Lord Of The Rings - The Way It Was Never Meant To Be Written
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the new characters that appear in this chapter. They obviously belong to their creators: JRR Tolkien, J K Rowling & George Lucas (Creator of Star Wars)
"Damn, does this cloak make me look fat?"
"Huh?" Asked Damn through a mouthful of chocolate cake. "What coke? I didn't see any coke, or cake and those biscuits just disappeared all by themselves and it was Pollen I swear!"
"Where's my mirror?!" Yelled Duplolad "I'm not going anywhere without it. Come on, hand it over. I know you've got it."
"What makes you think that we would take your mirror?" Asked Arrowthorn.
"Because you're jealous of me! How am I supposed to fight orcs when I can't see how masculine yet sensitive and dashing I look?!"
"Well you'll just have to get over it Duplolad. We must leave immediately. Everyday Salmon's army grows stronger..."
"Are they fish?" Asked Damn excitedly
*Everyone turns to look at him*
"What?! I'm hungry!" "Damnfool, can't you stop thinking about food for a few minutes?"
Damn looked hurt.
"Sorry, its just I like fish..." He trailed off as he realized no one cared anyway. They were all far too busy packing supplies for the journey.
Arrowthorn was talking to Rudolf solemnly; Duplolad was still searching in vain for his mirror, he was presently up a tree asking the birds if they had seen it ('It's shiny and when you look into it you see this gorgeous elf...'). A few of the birds who had dared to venture back after Bush- Stubble's snoring attack were currently falling off their branches with boredom.
Dinky was gazing up lovingly at Harry who was trying to dislodge him from his leg (NB - Home Elf Slaves are very determined. Once they decide on something, they stick to it. Dinky had decided he wasn't letting 'Harry Potter Sir' out of his sight again, which explains why he was hanging on to Harry's leg.)
The wise and most ancient master of Yoga was sitting on the floor with his ankles behind his head humming something that sounded distinctly like '10 Black Deathstars' and Pollen was whispering something to Froggo and showing him something while seeking furtive looks around to see if anyone was watching. When he spied Damn he stuck his tongue out and went back to whispering.
Damnfool sighed and went off again to raid the rations bags.
* * *
"Damnfool, can't you stop thinking about food for a few minutes?"
Froggo smiled. Damn was always thinking about food of some sort.
"Master is smiling" Came a small lisping voice "We have something master will like, yes we do. Look what Treacle has found master!"
Froggo frowned. "Treacle are you alright?"
"Treacle is fine master. Look master!" Said Treacle again holding out small object that glinted in the sunlight. "Doesn't master look fat master. We thinks he does. Look master, see how fat you look!" Pollen said mockingly, shoving the mirror towards Froggo while glancing cautiously over his shoulder. He noticed Damnfool looking at him and stuck his tongue out.
"That's Duplolad's mirror" Gasped Froggo "Where did you find it?"
Pollen looked at Froggo trying to determine exactly how stupid he was, then said "We finds it on the floor master..."
"Duplolad!" Yelled Froggo "Treacle's found your mirror!"
Duplolad stuck his head out of the tree. "MY MIRROR!" He exclaimed jumped out of the tree.
Jumping out of a tree is easy for an elf. They are used to doing such things. What they are not used to however is the tree moving violently upwards just before they jump. The reason the tree moved violently upwards was because it wasn't a tree at all, it was Bush-Stubble having a nap.
Duplolad came crashing down out of the tree and plummeted Almost-Middle- Earthwards at an alarming rate. Oh dear...
* * * * * * *
Is just me or does Duplolad always steal the cliffhangers? Hmm... Anyway, hope you enjoyed the chapter. Sorry it's taking so long to write. Thanks for the reviews. I really appreciate them. :-)
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the new characters that appear in this chapter. They obviously belong to their creators: JRR Tolkien, J K Rowling & George Lucas (Creator of Star Wars)
"Damn, does this cloak make me look fat?"
"Huh?" Asked Damn through a mouthful of chocolate cake. "What coke? I didn't see any coke, or cake and those biscuits just disappeared all by themselves and it was Pollen I swear!"
"Where's my mirror?!" Yelled Duplolad "I'm not going anywhere without it. Come on, hand it over. I know you've got it."
"What makes you think that we would take your mirror?" Asked Arrowthorn.
"Because you're jealous of me! How am I supposed to fight orcs when I can't see how masculine yet sensitive and dashing I look?!"
"Well you'll just have to get over it Duplolad. We must leave immediately. Everyday Salmon's army grows stronger..."
"Are they fish?" Asked Damn excitedly
*Everyone turns to look at him*
"What?! I'm hungry!" "Damnfool, can't you stop thinking about food for a few minutes?"
Damn looked hurt.
"Sorry, its just I like fish..." He trailed off as he realized no one cared anyway. They were all far too busy packing supplies for the journey.
Arrowthorn was talking to Rudolf solemnly; Duplolad was still searching in vain for his mirror, he was presently up a tree asking the birds if they had seen it ('It's shiny and when you look into it you see this gorgeous elf...'). A few of the birds who had dared to venture back after Bush- Stubble's snoring attack were currently falling off their branches with boredom.
Dinky was gazing up lovingly at Harry who was trying to dislodge him from his leg (NB - Home Elf Slaves are very determined. Once they decide on something, they stick to it. Dinky had decided he wasn't letting 'Harry Potter Sir' out of his sight again, which explains why he was hanging on to Harry's leg.)
The wise and most ancient master of Yoga was sitting on the floor with his ankles behind his head humming something that sounded distinctly like '10 Black Deathstars' and Pollen was whispering something to Froggo and showing him something while seeking furtive looks around to see if anyone was watching. When he spied Damn he stuck his tongue out and went back to whispering.
Damnfool sighed and went off again to raid the rations bags.
* * *
"Damnfool, can't you stop thinking about food for a few minutes?"
Froggo smiled. Damn was always thinking about food of some sort.
"Master is smiling" Came a small lisping voice "We have something master will like, yes we do. Look what Treacle has found master!"
Froggo frowned. "Treacle are you alright?"
"Treacle is fine master. Look master!" Said Treacle again holding out small object that glinted in the sunlight. "Doesn't master look fat master. We thinks he does. Look master, see how fat you look!" Pollen said mockingly, shoving the mirror towards Froggo while glancing cautiously over his shoulder. He noticed Damnfool looking at him and stuck his tongue out.
"That's Duplolad's mirror" Gasped Froggo "Where did you find it?"
Pollen looked at Froggo trying to determine exactly how stupid he was, then said "We finds it on the floor master..."
"Duplolad!" Yelled Froggo "Treacle's found your mirror!"
Duplolad stuck his head out of the tree. "MY MIRROR!" He exclaimed jumped out of the tree.
Jumping out of a tree is easy for an elf. They are used to doing such things. What they are not used to however is the tree moving violently upwards just before they jump. The reason the tree moved violently upwards was because it wasn't a tree at all, it was Bush-Stubble having a nap.
Duplolad came crashing down out of the tree and plummeted Almost-Middle- Earthwards at an alarming rate. Oh dear...
* * * * * * *
Is just me or does Duplolad always steal the cliffhangers? Hmm... Anyway, hope you enjoyed the chapter. Sorry it's taking so long to write. Thanks for the reviews. I really appreciate them. :-)