A/N: I claim to have been under the influence of really good drugs-with a
doctor's note, mind you-while undergoing the events you are about to see in
this chapter. Names have been changed to protect the innocent. At least, I
think I changed your name. If not, well, I don't remember much about what
happened here, so you oughta be ok anyway. Not too squicky this time, as
least I don't think so. Of course, I don't remember much. . .see above.
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Chapter 8 You Oughta Be In Pictures
"Eggz Rae?" repeats the Prance. He scoots a bit closer to my hip, assuming a more protective bearing. "Due u waenna goe tu Eggz Rae, al?" he asks with a worried expression.
"I NEED to go to X-ray, Legolas," I tell him. "It doesn't really matter whether I want to go or not."
"Hop down, sweetie," the woman in the teddy bear scrubs says, patting Legolas on the thigh. Her nametag reads "Robin".
"Weel, whut if I doen't waent tu?" says the Prance, deciding in his protectiveness that being contrary might be the best defense for this current threat. He sits tight up against me, his bottom mashing against my right hip.
"For cryin' out loud, Legolas, get outta the way!" snaps Yes Dear, finally putting down the magazine and getting up from the chair. One look at the Prance's distressed face is all it takes to soften him. "Look, buddy, they're not gonna hurt her. If you want, you and I can follow them down there, and you can stay with al until they take her back to do it."
Legolas cocks his head and considers this, and then he finally relents and climbs down from his perch on the stretcher. I can actually feel the blood rush back into the vacated space of skin on my hip. Legolas moves to stand at the ready beside Yes Dear, arms at his sides and his feet spread apart. It is the same guarding stance he used in Meduseld, the Golden Hall of King Theoden, when Theoden and Aragorn had their discussion about the course of action that should be taken against the approaching darkness of Saruman's army while Gimli consumed his fill of meat and ale.
Robin steps over toward me. Legolas suddenly springs back into action, leaping between her and the stretcher. Yes Dear tries to catch him by the arm, but with the handful of magazines to juggle, he misses. "NO!" I hear him command.
"It'z okae, I goet it," says the Prance. Ever helpful, he reaches down past Robin to grasp the lowered bedrail and bring it up, latching it firmly in place. "I almost furgoet," he says, blushing.
Robin's a bit startled at his sudden movement, being still slightly unsure of him because of the defensive posturing he was putting on before. "Uhm. . . well. . . ahhh. . . .Here we go then," she stutters.
She rolls the stretcher out of the curtained cubicle and turns right, moving down through the ER to a big wooden door. The Prance and Yes Dear follow a short distance behind. Robin turns back toward them, saying, "Would one of you mind going ahead of us and opening the door there?"
"ME!" shouts the Prance, hopping past Yes Dear and the stretcher and into the lead. As he bolts to the door and reaches to push it open, Yes Dear slaps the big silver disc way back further on the wall by the light switch, activating the automatic door opener. Legolas doesn't see this though, and when the door magically swings outward just as he reaches it without touching, he stops dead in his tracks, looking down at his feet. He knows about the door opener at the grocery store, the one with the black floor mat that activates when you step on it, and the one at Wal-Mart with the motion sensor with the little red light overhead that sees you approaching and slides the doors open to let you in. His quick elven senses had not detected either of these assistive devices, and his brain had registered for him to push the door open by the way the hinges were aligned. He's totally unprepared for wizard magic.
Robin, not anticipating that he will stop, runs smack into him with the stretcher. "Oh! Sorry, sweetie!" she exclaims. "Are you ok?"
Legolas, now standing dead center in the doorway, is looking for the mechanism by which this latest devilry has been accomplished. He nods haphazardly to no one in particular, muttering, "Ueh hueh. . . ." Unable to satisfy his curiosity, he runs his hands over the framing, searching for whatever it is that made the door open.
"What's he doing?" I hear Robin whisper to Yes Dear where they are standing by my head.
"Looking for the door opener. Watch this," Yes Dear answers her.
As the Prance's investigating hand reaches the hydraulic door closer at the top corner, Yes Dear gently uses his elbow to tap the silver disc for the automatic door again, causing it to close. Legolas jumps back, surveying what he thinks is the explanation for his problem. When the door is fully closed, with us still inside the ER, Legolas waves his hand in front of the hydraulic closer again, and Yes Dear dutifully presses the silver disc. This goes on for a few openings and closings until my better half decides that his protégé has mastered the fine art of waving his hand in the air.
Now the stakes change.
The door is currently closed with us still on the inside. The Prance looks back at Robin, and with a sweet smile that would melt butter, says, "Raedie?"
"Yes," says Robin.
The Prance smiles a little bigger and turns back to the door. He raises and waves his right hand.
Robin keeps on smiling.
Yes Dear stands completely still.
Nothing else happens.
Nothing.
Frowning, Legolas tries using his left hand. Nothing happens. He waves it around in a bigger circle. Still nothing.
Now the Prance is scowling. When he turns back to Robin, the scowl magically disappears and is instantly replaced by a look of genuine innocence. He shrugs his shoulders, smiles sweetly, and turns to the door again. This time when he goes to raise his hand, he rubs his palms together first. As his right hand begins to wave, Yes Dear pushes the silver button and the door opens up once again by some sort of secret sorcery.
Legolas doesn't waste a second. He grabs the foot of the stretcher and hauls me through the doorway top speed with one mighty tug. "Coem oen!!" he calls to Robin and Yes Dear who are still standing in the ER. "Huerrie!!"
We take another right turn, and a few moments later reach the doors of the X-ray department. Yes Dear gives the Prance a break this time and pushes the automatic door button before Legolas can pause to contemplate any further gesticulations. Legolas hauls his end of the stretcher quickly through the doorway, making certain this time not to get caught outside the doors.
Robin parks me in the hallway while she goes to see if the room is ready. When she comes back with the ok, I'm rolled into a darkened room with a hard table in the center that has a huge machine hovering over it.
Yes Dear, having done this plenty of times before, follows me right on in, but Legolas stops just inside the door, silhouetted by the bright light of the hallway. In my inebriated state, he looks like a deity of some kind, glowing with the illumination of the backlight that casts fiery reflections of gold off of his long hair. He has assumed the sentinel stance again, not moving from the center of the doorway.
"Excuse me," says a voice from the hall. When he doesn't move, the speaker clears her throat and tries again. "I said EXCUSE ME!"
The Prance doesn't budge an inch, remaining in place with feet planted shoulder-width apart, arms folded across his chest, watchful eyes turned forward on his charge. The only movements he makes are the cocking of his blond head a half-inch to the right, the lifting of the Thranduil eyebrow on the left, and the undulations of his lips as he inquires over his shoulder, "An whoe ar u?"
"I'm the radiology technician. Now get outta my doorway," says the petite little middle-aged woman as she elbows him aside and enters the room. Picking up a small stepstool, she approaches me and places it on the floor beside the stretcher before reaching to lower the side railing.
"Climb on down, honey," she says to me, "and come get up on this table here."
As I sit up and push the blanket off my legs, she makes a tsk-tsk sound and says, "Honey, why've you still got your street clothes on? You're gonna need a gown."
She elbows her way out past the Prance again, exchanging looks - his 'The Thranduilion Special' and hers 'The Look of Doom'. Since Yes Dear knows they're both going to get tossed out if the doorway's still blocked when she comes back, he goes to the Prance's side and pulls him by the elbow, saying, "Come on in, Bud. It's ok."
"Ueehhh-uehhh," grunts the Prance.
It doesn't' take elf eyes to see from where I'm sitting on the side of the stretcher the flash of apprehension that passes across Legolas' fair face. He quickly pulls his arm out of Yes Dear's grasp.
"What's the matter?" Yes Dear asks.
Legolas glances around to see who's listening before he leans over to Yes Dear's ear and whispers, "It'z tuu daerk en dere!"
A giggle bursts from my lips. Had I not been so drunk from the drugs, I might have realized it when he first stopped at the door. Normally, this much new machinery in one room would have sent his curiosity skyrocketing.
"The technician's just going to take my picture, baby," I try to reassure him. "It's ok; it won't hurt me at all. Come in here out of her way and let her do her job."
I watch as he begins to lower his guard and slowly approach me, his blond head weaving side to side as he absorbs all the sights to behold. Before I can take three breaths, he's plastered himself to my right side again, still taking it all in.
The technician returns with a hospital gown tucked under her arm. She helps me off the stretcher, holding the IV bag for me as she escorts me to the little dressing room in the corner. She motions for me to sit down as she lays the gown on the wooden bench there in the little room and works to hang the IV bag on a hook on the wall behind my head.
"If you need me, honey, you just call. I'll be right outside the door," she says. Turning to leave, she runs headlong into the broad, muscular chest of my protector.
"OUT!" she orders, putting a sharpened, well-manicured fingernail smack dab in the center of the Prance's breastbone. She marches him straight backward, his mouth shaped into a little "O" and his eyes glued to the indentation her blood-red fingernail is making in his T-shirt.
I have to give him credit here. Instead of reacting with his well-honed elven fighting skills, he instead uses his charm school education and tries the suave diplomatic approach. "Vary nies! Whoe duz ur nalez?"
I never hear her response as she closes the door once she succeeds in separating us. I hurry to change my clothes, ready to get back to a lying down position as my head is now doing roller coaster moves from the medication.
Everything goes just fine until I try to unbutton my jeans. When I bend my elbow to grasp the waistband, I somehow bump the IV needle up there by my elbow rather roughly. Of course, with the strong pain medicine, it hurts a little but not really all that bad, so I ignore it and finish dressing, opening the door and getting a strong hand on my upper arm to escort me to the X-ray table, which is really what I wanted anyway. Anything steady that isn't swaying and tilting around is welcome at this point. To tell the truth, I feel so bombed from the drugs, I'm not even sure whose hand it is.
Once I'm on the table, Yes Dear takes Legolas with him out to the hallway to wait. As they pass through the doorway, I hear the Prance whisper, "Whie duz she keap kallen her hunnie whin her naem'z al?"
The technician takes a starter picture, and then comes over to my side with a huge syringe filled with a clear liquid.
"This is the dye we'll use to see where your stone is," she tells me. She puts the big needle into my IV instead of my arm, so I'm feeling better already. It's nice to know when you see a big horse-sized needle coming at you that you aren't gonna get stuck.
As she pushes the plunger to make the medicine go in, my left arm begins to burn and sting. I'm still pretty smashed from the pain killers, so I don't really think to say anything until almost all of the dye is gone from the syringe and my arm is now stinging and burning from my hand to my elbow. By this time, the technician has noticed there's a spreading puddle underneath my left elbow.
"Ah," she tells me, "your IV's leaking a little bit. Let me dry that up for you." She cleans my arm with a nice warm washcloth, rubbing it gently and then patting it dry. "There. Now for the pictures."
Over the next half-hour or so, she takes about 10 or 12 pictures of my insides while my kidneys work to flush out the dye she put in my arm. At least, I think it was a half-hour. I slept through most of it, and all I remember was hearing her say every once in a while, "Now take a deep breath, blow it all out, and hold your breath. . . . Ok, you can breathe again now."
The next thing I know, there's someone squeezed back up against my right side again, about as tight as peanut butter sticks to the bread in a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I open my eyes to find Legolas holding my hand and sitting perched against my hip.
"U okae, al?" he asks, concern etched all over his face. He's hated the separation, I can tell.
"I'm fine, Prance," I smile at him. "Where did you ditch Yes Dear?"
"He'z ober dere." Legolas answers, pointing to the little room over on the side with all the fluorescent X-ray viewing boxes in it. Ahhh, that's my Yes Dear. He's using a few stealth moves of his own, trying to get a glimpse of my films. He's getting rather skilled in finding the stones now, and gets a kick out of impressing the doctors by pointing out the stones before they can point them out to him.
The technician comes back and helps me to the bathroom before sending Legolas back outside and taking one last picture of me, then she helps me get back onto the stretcher for the ride back to the ER.
"Legolas," I ask, "will you be a dear and get my clothes out of the dressing room for me?"
"Okae, al!" says Prance Helpful. I really think I'm going to rename him that. Especially if it still fits once all this pain medicine wears off.
When we make another stop in the hallway outside while the technician delivers the X-rays to the radiologist to be read, Prance Helpful decides this is a most excellent time to live up to his new title and refold my clothing. It's amazing how funny things are when you're hopped up on drugs, because when he lifts my already-folded shirt from the pile on the stretcher, he drops my bra out from where I have carefully tucked it inside the shirt. I have a laughing fit watching him as he tries to catch it as gravity takes it to the floor. He looks like one of those blooper videos for football players when the ball tips off their outstretched fingertips and bounces around four or five times before they finally drop or catch it. He manages to snag it right before it reaches the floor, and then the contortions begin anew as he tries to cover up what he has just done without anyone noticing.
Of course, it's a main hallway in one of the busiest departments in the place, and he's just spent ten seconds bouncing my bra off his fingertips in front of a pile of people with nothing for entertainment except magazines from three years previous.
I'm sure nobody saw it. Positive in fact. Not a soul in the place would have noticed a long haired hippie wearing a NASCAR racing T-shirt and a crimson red face hurriedly trying to conceal a woman's bra he has just inadvertently liberated from the end of a stretcher while she laughs uproariously like a totally sloshed drunkard.
Nope. Nobody.
I'm just thankful he didn't do what he usually does when he gets his hands on my lingere.
We wait for the X-ray results back in the ER. After another brief napping session, Dr. King peeks his head through the curtain. "Want the good news, or the bad news?" he says.
Watching me blink wide-eyed and still under the influence, he just decides to cut to the chase. "The radiologist says he doesn't see a stone in your left kidney. He also says the contrast dye didn't work very well for some reason, and he can't totally rule out a stone anywhere else either. The good news is, I think you might have already passed it. We'll give you another round of the pain and nausea medication just to be safe, and then you're free to go on home."
He twirls and executes the patented Doctor Disappearing act before I can breathe my sigh of relief. Legolas is patting my hand joyously, smiling from ear to pointed ear. Yes Dear is already gathering up his magazines to return them to the waiting room before we leave.
I get my next fix of painkiller, have my IV discontinued, receive my patient education instruction sheet, and get dressed; now I'm ready to go. Yes Dear goes to retrieve the car while Legolas stands holding firmly onto me at the front door of the hospital.
It isn't until we're in the car and halfway back home that I hear him ask from the backseat, "al? Wuzn't dat paen en ur RITE keedney?"
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A/N: Big thanks to PuterPatty, not only for the beta, but for her extra strength and support over the past bit of time. Hannon le, nin mel.
There are others of you who also need thanking, but we are not yet to that part of the saga, are we?? More thankings, coming soon. I said 'thankings', Irena, not 'spankings'. Geez.
Lub Ledderz frum Legolas
Fadesintothewest: I em noet gittin eniware neer dat Eggs Rae sorserie! al sez u git moer fur ur muney wid chield bierth. *cueddlz*
daw the minstrel: I dunnoe whut Lord Elrond duz; I hav neber sean enithang like dis beafour. Dat meadasin al goet at da hoespitul seamed tu wurk tho. *I saevd dis kees jest fur u *
Sperry Dee: Ar da Nazbuenniez hear yaet? Deed Charlie hav tu goe tu da hoespitul tu hav her baybeez? *seandz loetz of elbin lub fur u an Charlie an da baybeez *
TreeHugger: Due u reely thaenk derez a whizrd hear? * luuks around, chekz uendur cowch cueshinz * I doen't sea eni. U ar rite tho, Ada's Eyebroew duzn't wurk hear. I wuld like a shiert like dat laydeez wid da baerz oen it, buet doze neadlez, *shueddrz, * u kin keap dose. *snuegglz u* Doent tael Meestr Ron, okae?
Nilmandra: I wuz vary guud at da hoespitul. At leest, I tryd tu bea vary guud. Dere ar soe meny eenteresteeng thangz dere! * straetch my aermz owt an taek u geentlee entu my eembraese, breengeng u en fur a sloe braethtaekeng kees*
VladmirsAngel: MMMmmmm-M & M's ar guud. I like da neu blew wonz, hoew abot u? U deedn't tael me whut ur foebeeuh iz, melamin. Hoew kin I hep? * cueddlz u*
Lina Skye: Yaes Deer an I maek a guud teem. He paerkz da kar, an I hole al'z haed wile she throez up. Yaes Deer sez he likez me bean heez neu paertner an dat I em reely guud at my joeb. *Hearz a smuuch fur u!*
SarWolfe Snape: Hoespitulz ar skeeerie! Dat ruum wuz daerk en dere, an al haed tu bea all aloen. I dunnoe abot a kaemara dat kin oenlee sea ur eensiedz. *kin u hueg me? Thaenks!*
Lady Silence: * smuuch* Deed u sea my neu haet? I gaev al da eerz oeff my choklit Eestr Raebbitt. She maed me eet da tael-Groas! *gievz u a hie-fiev an a seekrit haendshaek-ax da pingwin whut it meenz, he maed it uep*
Angaloth: we hav a loet of thoern bueshiz en Meedle-erth, jest like hear. It'z a worrierz world oet dere, bea kaerful! * seengz "Caer-ib-e-un Am-fib- e-un, a froewg en a kokonuet trea. . . ." jest fur u*
JastaElf: Honestly, Jasta, you have GOT to quit calling him that-though it's true he DOES get himself all sweetly sticky drooling like that while he's out of it. *pats Prance's face dry and helps him back into compy chair * Hae Jasta! Hae Ada! Haeppie Birfdae, Keeng Thranduil Keetin! We haed tu git a neu coempuder tu! Yaes Deer keeld al'z daed won nite wile we ware at kwior praktise. Ada duzn't due dat laffin thang muech (weel, he DUZ, buet alwaez aftur da doar iz kloezd. I thaenk Saeros an maebee Tanglinna wear de oenlee wonz tu eber sea heem enuf tu sae it wuz NOARMAL). U shuld trie won of al'z fuezzie baelliebuddonz-I thaenk dere da baest! *beeg huegz u, an giv won tu Ada tu, puhleeze?*
Newmoon: Hearz anuthr uepdaut fur u! I doen't noe if I hav hepd muech buet I hav tryd tu stae oudda trubel. Leedle Peep jest goet da Hairy Podder DeeVDee. I lub wachin it wid her. She doen't like spydrz, buet dat reamindz me of hoem. *weenk an a kees fur u*
Dragon-of-the-north: Weel, I deedn't waent dat nuers tu thaenk da roeng theeng, u noe?? It oenlee takez fiev minitz tu git tu da heelrz frum hear, eben tho dey ar a biet straenge indaed. * snuegglz u*
Magical Rachel: U noe, noebuddie sed a thaeng abot my eerz. Ethur dey ar gitting used tu dem noew, or dere ar a loet of uenuzuel luukin people in dis paert of Modren-erth. *sweat kees fur u tu keap*
The Whisperer: I doen't like da neadlez eethr. *shueddrz * Awww, dat's sweat, keapin my hueg an keez oen ur spaeshul shaelf. Hear'z a flaez tu goe beasied dem. *flaexez muesclez fur u *
Lil' Pip: Leedle Peep! Leedle Peep! Iz dat reely u?? Hae, if I kin't boerrow ur klothz, kin I plae wid dat peenk spaerklie baell oen a neklise streeng ensted?? Perty pleeze, wid a choklit keez oen toep?? * gievz bak ur straetchie buebbel shiert I boerroed laest munth*
Rebecca: * paetz ur bak* Hoep u hav raestid uep noew! Thaenkz fur da thot of cheekin suup-dat'z a guud ideea! * kueddlz*
Astrid Tinuvial: I theenk I kowntid foarty-savin ledderz dis tiem. Ebery won iz vary spaeshul tu me. My hare staez kleen naeturelly-Irena sez it muest bea skotchgaerd, whuteber dat iz. *hearz a kees fur u*
anna: I weel tael u a seekrit. al deedn't luuk eethr. I noe, cuz I deedn't luuk, I wuz luukin at al noet luukin. *smuuch*
leail: LEAIL!!LEAIL!! Dis iz a guud haebit! I em an elf worrier, oef koarse I wuzn't frytind! * wakz al en da bak tu hep her wid a sueddin koffin fiet* U okae, al? Hae leail, u wanna trie dat Pierate theeng agin? Luuk, laydeez, dere goez dat guey whoe theenkz he iz me! *poeyntz * *watez* *SNOEGZ U!!*
Mickie: I sed I wuz noet frytind, I em an elf worrier. * stopz tu haelp al agin* al, u reely nead tu taek sumptin fur dat koff. I steel wanna driev da Beeg Broewn Truk misef. *duz da NASCAR veekturee daense, jest fur praktise*
Chan: Mae govannen, nin mellon! Wekkum! Hae, eberybuddie, luuk whoe'z hear! Chan! al tryd dat Sea Pee Ar thaeng wonse, buet Yaes Deer woen't leat us praktise no moer. OOeeehhh, al, she kaeld me lend caun edhellen! And you ARE, nin caun, you are!! *blueshiz an bloewz u a keez! *
Tifa: I meesed u! Glaed u seant me a ledder dis tiem. Tifa wuld bea a guud name fur a keetin, u noe? *huegz*
Michelle: Naew, u shueldn't bea uep oen a titeroap if u doen't like hitez. We kin eat da kaendee oen da grownd jest fien. *paessiz u sum Hearsheez Keesiz*
Anja: Oeh, doen't krie! *haendz u teeshuez * Oeh, whin wimin krie it jest taerz me tu peesiz! We weel all take guud kaer of al, u weel sea! *seandz u sweat keesiz*
bored2death: Whur deed u puet ur tonsilz? Kin u git dem bak? Due u nead dem? Dat guey whoe thaeknz he iz me kin't fite neer az guud wid a sord as I kin wid my wite nifz. He'z leerning tho. Ar u deeluerkin? Guud tu sea u! *skweezez u*
JaguarKitty2006: I proemis tu protek al. I thot I deed perty guud dis tiem, deed u? **beeg hueg fur u*
Elleth na Ilivren: al, wuz I seaxy whin I wuz taeking kaer of u? Yes, nin caun, many women would find that sexy and highly desirable, I might add. * blueshiz* Hannon le, Elleth na Iluvien! *keesiz u*
ren: Luuk, al, anuthr neu faengurl! * reedz reeveiw* Iz she laffin at me?? No, turn off the toaster, she was laughing at ME, dear (whew, THAT was close!) She kaeld me Legolas da Kuewt! I feal like Ruewdoff da Raed Nozed Raindear! *poences oeff showteeng "I'em Kuewt! I'em kuewt!" *
Dunrosiel: Ebery dae at al'z IZ a fuennie koemedie. U shuld all coem liv heer. *cueddlz*
Laura: Hannon le fur da huegz an keesiz. al tryd tu git mien tu, buet I keapt won of eech an gav her da raest. Is dat okae? *huegz an keesiz u cuz I nead a reafeel*
Katani Petitedra: * faenz u wid my haendz* Qwik, al, git her sum choklit! Dat owta breeng her around. . . it wurkz fur u!
Irena: DERE SHE IZ, al! SKWEEEE!!! IRENA! IRENA! I em soe glaed I sean ya! Ur leepz ar a dreema, IRENA! Keez me, kwik! *kloeziz eyez an wates pashuntlee*
939597: Wael, Hae Hae! Soe glaed u joynd us! I aelwaez lub it whin sumwon neu ketches uep wid da raest. Keap reedin, I proemis u weel eanjoey it! An hoew deed u git ur name?? *beeg hueg fur eaffurt fur u!*
Aranel: Oeh, I LUB dat soeng! * daensiz an seengz "Neu wae tu waelk" like da peegiez jest fur u* Ar u goen tu bea da won whoe haz tu steek peepl? Da laydee whoe deed al wuz very nise heer. Thaenz fur da buebbilz!
Lady Peredhel: I doen't noe whut tu due at da heelerz eethr, eggsept whut I deed wid al. Hueminz an elfz due hav sum theengz alik. * ketchiz keesiz, duezn't menashun whut haeppinz beahiend da trea dis tiem. . . *
JavaGlxy: Ada duzn't noe al az weal az I due. He wuz vary guud at hepin me whin I goet huert as an elfling tho. I laernd muech frum heem. He iz taekin kaer of JastaElf noew. *skweeziz u*
Holly :o) : Ur Ada haed 3 at da saem tiem?? * fayntz* *krawlz bak en chaer* Datz aloet of payne. Deed he miess da paertie? *huegz fur u*
Anon: PP iz an all powerful whizzerd at beata reeding. al duz a lot of beata reeding tu, an sumtiemz we git beahiend oen uepdaetz whin she haz aloet of dem. al sez e-male her-she'z goet a loet of deert fur u-I dunno whut dat meenz. *cueddlez u*
PuterPatty: PP!! PP!! Hav u tryd deze Huennie Nuet Chekz? * paessiz u a haendfuel* *pawzez* *puellz u bak an sneefz beahiend ur eer* Wate a minit. . . *sneefz boexz of Chekz* Of koarse u hav! Hoew seelie of me! *Nuezzlz u bak. . . * Deze chekz muest bea sum foarm of elbin afro-dee-zeaak. . .* nuezzlz moer, an den. . . .*
Stimpy aka Amber: Noe Intreneat fur a hoel munth??*shueddrz* Hae, I culd due a haendstaend ooen toep of a stak of chaerz I bet. . . Ur moem soewndz alot like al! *seandz u a beeg kees*
Cara 6: I thot dat nuers wuz goenna steek ME! I em steel noet tu shur it wuz noet an eevil whizzard dat puet a spael oen al. Dey ar sneaky u noe! Deed u speen arond like me wid ur leedle wite nifz? Doen't furgit, I wuld neber uze da wite nifz oen Araporn, soe u doen't git Andy bie akksideant, okae? Noe ER veesitz fur u tuu. Tuu skeerie! *seandz sum XOXOXOXO's tu u!* Giv a hie-fiev tu Andy 8 fur me, okae??
Campy Oh: Owr hoespiteel iz taen an yaello an grean ensied. Dose ar guud kulurz I theenk. al sez we mite goe tu da Magik Keengdum beafoar I goe bak tu Meedle-erth-I hoep soe!! *snuegglz fur u*
Arilyn: Aiy!! Weaddeengz! Aiy!! al kin tael sum talez abot her weaddeeng wid Yeas Deer. Maebee won dae she weel rite dem up-I weel axz her. *hearz a kees tu git u threw*
The Two Princesses: Wekkom bak oenlien! I theenk u hav sum vary guud kwestshunz hear. I weel ax al tu anser dem en da nekz chaeptr, okae? I em vary saed tu heer u haed tu hav a neadl, an I em glaed al deedn't miend it soe baed! I doen't noe whut I wuld hav dun if I haed tu hoeld her doewn- she'z stroeng! Giv M a hueg an a keez fur me, an hears sum moer XOXOXOXO's fur u tuu! *XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO*
bizzy: *hearz a smuuch fur u* al haz goettin vary used tu dis I gess. I hoep I neber hav tu sea her like dat agin. She'z a tuff ole cuuky. *dukz az al tryz tu wak me*
Digital Jessie: Sorree we skaerd u. al sez tu tael u sum druegz ar okae an guud tu taek-if ur Doktur sez tu taek dem. * keesiz u wile al iz steel oen dat meadisin an aent luukin. . .*
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Ok, there you go. Everyone happy with their fix of "Legolas Lub" this week?? I've started working on Chapter 9 already, so don't get left out! Click the little button, and tell us you were here!
See you next time!
Namarie, eberybuddie!!
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Chapter 8 You Oughta Be In Pictures
"Eggz Rae?" repeats the Prance. He scoots a bit closer to my hip, assuming a more protective bearing. "Due u waenna goe tu Eggz Rae, al?" he asks with a worried expression.
"I NEED to go to X-ray, Legolas," I tell him. "It doesn't really matter whether I want to go or not."
"Hop down, sweetie," the woman in the teddy bear scrubs says, patting Legolas on the thigh. Her nametag reads "Robin".
"Weel, whut if I doen't waent tu?" says the Prance, deciding in his protectiveness that being contrary might be the best defense for this current threat. He sits tight up against me, his bottom mashing against my right hip.
"For cryin' out loud, Legolas, get outta the way!" snaps Yes Dear, finally putting down the magazine and getting up from the chair. One look at the Prance's distressed face is all it takes to soften him. "Look, buddy, they're not gonna hurt her. If you want, you and I can follow them down there, and you can stay with al until they take her back to do it."
Legolas cocks his head and considers this, and then he finally relents and climbs down from his perch on the stretcher. I can actually feel the blood rush back into the vacated space of skin on my hip. Legolas moves to stand at the ready beside Yes Dear, arms at his sides and his feet spread apart. It is the same guarding stance he used in Meduseld, the Golden Hall of King Theoden, when Theoden and Aragorn had their discussion about the course of action that should be taken against the approaching darkness of Saruman's army while Gimli consumed his fill of meat and ale.
Robin steps over toward me. Legolas suddenly springs back into action, leaping between her and the stretcher. Yes Dear tries to catch him by the arm, but with the handful of magazines to juggle, he misses. "NO!" I hear him command.
"It'z okae, I goet it," says the Prance. Ever helpful, he reaches down past Robin to grasp the lowered bedrail and bring it up, latching it firmly in place. "I almost furgoet," he says, blushing.
Robin's a bit startled at his sudden movement, being still slightly unsure of him because of the defensive posturing he was putting on before. "Uhm. . . well. . . ahhh. . . .Here we go then," she stutters.
She rolls the stretcher out of the curtained cubicle and turns right, moving down through the ER to a big wooden door. The Prance and Yes Dear follow a short distance behind. Robin turns back toward them, saying, "Would one of you mind going ahead of us and opening the door there?"
"ME!" shouts the Prance, hopping past Yes Dear and the stretcher and into the lead. As he bolts to the door and reaches to push it open, Yes Dear slaps the big silver disc way back further on the wall by the light switch, activating the automatic door opener. Legolas doesn't see this though, and when the door magically swings outward just as he reaches it without touching, he stops dead in his tracks, looking down at his feet. He knows about the door opener at the grocery store, the one with the black floor mat that activates when you step on it, and the one at Wal-Mart with the motion sensor with the little red light overhead that sees you approaching and slides the doors open to let you in. His quick elven senses had not detected either of these assistive devices, and his brain had registered for him to push the door open by the way the hinges were aligned. He's totally unprepared for wizard magic.
Robin, not anticipating that he will stop, runs smack into him with the stretcher. "Oh! Sorry, sweetie!" she exclaims. "Are you ok?"
Legolas, now standing dead center in the doorway, is looking for the mechanism by which this latest devilry has been accomplished. He nods haphazardly to no one in particular, muttering, "Ueh hueh. . . ." Unable to satisfy his curiosity, he runs his hands over the framing, searching for whatever it is that made the door open.
"What's he doing?" I hear Robin whisper to Yes Dear where they are standing by my head.
"Looking for the door opener. Watch this," Yes Dear answers her.
As the Prance's investigating hand reaches the hydraulic door closer at the top corner, Yes Dear gently uses his elbow to tap the silver disc for the automatic door again, causing it to close. Legolas jumps back, surveying what he thinks is the explanation for his problem. When the door is fully closed, with us still inside the ER, Legolas waves his hand in front of the hydraulic closer again, and Yes Dear dutifully presses the silver disc. This goes on for a few openings and closings until my better half decides that his protégé has mastered the fine art of waving his hand in the air.
Now the stakes change.
The door is currently closed with us still on the inside. The Prance looks back at Robin, and with a sweet smile that would melt butter, says, "Raedie?"
"Yes," says Robin.
The Prance smiles a little bigger and turns back to the door. He raises and waves his right hand.
Robin keeps on smiling.
Yes Dear stands completely still.
Nothing else happens.
Nothing.
Frowning, Legolas tries using his left hand. Nothing happens. He waves it around in a bigger circle. Still nothing.
Now the Prance is scowling. When he turns back to Robin, the scowl magically disappears and is instantly replaced by a look of genuine innocence. He shrugs his shoulders, smiles sweetly, and turns to the door again. This time when he goes to raise his hand, he rubs his palms together first. As his right hand begins to wave, Yes Dear pushes the silver button and the door opens up once again by some sort of secret sorcery.
Legolas doesn't waste a second. He grabs the foot of the stretcher and hauls me through the doorway top speed with one mighty tug. "Coem oen!!" he calls to Robin and Yes Dear who are still standing in the ER. "Huerrie!!"
We take another right turn, and a few moments later reach the doors of the X-ray department. Yes Dear gives the Prance a break this time and pushes the automatic door button before Legolas can pause to contemplate any further gesticulations. Legolas hauls his end of the stretcher quickly through the doorway, making certain this time not to get caught outside the doors.
Robin parks me in the hallway while she goes to see if the room is ready. When she comes back with the ok, I'm rolled into a darkened room with a hard table in the center that has a huge machine hovering over it.
Yes Dear, having done this plenty of times before, follows me right on in, but Legolas stops just inside the door, silhouetted by the bright light of the hallway. In my inebriated state, he looks like a deity of some kind, glowing with the illumination of the backlight that casts fiery reflections of gold off of his long hair. He has assumed the sentinel stance again, not moving from the center of the doorway.
"Excuse me," says a voice from the hall. When he doesn't move, the speaker clears her throat and tries again. "I said EXCUSE ME!"
The Prance doesn't budge an inch, remaining in place with feet planted shoulder-width apart, arms folded across his chest, watchful eyes turned forward on his charge. The only movements he makes are the cocking of his blond head a half-inch to the right, the lifting of the Thranduil eyebrow on the left, and the undulations of his lips as he inquires over his shoulder, "An whoe ar u?"
"I'm the radiology technician. Now get outta my doorway," says the petite little middle-aged woman as she elbows him aside and enters the room. Picking up a small stepstool, she approaches me and places it on the floor beside the stretcher before reaching to lower the side railing.
"Climb on down, honey," she says to me, "and come get up on this table here."
As I sit up and push the blanket off my legs, she makes a tsk-tsk sound and says, "Honey, why've you still got your street clothes on? You're gonna need a gown."
She elbows her way out past the Prance again, exchanging looks - his 'The Thranduilion Special' and hers 'The Look of Doom'. Since Yes Dear knows they're both going to get tossed out if the doorway's still blocked when she comes back, he goes to the Prance's side and pulls him by the elbow, saying, "Come on in, Bud. It's ok."
"Ueehhh-uehhh," grunts the Prance.
It doesn't' take elf eyes to see from where I'm sitting on the side of the stretcher the flash of apprehension that passes across Legolas' fair face. He quickly pulls his arm out of Yes Dear's grasp.
"What's the matter?" Yes Dear asks.
Legolas glances around to see who's listening before he leans over to Yes Dear's ear and whispers, "It'z tuu daerk en dere!"
A giggle bursts from my lips. Had I not been so drunk from the drugs, I might have realized it when he first stopped at the door. Normally, this much new machinery in one room would have sent his curiosity skyrocketing.
"The technician's just going to take my picture, baby," I try to reassure him. "It's ok; it won't hurt me at all. Come in here out of her way and let her do her job."
I watch as he begins to lower his guard and slowly approach me, his blond head weaving side to side as he absorbs all the sights to behold. Before I can take three breaths, he's plastered himself to my right side again, still taking it all in.
The technician returns with a hospital gown tucked under her arm. She helps me off the stretcher, holding the IV bag for me as she escorts me to the little dressing room in the corner. She motions for me to sit down as she lays the gown on the wooden bench there in the little room and works to hang the IV bag on a hook on the wall behind my head.
"If you need me, honey, you just call. I'll be right outside the door," she says. Turning to leave, she runs headlong into the broad, muscular chest of my protector.
"OUT!" she orders, putting a sharpened, well-manicured fingernail smack dab in the center of the Prance's breastbone. She marches him straight backward, his mouth shaped into a little "O" and his eyes glued to the indentation her blood-red fingernail is making in his T-shirt.
I have to give him credit here. Instead of reacting with his well-honed elven fighting skills, he instead uses his charm school education and tries the suave diplomatic approach. "Vary nies! Whoe duz ur nalez?"
I never hear her response as she closes the door once she succeeds in separating us. I hurry to change my clothes, ready to get back to a lying down position as my head is now doing roller coaster moves from the medication.
Everything goes just fine until I try to unbutton my jeans. When I bend my elbow to grasp the waistband, I somehow bump the IV needle up there by my elbow rather roughly. Of course, with the strong pain medicine, it hurts a little but not really all that bad, so I ignore it and finish dressing, opening the door and getting a strong hand on my upper arm to escort me to the X-ray table, which is really what I wanted anyway. Anything steady that isn't swaying and tilting around is welcome at this point. To tell the truth, I feel so bombed from the drugs, I'm not even sure whose hand it is.
Once I'm on the table, Yes Dear takes Legolas with him out to the hallway to wait. As they pass through the doorway, I hear the Prance whisper, "Whie duz she keap kallen her hunnie whin her naem'z al?"
The technician takes a starter picture, and then comes over to my side with a huge syringe filled with a clear liquid.
"This is the dye we'll use to see where your stone is," she tells me. She puts the big needle into my IV instead of my arm, so I'm feeling better already. It's nice to know when you see a big horse-sized needle coming at you that you aren't gonna get stuck.
As she pushes the plunger to make the medicine go in, my left arm begins to burn and sting. I'm still pretty smashed from the pain killers, so I don't really think to say anything until almost all of the dye is gone from the syringe and my arm is now stinging and burning from my hand to my elbow. By this time, the technician has noticed there's a spreading puddle underneath my left elbow.
"Ah," she tells me, "your IV's leaking a little bit. Let me dry that up for you." She cleans my arm with a nice warm washcloth, rubbing it gently and then patting it dry. "There. Now for the pictures."
Over the next half-hour or so, she takes about 10 or 12 pictures of my insides while my kidneys work to flush out the dye she put in my arm. At least, I think it was a half-hour. I slept through most of it, and all I remember was hearing her say every once in a while, "Now take a deep breath, blow it all out, and hold your breath. . . . Ok, you can breathe again now."
The next thing I know, there's someone squeezed back up against my right side again, about as tight as peanut butter sticks to the bread in a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I open my eyes to find Legolas holding my hand and sitting perched against my hip.
"U okae, al?" he asks, concern etched all over his face. He's hated the separation, I can tell.
"I'm fine, Prance," I smile at him. "Where did you ditch Yes Dear?"
"He'z ober dere." Legolas answers, pointing to the little room over on the side with all the fluorescent X-ray viewing boxes in it. Ahhh, that's my Yes Dear. He's using a few stealth moves of his own, trying to get a glimpse of my films. He's getting rather skilled in finding the stones now, and gets a kick out of impressing the doctors by pointing out the stones before they can point them out to him.
The technician comes back and helps me to the bathroom before sending Legolas back outside and taking one last picture of me, then she helps me get back onto the stretcher for the ride back to the ER.
"Legolas," I ask, "will you be a dear and get my clothes out of the dressing room for me?"
"Okae, al!" says Prance Helpful. I really think I'm going to rename him that. Especially if it still fits once all this pain medicine wears off.
When we make another stop in the hallway outside while the technician delivers the X-rays to the radiologist to be read, Prance Helpful decides this is a most excellent time to live up to his new title and refold my clothing. It's amazing how funny things are when you're hopped up on drugs, because when he lifts my already-folded shirt from the pile on the stretcher, he drops my bra out from where I have carefully tucked it inside the shirt. I have a laughing fit watching him as he tries to catch it as gravity takes it to the floor. He looks like one of those blooper videos for football players when the ball tips off their outstretched fingertips and bounces around four or five times before they finally drop or catch it. He manages to snag it right before it reaches the floor, and then the contortions begin anew as he tries to cover up what he has just done without anyone noticing.
Of course, it's a main hallway in one of the busiest departments in the place, and he's just spent ten seconds bouncing my bra off his fingertips in front of a pile of people with nothing for entertainment except magazines from three years previous.
I'm sure nobody saw it. Positive in fact. Not a soul in the place would have noticed a long haired hippie wearing a NASCAR racing T-shirt and a crimson red face hurriedly trying to conceal a woman's bra he has just inadvertently liberated from the end of a stretcher while she laughs uproariously like a totally sloshed drunkard.
Nope. Nobody.
I'm just thankful he didn't do what he usually does when he gets his hands on my lingere.
We wait for the X-ray results back in the ER. After another brief napping session, Dr. King peeks his head through the curtain. "Want the good news, or the bad news?" he says.
Watching me blink wide-eyed and still under the influence, he just decides to cut to the chase. "The radiologist says he doesn't see a stone in your left kidney. He also says the contrast dye didn't work very well for some reason, and he can't totally rule out a stone anywhere else either. The good news is, I think you might have already passed it. We'll give you another round of the pain and nausea medication just to be safe, and then you're free to go on home."
He twirls and executes the patented Doctor Disappearing act before I can breathe my sigh of relief. Legolas is patting my hand joyously, smiling from ear to pointed ear. Yes Dear is already gathering up his magazines to return them to the waiting room before we leave.
I get my next fix of painkiller, have my IV discontinued, receive my patient education instruction sheet, and get dressed; now I'm ready to go. Yes Dear goes to retrieve the car while Legolas stands holding firmly onto me at the front door of the hospital.
It isn't until we're in the car and halfway back home that I hear him ask from the backseat, "al? Wuzn't dat paen en ur RITE keedney?"
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A/N: Big thanks to PuterPatty, not only for the beta, but for her extra strength and support over the past bit of time. Hannon le, nin mel.
There are others of you who also need thanking, but we are not yet to that part of the saga, are we?? More thankings, coming soon. I said 'thankings', Irena, not 'spankings'. Geez.
Lub Ledderz frum Legolas
Fadesintothewest: I em noet gittin eniware neer dat Eggs Rae sorserie! al sez u git moer fur ur muney wid chield bierth. *cueddlz*
daw the minstrel: I dunnoe whut Lord Elrond duz; I hav neber sean enithang like dis beafour. Dat meadasin al goet at da hoespitul seamed tu wurk tho. *I saevd dis kees jest fur u *
Sperry Dee: Ar da Nazbuenniez hear yaet? Deed Charlie hav tu goe tu da hoespitul tu hav her baybeez? *seandz loetz of elbin lub fur u an Charlie an da baybeez *
TreeHugger: Due u reely thaenk derez a whizrd hear? * luuks around, chekz uendur cowch cueshinz * I doen't sea eni. U ar rite tho, Ada's Eyebroew duzn't wurk hear. I wuld like a shiert like dat laydeez wid da baerz oen it, buet doze neadlez, *shueddrz, * u kin keap dose. *snuegglz u* Doent tael Meestr Ron, okae?
Nilmandra: I wuz vary guud at da hoespitul. At leest, I tryd tu bea vary guud. Dere ar soe meny eenteresteeng thangz dere! * straetch my aermz owt an taek u geentlee entu my eembraese, breengeng u en fur a sloe braethtaekeng kees*
VladmirsAngel: MMMmmmm-M & M's ar guud. I like da neu blew wonz, hoew abot u? U deedn't tael me whut ur foebeeuh iz, melamin. Hoew kin I hep? * cueddlz u*
Lina Skye: Yaes Deer an I maek a guud teem. He paerkz da kar, an I hole al'z haed wile she throez up. Yaes Deer sez he likez me bean heez neu paertner an dat I em reely guud at my joeb. *Hearz a smuuch fur u!*
SarWolfe Snape: Hoespitulz ar skeeerie! Dat ruum wuz daerk en dere, an al haed tu bea all aloen. I dunnoe abot a kaemara dat kin oenlee sea ur eensiedz. *kin u hueg me? Thaenks!*
Lady Silence: * smuuch* Deed u sea my neu haet? I gaev al da eerz oeff my choklit Eestr Raebbitt. She maed me eet da tael-Groas! *gievz u a hie-fiev an a seekrit haendshaek-ax da pingwin whut it meenz, he maed it uep*
Angaloth: we hav a loet of thoern bueshiz en Meedle-erth, jest like hear. It'z a worrierz world oet dere, bea kaerful! * seengz "Caer-ib-e-un Am-fib- e-un, a froewg en a kokonuet trea. . . ." jest fur u*
JastaElf: Honestly, Jasta, you have GOT to quit calling him that-though it's true he DOES get himself all sweetly sticky drooling like that while he's out of it. *pats Prance's face dry and helps him back into compy chair * Hae Jasta! Hae Ada! Haeppie Birfdae, Keeng Thranduil Keetin! We haed tu git a neu coempuder tu! Yaes Deer keeld al'z daed won nite wile we ware at kwior praktise. Ada duzn't due dat laffin thang muech (weel, he DUZ, buet alwaez aftur da doar iz kloezd. I thaenk Saeros an maebee Tanglinna wear de oenlee wonz tu eber sea heem enuf tu sae it wuz NOARMAL). U shuld trie won of al'z fuezzie baelliebuddonz-I thaenk dere da baest! *beeg huegz u, an giv won tu Ada tu, puhleeze?*
Newmoon: Hearz anuthr uepdaut fur u! I doen't noe if I hav hepd muech buet I hav tryd tu stae oudda trubel. Leedle Peep jest goet da Hairy Podder DeeVDee. I lub wachin it wid her. She doen't like spydrz, buet dat reamindz me of hoem. *weenk an a kees fur u*
Dragon-of-the-north: Weel, I deedn't waent dat nuers tu thaenk da roeng theeng, u noe?? It oenlee takez fiev minitz tu git tu da heelrz frum hear, eben tho dey ar a biet straenge indaed. * snuegglz u*
Magical Rachel: U noe, noebuddie sed a thaeng abot my eerz. Ethur dey ar gitting used tu dem noew, or dere ar a loet of uenuzuel luukin people in dis paert of Modren-erth. *sweat kees fur u tu keap*
The Whisperer: I doen't like da neadlez eethr. *shueddrz * Awww, dat's sweat, keapin my hueg an keez oen ur spaeshul shaelf. Hear'z a flaez tu goe beasied dem. *flaexez muesclez fur u *
Lil' Pip: Leedle Peep! Leedle Peep! Iz dat reely u?? Hae, if I kin't boerrow ur klothz, kin I plae wid dat peenk spaerklie baell oen a neklise streeng ensted?? Perty pleeze, wid a choklit keez oen toep?? * gievz bak ur straetchie buebbel shiert I boerroed laest munth*
Rebecca: * paetz ur bak* Hoep u hav raestid uep noew! Thaenkz fur da thot of cheekin suup-dat'z a guud ideea! * kueddlz*
Astrid Tinuvial: I theenk I kowntid foarty-savin ledderz dis tiem. Ebery won iz vary spaeshul tu me. My hare staez kleen naeturelly-Irena sez it muest bea skotchgaerd, whuteber dat iz. *hearz a kees fur u*
anna: I weel tael u a seekrit. al deedn't luuk eethr. I noe, cuz I deedn't luuk, I wuz luukin at al noet luukin. *smuuch*
leail: LEAIL!!LEAIL!! Dis iz a guud haebit! I em an elf worrier, oef koarse I wuzn't frytind! * wakz al en da bak tu hep her wid a sueddin koffin fiet* U okae, al? Hae leail, u wanna trie dat Pierate theeng agin? Luuk, laydeez, dere goez dat guey whoe theenkz he iz me! *poeyntz * *watez* *SNOEGZ U!!*
Mickie: I sed I wuz noet frytind, I em an elf worrier. * stopz tu haelp al agin* al, u reely nead tu taek sumptin fur dat koff. I steel wanna driev da Beeg Broewn Truk misef. *duz da NASCAR veekturee daense, jest fur praktise*
Chan: Mae govannen, nin mellon! Wekkum! Hae, eberybuddie, luuk whoe'z hear! Chan! al tryd dat Sea Pee Ar thaeng wonse, buet Yaes Deer woen't leat us praktise no moer. OOeeehhh, al, she kaeld me lend caun edhellen! And you ARE, nin caun, you are!! *blueshiz an bloewz u a keez! *
Tifa: I meesed u! Glaed u seant me a ledder dis tiem. Tifa wuld bea a guud name fur a keetin, u noe? *huegz*
Michelle: Naew, u shueldn't bea uep oen a titeroap if u doen't like hitez. We kin eat da kaendee oen da grownd jest fien. *paessiz u sum Hearsheez Keesiz*
Anja: Oeh, doen't krie! *haendz u teeshuez * Oeh, whin wimin krie it jest taerz me tu peesiz! We weel all take guud kaer of al, u weel sea! *seandz u sweat keesiz*
bored2death: Whur deed u puet ur tonsilz? Kin u git dem bak? Due u nead dem? Dat guey whoe thaeknz he iz me kin't fite neer az guud wid a sord as I kin wid my wite nifz. He'z leerning tho. Ar u deeluerkin? Guud tu sea u! *skweezez u*
JaguarKitty2006: I proemis tu protek al. I thot I deed perty guud dis tiem, deed u? **beeg hueg fur u*
Elleth na Ilivren: al, wuz I seaxy whin I wuz taeking kaer of u? Yes, nin caun, many women would find that sexy and highly desirable, I might add. * blueshiz* Hannon le, Elleth na Iluvien! *keesiz u*
ren: Luuk, al, anuthr neu faengurl! * reedz reeveiw* Iz she laffin at me?? No, turn off the toaster, she was laughing at ME, dear (whew, THAT was close!) She kaeld me Legolas da Kuewt! I feal like Ruewdoff da Raed Nozed Raindear! *poences oeff showteeng "I'em Kuewt! I'em kuewt!" *
Dunrosiel: Ebery dae at al'z IZ a fuennie koemedie. U shuld all coem liv heer. *cueddlz*
Laura: Hannon le fur da huegz an keesiz. al tryd tu git mien tu, buet I keapt won of eech an gav her da raest. Is dat okae? *huegz an keesiz u cuz I nead a reafeel*
Katani Petitedra: * faenz u wid my haendz* Qwik, al, git her sum choklit! Dat owta breeng her around. . . it wurkz fur u!
Irena: DERE SHE IZ, al! SKWEEEE!!! IRENA! IRENA! I em soe glaed I sean ya! Ur leepz ar a dreema, IRENA! Keez me, kwik! *kloeziz eyez an wates pashuntlee*
939597: Wael, Hae Hae! Soe glaed u joynd us! I aelwaez lub it whin sumwon neu ketches uep wid da raest. Keap reedin, I proemis u weel eanjoey it! An hoew deed u git ur name?? *beeg hueg fur eaffurt fur u!*
Aranel: Oeh, I LUB dat soeng! * daensiz an seengz "Neu wae tu waelk" like da peegiez jest fur u* Ar u goen tu bea da won whoe haz tu steek peepl? Da laydee whoe deed al wuz very nise heer. Thaenz fur da buebbilz!
Lady Peredhel: I doen't noe whut tu due at da heelerz eethr, eggsept whut I deed wid al. Hueminz an elfz due hav sum theengz alik. * ketchiz keesiz, duezn't menashun whut haeppinz beahiend da trea dis tiem. . . *
JavaGlxy: Ada duzn't noe al az weal az I due. He wuz vary guud at hepin me whin I goet huert as an elfling tho. I laernd muech frum heem. He iz taekin kaer of JastaElf noew. *skweeziz u*
Holly :o) : Ur Ada haed 3 at da saem tiem?? * fayntz* *krawlz bak en chaer* Datz aloet of payne. Deed he miess da paertie? *huegz fur u*
Anon: PP iz an all powerful whizzerd at beata reeding. al duz a lot of beata reeding tu, an sumtiemz we git beahiend oen uepdaetz whin she haz aloet of dem. al sez e-male her-she'z goet a loet of deert fur u-I dunno whut dat meenz. *cueddlez u*
PuterPatty: PP!! PP!! Hav u tryd deze Huennie Nuet Chekz? * paessiz u a haendfuel* *pawzez* *puellz u bak an sneefz beahiend ur eer* Wate a minit. . . *sneefz boexz of Chekz* Of koarse u hav! Hoew seelie of me! *Nuezzlz u bak. . . * Deze chekz muest bea sum foarm of elbin afro-dee-zeaak. . .* nuezzlz moer, an den. . . .*
Stimpy aka Amber: Noe Intreneat fur a hoel munth??*shueddrz* Hae, I culd due a haendstaend ooen toep of a stak of chaerz I bet. . . Ur moem soewndz alot like al! *seandz u a beeg kees*
Cara 6: I thot dat nuers wuz goenna steek ME! I em steel noet tu shur it wuz noet an eevil whizzard dat puet a spael oen al. Dey ar sneaky u noe! Deed u speen arond like me wid ur leedle wite nifz? Doen't furgit, I wuld neber uze da wite nifz oen Araporn, soe u doen't git Andy bie akksideant, okae? Noe ER veesitz fur u tuu. Tuu skeerie! *seandz sum XOXOXOXO's tu u!* Giv a hie-fiev tu Andy 8 fur me, okae??
Campy Oh: Owr hoespiteel iz taen an yaello an grean ensied. Dose ar guud kulurz I theenk. al sez we mite goe tu da Magik Keengdum beafoar I goe bak tu Meedle-erth-I hoep soe!! *snuegglz fur u*
Arilyn: Aiy!! Weaddeengz! Aiy!! al kin tael sum talez abot her weaddeeng wid Yeas Deer. Maebee won dae she weel rite dem up-I weel axz her. *hearz a kees tu git u threw*
The Two Princesses: Wekkom bak oenlien! I theenk u hav sum vary guud kwestshunz hear. I weel ax al tu anser dem en da nekz chaeptr, okae? I em vary saed tu heer u haed tu hav a neadl, an I em glaed al deedn't miend it soe baed! I doen't noe whut I wuld hav dun if I haed tu hoeld her doewn- she'z stroeng! Giv M a hueg an a keez fur me, an hears sum moer XOXOXOXO's fur u tuu! *XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO*
bizzy: *hearz a smuuch fur u* al haz goettin vary used tu dis I gess. I hoep I neber hav tu sea her like dat agin. She'z a tuff ole cuuky. *dukz az al tryz tu wak me*
Digital Jessie: Sorree we skaerd u. al sez tu tael u sum druegz ar okae an guud tu taek-if ur Doktur sez tu taek dem. * keesiz u wile al iz steel oen dat meadisin an aent luukin. . .*
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Ok, there you go. Everyone happy with their fix of "Legolas Lub" this week?? I've started working on Chapter 9 already, so don't get left out! Click the little button, and tell us you were here!
See you next time!
Namarie, eberybuddie!!