idiot from Iceland broke his stick over my wrist. Like what type of idiot does that! Then last year, Varsity, which should have been a blessing, almost completely ruined all the relationships I had made over the last 3 or 4 years!
As I said before, worst luck ever!
I look over at Luis again and roll my eyes. There he is again, getting that girl's number written onto his hand. For God sake that's just sad. I grin with the makings of a plan beginning to form in my head.
"Hey Luis." I hiss spinning around in my chair. I look over at the girl. "I'm sorry I've never met you before."
Luis jumps at the chance to look good. "Adam Banks this is Kelsey."
The smile drops off the girl's face. "It's Chrissie you idiot." She grabs his hand with her number on it and quickly licks it and turns away.
Luis frowns. "Gross." He utters and wipes his hand on his pants only to remember her number is there. "Aw shit!" He glares at me. "That was evil Banks."
I shrug; I believe the saying goes misery loves company. "You should have learned her name."
Luis continues to glare at me. "I know, but man! She was cute!"
I roll my eyes and turn around. "Anything with legs right Mendoza?"
Luis grumbles and actually gets to work. I sigh happy for just a few moments because I don't have that girl's high pitched giggling in my ear.
~*~
I curl up in my bed after classes. Charlie, Averman and Connie have come into my room to see if I want to do anything. Connie's was the worst, she wanted me to invite Josie to go to a movie with her and Guy. I thought if she stayed in my room a moment longer I would have thrown one of the hockey pucks at her, that are on the shelf above my bed. All I know is that I'm glad Averman has a study group with Goldberg and Dwayne, which is absolutely has no purpose because they all don't understand science or basically any other subject in school.
A knock on my door brings me back to a harsh reality, where I look like a dead guy and the girl I like is going out with Fulton, well at least that's what I think. "Go away, I'm studying." I yell at the door.
"Adam, don't make me jimmy the lock."
I jump up at the voice I hear from behind the door. "Josie?"
"Yeah, now open the door before I go to Fulton's dorm and get him to break it down." I heard her impatient voice say.
I get up and open the door. Her eyes are red and puffy. She's been crying, but I don't want to push it.
"Can I come in?" She whispers avoiding my eyes.
I nod and step out of the way. "What are you doing here?"
She turns around and bites her lip. "I wanted to tell you in private at we are over. You can pretend I don't exist and I'll do the same for you because it seems to me we make each other's life miserable."
My jaw drops. "Over? I don't even know what I did this morning!"
"It was a mixture of things that you have put me through. . ." She begins to explain but is quickly cut off by me.
"THINGS I HAVE PUT YOU THROUGH!" I yell allowing my pent up anger to get the best of me and explode at her. "You mean the things you have put me through, like dragging my ass to Wisconsin, and yelling at me, and. . ."
Her eyes flicker. "No, I mean you have put me through the worst time of my life! You have made me relive things I thought I would never have to think about ever again! Adam Banks, you are the most self centered little jerk in this entire school, which is saying a lot because this school is filled with them!"
I take a breath. "Well you Miss Joslyn Best; are not so innocent. You are manipulative and completely out of your mind."
She blinked at me angrily and scowled. "I don't have to take this!" She yelled at me as she stomped toward the door swinging it open to reveal Averman standing behind it eavesdropping on our conversation. She looked at me and then at him. "Who is this?"
"My roommate." I reply in a loud tone.
Her eyes slid to Averman. "Name." She orders of him.
I see Averman swallow nervously. "Lester Averman."
Her eyes flash. "Lester, if you aren't out of my sight in five seconds I'm going to injure you in a way you never thought possible, instead of your roommate."
Averman's face goes completely pale and looks past her. "Sorry dude!" He yells to me and takes off down the hall.
She rolls her eyes and begins to walk out the door.
"Wait!" I yell at her. "You can't just threaten my roommate and then leave!"
She turns around as she reaches the hall and stares me down. "Well guess what? That's exactly what I'm doing because I'm through with arguing with you."
I felt my blood begin to boil as the rest of my hockey team filed from their rooms to see what the hell was going on. "Fine, then ignore the fact that I like you and you like me!"
I saw her wince as I said that. "Well what do you want me to do Adam? Throw you on a bed and do unspeakable things to you? I don't think so."
"Why because your doing that to fucking Fulton!" I yelled back at her. My throat began to get sore as we went along.
She glared at me again. "And what do you care if I have? To you I'm just another one of your trophies like everything else in your life!"
"You are not! Besides you are only going after Fulton because he doesn't look like me and Peter! Admit it!" I yelled back at her.
"FINE!" She screamed at me. Her voice echoing down the halls eerily. "Besides, I didn't go after Fulton."
I swallowed. "Oh." I kick myself for jumping to conclusions.
"Yeah oh." Her voice is quieter now.
"Then what did I do this morning?" I asked in almost a whisper.
She shook her head. "Nothing. I don't want to get close to you because it seems whoever I do get close to gets hurt and I'm not letting that happen to you." She turns her eyes away from me. "Just leave me alone Adam. I'm not letting myself like you."
"Well I like you."
Her eyes met mine for a second. "Well that's too bad. Because you're dead to me."
I watched as a tear rolled down her cheek for her second time as she turned away from me.
I felt my breathing get heavier I realized I wasn't alone in this hallway. I looked around at the faces of my team. Conaway, Russ, Portman and Kenny just to name a few. My eyes suddenly met Fulton's for a second. I turned them away from his sad eyes as I walked into my room and slammed the door. I have never had an argument like that in my life. I walked to Averman's stereo and began to flip through songs and finally settling on the one song that matched my life at the moment. The tune blared through the room and probably through the paper thin walls.
Met a girl, thought she was grand
fell in love, found out first hand.
Went well for a week or two
then it all came unglued
In a trapped trip I can't grip
never thought I'd be the one who'd slip
then I started to realize
I was living one big lie
She fucking hates me
trust
She fucking hates me
la la la love
I tried too hard
and she tore my feelings like I had none
and ripped them away
She was queen for about an hour
after that shit got sour
She took all I ever had
no sign of guilt
no feeling of bad, no
In a trapped trip I can't grip
never thought I'd be the one who'd slip
then I started to realize
I was living one big lie
She fucking hates me
trust
She fucking hates me
la la la love
I tried too hard
and she tore my feelings like I had none
and ripped them away
that's my story, as you see
learned my lesson and so did she
now it's over and I'm glad
'cause I'm a fool for all I've said
She fucking hates me
trust
she fucking hates me
la la la love
I tried too hard
and she tore my feelings like I had none
and ripped them away
la la la la la la la la la love
Trust
la la la la la la la la la love
Trust
and she tore my feelings like I had none
she fucking hates me!
I rolled over in my bed and covered my head with the sheets. Never once did I think that that song was going to be the anthem of my life.
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A/N: BIG Fight! Lots of fun to write, especially seeing I planned it out when I was angry at my brother a while ago. I give tons of credit to Puddle of Mud who performs the song She hates me, which I used right at the end. Good song to listen to when you are in the dumps, because it's loud and it kind of matches how you feel. Anyways, this chapter was for Beaner! Yay you! I know Adam and Josie didn't get together in this chapter, but it isn't over yet so hold on k?
REVIEW!
~Toodles!
~*~
"Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid." I grumbled, hitting my head against my locker, after I left cafeteria after Fulton. I wasn't trying to chase him, because not only would that be idiotic, but it might also be suicide considering the mood he was in. I bet right now he's up in Josie's dorm room, kissing the girl of my dreams. At this thought I restarted my mantra. "Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid . . ."
"Hey! Don't do that! You'll give yourself an injury off the ice little buddy."
I opened my eyes to see Portman smirking at me. Oh, wonderful. He's going to ask me about Fulton, which will bring me to Josie, and how I got her crying and next thing I know I won't be smashing my head against the locker on purpose.
He tossed me an apple and slid down the locker beside mine. "Charlie said you didn't eat." He explained lightly. "So, in about a week, you ran out of the dining hall two times, why?"
I slammed my head against the locker again. I so did not want to talk about this.
"Hey! What did I tell you? You're going to give yourself a concussion." Portman laughed, with just a hint of worry in his voice. Portman and I never really have gotten to know each other in the last what, two years I've known him? He was busy chasing girls, and staying in Chicago. I on the other hand was too busy well, to put it the easiest terms, living up to my father's dream.
I swallow, maybe if I be funny he will leave me alone and we can go back to our separate lives. "At this point, I welcome a concussion with open arms." Wow, that came out more cynical than I expected, I was kind of hoping for light, and airy.
Portman scoffed as he bit into the apple I didn't realize he was holding. "Bad day?"
I sighed and stared at the waxy skin of the red Delicious Apple in my hands. "More like a bad week climaxed by a major fight now involving your roommate."
Portman looked surprised. "You mean you're the reason Fulton's in a bitchy mood?" He quickly sighed in relief. "I thought he was pissed off at me for borrowing his math notes that accidentally got dropped in the keg at this party I went to last week."
I blinked suspiciously. "Why did you take his notes to a party?"
Portman licked his lips. "I don't quite remember."
I laughed and bit into the apple I was holding. I couldn't help it. I was starving now.
"So what did you do to piss Fulton off?" Portman asked, with more amusement in his voice then worry.
I sighed. If we were having this share session I might as well not lie about it. "I made a girl cry." I bowed my head. It was exactly my proudest moment.
He looked over at me with the most surprised look on his face. "Who are you and what have you done with Adam 'Mr. Perfect' Banks?"
I sighed. "You're looking at him. You have just seen one of the less perfect sides of him."
Portman shook his head. "Chasing a girl out of the dining hall, skipping classes, going across state lines, pissing off my roommate, and making a girl cry? You aren't the Banksie we all know and love; your alternate reality Banksie."
"That's not the best of it." I sighed.
Portman's eyes widened. "More?"
I licked my lips. "It was Josie."
Portman shook his head. "Fuck man, the girl you like?"
"And then she ran into Fulton, and then he took her to her dorm room, and now I'm thinking I have absolutely no chance at all."
Portman looked at me again. "What you think Fulton took your girl?" He shook his head. "First of all he's known you since you were little . . . well you were little; he was big. And secondly, I know Fulton; he wouldn't take her even if he is pissed off at you."
I sighed. "Do you know how I actually came on the Ducks?"
Portman nodded. "You were part of District 5 hockey team, then Bombay came inspired you, became a good coach whatever and you won the tournament against the Eagles, or the Hawks or some sort of bird."
I sighed. "No one ever told you I was a Hawk and I picked on the original Ducks?"
Portman shook his head. "Never. I guess they figured it was irrelevant."
"Well I did and I've felt pretty damn crappy about it and I can't help but think Fulton may have a tiny chip on his shoulder about it." I didn't like admitting that's what I thought, but again, the truth comes out.
Portman nodded. "I'll talk to him." He pushed himself off the ground and smiled. "Take it easy little buddy."
I blinked at him as he walked away. I guess talking about your problems sometimes does help.
~*~
My afternoon classes crawled by extremely slow. I figured it would take less time to teach Mendoza how to stop with the utmost consistency than to go through all of my classes. I considered asking him in history if he would rather do that, but he looked rather busy charming the girl who sat beside him.
I rolled my eyes. Had I been Luis, I would have had Josie around my finger by now; not that, that's what I wanted. I didn't want her to be the girl who sat there sighing over me, not that Josie would even really be the sighing type. Me and my stupid DNA. I could have looked like anyone else in the world, but no, I had to look like her dead partner. Oh yes, that's me, Adam Banks, the boy who has the worst luck on this entire planet.
First I was put on the wrong team causing me to be torn away from my best friends, Larson and McGill, but actually turned out to be a good thing, but whatever; it was horrible at the time. Then at the championship game, one of my 'best friends' checks me from behind into the goal post, rendering me unconscious, forever ridding me of the chance to actually see the rest of the game. Thank God Guy's dad video taped the entire thing. I have watched that tape thousands of times but it's not the same as playing it.
Then at the Junior Goodwill Games, some idiot from Iceland broke his stick over my wrist. Like what type of idiot does that! Then last year, Varsity, which should have been a blessing, almost completely ruined all the relationships I had made over the last 3 or 4 years!
As I said before, worst luck ever!
I look over at Luis again and roll my eyes. There he is again, getting that girl's number written onto his hand. For God sake that's just sad. I grin with the makings of a plan beginning to form in my head.
"Hey Luis." I hiss spinning around in my chair. I look over at the girl. "I'm sorry I've never met you before."
Luis jumps at the chance to look good. "Adam Banks this is Kelsey."
The smile drops off the girl's face. "It's Chrissie you idiot." She grabs his hand with her number on it and quickly licks it and turns away.
Luis frowns. "Gross." He utters and wipes his hand on his pants only to remember her number is there. "Aw shit!" He glares at me. "That was evil Banks."
I shrug; I believe the saying goes misery loves company. "You should have learned her name."
Luis continues to glare at me. "I know, but man! She was cute!"
I roll my eyes and turn around. "Anything with legs right Mendoza?"
Luis grumbles and actually gets to work. I sigh happy for just a few moments because I don't have that girl's high pitched giggling in my ear.
~*~
I curl up in my bed after classes. Charlie, Averman and Connie have come into my room to see if I want to do anything. Connie's was the worst, she wanted me to invite Josie to go to a movie with her and Guy. I thought if she stayed in my room a moment longer I would have thrown one of the hockey pucks at her, that are on the shelf above my bed. All I know is that I'm glad Averman has a study group with Goldberg and Dwayne, which is absolutely has no purpose because they all don't understand science or basically any other subject in school.
A knock on my door brings me back to a harsh reality, where I look like a dead guy and the girl I like is going out with Fulton, well at least that's what I think. "Go away, I'm studying." I yell at the door.
"Adam, don't make me jimmy the lock."
I jump up at the voice I hear from behind the door. "Josie?"
"Yeah, now open the door before I go to Fulton's dorm and get him to break it down." I heard her impatient voice say.
I get up and open the door. Her eyes are red and puffy. She's been crying, but I don't want to push it.
"Can I come in?" She whispers avoiding my eyes.
I nod and step out of the way. "What are you doing here?"
She turns around and bites her lip. "I wanted to tell you in private at we are over. You can pretend I don't exist and I'll do the same for you because it seems to me we make each other's life miserable."
My jaw drops. "Over? I don't even know what I did this morning!"
"It was a mixture of things that you have put me through. . ." She begins to explain but is quickly cut off by me.
"THINGS I HAVE PUT YOU THROUGH!" I yell allowing my pent up anger to get the best of me and explode at her. "You mean the things you have put me through, like dragging my ass to Wisconsin, and yelling at me, and. . ."
Her eyes flicker. "No, I mean you have put me through the worst time of my life! You have made me relive things I thought I would never have to think about ever again! Adam Banks, you are the most self centered little jerk in this entire school, which is saying a lot because this school is filled with them!"
I take a breath. "Well you Miss Joslyn Best; are not so innocent. You are manipulative and completely out of your mind."
She blinked at me angrily and scowled. "I don't have to take this!" She yelled at me as she stomped toward the door swinging it open to reveal Averman standing behind it eavesdropping on our conversation. She looked at me and then at him. "Who is this?"
"My roommate." I reply in a loud tone.
Her eyes slid to Averman. "Name." She orders of him.
I see Averman swallow nervously. "Lester Averman."
Her eyes flash. "Lester, if you aren't out of my sight in five seconds I'm going to injure you in a way you never thought possible, instead of your roommate."
Averman's face goes completely pale and looks past her. "Sorry dude!" He yells to me and takes off down the hall.
She rolls her eyes and begins to walk out the door.
"Wait!" I yell at her. "You can't just threaten my roommate and then leave!"
She turns around as she reaches the hall and stares me down. "Well guess what? That's exactly what I'm doing because I'm through with arguing with you."
I felt my blood begin to boil as the rest of my hockey team filed from their rooms to see what the hell was going on. "Fine, then ignore the fact that I like you and you like me!"
I saw her wince as I said that. "Well what do you want me to do Adam? Throw you on a bed and do unspeakable things to you? I don't think so."
"Why because your doing that to fucking Fulton!" I yelled back at her. My throat began to get sore as we went along.
She glared at me again. "And what do you care if I have? To you I'm just another one of your trophies like everything else in your life!"
"You are not! Besides you are only going after Fulton because he doesn't look like me and Peter! Admit it!" I yelled back at her.
"FINE!" She screamed at me. Her voice echoing down the halls eerily. "Besides, I didn't go after Fulton."
I swallowed. "Oh." I kick myself for jumping to conclusions.
"Yeah oh." Her voice is quieter now.
"Then what did I do this morning?" I asked in almost a whisper.
She shook her head. "Nothing. I don't want to get close to you because it seems whoever I do get close to gets hurt and I'm not letting that happen to you." She turns her eyes away from me. "Just leave me alone Adam. I'm not letting myself like you."
"Well I like you."
Her eyes met mine for a second. "Well that's too bad. Because you're dead to me."
I watched as a tear rolled down her cheek for her second time as she turned away from me.
I felt my breathing get heavier I realized I wasn't alone in this hallway. I looked around at the faces of my team. Conaway, Russ, Portman and Kenny just to name a few. My eyes suddenly met Fulton's for a second. I turned them away from his sad eyes as I walked into my room and slammed the door. I have never had an argument like that in my life. I walked to Averman's stereo and began to flip through songs and finally settling on the one song that matched my life at the moment. The tune blared through the room and probably through the paper thin walls.
Met a girl, thought she was grand
fell in love, found out first hand.
Went well for a week or two
then it all came unglued
In a trapped trip I can't grip
never thought I'd be the one who'd slip
then I started to realize
I was living one big lie
She fucking hates me
trust
She fucking hates me
la la la love
I tried too hard
and she tore my feelings like I had none
and ripped them away
She was queen for about an hour
after that shit got sour
She took all I ever had
no sign of guilt
no feeling of bad, no
In a trapped trip I can't grip
never thought I'd be the one who'd slip
then I started to realize
I was living one big lie
She fucking hates me
trust
She fucking hates me
la la la love
I tried too hard
and she tore my feelings like I had none
and ripped them away
that's my story, as you see
learned my lesson and so did she
now it's over and I'm glad
'cause I'm a fool for all I've said
She fucking hates me
trust
she fucking hates me
la la la love
I tried too hard
and she tore my feelings like I had none
and ripped them away
la la la la la la la la la love
Trust
la la la la la la la la la love
Trust
and she tore my feelings like I had none
she fucking hates me!
I rolled over in my bed and covered my head with the sheets. Never once did I think that that song was going to be the anthem of my life.
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A/N: BIG Fight! Lots of fun to write, especially seeing I planned it out when I was angry at my brother a while ago. I give tons of credit to Puddle of Mud who performs the song She hates me, which I used right at the end. Good song to listen to when you are in the dumps, because it's loud and it kind of matches how you feel. Anyways, this chapter was for Beaner! Yay you! I know Adam and Josie didn't get together in this chapter, but it isn't over yet so hold on k?
REVIEW!
~Toodles!