Lord Of The Rings - The Way It Was Never Meant To Be Written
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the new characters that appear in this chapter. They obviously belong to their creators: JRR Tolkien, J K Rowling & George Lucas (Creator of Star Wars)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------
Chapter 3 - Elven Confessions
"Whateth? Oh courseth I'm an elfeth"
"An 'elfeth'? Not an elf?" Inquired Froggo
"Oh shut upeth!" Said Duplolad angrily "You're justeth jealouseth because all the girleth fancy me(eth?) and not youeth!"
"Fat, ugly Hobbit!" Chipped in Pollen.
"Then why did you say, and I quote: 'Alas alack'. If you didn't mean that weren't an elf, what did you mean?" Asked Froggo in frustration throwing a dirty look at Pollen.
"For goodnesseth saketh! About 4000 birdeths just kickedeth the bucketeth! I was expressingeth my sadnesseth at iteth!"
"Oh" Said Froggo
"Fascinating as this conversation might be, it still doesn't explain why this lot" Arrowthorn pointed at the 3 huddled figures on the ground "...are here" "They haven'teth goteth a mapeth"
"I hardly think that is an adequate reason for them being here"
"Well, they goteth losteth, so here they areth"
"But maybe they are spies of Salmon! I mean who knows what they are talking about right now..."
*Everyone goes silent to drop eaves on their conversation*
"Master is good to Treacle! Treacle will follow Master!"
"NO! He is a liar. A nasty fat liar! I'm the only friend you've got! He will betray you!"
"Not listening! Not listening! Treacle is deaf, deaf, deaf you hear me? Deaf! Master is a good, kind..."
"...nasty, fat, traitorous..."
"...lovely, sweet, gentle..."
"...murderous, evil, obese Hobbit! We must lead him to her..!"
"No! Pollen must not speak ill of his Master! Bad demented Hobbit! Very bad demented Hobbit!"
"Yes, we must learn from our Masters! Feel the force inside you! Slay the dark side within yourself, or it will overpower you!"
"If you kill me now, now, I will become more powerful than you can ever imagine!" Shouted Pollen.
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever little bone bag, and I'm the King of Gondor" Said Arrowthorn sarcastically
"Well actually..." said Rudolf the Red (Planet) "I've been meaning to talk to you about that..."
"What?" Asked Arrowthorn
Just then - by complete coincidence (yeah right...), Harry Potter bursts back in...
"Dinky?"
"Yes, Harry Potter sir?" Asked Dinky leaping 5 foot into the air with excitement. "What is it Harry Potter Sir? Can Dinky lick Harry Potter Sir's shoes, Sir? Dinky has a new pair of socks Harry Potter, Sir! Would Harry Potter like a cup of tea, Sir? Even though Dinky is in absolutely no position to get one, Sir! Dinky would do anything for Harry Potter, Sir! Dinky would even stop speaking in third person, Sir, and stop addressing Harry Potter sir using his last name, Harry Potter, Sir!.. Or he would at least try, Sir!"
"Dinky?"
"Yes Harry Potter, Sir?!"
"Shut up."
*Mumbles through closed mouth*
"Yes Harry Potter, Sir" Then immediately starts ironing his head with a handy steam iron that Pollen produces from nowhere. Pollen then starts laughing hysterically at Dinky's pain and yet still Froggo doesn't realize he's a suicidal manic hell bent on destruction. Ah well, plenty more opportunities for that...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------
Next chapter: Sam progresses to a new level of eating, Pollen's comments start to take an effect on Froggo, Duplolad gets contact lenses...
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the new characters that appear in this chapter. They obviously belong to their creators: JRR Tolkien, J K Rowling & George Lucas (Creator of Star Wars)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------
Chapter 3 - Elven Confessions
"Whateth? Oh courseth I'm an elfeth"
"An 'elfeth'? Not an elf?" Inquired Froggo
"Oh shut upeth!" Said Duplolad angrily "You're justeth jealouseth because all the girleth fancy me(eth?) and not youeth!"
"Fat, ugly Hobbit!" Chipped in Pollen.
"Then why did you say, and I quote: 'Alas alack'. If you didn't mean that weren't an elf, what did you mean?" Asked Froggo in frustration throwing a dirty look at Pollen.
"For goodnesseth saketh! About 4000 birdeths just kickedeth the bucketeth! I was expressingeth my sadnesseth at iteth!"
"Oh" Said Froggo
"Fascinating as this conversation might be, it still doesn't explain why this lot" Arrowthorn pointed at the 3 huddled figures on the ground "...are here" "They haven'teth goteth a mapeth"
"I hardly think that is an adequate reason for them being here"
"Well, they goteth losteth, so here they areth"
"But maybe they are spies of Salmon! I mean who knows what they are talking about right now..."
*Everyone goes silent to drop eaves on their conversation*
"Master is good to Treacle! Treacle will follow Master!"
"NO! He is a liar. A nasty fat liar! I'm the only friend you've got! He will betray you!"
"Not listening! Not listening! Treacle is deaf, deaf, deaf you hear me? Deaf! Master is a good, kind..."
"...nasty, fat, traitorous..."
"...lovely, sweet, gentle..."
"...murderous, evil, obese Hobbit! We must lead him to her..!"
"No! Pollen must not speak ill of his Master! Bad demented Hobbit! Very bad demented Hobbit!"
"Yes, we must learn from our Masters! Feel the force inside you! Slay the dark side within yourself, or it will overpower you!"
"If you kill me now, now, I will become more powerful than you can ever imagine!" Shouted Pollen.
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever little bone bag, and I'm the King of Gondor" Said Arrowthorn sarcastically
"Well actually..." said Rudolf the Red (Planet) "I've been meaning to talk to you about that..."
"What?" Asked Arrowthorn
Just then - by complete coincidence (yeah right...), Harry Potter bursts back in...
"Dinky?"
"Yes, Harry Potter sir?" Asked Dinky leaping 5 foot into the air with excitement. "What is it Harry Potter Sir? Can Dinky lick Harry Potter Sir's shoes, Sir? Dinky has a new pair of socks Harry Potter, Sir! Would Harry Potter like a cup of tea, Sir? Even though Dinky is in absolutely no position to get one, Sir! Dinky would do anything for Harry Potter, Sir! Dinky would even stop speaking in third person, Sir, and stop addressing Harry Potter sir using his last name, Harry Potter, Sir!.. Or he would at least try, Sir!"
"Dinky?"
"Yes Harry Potter, Sir?!"
"Shut up."
*Mumbles through closed mouth*
"Yes Harry Potter, Sir" Then immediately starts ironing his head with a handy steam iron that Pollen produces from nowhere. Pollen then starts laughing hysterically at Dinky's pain and yet still Froggo doesn't realize he's a suicidal manic hell bent on destruction. Ah well, plenty more opportunities for that...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------
Next chapter: Sam progresses to a new level of eating, Pollen's comments start to take an effect on Froggo, Duplolad gets contact lenses...