Disclaimer: Tom Riddle doesn't belong to me.
A/N: For this chapter, I am switching to Clarissa's point of view.
FEELINGS YOU CAN'T DENY
Chapter Seventeen: She Said, He Said
I knew the moment I met the one, I would fall instantly in love with him. That's the way it was with Rodney. It started with a bang and then everything turned upside-down and was all fuzzy. Before I knew what was happening, I looked up into those wonderful grey-green eyes. He was a mountain of a man with strong hands that lifted me from the ground with ease. I knew that very moment that my life would be changed forever. Every second I spent with him confirmed my strong feelings for him.
And at Hogsmeade, when he spoke of the future, I could see it clearly. He and I had three lovely kids. They had his curly hair, and his eyes, and my strange sense of humor. Every day, I'd care for them, while Rodney worked at the ministry defending those who couldn't defend themselves. He'd come home tired. I would give him dinner and after the kids were in bed, he and I would stay up. While he told me about his tough day, I could massage his feet by the light of our fireplace. All this and more went through my head that minute. Then he took my hand, and I knew he saw our future exactly how I did.
I was sure of it all. I was positive. I would have staked my life on it. That's why it was sure an utter shock when I entered that field and saw Rodney and that blonde Slytherin Chaser dancing in the rain. She wasn't so short as I was. They fit so perfectly together, staring into each other's eyes as they gracefully swayed around the large field. It was beautiful to watch, but was like being stabbed with a dagger. How could I have been so misled? I KNEW that he was the one. I KNEW he loved me too. I KNEW it. I did. It wasn't something I had guessed. I KNEW it. It was fact. What else is there to do when your world has ended but cry?
Lina tried to help me. You have to give that to her. She tried. But Lina just couldn't have helped. No one could have helped me. It didn't make sense why Rodney would do that to me. He loved me. How could he lie about not being able to dance, then lie about having practice to dance with that blonde Chaser? It didn't make sense. It was like saying that all of a sudden E didn't equal MC squared or China is now North of England. It was a lie. I was living in a contradiction. What can you do when you're living in a contradiction?
As I sat on the main staircase, I thought about all this. And then when Rodney came running up, yelling my name, I didn't run away. This was for one simple reason. I was living in a contradiction. The only way I could sort this all out was for Rodney to explain it to me. I was willing to listen.
"Clarissa," Rodney said, standing above me, "Tom said that you saw me dancing with Helga yesterday. He said you were upset."
I glanced up at him. I guess he wanted me to respond to that, so I did.
"I had right to be," I told him.
"I know," Rodney said, sitting down next to me. "You totally had right hate me. I'll let you smack me right now if you want to."
I smiled and shook my head.
"I must say, I expected you to be madder," Rodney admitted.
"I wasn't mad," I told him, looking at my feet. "I was hurt."
"I'm sorry," Rodney whispered. "It wasn't what you thought, honestly."
"I know it's not what I thought," I assured him, then looked at him. "What was it?"
Rodney stood up and walked in front of me. He thought for a moment, then knelt in front of me. Even kneeling and me sitting on the stairs, I had to look up to him. Rodney took my hands in his.
"Clar, it was a surprise," he said. "That's why I lied. It was a surprise."
His green-grey eyes shined down on me. He was excited. What was it? Tell me!
"You know at Hogsmeade," Rodney began, "how you said you loved to dance and I said I didn't know how?"
I nodded.
"I knew I could never please you with my two left feet," Rodney explained. "So I asked Helga to teach me how to dance. So then I could ask you to the Valentines dance, and surprise you with the fact that I could dance after all."
"Really?" I asked, higher pitched than I had meant to.
"Will you go to the Valentines dance with me?" Rodney requested, almost pleading.
"Of course," I told him, throwing my arms around him in a hug.
Rodney pulled me with him as he stood up. I must have been three feet off the ground, but I kept hanging on to my man.
"Oh, no!" I shouted suddenly, dropping to the ground.
"What is it?" Rodney asked in concern.
"Lina," I began. "She's still mad at Tom. We have to fix everything. They're meant to be like we are."
Rodney smiled down on me. I blushed, but it was OK. It's good for you to blush now and then. I took Rodney's hand, and we ran off to the library, which had to be Lina's favorite place to be. It was a lot like her, quiet and contained. Lina needed to let stuff out more often. Anyway, Lina sat in the corner, as always, reading some text book and writing a report.
"Lina!" I called to her as we hurried over.
I'm sure Lina would've hushed me if she hadn't been so shocked to see me with Rodney. She stared at him, then at me. She was angry, I could tell, though she wasn't showing it.
"Clarissa, what are you doing?" Lina asked, looking at Rodney.
"It's all OK," I insisted. "You can get back with Tom. Rodney and I have worked everything out."
"But, Clar," Lina blurted, then went on more guarded, "what about yesterday?"
"It was all a mistake," I informed. "Didn't I tell you it didn't really happen. It turns out that Rodney was just learning to dance from Helga so he could take me to the Valentines dance."
Lina sat back in her chair as if she was letting it sink in.
"Now you can get back with Tom," I told her. "Rodney will go find him."
Before Rodney started to leave, Lina said, "No, don't bother."
"What?" I exclaimed. "But it was a mistake. It's all OK now."
Lina shook her head and started reading again.
"Lina," I began again desperately, "don't you get it? Rodney and I are back together. It's all OK. What's wrong with you?"
"Congratulations, I hope you have fun at the dance," she muttered.
"But, Li-"
Rodney took my arm to stop me. He put a finger to his lips, then led me out of the library.
"I don't get it!" I shouted once we were down the hall a ways. "Why doesn't she get back together with Tom?"
"I think maybe she's a little wary," Rodney told me.
"What's being tired have to do with it?" I demanded.
"Not weary, wary," Rodney laughed. "She's cautious."
I just shook my head. What on earth was he talking about? Cautious of what?
"Lina's been hurt," Rodney told me.
"Duh, who hasn't?" I exclaimed. "All of us have been hurt by this thing."
"I guess Lina just doesn't heal as fast as some," Rodney shrugged.
"What about Tom?" I asked. "How's he dealing with all this?"
Rodney shrugged again. "We could ask him. I'm sure he's playing Wizard's chess in the Great Hall."
"Let's go," I insisted, grabbing Rodney's hand and yanking him off.
We came upon Tom where Rodney said he'd be. He was playing against a red-headed Slytherin.
"Tom, you need to talk to Lina," I said instantly.
"She doesn't want me anywhere near her," Tom said calmly as he stared at the chess board. "Hey, Rod. How's it going?"
"Can't complain," Rodney replied. "I have my girlfriend back which is keeping me on my toes."
"I can imagine," Tom smiled wryly without looking up.
"Who's winning?" Rodney asked.
"I am," the red-head announced, raising his eyebrows at me.
"Not for long," Tom muttered. "Knight to B3."
"Good move," Rodney complimented.
I couldn't stand this anymore.
"Shut up!" I shouted. "Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!"
"Got a fiery one, don't you?" the red-head laughed.
"What is wrong with you people?" I exclaimed. "Tom, get your bloody behind up and talk to Lina."
"I told you, she doesn't want me near her," Tom insisted, looking at me for the first time.
"That's when she thought you were helping Rodney cheat on me," I explained. "You have to talk to her. She's miserable with out you."
Tom lowered his eyes.
"Rodney, tell him what you said," I ordered.
"About her being cautious?" Rodney asked. "I think she needs time."
"No. No, she doesn't," I blurted. "Lina needs Tom. She lives for him, and she needs to know that he lives for her."
"How am I supposed to show her that she means everything to me, if she doesn't want me near her?" Tom queried.
"You guys are idiots!" I shouted. I felt like screaming and pulling my own hair out. "Show her anyway."
All three guys stared at me, then looked at each other.
A/N: What do you think of Clarissa's point of view? I'm trying to decided whether the last chapter should be Clarissa again or go back to Lina. What do you think?
A/N: For this chapter, I am switching to Clarissa's point of view.
FEELINGS YOU CAN'T DENY
Chapter Seventeen: She Said, He Said
I knew the moment I met the one, I would fall instantly in love with him. That's the way it was with Rodney. It started with a bang and then everything turned upside-down and was all fuzzy. Before I knew what was happening, I looked up into those wonderful grey-green eyes. He was a mountain of a man with strong hands that lifted me from the ground with ease. I knew that very moment that my life would be changed forever. Every second I spent with him confirmed my strong feelings for him.
And at Hogsmeade, when he spoke of the future, I could see it clearly. He and I had three lovely kids. They had his curly hair, and his eyes, and my strange sense of humor. Every day, I'd care for them, while Rodney worked at the ministry defending those who couldn't defend themselves. He'd come home tired. I would give him dinner and after the kids were in bed, he and I would stay up. While he told me about his tough day, I could massage his feet by the light of our fireplace. All this and more went through my head that minute. Then he took my hand, and I knew he saw our future exactly how I did.
I was sure of it all. I was positive. I would have staked my life on it. That's why it was sure an utter shock when I entered that field and saw Rodney and that blonde Slytherin Chaser dancing in the rain. She wasn't so short as I was. They fit so perfectly together, staring into each other's eyes as they gracefully swayed around the large field. It was beautiful to watch, but was like being stabbed with a dagger. How could I have been so misled? I KNEW that he was the one. I KNEW he loved me too. I KNEW it. I did. It wasn't something I had guessed. I KNEW it. It was fact. What else is there to do when your world has ended but cry?
Lina tried to help me. You have to give that to her. She tried. But Lina just couldn't have helped. No one could have helped me. It didn't make sense why Rodney would do that to me. He loved me. How could he lie about not being able to dance, then lie about having practice to dance with that blonde Chaser? It didn't make sense. It was like saying that all of a sudden E didn't equal MC squared or China is now North of England. It was a lie. I was living in a contradiction. What can you do when you're living in a contradiction?
As I sat on the main staircase, I thought about all this. And then when Rodney came running up, yelling my name, I didn't run away. This was for one simple reason. I was living in a contradiction. The only way I could sort this all out was for Rodney to explain it to me. I was willing to listen.
"Clarissa," Rodney said, standing above me, "Tom said that you saw me dancing with Helga yesterday. He said you were upset."
I glanced up at him. I guess he wanted me to respond to that, so I did.
"I had right to be," I told him.
"I know," Rodney said, sitting down next to me. "You totally had right hate me. I'll let you smack me right now if you want to."
I smiled and shook my head.
"I must say, I expected you to be madder," Rodney admitted.
"I wasn't mad," I told him, looking at my feet. "I was hurt."
"I'm sorry," Rodney whispered. "It wasn't what you thought, honestly."
"I know it's not what I thought," I assured him, then looked at him. "What was it?"
Rodney stood up and walked in front of me. He thought for a moment, then knelt in front of me. Even kneeling and me sitting on the stairs, I had to look up to him. Rodney took my hands in his.
"Clar, it was a surprise," he said. "That's why I lied. It was a surprise."
His green-grey eyes shined down on me. He was excited. What was it? Tell me!
"You know at Hogsmeade," Rodney began, "how you said you loved to dance and I said I didn't know how?"
I nodded.
"I knew I could never please you with my two left feet," Rodney explained. "So I asked Helga to teach me how to dance. So then I could ask you to the Valentines dance, and surprise you with the fact that I could dance after all."
"Really?" I asked, higher pitched than I had meant to.
"Will you go to the Valentines dance with me?" Rodney requested, almost pleading.
"Of course," I told him, throwing my arms around him in a hug.
Rodney pulled me with him as he stood up. I must have been three feet off the ground, but I kept hanging on to my man.
"Oh, no!" I shouted suddenly, dropping to the ground.
"What is it?" Rodney asked in concern.
"Lina," I began. "She's still mad at Tom. We have to fix everything. They're meant to be like we are."
Rodney smiled down on me. I blushed, but it was OK. It's good for you to blush now and then. I took Rodney's hand, and we ran off to the library, which had to be Lina's favorite place to be. It was a lot like her, quiet and contained. Lina needed to let stuff out more often. Anyway, Lina sat in the corner, as always, reading some text book and writing a report.
"Lina!" I called to her as we hurried over.
I'm sure Lina would've hushed me if she hadn't been so shocked to see me with Rodney. She stared at him, then at me. She was angry, I could tell, though she wasn't showing it.
"Clarissa, what are you doing?" Lina asked, looking at Rodney.
"It's all OK," I insisted. "You can get back with Tom. Rodney and I have worked everything out."
"But, Clar," Lina blurted, then went on more guarded, "what about yesterday?"
"It was all a mistake," I informed. "Didn't I tell you it didn't really happen. It turns out that Rodney was just learning to dance from Helga so he could take me to the Valentines dance."
Lina sat back in her chair as if she was letting it sink in.
"Now you can get back with Tom," I told her. "Rodney will go find him."
Before Rodney started to leave, Lina said, "No, don't bother."
"What?" I exclaimed. "But it was a mistake. It's all OK now."
Lina shook her head and started reading again.
"Lina," I began again desperately, "don't you get it? Rodney and I are back together. It's all OK. What's wrong with you?"
"Congratulations, I hope you have fun at the dance," she muttered.
"But, Li-"
Rodney took my arm to stop me. He put a finger to his lips, then led me out of the library.
"I don't get it!" I shouted once we were down the hall a ways. "Why doesn't she get back together with Tom?"
"I think maybe she's a little wary," Rodney told me.
"What's being tired have to do with it?" I demanded.
"Not weary, wary," Rodney laughed. "She's cautious."
I just shook my head. What on earth was he talking about? Cautious of what?
"Lina's been hurt," Rodney told me.
"Duh, who hasn't?" I exclaimed. "All of us have been hurt by this thing."
"I guess Lina just doesn't heal as fast as some," Rodney shrugged.
"What about Tom?" I asked. "How's he dealing with all this?"
Rodney shrugged again. "We could ask him. I'm sure he's playing Wizard's chess in the Great Hall."
"Let's go," I insisted, grabbing Rodney's hand and yanking him off.
We came upon Tom where Rodney said he'd be. He was playing against a red-headed Slytherin.
"Tom, you need to talk to Lina," I said instantly.
"She doesn't want me anywhere near her," Tom said calmly as he stared at the chess board. "Hey, Rod. How's it going?"
"Can't complain," Rodney replied. "I have my girlfriend back which is keeping me on my toes."
"I can imagine," Tom smiled wryly without looking up.
"Who's winning?" Rodney asked.
"I am," the red-head announced, raising his eyebrows at me.
"Not for long," Tom muttered. "Knight to B3."
"Good move," Rodney complimented.
I couldn't stand this anymore.
"Shut up!" I shouted. "Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!"
"Got a fiery one, don't you?" the red-head laughed.
"What is wrong with you people?" I exclaimed. "Tom, get your bloody behind up and talk to Lina."
"I told you, she doesn't want me near her," Tom insisted, looking at me for the first time.
"That's when she thought you were helping Rodney cheat on me," I explained. "You have to talk to her. She's miserable with out you."
Tom lowered his eyes.
"Rodney, tell him what you said," I ordered.
"About her being cautious?" Rodney asked. "I think she needs time."
"No. No, she doesn't," I blurted. "Lina needs Tom. She lives for him, and she needs to know that he lives for her."
"How am I supposed to show her that she means everything to me, if she doesn't want me near her?" Tom queried.
"You guys are idiots!" I shouted. I felt like screaming and pulling my own hair out. "Show her anyway."
All three guys stared at me, then looked at each other.
A/N: What do you think of Clarissa's point of view? I'm trying to decided whether the last chapter should be Clarissa again or go back to Lina. What do you think?