Title: Wipe away all of your tearsTitle: Wipe away all of your tears
Spoilers: Chimera and Death Knell
Authors Note: Title from My Immortal, Evanescence
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I stood outside the door to the Infirmary, hesitating on the threshold. She'd
asked for some time alone and I'd given it to her. Gone to the Mess and had some food
while I waited until I thought it was time to go back. Time enough to herself for
whatever reason she needed it.
She'd come back from the other planet - and just that thought made my mind
hiccup in amazement - injured and unconscious, born on a stretcher between her
Commanding Officer and Teal'c, the alien friend of theirs. I knew this because
Doctor Jackson had told me while we were waiting for her to come out of surgery.
All of us, her father included, seated in the corridor waiting for news.
I'd stayed with her while she recovered from the anaesthetic, talking to and
soothing her through the confusion of awakening from that deep sleep. I'd whispered to
her as she'd cried into her pillow, holding her hand in mine and giving her what
comfort I could. Then she'd asked for me to leave. Just for a while. Her voice was so
forlorn and desolated, I'd granted her request immediately.
Now I was about to go back in again, and I felt nervous. I wasn't sure why, but
I had this feeling that I'd done the wrong thing. That maybe she hadn't meant what
she said. That maybe, just maybe I should have stayed. But this was Sam. She
never prevaricated. What she said, she meant.
I finally opened the door and stepped quietly inside, trying to keep my
footsteps silent in case she had managed to fall asleep once again. The curtain around her bed
was closed, the lights in the Infirmary dimmed. A nurse at one of the stations was
flicking through the paperwork on the desk, searching for something. Finally, she opened
a drawer and pulled out a pen before sitting down and filling in a form of some
kind. I walked over to the curtain and peeked in.
Sam way lying curled on her side, her feet closest to me. At the head of the
bed, in a hard plastic chair was her C.O. Sam was awake, staring silently at Colonel
O'Neill, who was staring just as silently back. I almost cleared my throat to announce
my presence. But something stayed me. I think it was Sam's small movement as
tears slowly rolled down her cheeks. Tears of grief, no doubt, for those she had seen
killed in the attack from our enemies that she had somehow managed to survive.
I felt an urge to go to her, to wipe those tears away with my own hand. To hold
her and comfort her. But again, I hesitated.
I watched, stunned and resentful, as she reached out a bandaged, drip-festooned
hand towards her C.O. He stared at the hand in bewilderment before letting go
of the pen that he had been fiddling with and took her hand in his. His eyes widened
and I watched as his face softened from his usual harsh expression into one that I
didn't care to describe, but filled me with morbid dread even so. She brought his hand
towards her face, and for a moment I thought she was going to kiss it. But
instead, she put it to her cheek, palm inwards, then sighed and closed her eyes again.
O'Neill didn't move, just watched her as she rested, face cupped in his hand.
I felt a shiver of awareness run through my body and suddenly realised that I'd
make a huge mistake. Somehow, in the last few hours I'd managed to lose her. I'd
been with her since she'd awoken, only leaving on her request. I'd been attentive
and caring, showing her how I felt with words and comfort, yet I'd lost her. I
hesitated on confronting the two of them before deciding to withdraw. Better the man who
knew he was lost than the man who struggled for the hopeless. I had my pride, damn
it.
My last glimpse was of him reaching forward to brush her cheek with his free
hand. And I knew that he was wiping away her tears.
-fin-
Spoilers: Chimera and Death Knell
Authors Note: Title from My Immortal, Evanescence
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I stood outside the door to the Infirmary, hesitating on the threshold. She'd
asked for some time alone and I'd given it to her. Gone to the Mess and had some food
while I waited until I thought it was time to go back. Time enough to herself for
whatever reason she needed it.
She'd come back from the other planet - and just that thought made my mind
hiccup in amazement - injured and unconscious, born on a stretcher between her
Commanding Officer and Teal'c, the alien friend of theirs. I knew this because
Doctor Jackson had told me while we were waiting for her to come out of surgery.
All of us, her father included, seated in the corridor waiting for news.
I'd stayed with her while she recovered from the anaesthetic, talking to and
soothing her through the confusion of awakening from that deep sleep. I'd whispered to
her as she'd cried into her pillow, holding her hand in mine and giving her what
comfort I could. Then she'd asked for me to leave. Just for a while. Her voice was so
forlorn and desolated, I'd granted her request immediately.
Now I was about to go back in again, and I felt nervous. I wasn't sure why, but
I had this feeling that I'd done the wrong thing. That maybe she hadn't meant what
she said. That maybe, just maybe I should have stayed. But this was Sam. She
never prevaricated. What she said, she meant.
I finally opened the door and stepped quietly inside, trying to keep my
footsteps silent in case she had managed to fall asleep once again. The curtain around her bed
was closed, the lights in the Infirmary dimmed. A nurse at one of the stations was
flicking through the paperwork on the desk, searching for something. Finally, she opened
a drawer and pulled out a pen before sitting down and filling in a form of some
kind. I walked over to the curtain and peeked in.
Sam way lying curled on her side, her feet closest to me. At the head of the
bed, in a hard plastic chair was her C.O. Sam was awake, staring silently at Colonel
O'Neill, who was staring just as silently back. I almost cleared my throat to announce
my presence. But something stayed me. I think it was Sam's small movement as
tears slowly rolled down her cheeks. Tears of grief, no doubt, for those she had seen
killed in the attack from our enemies that she had somehow managed to survive.
I felt an urge to go to her, to wipe those tears away with my own hand. To hold
her and comfort her. But again, I hesitated.
I watched, stunned and resentful, as she reached out a bandaged, drip-festooned
hand towards her C.O. He stared at the hand in bewilderment before letting go
of the pen that he had been fiddling with and took her hand in his. His eyes widened
and I watched as his face softened from his usual harsh expression into one that I
didn't care to describe, but filled me with morbid dread even so. She brought his hand
towards her face, and for a moment I thought she was going to kiss it. But
instead, she put it to her cheek, palm inwards, then sighed and closed her eyes again.
O'Neill didn't move, just watched her as she rested, face cupped in his hand.
I felt a shiver of awareness run through my body and suddenly realised that I'd
make a huge mistake. Somehow, in the last few hours I'd managed to lose her. I'd
been with her since she'd awoken, only leaving on her request. I'd been attentive
and caring, showing her how I felt with words and comfort, yet I'd lost her. I
hesitated on confronting the two of them before deciding to withdraw. Better the man who
knew he was lost than the man who struggled for the hopeless. I had my pride, damn
it.
My last glimpse was of him reaching forward to brush her cheek with his free
hand. And I knew that he was wiping away her tears.
-fin-