Author: C. Night
Rating: PG-13
Category: Action/Adventure & Mystery
Disclaimer: Anything that you, Harry Potter fan that you are, recognize does not belong to me nor do I claim credit for it. All of the people, places and things of the HP universe belong to a Miss JK Rowling and a whole bunch of other chosen people. Anything you don't recognize, however, belongs to me and I would appreciate it if I was given due credit for them/it. Thanks.
A/N: We are almost at the end. Please let me know what you think. And a special Thank you to the editor in chief. You know who you are!
Title: Getting Out or Dying Trying
Chapter 10: The Phoenixes of Chaos & Stability
Remain Calm.
That was all I could do. One foot in front of the other. Keep walking and keep breathing. Don't think.
On my way to Dumbledore's office at 11:45 in the evening of Christmas. I must say this isn't how I thought I would be spending my holiday.
The gargoyle looms in front of me and I try to remember the latest password. Candy... what kind had been a fascination of Dumbledore's lately?
He had delved into Muggle sweets and from what I remember he had developed a fondness for, "Candy Canes."
Nothing.
The statue remains immobile and I feel like kicking the damned thing. It's not like I want to be here in the first place. Why should I even bother guessing anymore? I stare hard at the gargoyle and turn away from it.
I have to go up there. To get this settled. I wanted to finish. To be done. To get my answers and decide what the hell I was going to do about joining.
"Bloody Order," I mutter and much to my amusement the gargoyle opens.
Apparently Dumbledore is trying to get me in a good mood before I come up to his office. He probably doesn't want me to attack anyone or break some more of his precious knick-knacks.
Well, in that case... maybe I will anyway.
I walk quickly up the revolving staircase and stop at the door leading to the office. I raise my hand to knock, but the door opens before my fist ever touches it.
The room is different. That much is obvious.
There are long candles all over, which set an eerie glow on the circular office. The Headmaster's desk is gone and in its place there is a round table in the middle of the room. At the table seven people sit.
Professor Dumbledore, Professor McGonagall, Arthur Weasley, Snape, Alastor Moody, Kingsley Shacklebolt, and Remus Lupin.
Each of them is wearing the blue robes I have come to despise so much.
There is one empty seat obviously reserved for me.
I move forward and stand behind the chair. I wait. I am not sitting down until they ask me to. Something feels oddly ceremonious about the whole thing and as the portraits still lining the Headmaster's office watch me very closely I immediately feel tense.
"Please sit down Mr. Potter," the Headmaster says and I oblige.
No need to start off by breaking anything. I figure I will let them talk before I kill them. Well, not kill... ok yes maybe kill. But first I need to know some things.
"Over the past two days you, Harry James Potter, have been subjected to a test we in the Order refer to as The Crucible," Dumbledore intones gravely.
I contain a harsh snort at that- a crucible indeed.
"The test is an evaluation of your physical and mental endurance, magical prowess, daring, and values." Here Dumbledore pauses and seems to be suppressing a smile, "And over the past two days you, Harry, have exceeded all of our previous expectations and passed in a more spectacular manner than many believed possible."
I open my mouth to spew out a series of curses and accusations, but I find that my vocal cords have seized up, preventing me from speaking. Snape smirks at me.
Git.
Dumbledore continues, "Now before I explain what each portion of your test was designed to examine in your character, I believe it would be easier to immediately answer any of the more pressing questions you have in order to ensure that your attention be completely focused on the information I will be giving in a few moments. So Harry, ask away."
I feel my vocal cords relax and I know Snape has taken off his hex. So many questions. I want to know so much a million things flood to the forefront of my mind, but the one that I find the most urgent spurts out first, "Why did you have to kill Estine?"
Dumbledore seems a bit shocked, "Was that his name? I hadn't been aware. Either way the demise of your reptilian companion was necessary in order for you testing to be considered properly unaided. One of the main purposes of the test was to ensure that when faced with a difficult situation alone, you would be able to defend yourself and determine your own courses of action. To put it simply your snake, Estine was it?, was beginning to be considered too much of an asset to allow you to keep."
I wanted to scream. Estine was more to me than "an asset" damn it. He was more loyal to me than anyone in this room, but I had to know... how had they gotten Neolik involved?
So I asked.
"Well," Professor Dumbledore answered, "the owner of the castle you were tested in told me about a huge snake which lived on the outskirts of the Forbidden forest that had the odd tendency to devour all of the other snakes in the area. In fact, he told me that that particular snake was quite useful in getting rid of all the poisonous snakes in the area such as your Estine."
I couldn't stand it anymore. I stood up and slammed my hands down on the table in front of me, "USEFUL in getting RID OF ESTINE! That snake helped me more than most of you have in your whole-"
I found to my annoyance that Snape had snapped my vocal cords shut again and Moody and Shacklebolt were forcing me back into my seat.
"Now Harry," Professor McGonagall said once I was seated, "this discussion must be had and it would be much easier to finish if you would control your outbursts." Her stern lips narrowed as she said, "We have some things to discuss with you as well and we aren't particularly pleased with them either. So please restrain yourself."
One of the portraits on the wall muttered a "Quite right!" and I shot all of them (as I didn't know which one it was) a tremendously dirty look.
Professor Dumbledore cleared his throat to get my attention back on him and said, "Very well Harry, your next question."
I thought about the new information I had just gained and said, "Who is the owner of that castle I was in?"
At this Dumbledore smiled, "That would be my brother Aberforth. He, his children and his grandchild live there. He was kind enough, as he is a member of the Order as well, to allow us to use it for our purposes."
My breath caught in my throat, "So Andrew, Adrianna and-"
"Yes, Andrew Dumbledore is my brother's grandson and Adrianna Dumbledore, his twin sister, is his granddaughter." Dumbledore answered. "You didn't run into Aberforth's son and his daughter in law as they had decided to stay in a separate portion of the castle during your testing. Andrew and Adrianna had originally been supposed to remain there as well, however Aberforth thought that Andrew, brilliant child that he is, could be used as part of your testing. Adrianna - the little darling- decided that she wanted to play in the testing area and my brother never had the heart to tell her no. Mind you, don't tell Adrianna's father she was there as I am sure Anthony would be furious with both her and his father."
I nodded dumbly at all of this and then it hit me, "Everyone in your family has names that begin with the letter A?"
Dumbledore chuckled, "Yes, it is a bit of a family obsession."
I didn't find it amusing.
I couldn't believe I hadn't seen it before. Andrew and Adrianna both had bright blue eyes just like Dumbledore's and I distinctly remembered that in Tom Riddle's diary from my second year that Dumbledore once had red hair just about the exact same shade as that of the two children.
"Wait, what about Abe? That kid whose room I was in before I found... you," I said awkwardly.
At this everyone at the table laughed, "Aberforth, my brother," Dumbledore explained, "prefers to be referred to as Abe."
My eyes widened, "But that room was a kid's room. The walls, the bed, there were toys in there! There was even a little kiddy sign on the door with a..."
OH MERLIN!
The sign on that door! The sign had what on it? A goat reading a book. And what was the only piece of information I had even known about Aberforth Dumbledore prior to today?
I thought back to the time in my fourth year when Dumbledore, Hermione, Ron, Hagrid and I were talking about family members we had that weren't exactly model citizens. What had Dumbledore said?
"My own brother Aberforth, was prosecuted for practicing improper charms on a goat. It was all over the papers, but did Aberforth hide? No, he did not! He held his head high and went about his business as usual! Of course, I am not entirely sure he can read..." the old Headmaster had told us.
Aberforth couldn't read and he supposedly practiced charms on a goat! The sign must have been some kind of joke.
I couldn't believe it. I started laughing. It was almost too ridiculous to believe.
When I finally stopped laughing Dumbledore said, "The Dumbledores have always been educators and it is tradition for us to own castles hidden very nearby the schools in which we teach. When I chose to simply live in Hogwarts full time when I became Headmaster, I simply gave my castle to my brother and his family. Thus the mystery of its location is revealed."
So far everything made sense, but I still wanted to know something that would determine just how mad I was going to get when this conversation was all over, "Does every single order member go through this test?"
At my words all of the people at the table froze.
Dumbledore inhaled deeply and finally said, "You are the first to go through the Crucible."
I think they all expected me to knock over the table and scream and start slicing and dicing them with my sword (which wasn't even with me by the way), but I didn't.
I just sat there. I turned my green eyes on the Headmaster's blue ones and said, "Why me?"
Dumbledore seemed to be immensely relieved that I hadn't gone spare at the news and said, "Well normally we do not let anyone join the Order until they are of age thus the idea of initiating you caused quite the stir. It was decided that we should give you some sort of test to make sure you were both capable and worthy. Originally the test was going to be much simpler and take place right in the school. Furthermore, we were going to tell you what was going on rather than..."
"Kidnapping me," I finished harshly.
"Yes," Dumbledore said softly.
"Then why the sudden change of heart?" I demanded angrily.
"Well that has to do with the traditional structure of the Order. Since its formation the Order has always had its Head and then an inner and outer circle. The Inner Order has always consisted of eight members. These eight are then divided into two groups which we in the Order have nicknamed Chaos and Stability. The Chaos Sector deals with the matters of crisis situations. This group is the one which gathers members from the outer order and leads them into combat and also helps the Head of the Order decide on a course of action in the times when Voldemort attacks or when the Ministry becomes, as it did over the previous year, a hostile organization," Dumbledore began to explain.
The Head of the Order took a breath and continued, "The Stability Sector performs tasks more common to every day life. They focus most of their attention on matters of retaining peace. They work in the ministry in the school and even among the ranks of Voldemort himself to try, in anyway they can, to keep the piece. Now since the Order has reformed, the inner Order has comprised of the following individuals you see before you. The Chaos Sector consists of Alastor Moody, Kingsley Shacklebolt, and Remus Lupin. The Stability Sector consists of Arthur Weasley, Minerva McGonagall, and Severus Snape. The very people here with you today. And I, of course, am the Head," Professor Dumbledore continued.
"But what does this have to do with you? I am sure you are wondering," Dumbledore continued before I could say a word. "Last year, it was decided that the inner order would only comprise of seven members rather than eight. Three in the Stability Sector and the usual four in the Chaos Sector. The last spot in the Stability Sector was to be saved for you once you turned of age. However, with Sirius' unfortunate demise last year, we are now left with one less Phoenix agent in the Chaos Sector. As a remedy it was suggested, by Remus Lupin, that we bring you into the Order early and have you take up your held position in the Stability Sector immediately. However that would still leave us with only three agents in the Chaos Sector. Of course, it was immediately suggested that we promote someone from the outer order, such as Nymphadora Tonks, up to take that spot. However, I had an idea."
Dumbledore paused here and seemed to be bracing himself for a terrible backlash from me. "I suggested that we have you join the Order of the Phoenix and become the first person to take up a double position as both a Chaos Agent and a Stability Agent. The idea was at first shot down by many protestors in both the inner and outer circle who felt that you were not even ready to take up your position in the tamer Stability Sector, let alone the violent and arduous job of a Chaos Agent. So then a new test was proposed and for many weeks we devised a strenuous test to see if you could truly handle the job of a Chaos Agent as well as a Stability Agent. As an Stability Agent, you would have simply had to make sure that all the students in school were not alarmed by the situation with Voldemort. You would have had to just take up the role as the student role model, someone to whom students could go to if they had any questions about the war; but as a Chaos Agent you would be thrust into the heat of battle. You must understand Harry, we had to test you."
Chaos, Stability, The Order, Voldemort, Sirius and the Ministry! It was so much to take in, but I was beginning to understand.
I didn't like it, but I understood it.
"So how did you set up this whole test," I find myself saying and I honestly wonder why the hell I am even asking. I don't really care at all. I am just glad I got out of there. I don't want to know about how they set it up. I really don't.... but then Moody starts talking and I find myself listening anyway.
"Well, Potter," the man said in his usual gruff tones, "you'll be saddened to hear that it is disturbingly easy to kidnap you. It's a wonder that Voldemort hasn't done it more often."
I narrow my eyes and he seems to decide that he has said enough on that subject. So he continues to explain how they did it. "Now I know you don't remember how you got into your little Starting Cubicle, so I'll tell you. It was around 10:00 on the night before Christmas Eve and you were strolling back from the kitchens where you had spent an hour doing Merlin knows what with the Zabini girl."
Both Snape and I gave him the most deadly glares known to man, but he brushed them off with the ease of a true Auror. "Next time you want to go traipsing around with your girlfriend Potter, be a bit more alert. Although I will give you credit for not looking like you were being alert. But your eyes gave you away. Twinkling as madly as Albus' over here." At this, I blushed the tiniest bit and Dumbledore broke out into a bright and genuine smile. Damn him. "So I knew you really weren't paying attention to anyone or anything as you walked back to your tower. Thus it was ridiculously easy for me to stun you and cart you to Dumbledore's office where we portkeyed you and me directly into a cell we had prepared."
When Moody saw my eyes widen he said, "Yes, you and me. I came with you, transfigured a chair, tied you to it, placed an Aucupium on you (which is a device sort of like a Muggle surveillance camera on you so that we would be able to see everything you did no matter where you were), and finally I pulled your wand out of your wrist holster and hid it in a corner under a obscuration charm."
My eyes widen again and I felt like slamming my head into the table. My wand had been there the entire time, in the cell with me and I didn't even know it.
"We had thought," spoke Remus for the first time since I saw him, "that it would be far too difficult for you to try to ward off the boggarts we had set up outside your cell and escape without a wand. You proved us wrong."
"I must commend you Harry," Professor McGonagall said from her seat to my right, "for your intense magical focus, as it takes a tremendous amount of will power, not only magical power, to create spherical manifestations of raw magic as you did to destroy the walls of your cell."
"BUT," Moody put in, "It was incredibly stupid of you not too feel around for your wand instead of assuming that it wasn't around just because you couldn't see it."
"Boggarts?" I muttered weakly.
"Yes," Remus responded, "We set up a station of about five boggarts outside of your cell in the hopes that your greatest fear would still be dementors and that they would cause your escape to be even more difficult. They seemed to affect you even more severely than usual, but we weren't sure exactly what they did to you."
"Visions," I whispered. "Instead of just hearing the deaths of my parents, Cedric, and Sirius, I could see them too."
This proclamation drew gasps from McGonagall and Mr. Weasley (who until then hadn't said a word) and widened eyes from everyone else, but Snape (who of course didn't really care).
"Well," Moody continued after a minute or so of silence. "Once you escaped the room, with that snake we weren't exactly sure how to proceed. Originally we were going to have fifteen of the outer order members come into the room you were in and fight you, but then we decided that fifteen would be too many for a kid without a wand. So we quickly downsized to ten."
"Tonks, Bill Weasley, Charlie Weasley, Molly Weasley, Diggle, Fletcher, Vance, Jones, Podmore and Doge," said Moody ticking them off on his fingers, "were all sent in to get you once you were stuck trying to open the door. They were told not to use any Unforgivables, of course, not to let you know who they were, and to fight as though you were not a Death Eater, but just a hostile innocent (as you run across those every so often). Since you didn't have a wand we all expected it to be over soon and we would decide based on your performance if we would let you in the Order."
"You, however, surprised us all when you stole Diggle's wand right from the get go with that leg swiping trick of yours," Moody said with a hint of pride in his gruff voice.
"But of course there still were nine of them verses only one of you. And then, once we all thought that you were through you transformed into that –"
"Absolutely magnificent creature," Remus finished with a somewhat wistful smile.
"Yes, he does have quite an impressive form, doesn't he?" McGonagall agreed with a satisfied smile.
"Right," Moody said with the air of someone desperate to escape the topic at hand, "So then you transformed knock down Fletcher, Tonks, and Vance all in one shot and when Molly tried to shoot a spell at her you pounced on her."
My heart stops for a moment at this. That woman that I got quite a bit of satisfaction in bury my claws into was Mrs. Weasley? The same Mrs. Weasley who knits me sweaters and sends me cakes in the summer?
Mr. Weasley seems to be able to read my expression and says, "Don't you worry about Molly, Harry, she is perfectly alright now. No scars or anything," he reassured me. "Though there was quite a bit of blood at first. Never mind that though, she's fine Harry, no harm done."
I let out a breath of relief before I could stop myself. What was I doing? She was attacking me. I had only attacked her in self defense! I shouldn't feel sorry!
But I did... damned conscience.
"Well then you created that rope to the ceiling, quite the trick there Potter, but one must ask why you didn't levitate yourself," Moody continued as if there had been no pause.
"I didn't have my own wand yet," I answered. "I wasn't about to use a wand which wasn't even that compatible with me to begin with to levitate myself to the ceiling. And besides if I was going to use a spell to break the ceiling how could I do that while holding a levitating spell?"
Moody seemed to nod to himself before he said, "You are quite good a rope climbing though aren't you?"
I narrowed my eyes annoyed, yes I was good. I knew that already. Stop trying to suck up to me! I wanted to scream. I was still angry and telling me I was a good rope climber wasn't going to change anything.
'In fact,' I realized just then, 'nothing any of them could ever say would make things be the same as they were. Maybe I still would join the Order and maybe we would still talk, maybe we would still even laugh and joke together, but things would never, ever be the same as they were.
Amazing how so much can change in mere hours. So many people I would never fully trust again. I sigh and much to my amusement realize that Moody has still been talking during my inner-musings.
"After you patched up your hole in the glass ceiling we wondered just exactly you were going to do on the roof," his gruff voice was declaring.
"You see, Mr. Potter," Professor McGonagall takes over seemingly due to the fact that she realized I was not paying attention, "We had not anticipated any movement of yours on the roof so we just decided to see that your course of action would be should no one interfere."
"And brilliant Potter decided," Snape said bitingly, "to take a nap on the freezing cold roof."
"On the contrary Severus," Professor Dumbledore retorted carefully, "Harry's decision to regain his strength on the roof was a critical well-made decision. If you will recall, he healed himself while atop the roof and got a bit of a rest after his no doubt exhausting venture into the passion filled world of wandless magic."
Snape snorts and I try to keep my face absolutely expressionless. I do not accept complements from Albus Dumbledore without suspicion.
Dumbledore seems to read my expressionless face... how he did that... I have no idea, but the sigh he lets out upon looking at my face almost makes me feel bad.
Almost.
"Well," Professor McGonagall picks up the tale, "then you proceeded from the chimney to the parlor in which Miss. Dumbledore was...playing," she pauses here and seems to be trying to refrain from making an unflattering comment about Adrianna.
"And after regaining your... Estine you continued directly into the next test. A test of your values. Originally the test was designed not to test your fighting skills, but was meant as a test of your principles."
"This Order," Remus picks up smoothly, "is an organization based upon aiding those of both the magical and muggle communities in any way that we can and refusing to give up regardless of unfavorable circumstance or nearly impossible odds."
I had to physically lift my hand and cover my mouth to somewhat bury my snort at this statement. That was the biggest load of dung I had ever heard in my life. Oh, yes sending me through "the crucible" was very kind indeed.
Right.
All the Order members looked at me reprovingly when I snorted (though I did at least try to hide it), and I refused to look away. I dared them.
'Go ahead. Try to tell me I was being disrespectful. Go ahead and I will break everything in this office. And then,' I thought as my glance drifted to the candles all around, 'I'll set it on fire.'
I smile slightly at the thought.
Snape narrows his eyes at me and I can feel him trying to get into my head, but my shields are up. Occlumency at its best. He isn't getting in my thoughts. Not today.
Dumbledore breaks our staring contest with a harsh cough and I lean back in my chair satisfied that I am no longer the subject of Snape's probing.
Remus seems a bit shaken up but continues, "Right, so the room that you entered contained Mr. Andrew Dumbledore chained to a table being subjected to a variant of the Cruciatus curse."
I am sure my jaw hit the floor with that statement. They subjected a child to something close to the Cruciatus just to "test" me.
"That is hideous," I say aloud more to myself than anyone else, but Dumbledore responds.
"Harry," he says quite calmly, "I would never subject my brother's grandson to any kind of pain. I would never do that to anyone I love unless absolutely necessary."
I got the hidden message behind those words. But I really didn't want to think about what that could mean for me.
I sighed, "Right sure, whatever you say. And this is getting fairly ridiculous. I already know exactly what I went through over the past two days... do I really need you to recite it all to me? Trust me, I have things I'd rather be doing."
'Do I ever... and not alone either,' I think making sure to leave my thoughts open for viewing just to see... ah there it is!
Snape's upper lip was just about lost in the sneer that seemed to develop over him entire face.
I wanted to grin like a five year old, but alas I could not.
Snape looked about ready to explode and snapped out, "Well pardon us for wanting to take up some of your precious and very valuable time Potter," he began spitting my name like a swear word.
"Perhaps we should find someone else to take your two positions as I am sure that there are others who would value them far more than you do!" he continued viciously.
I couldn't help but respond in the same manner. Standing up I slam my hands on the round table in front of me and scream, "FINE! Why don't you do find someone else to take your precious Order positions up instead of me!"
I pause at the semblance of satisfaction that flashes briefly across the face of the Potion's Master. He wanted me to refuse. That was his plan. He goaded me on and is trying to get me to storm out.
I wanted to leap across the table and bash the man's brains out. Instead I did something that would infuriate him even more.
I sat back down.
"I am truly sorry," I said in a suddenly polite and calm tone. "Terrible bouts of temper I've been dealing with lately. Please continue your explanation and I am sure that I will come to reason and gladly take up my two coveted positions in your prestigious Order."
All at once it seemed that every one at the table's jaws hit the floor excepting Snape Dumbledore and obviously my own.
Harry Potter feints left, the crowd can't find him! What the hell is going on?!
Dumbledore is grinning like a mad man and I want to shake him silly, but I want to drive Snape out his mind more...but shaking Dumbledore repeatedly and demanding that he explain his warped thought process has been one of my dreams for quite some time now... ah decisions decisions!
I choose Snape's insanity.
Snape though seems to know my game and says, "Why Mr. Potter I'd be happy to carry on with our explanation of the events of the last two days. Let's continue with how we subjected Andrew Dumbledore to a Cruciatus like curse, locked him into a magically sustained web of magic, and forced him to scream."
My blood is boiling, but I force myself to smile lightly and say, "Ah, but I believe Professor Dumbledore was about to explain the exact type of spell dear Andrew was under. Weren't you Professor?"
Dumbledore grins at me and says, "Ah yes the curse is very complicated, but simply it causes the same outward effects of the Cruciatus without the intense pain associated. I am sure your friend Miss Granger would be quite willing to explain all its properties to you should you wonder. And Andrew I must say was quite pleased at the chance to make a ruckus by screaming him little lungs out."
I smile here; Andrew is a wonderful child... even though he is a Dumbledore thing.
"But carrying on," Dumbledore continued, "You entered our little chamber and tried to force yourself past Professor McGonagall, Professor Snape, Alastor, Arthur Weasley, and our own Tonks.
"Now you must understand Harry," the aged Headmaster told me, "that the web of magic you tore through today was held up by five very powerful wizards and witches, and yet you tore through it, wand waving, like a knife through a chocolate frog. An impressive feat indeed. You must tell us what spells you used to get through."
Smiling slightly I ignored Dumbledore's request and said, "A knife through a chocolate frog?"
Dumbledore's eyes twinkled a bit more brightly and said, "What spells Harry?"
Damn. No sidestepping today.
"I don't know. I just got really mad," Snape snorted at this and I paused to smile at him. When the man grimaced I smiled even more brightly.
I think I just found my new hobby.
Dumbledore coughed once more and I wondered vaguely if I should offer him a cough drop. I turned my gaze from Snape and said, "Yeah, I don't know what spells I use I got really angry and I just ran straight into the thing."
Dumbledore seemed pleased while the others at the table seemed shocked, but before I could ask he was continuing with the story.
"After freeing Andrew you engaged in a rather nasty skirmish in which you showed us your ability to apparate, your intense dueling ability against very skilled opponents indeed and of course the astounding transfiguration of you two Aedifico clones," Dumbledore said proudly.
I nodded along bored, only half listening to what Dumbledore was saying until he said, "Then proceeded to use Estine to deliver quite the incapacitating blow to Auror Tonks."
"That was Tonks?" I said astounded.
I couldn't believe it. I had felt such an intense hated for that woman who had been taunting me in the chamber. I had even laughed after Estine had bit her. And then Andrew had told me about his venom being-
"Is she ok?" I asked hurriedly. If anything had happened to Tonks because of me I was-
My thoughts were interrupted by Dumbledore saying, "Yes Harry she is perfectly fine. As an Auror, Tonks is required to know a multitude of spells to heal and even detoxify the worst of snake bites."
I was still a bit skeptical, "But Andrew-"
"Really Potter," Snape said impatiently are you really going to take the word of a five year old boy over that of the Headmaster?"
I resisted the urge to spit in his face and smiled sweetly, "You're right Professor Snape. What was I thinking?"
Snape smirked and said, "Well if I may take up the tale Headmaster, you, Potter, proceeded to try to take young Mr. Dumbledore to safety only to have him taken from you by the recently bitten Auror Tonks who knew he had to be kept away from you for fear that he reveal anything. Then after you regained your sight which you foolishly allowed to be taken from you, you then proceeded to gain a sudden knowledge of the castle. Enough so to navigate yourself and your snake out doors. Would you care, Mr. Potter to explain your sudden knowledge?"
I actually though about it for a moment before I said, "I cannot explain it, though I think it had something to do with my lost eyesight. It turned out to be quite the benefit. Wouldn't you say?"
Snape's eyes narrowed and he kept his mouth shut.
We sat in silence for a moment before Remus cleared his throat and said, "Very well. So you got outside and ventured into the forest... and I believe we all know what happened out there. This was not a part of your test at all. In fact we had expected the last room would be able to enter to be the one with Andrew in it. But as usual," he said with a smile, "You surpassed everyone's expectations.
I smiled somewhat genuinely at this. But quickly wiped it off my face when I remembered Remus's part in the events.
"After you gained the Sword and killed the snake you collapsed and we had our opportunity to bring you back to the castle. When you awoke eight of us were in Abe's room with you. Most had actually been recently healed in the area. We had to keep you in there as your final test was hurriedly being prepared nearby, but when you got upset at our teasing you used your sword as... a wand and... discovered your heritage."
"So you knew? About me being the heir?" I demanded angrily forgetting all about my false happiness in the heat of the moment.
"Yes Harry," Dumbledore responds and I can't help but admire the way that he has been fielding all the difficult questions rather than letting others take any of the heat.
"We were aware of your heritage but did not tell you as it truly doesn't change who you are. We were afraid that you may feel additional pressure from it were you to know, the same kind of pressure you must feel in being the Boy-Who-Lived and we thought it would be beneficial to spare you some of that."
Dumbledore sees my mouth opening and hurries on, "I am aware that it wasn't truly our right, but we were going to inform you when you turned of age and inherited the Sword and other Gryffindor artifacts. Please understand Harry that we were just trying to spare you an extra burden."
Tired of yelling I just nodded and Dumbledore seemed to appreciate it. I mean really, was I not still the same person that I was before I knew? I was still me, so what did it really matter? So I was coming from a powerful line, didn't I already know I was powerful? Alright, so no big deal.
Professor Dumbledore continued, "After stunning the eight Order members including Remus here, you followed the interestingly realistic false smell of food we used to lure you to the dining hall where you found me along with four of my own Aedifico clones. But these were specially designed to search you for certain qualities. Did you not wonder why exactly the corpses of my clones produced seemingly randomly colored phoenixes?"
I felt like whacking the man over the head. Of course I had wondered!
I think my thought showed in my expression for Dumbledore said, "Each of the phoenixes and the smoke they appeared in matched the colors of each of the four Hogwarts houses. And after you were able to decide which one of the five was not me the birds would appraise you and if they deemed you worthy to be a member of the house whose colors they wore they would let out a note and disappear."
"Obviously," the Remus continued, "You were decided to have all of the qualities of each of the four houses and in being able to determine which of the five were frauds and which the true Albus Dumbledore you were finally decided to be worthy of two positions in the Order."
There was moment of silence and McGonagall said, "Your reaction was... unexpected to say the least; though in hindsight it should have been rather obvious. We had just put you through an excruciating evaluation and expected you to welcome those you had seen as enemies with open arms. But you have to understand that we were cheering you on internally the entire time. Even when we were aiming curses your way we were desperately hoping you would dodge and praying that you would know the counter curse. It was quite relieving for us to see you succeed so wonderfully. We were so proud and we knew your parents would have been so proud. So in the happiness of the moment we forgot that you were naturally going to be angry. Can you really fault us for that Harry?"
I sat still for a good few minutes. Could I really blame them for that?
"No," I finally whispered. "I can't blame you for that."
Arthur Weasley seemed immensely relieved at this and said, "So we can begin the planning of your formal initiation immediately. We were hoping that it would be soon. A few days from now at most and definitely before the holiday is over. Then afterward you could come and spend some time at the Burrow afterwards, the kids were very upset that Molly and I would not be around for all of Christmas day with them, but it would surely make up for it if we were to bring you home with-!"
"No," I interrupted coldly.
Everyone at the table who had begun to relax and start smiling at me immediately tensed again.
"No what, Harry?" Mr. Weasley asked carefully.
"No visits to the Burrow, not now. I am sorry Mr. Weasley I have someone to spend my holiday with right here," I responded.
The tension seemed to leave the table once more. Mr. Weasley smiled slightly and said, "Very well then Harry, perhaps next year. But about the initia-"
"No initiation," I said firmly.
"But Harry-" six voices began to protest at me all at once.
"I said," I interrupted clearly, "that I forgave you for loosing yourselves in the moment and trying to congratulate me after putting me through hell, however the entire Crucible... I don't think I can ever forgive you for that. Regardless of what you were trying to test or what positions you needed to see if I could fill what you did was inexcusable. I am not saying no outright, even though that is what I desperately want to do. I want to make sure I think this through properly. I need time. I need time to think it over and I cannot guarantee that I will have decided what to do by the end of the Christmas holiday. So if you want to save my positions while I decide I would appreciate it, but if you need them filled don't hesitate in doing so. I need more time than you are offering me right now."
"It is good that you are being so mature about this Harry however," Dumbledore began, but I interrupted.
"No however's. I have made my decision. I need more time to think this through properly," I said standing up and making for the door.
At the last minute I turned around and said, "Can I have my wand?"
And as Dumbledore handed me the slender holly wand I saw many conflicting emotions brewing in his stormy blue eyes.
~*~*~*~*~
Author (C. Night) Notes: Sigh... that chapter was hell on earth! I still don't even like it but I had to post it. URG! If you liked it be sure to tell me. If not I might get all annoyed and take it down because I think it sucks. I am desperately trying to hit 100 reviews before this thing is over so please, please review! Only the epilogue left now. But I honestly don't know. I have to give it some more thought because I was thinking of including another Blaise scene and if I did that it would be another chapter and then the epilogue. But either way it will be over very soon! Sigh... it's been lots of fun!
Alright now I've had several ideas for stories bouncing around my head all of which would be related in some way shape or form to this story so I would like you all to vote (in a review) on which one you like best and I can start setting down some ideas on paper based on what people want to read.
Here we go (working titles):
1) Diary of a Tainted Aristocrat- A Blaise Zabini story which would be written from her point of view (1st person). It would begin in the summer before 6th year in which she interacts with good old Cousin Draco, Aunt Narcissa, and of course good old aspiring Death Eater Dad. It would progress into the school year when she becomes potions partners with the one and only Harry Potter. Read as her views crumble beneath her and she and Harry work to build up new ones together. It will NOT be in diary style.
2) Behind The Crucible- This would be very closely linked with GOoDT and would be the Order's POV on both Harry's testing and reaction. It would start before he actually took the test and would show exactly how it was planned and reveal every single little thing hidden in GOoDT that otherwise you may never know. It would be written in the 3rd person.
3) Through Hell and High Water- A Hermione/Ron story in which we explore their newly developing relationship and see just how JKR's seemingly canon couple will stand against my whims. Hehehe! (It will not be picture perfect, as I really think that if the two do end up together their relationship will not be easy.) And we'll explore their reaction when Harry finally fesses up about Blaise and the deeply passionate relationship he is developing with the Slytherin. How will it affect the trio's friendship? And will it cause trouble with Ron and Hermione's relationship? Um...YES!
There is one more, but I can't put it here as it has to do with the ending of this story and obviously you don't know what is going to happen yet! Heheh! So just vote on these for now. Thanks.
To the wonderful people who reviewed the last chapter I would love to put all of your names up here and express just how much every word means to me as usual, but alas it is later than usual and I have to get up early tomorrow. I am sorry, but this coveted section of mine will have to wait until another time, but please continue to review. I really do appreciate it. Thank you!
Until next time.... review!
~*~*~*~*~
