I rocked back and forth in our change room. I was terrified to lean and yet
terrified to stay on the ice. I shivered slightly and took a deep breath.
Even if I wanted to leave I wouldn't. This place was all I had left of her.
I scoffed I had a lot to think about. Finals were in a week, which meant
less than five classes until she may not be sitting beside me in English
every morning. I wouldn't have that anymore either. The play offs were just
beginning to get started, which actually signaled the end of hockey.
I never liked endings. Even in fairy tales. I remember my nanny (yes! I had a nanny!), she would read me bedtime stories when I was a toddler and I would hate the endings. I would pretend to be asleep just so I wouldn't hear the ending, because endings are never a nice thing. It means something stops. I'm not sure what, but something and it scares me.
That's why my heart broke as she told me it's over. My Josie, it can't be over. It hasn't even begun. I stared down at the torn picture that sat in my lap. She was still blowing a kiss to something. I put the two halves together and smiled, remembering the thing the doctor during the Goodwill games told me.
**
"It's a sprain, no broken bones, your lucky Mr. Banks."
I stared up at the doctor. He had big white puffy eyebrows and was going bald. How did that happen? I moved my shoulder a little and frowned at the sling. "Thanks." I mumbled.
He patted my other shoulder and shook his head. "You athletes, especially hockey players; you all think you're invincible. You're lucky, if you injured it again, you may have effected you're career."
I nodded. "Coach Bombay already chewed me out for playing injured."
"And rightly so." He said loosening his tie slightly. "Some things can be fixed Mr. Banks. You're a lucky one, because give it a few weeks and it will be better than ever."
**
I smiled. There she was again, blowing me a kiss. Maybe that doctor was right about some things. Maybe all I had to do was give her time. A week. Maybe, in a weeks time she'll see she was just, if not more so miserable without me! Not that I want her to be miserable, I just want to be the one who makes her happy. To tell the truth, I just don't want to be the one who is causing her anymore tears.
I sat on the bench and decided to go through my hockey bag, which reminded me, it stank like a skunk's backside; I grimaced at the smell. I may be a hockey player, but I never did get used to that smell; maybe it's because when I was just starting hockey my mother would send my stuff out to be cleaned after every game saying that no house of hers was going to smell like my hockey stuff. My father of course would always counter; by saying she was depriving me of that manly smell. I hate to say it, but my father was right and now I have to get my stuff cleaned, which also reminded me, the school doesn't have a dry cleaner on the grounds. I would have to pack up all my stuff and go to the Laundromat downtown town and do it myself, or I could go home and get my mother to do it.
Being the lazy, rich boy I was, I opted for the second option. I wasn't too pleased with the fact that I would have to talk to my father, whom I'm positively sure would yell at me for walking away from him and then I would have to sit through that awkward silence at the dinner table because no one wants to admit their wrong, or worse, no one want to acknowledge the fact that something is wrong. No, instead they want to eat their roast in utter silence with awkward statements, with angry undertones, that usually are 'pass the salt' or 'that meat is truly tender'. Besides, I didn't want to see her in the dining hall.
~*~
I waved at Portman as he drove away. Thank God he had a driver's license or I would have been stuck taking the bus.
I sighed as I walked up the front steps to my home. The bus; Josie and I took the bus to Wisconsin. She fell asleep on my shoulder. She told me on the bus that I was the only one who truly knew her.
How I hated the fact that I was connected to the public transportation system
I unlocked the door with my key and looked around. It was fairly the same since I had last been here, which had been about two weeks. The only thing that was different was a new throw rug under my feet and the smell of cleaner. Father must've fired the old maid. The new maid used pine scented cleaner.
Pine. Trees. Wood. I closed my eyes and I could almost picture the woods Josie took me too. I could almost feel her heat as she landed on top of me. If only I took a chance and kissed her right there. No, I was still in denial that I didn't like her. And now I'm stuck here, completely miserable and Josie-less.
"Adam?"
I jumped at the sound of my name. I smiled. "Mom?"
She walked out of the den smiling. "Oh Adam! It's been too long."
I rolled my eyes as she hugged my neck. My mother always greeted me as if I were one of her country club friends she hasn't seen in a month. She doesn't actually show that she's excited; she keeps herself calm and collected. She was like the mother figure in corny TV commercials that you always muted because they are so annoying. "Yeah, I should have come home sooner." I grinned as she let go.
She blinked at me, which reminded me, I have to family talk now. My parents don't really like me using slang outside of the arena so saying 'Yeah' was probably not a good thing to do. So for now I have to delete the words yeah, yup, dunno, whatever etc. etc. etc. From now on they are yes, yes, I don't know and a big smile.
"I brought home some clothes that need washing. I haven't had the time to because of my homework." I plastered on a fake smile. Ok, that was a slight lie. I haven't had time to do laundry because I have been gallivanting around with Josie over state lines, and roller discoing and skating and sneaking her on and off buses. Oh and don't forget yelling and screaming and crying and mourning.
My mom smiled. "Oh that's ok. As long as you keep up in your studies." She patted my head and took my hockey bag minus my skates and the large backpack full of my clothes and began to walk toward the basement, where our laundry room is. My mother likes to act like Mrs. Cleaver from 'Leave it to Beaver', that's where she gets the head pat from. I think she likes to think she has the perfect family, but I'm not fooled, nobody is perfect, besides, being the youngest child, I am far from being Beaver. "Your father is in the den. He would probably love to speak with you."
I sighed as she left. That really meant is, go into the den, your father wants to yell at you a little bit, which means she knows all about me walking away from him. I slump my way to the den and quickly correct my posture as I entered. "Hi Dad."
My father looked up from his newspaper. "Son." I watched his eyes flicker. "It's nice to see you have taken time out of your studies to visit your family, even though we live minutes away."
Oh yes, I remember. My father wasn't pleased I was living on campus. He wanted to keep his ever watchful eye on me at all times. I finally convinced him that I just wanted to make sure I was connected to the team and if I lived there I could probably get more practice time in on the private rink. I reality I just wanted some freedom. I didn't want to be under his rules anymore. "Yes well, exams are coming up. I have been studying."
"Practicing hard too, I hope. Especially if you want a scholarship to a prestigious university." He added; his eyes locked on the paper.
I swallowed. "I'm in grade ten."
He nodded, barely hearing me. "I know, but scouts are out there; you should be focusing on hockey and your marks and not other . . . distractions."
My blood began to boil. "Distractions?" I asked through gritted teeth. I knew exactly he was getting at.
"Yes, distractions." I remember when my father and I used have a good relationship. I think it really began to spiral after the pee wee championship. He used to always be there for me. Now that I think about it, I think I realized that my father and I clashed was when Coach Bombay told Coach Riley I was on the wrong team. He said I would rather not play hockey than play for the Ducks. Did my dad not know me? I would rather not live; than not play hockey!
"You mean like social gatherings." I knew he wouldn't like the fact I was pretending to be oblivious.
His eyes met mine quickly. "No. I want you to go to school events. Schools like students with school spirit, which is why you are going to that annual dance in a week or so; am I correct?"
"I haven't really thought about it." I wasn't lying. I really hadn't.
"Well you should. I mean things like off campus, un-school related things." He said calmly closing the newspaper and neatly folding it in half on his lap. "Like that girl for example during the hockey game. You were focusing on her and you didn't score. . ."
"I didn't score, father," I spat angrily, "is because the other team's defense was hard and you interrupted my concentration."
His eyes widened and his lips pursed. "Adam Nathanial Banks. How dare you blame me for your own mistakes!"
I put on my game face. My father and I constantly went at it, but this was a new form of it. Usually it would be subtle remarks that would get under each other's skin, but this time it was out in the open and beginning to get loud. I wasn't going to lose this fight. I wasn't doing anything wrong. "And how dare you blame my friend for distracting me!"
The look on my father's face softened as my mother entered the room with a cheery, oblivious smile on her face. He blinked and his eyes were once on mine again. "You have plenty of time of girls later. You are fifteen; you should be focusing on more important things."
My mom smiled and put her hands on my shoulders. "Does my baby have a girlfriend?"
I almost gagged. I hated my mother's pet names for me, baby, sweetie; it made me feel like a little girl. "No mom, just a . . . friend." I swallowed. She wasn't exactly a friend anymore.
She smirked and kissed my cheek. "Friend, girlfriend, it's all the same." She looked over at my father and smiled. "We started going out when I was fifteen."
My father rolled his eyes. "Yes darling, you were, I however was seventeen and I didn't have talent like our Adam does."
My mother walked away from me and shook her head lightly. "I'm going to go check on supper. You will be staying Adam, right?"
The words, 'kill me now' crossed my mind. Yes mom." I smiled. "What are we having?"
She smiled and nodded. "Oh, a lovely roast."
I rolled my eyes. Typical.
~*~
I walked up to my dorm room and opened the door quietly. It was late, and I didn't want to disturb if Averman went to bed early, like he usually did on the nights after an early morning practice. I looked into the room and saw him with a girl making out. I jumped dropping my bags into the corner of the room and closed the door quietly. Whoa! When did Averman get a g__"
Wait better question.
When did girls start liking Averman?
I took a deep breath and walked to Charlie and Guy's dorm and knocked quietly. Charlie opened the door a crack and smiled. "Hey Banksie! Guy and I were just discussing our homework!"
I shook my head. "Translated out of your code: Hey Banksie! Guy and I have no clue what we are doing! Help me!"
Guy opened the door the rest of the way, hair running through his blond hair. "Yup. Want to help me pass English?"
"Sure. Why not seeing my dorm has been taken over!" I said walking into their room.
Charlie looked confused "Averman took your dorm over? It's not like he has a girl or something."
I sat down on Guy's bed and pushed myself against the wall. "Oh?"
"Averman has a girl?" Charlie laughed. "As in a female counterpart?"
"As in on his bed right now making out with him."
Guy smirked. "Well that's something we don't hear everyday."
I nodded. "It's not something I walk into everyday either. Anyways, what are we working on?"
Guy tossed me the book that was on the floor and I caught it in midair and looked at the title in shock.
Charlie bit his lip. "You have read it, right? Didn't I see you reading it over the summer while everyone else was you know; having fun and getting a tan, Casper?"
This was a new one. Casper. I'm not THAT pale. But I wasn't really paying attention to the book in my hands. It couldn't be.
"Earth to Adam? We need help!"
I jumped as Guy's hand broke my gaze at the title on the book.
"You guys are reading 'the Chrysalids'?" I asked hoarsely.
"Yeah." They echoed each other earning a glare from the other.
I took a deep breath. "Ok. Where are your questions?"
~*~
"Guys! Guys! Stop! Please!" I yelped. "Please!"
Charlie grabbed the pillow I was covering my head with. "We're doing exactly what you told us to do, discuss the character relationships."
I looked up at him. "I don't want to know if David and Rosalind's relationship would make a disgusting porn video."
Charlie frowned. "It would though. Because they are. . ."
"STUDY BREAK!" I yelped stopping Charlie in mid sentence.
Guy chucked and tossed his book aside and smiled. "So what do you want to talk about?"
Charlie frowned. "Where were you, Banks after classes? We didn't see you at all. Not even at dinner. You better be eating."
"I am. I talked to Josie and then I went to my parent's house." I rolled my eyes. Everyone was making sure I was eating after that one time I fainted.
Guy smiled. "You're taking her to the dance right?"
I licked my lips. "No."
Charlie's eyes flickered with interest. "Did you fight?"
"No, she told me that it would be better if we didn't talk to each other though." My nails dug into the comforter on Guy's bed. "I would rather not talk about it actually."
Charlie nodded. "What about the visit home?"
My eyes met his.
Charlie's eyebrows went up. "You're picking a fight with everyone lately."
He didn't think I noticed that? Maybe Josie was wearing off on me. I sighed. I would rather her yelling at me than not talking to me at all.
Guy bit his lip. "This definitely was not your week Banks."
I leaned back on the bed. "Tell me about it."
~
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* A/N: Yay! Another chapter!! You guys are SOOO sweet! I want to write more chapters like the last one just so I can hear things like that! But I'm trying not to make Adam much sadder. I think if I ruined his life anymore he would kill himself so I'm not going to do that, even if troubled Adam is really hott!! By the way, there is a reference in here for a book called the Chrysalids. I honestly didn't like it but I used it because that's the book my class was reading/studying. David and Rosalind are characters in the book and I'm not going to sit here and explain it to you because I would rather die than do that. REVIEW!!
~Toodles!
I never liked endings. Even in fairy tales. I remember my nanny (yes! I had a nanny!), she would read me bedtime stories when I was a toddler and I would hate the endings. I would pretend to be asleep just so I wouldn't hear the ending, because endings are never a nice thing. It means something stops. I'm not sure what, but something and it scares me.
That's why my heart broke as she told me it's over. My Josie, it can't be over. It hasn't even begun. I stared down at the torn picture that sat in my lap. She was still blowing a kiss to something. I put the two halves together and smiled, remembering the thing the doctor during the Goodwill games told me.
**
"It's a sprain, no broken bones, your lucky Mr. Banks."
I stared up at the doctor. He had big white puffy eyebrows and was going bald. How did that happen? I moved my shoulder a little and frowned at the sling. "Thanks." I mumbled.
He patted my other shoulder and shook his head. "You athletes, especially hockey players; you all think you're invincible. You're lucky, if you injured it again, you may have effected you're career."
I nodded. "Coach Bombay already chewed me out for playing injured."
"And rightly so." He said loosening his tie slightly. "Some things can be fixed Mr. Banks. You're a lucky one, because give it a few weeks and it will be better than ever."
**
I smiled. There she was again, blowing me a kiss. Maybe that doctor was right about some things. Maybe all I had to do was give her time. A week. Maybe, in a weeks time she'll see she was just, if not more so miserable without me! Not that I want her to be miserable, I just want to be the one who makes her happy. To tell the truth, I just don't want to be the one who is causing her anymore tears.
I sat on the bench and decided to go through my hockey bag, which reminded me, it stank like a skunk's backside; I grimaced at the smell. I may be a hockey player, but I never did get used to that smell; maybe it's because when I was just starting hockey my mother would send my stuff out to be cleaned after every game saying that no house of hers was going to smell like my hockey stuff. My father of course would always counter; by saying she was depriving me of that manly smell. I hate to say it, but my father was right and now I have to get my stuff cleaned, which also reminded me, the school doesn't have a dry cleaner on the grounds. I would have to pack up all my stuff and go to the Laundromat downtown town and do it myself, or I could go home and get my mother to do it.
Being the lazy, rich boy I was, I opted for the second option. I wasn't too pleased with the fact that I would have to talk to my father, whom I'm positively sure would yell at me for walking away from him and then I would have to sit through that awkward silence at the dinner table because no one wants to admit their wrong, or worse, no one want to acknowledge the fact that something is wrong. No, instead they want to eat their roast in utter silence with awkward statements, with angry undertones, that usually are 'pass the salt' or 'that meat is truly tender'. Besides, I didn't want to see her in the dining hall.
~*~
I waved at Portman as he drove away. Thank God he had a driver's license or I would have been stuck taking the bus.
I sighed as I walked up the front steps to my home. The bus; Josie and I took the bus to Wisconsin. She fell asleep on my shoulder. She told me on the bus that I was the only one who truly knew her.
How I hated the fact that I was connected to the public transportation system
I unlocked the door with my key and looked around. It was fairly the same since I had last been here, which had been about two weeks. The only thing that was different was a new throw rug under my feet and the smell of cleaner. Father must've fired the old maid. The new maid used pine scented cleaner.
Pine. Trees. Wood. I closed my eyes and I could almost picture the woods Josie took me too. I could almost feel her heat as she landed on top of me. If only I took a chance and kissed her right there. No, I was still in denial that I didn't like her. And now I'm stuck here, completely miserable and Josie-less.
"Adam?"
I jumped at the sound of my name. I smiled. "Mom?"
She walked out of the den smiling. "Oh Adam! It's been too long."
I rolled my eyes as she hugged my neck. My mother always greeted me as if I were one of her country club friends she hasn't seen in a month. She doesn't actually show that she's excited; she keeps herself calm and collected. She was like the mother figure in corny TV commercials that you always muted because they are so annoying. "Yeah, I should have come home sooner." I grinned as she let go.
She blinked at me, which reminded me, I have to family talk now. My parents don't really like me using slang outside of the arena so saying 'Yeah' was probably not a good thing to do. So for now I have to delete the words yeah, yup, dunno, whatever etc. etc. etc. From now on they are yes, yes, I don't know and a big smile.
"I brought home some clothes that need washing. I haven't had the time to because of my homework." I plastered on a fake smile. Ok, that was a slight lie. I haven't had time to do laundry because I have been gallivanting around with Josie over state lines, and roller discoing and skating and sneaking her on and off buses. Oh and don't forget yelling and screaming and crying and mourning.
My mom smiled. "Oh that's ok. As long as you keep up in your studies." She patted my head and took my hockey bag minus my skates and the large backpack full of my clothes and began to walk toward the basement, where our laundry room is. My mother likes to act like Mrs. Cleaver from 'Leave it to Beaver', that's where she gets the head pat from. I think she likes to think she has the perfect family, but I'm not fooled, nobody is perfect, besides, being the youngest child, I am far from being Beaver. "Your father is in the den. He would probably love to speak with you."
I sighed as she left. That really meant is, go into the den, your father wants to yell at you a little bit, which means she knows all about me walking away from him. I slump my way to the den and quickly correct my posture as I entered. "Hi Dad."
My father looked up from his newspaper. "Son." I watched his eyes flicker. "It's nice to see you have taken time out of your studies to visit your family, even though we live minutes away."
Oh yes, I remember. My father wasn't pleased I was living on campus. He wanted to keep his ever watchful eye on me at all times. I finally convinced him that I just wanted to make sure I was connected to the team and if I lived there I could probably get more practice time in on the private rink. I reality I just wanted some freedom. I didn't want to be under his rules anymore. "Yes well, exams are coming up. I have been studying."
"Practicing hard too, I hope. Especially if you want a scholarship to a prestigious university." He added; his eyes locked on the paper.
I swallowed. "I'm in grade ten."
He nodded, barely hearing me. "I know, but scouts are out there; you should be focusing on hockey and your marks and not other . . . distractions."
My blood began to boil. "Distractions?" I asked through gritted teeth. I knew exactly he was getting at.
"Yes, distractions." I remember when my father and I used have a good relationship. I think it really began to spiral after the pee wee championship. He used to always be there for me. Now that I think about it, I think I realized that my father and I clashed was when Coach Bombay told Coach Riley I was on the wrong team. He said I would rather not play hockey than play for the Ducks. Did my dad not know me? I would rather not live; than not play hockey!
"You mean like social gatherings." I knew he wouldn't like the fact I was pretending to be oblivious.
His eyes met mine quickly. "No. I want you to go to school events. Schools like students with school spirit, which is why you are going to that annual dance in a week or so; am I correct?"
"I haven't really thought about it." I wasn't lying. I really hadn't.
"Well you should. I mean things like off campus, un-school related things." He said calmly closing the newspaper and neatly folding it in half on his lap. "Like that girl for example during the hockey game. You were focusing on her and you didn't score. . ."
"I didn't score, father," I spat angrily, "is because the other team's defense was hard and you interrupted my concentration."
His eyes widened and his lips pursed. "Adam Nathanial Banks. How dare you blame me for your own mistakes!"
I put on my game face. My father and I constantly went at it, but this was a new form of it. Usually it would be subtle remarks that would get under each other's skin, but this time it was out in the open and beginning to get loud. I wasn't going to lose this fight. I wasn't doing anything wrong. "And how dare you blame my friend for distracting me!"
The look on my father's face softened as my mother entered the room with a cheery, oblivious smile on her face. He blinked and his eyes were once on mine again. "You have plenty of time of girls later. You are fifteen; you should be focusing on more important things."
My mom smiled and put her hands on my shoulders. "Does my baby have a girlfriend?"
I almost gagged. I hated my mother's pet names for me, baby, sweetie; it made me feel like a little girl. "No mom, just a . . . friend." I swallowed. She wasn't exactly a friend anymore.
She smirked and kissed my cheek. "Friend, girlfriend, it's all the same." She looked over at my father and smiled. "We started going out when I was fifteen."
My father rolled his eyes. "Yes darling, you were, I however was seventeen and I didn't have talent like our Adam does."
My mother walked away from me and shook her head lightly. "I'm going to go check on supper. You will be staying Adam, right?"
The words, 'kill me now' crossed my mind. Yes mom." I smiled. "What are we having?"
She smiled and nodded. "Oh, a lovely roast."
I rolled my eyes. Typical.
~*~
I walked up to my dorm room and opened the door quietly. It was late, and I didn't want to disturb if Averman went to bed early, like he usually did on the nights after an early morning practice. I looked into the room and saw him with a girl making out. I jumped dropping my bags into the corner of the room and closed the door quietly. Whoa! When did Averman get a g__"
Wait better question.
When did girls start liking Averman?
I took a deep breath and walked to Charlie and Guy's dorm and knocked quietly. Charlie opened the door a crack and smiled. "Hey Banksie! Guy and I were just discussing our homework!"
I shook my head. "Translated out of your code: Hey Banksie! Guy and I have no clue what we are doing! Help me!"
Guy opened the door the rest of the way, hair running through his blond hair. "Yup. Want to help me pass English?"
"Sure. Why not seeing my dorm has been taken over!" I said walking into their room.
Charlie looked confused "Averman took your dorm over? It's not like he has a girl or something."
I sat down on Guy's bed and pushed myself against the wall. "Oh?"
"Averman has a girl?" Charlie laughed. "As in a female counterpart?"
"As in on his bed right now making out with him."
Guy smirked. "Well that's something we don't hear everyday."
I nodded. "It's not something I walk into everyday either. Anyways, what are we working on?"
Guy tossed me the book that was on the floor and I caught it in midair and looked at the title in shock.
Charlie bit his lip. "You have read it, right? Didn't I see you reading it over the summer while everyone else was you know; having fun and getting a tan, Casper?"
This was a new one. Casper. I'm not THAT pale. But I wasn't really paying attention to the book in my hands. It couldn't be.
"Earth to Adam? We need help!"
I jumped as Guy's hand broke my gaze at the title on the book.
"You guys are reading 'the Chrysalids'?" I asked hoarsely.
"Yeah." They echoed each other earning a glare from the other.
I took a deep breath. "Ok. Where are your questions?"
~*~
"Guys! Guys! Stop! Please!" I yelped. "Please!"
Charlie grabbed the pillow I was covering my head with. "We're doing exactly what you told us to do, discuss the character relationships."
I looked up at him. "I don't want to know if David and Rosalind's relationship would make a disgusting porn video."
Charlie frowned. "It would though. Because they are. . ."
"STUDY BREAK!" I yelped stopping Charlie in mid sentence.
Guy chucked and tossed his book aside and smiled. "So what do you want to talk about?"
Charlie frowned. "Where were you, Banks after classes? We didn't see you at all. Not even at dinner. You better be eating."
"I am. I talked to Josie and then I went to my parent's house." I rolled my eyes. Everyone was making sure I was eating after that one time I fainted.
Guy smiled. "You're taking her to the dance right?"
I licked my lips. "No."
Charlie's eyes flickered with interest. "Did you fight?"
"No, she told me that it would be better if we didn't talk to each other though." My nails dug into the comforter on Guy's bed. "I would rather not talk about it actually."
Charlie nodded. "What about the visit home?"
My eyes met his.
Charlie's eyebrows went up. "You're picking a fight with everyone lately."
He didn't think I noticed that? Maybe Josie was wearing off on me. I sighed. I would rather her yelling at me than not talking to me at all.
Guy bit his lip. "This definitely was not your week Banks."
I leaned back on the bed. "Tell me about it."
~
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* A/N: Yay! Another chapter!! You guys are SOOO sweet! I want to write more chapters like the last one just so I can hear things like that! But I'm trying not to make Adam much sadder. I think if I ruined his life anymore he would kill himself so I'm not going to do that, even if troubled Adam is really hott!! By the way, there is a reference in here for a book called the Chrysalids. I honestly didn't like it but I used it because that's the book my class was reading/studying. David and Rosalind are characters in the book and I'm not going to sit here and explain it to you because I would rather die than do that. REVIEW!!
~Toodles!