I just started work at State Farm, which does life and car insurance along
with a bunch of other stuff, which is where this idea came from and was
written.
Crossposted to my journal and fm_alchemist.
PG-13 Poor Ed or Ed's car search
One day in the future Ed turned 16 and decided that he wanted to perform that right of passage for all teenage boys, buying your first car. Thanks to his job as General Mustang's pet dog and future desk breaker he had plenty of money to buy the car. Unfortunately, not having spent a lot of time around boys his own age he had no idea on what would be a good car to get. Ed decided to ask Hughes for advice since despite being obsessed with his daughter he thought the Inspector had a good head on his shoulders and Ed figured he would know of what cars were considered cool. Then he trapped Hughes in his office and asked him "I'm 16 and it's time I got my own car, do you know what a good car would be for me?"
"Well," Hughes drawled, "You already know you drive stick, so what you need to do first is decide what you need to compensate for."
Of course here Ed interrupted Hughes by throwing a tantrum over being called short. Leaving the Hughes's office in a huff Ed decided to go ask Col. Hawkeye for advice since she was the most sensible person that he knew (not that that said much). Unfortunately while walking to General Mustang's office where Col. Hawkeye was sure to be, he was waylaid by Armstrong.
"So I have heard you are looking for a new car. Now I will give you the advice handed down through the ages by the great Armstrong Family Tradition. Choose a car that you can sparkle gracefully in." ~Pose and Sparkle~*
At this poor Ed ran off in the opposite direction with his eyes squeezed shut to avoid seeing anymore of that most horrible sight. Here Ed's luck held true and since it just wasn't his day he ran into Col. Havoc. Col Havoc having just heard from the latest round of gossip about the chibi looking into buying a car decided to offer his big brotherly advice.
"So Ed, I hear your looking into buying a new car. Make sure you have room in the back seat to." Here Col Havoc descended into pantomime with a ~Nudge, Nudge, Wink, Wink~ and then left to finish his errands for his boss, Col Hawkeye. This left Ed at a bit of a loss and he decided to ask Hawkeye two questions: What type of car should he get and what in the world did ~Nudge, Nudge, Wink, Wink~ mean.
Upon finally making his way to General Mustang's office where Col. Hawkeye could usually be found, Ed found both Col. Hawkeye and General Mustang. Deciding to pay no attention to General Mustang, Ed asked Col. Hawkeye his questions.
"Col. Hawkeye, what does ~Nudge, Nudge, Wink, Wink~ mean and I'm thinking about getting a car, any idea of what is considered cool out there right now?
Though startled by the questions, Col. Hawkeye without a change in expression answered his them.
"Well, the General would want you to ask him what ~Nudge, Nudge, Wink, Wink~ means and you want to get a car that's performs well in the rain, since you don't want your car to ^Useless^."
The general had been sitting quietly at his desk as Ed asked his questions, but at Col. Hawkeye's first answer he turned red and at her second answer he started sputtering.
"I'm not useless" He muttered to himself before he interrupted her and prevented her from further damaging his self-esteem by sending her away on an "important" errand. (The door opens to revel Armstrong, Havoc, and Hughes with their ears to the door. They then fall down into a big pile). As Col. Hawkeye left the office the General then firmly told Ed
"When you're 18 and if you still want me to I'll explain what ~Nudge, Nudge, Wink, Wink~ means. I can show you now though what cars are cool if you're interested in coming with me to look over the cars on Sat. and we can make a day of it."
Surprised at how firm the general was but pleased that he would take the time to look at new cars with him, Ed decided to take the general up on his offer.
"Sure, That would be great. It's a date than and I'll see you on Sat." Ed told the General as he left the office.
Two years later:
With heated grin Ed tells Roy as he softly shuts the door "So care to explain to me what ~Nudge, Nudge, Wink, Wink~ means."
PG-13 Poor Ed or Ed's car search
One day in the future Ed turned 16 and decided that he wanted to perform that right of passage for all teenage boys, buying your first car. Thanks to his job as General Mustang's pet dog and future desk breaker he had plenty of money to buy the car. Unfortunately, not having spent a lot of time around boys his own age he had no idea on what would be a good car to get. Ed decided to ask Hughes for advice since despite being obsessed with his daughter he thought the Inspector had a good head on his shoulders and Ed figured he would know of what cars were considered cool. Then he trapped Hughes in his office and asked him "I'm 16 and it's time I got my own car, do you know what a good car would be for me?"
"Well," Hughes drawled, "You already know you drive stick, so what you need to do first is decide what you need to compensate for."
Of course here Ed interrupted Hughes by throwing a tantrum over being called short. Leaving the Hughes's office in a huff Ed decided to go ask Col. Hawkeye for advice since she was the most sensible person that he knew (not that that said much). Unfortunately while walking to General Mustang's office where Col. Hawkeye was sure to be, he was waylaid by Armstrong.
"So I have heard you are looking for a new car. Now I will give you the advice handed down through the ages by the great Armstrong Family Tradition. Choose a car that you can sparkle gracefully in." ~Pose and Sparkle~*
At this poor Ed ran off in the opposite direction with his eyes squeezed shut to avoid seeing anymore of that most horrible sight. Here Ed's luck held true and since it just wasn't his day he ran into Col. Havoc. Col Havoc having just heard from the latest round of gossip about the chibi looking into buying a car decided to offer his big brotherly advice.
"So Ed, I hear your looking into buying a new car. Make sure you have room in the back seat to." Here Col Havoc descended into pantomime with a ~Nudge, Nudge, Wink, Wink~ and then left to finish his errands for his boss, Col Hawkeye. This left Ed at a bit of a loss and he decided to ask Hawkeye two questions: What type of car should he get and what in the world did ~Nudge, Nudge, Wink, Wink~ mean.
Upon finally making his way to General Mustang's office where Col. Hawkeye could usually be found, Ed found both Col. Hawkeye and General Mustang. Deciding to pay no attention to General Mustang, Ed asked Col. Hawkeye his questions.
"Col. Hawkeye, what does ~Nudge, Nudge, Wink, Wink~ mean and I'm thinking about getting a car, any idea of what is considered cool out there right now?
Though startled by the questions, Col. Hawkeye without a change in expression answered his them.
"Well, the General would want you to ask him what ~Nudge, Nudge, Wink, Wink~ means and you want to get a car that's performs well in the rain, since you don't want your car to ^Useless^."
The general had been sitting quietly at his desk as Ed asked his questions, but at Col. Hawkeye's first answer he turned red and at her second answer he started sputtering.
"I'm not useless" He muttered to himself before he interrupted her and prevented her from further damaging his self-esteem by sending her away on an "important" errand. (The door opens to revel Armstrong, Havoc, and Hughes with their ears to the door. They then fall down into a big pile). As Col. Hawkeye left the office the General then firmly told Ed
"When you're 18 and if you still want me to I'll explain what ~Nudge, Nudge, Wink, Wink~ means. I can show you now though what cars are cool if you're interested in coming with me to look over the cars on Sat. and we can make a day of it."
Surprised at how firm the general was but pleased that he would take the time to look at new cars with him, Ed decided to take the general up on his offer.
"Sure, That would be great. It's a date than and I'll see you on Sat." Ed told the General as he left the office.
Two years later:
With heated grin Ed tells Roy as he softly shuts the door "So care to explain to me what ~Nudge, Nudge, Wink, Wink~ means."