Inu-Yasha and Kagome stared wide-eyed at the bush.
A familiar figure stood up from behind it.
This figure portrayed an image of enlightenment, yet beheld sheer morbid perplexity. A monument in which emanated a sense of sedate bewilderment. Although this glorious depiction was seen as the epitome of pure evil, it flowingly discharged a certain ethereal glow of continuous profoundness and well-being. Prudent and ambitious as this physical form of essence may have masqueraded itself as, the immense depravity and horror inside was too much for all to hardly conceive. An evil where need and determination could be fulfilled by defilement of innocence. An evil where relatives meant only pitfalls with desperation as no excuse. An evil where murdering became a darkening routine, collecting an elicited proportion of knowing there is always defense, thriving on the death and warped virtues in which will achieve the goals, swollen within the torturing hell which is the self.
"ANYONE WANT SOME COOKIES?"
Inu-Yasha flinched, and gaped oddly at his half brother holding a tray of chocolate chip cookies. Kagome couldn't help but giggle, then shut herself up when she remembered how much damage this tall, handsome demon can bring.
"What? They ARE fresh, if that's what you're thinking."
They stared.
"I have oatmeal too, if you like."
"Sesshoumaru, what the HELL are you doing?"
"Offering you cookies, of course. Oh and I don't go by my full name anymore. Call me Sesshy. Or Sesshy-pie, whatever you like."
Kagome burst out laughing. Inu-Yasha snorted, trying to keep himself from falling over and rolling into a heaving guffaw. I call that snurking. So yeah. Inu-Yasha snurked.
"...Sesshy-pie, what the HELL are you doing?"
"Well, Inu-Yasha. I was eavesdropping and—"
"EAVESEDROPPING?"
"---the love in the air has gotten to me. Everyone I know is falling in love, like you and Kagome, and—"
"EXCUSE ME?" shrieked Kagome.
"Bertha is getting married to Death, and I recently met a very dashing young woman in the 4th hell---you know, the one where they're setting up The Apocalypse next millenium---who has stolen my heart and pinned it to a wall and watched the blood drip down onto the floor in a morbid, horrific mess."
Sesshoumaru gave a long sigh of bliss, looking towards the ground as if in a dream.
"My . . .brother. . .is. . .a complete...sissie."
"Maybe it's genetic."
A grumble.
"So, do you two want some cookies or not?"
Inu-Yasha sniffed. Kagome shrugged and mumbled something about not caring if she would drop dead right now anyway, and took one. She took a bite. Inu- Yasha watched.
". . . Very good, Sesshy."
"Why thank-you. New recipe."
"Mmmm I would think so."
Inu-Yasha took a cookie. Inu-Yasha nibbled on it. Inu-Yasha freaked.
"WHAT THE? SESSHY, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? WHERE'S THE MURDEROUS RAGE BROTHER I USE TO KNOW AND LOVE?"
"He is long gone, my friend. Speaking of murderous rage, you should really do something about your temper."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH---"
"Usually, Inu-Yasha, anger is built up by other emotional issues. Do you think it's time you tell someone about your feelings?"
Sesshoumaru gave Inu-Yasha a soft, uncharacteristic smile. His eyes sparkled and his hair shone. Everything about his presence was still as intense, but in a reputable way. Inu-Yasha blinked.
"Actually yes. Yes there is. Kagome."
The girl blinked.
"What?"
"I love you. I love you quite a bit. In fact I love you so much, I'd treacherously kill someone and form their spilt blood into the shape of a heart on your kitchen floor, just for you.
"Awww, how sweet. I love you too."
He smiled.
She smiled at him.
They flung their arms around eachother.
"Now isn't that just lovely?" said Sesshy.
Shippo, Sango, and Miroku came back from running in the field and saw Sesshy looking at Kagome and Inu-Yasha hugging eachother.
"But...but...I THOUGHT THEY'RE RELATIONSHIP WAS WHOLESOMELY PLATONIC!" sqealed Shippo.
"They just confessed their love for each other and I am now a good guy. Care for a cookie?"
". . ."
"Chocolate chip?"
They all grabbed one.
Miroku and Sango started making sweet love. With clothes on, of course. Have to keep this fics clean you know.
Sesshoumaru then said the following.
"Ah, yes. Eat. Eat. These cookies are just another ploy involved in my master plan. You will all soon feel vengeance and hatred for each other, and begin to go stark raving mad! A spell hath been cast on these tasty cookies to cause you all to kill eachother! The love is just a side effect; but you will see, oh, you will ALL see, of how betrayal and distrust can play all of the roles in the search for the shikon jewel shards! Gahahaha, GAHAHA, GAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHA HA HA HAAAAA!!!!!!!"
"Sorry, what was that?" asked Miroku.
"Oh, nothing."
Inu-Yasha got hooked up with Kagome, Miroku with Sango, Sesshy with that dripping blood from heart chick, and Shippo with . . . . . .that . . .flaming. . . cat. . .thing.
And so they all ran to a field and played a merry game of badminton. . . . . . . . . . .with sticks. . . . . and a real, live bird. . . . . . . . that was dead.
Hey it's like the ending to EVERY SINGLE 1800s BRITISH MOVIE EVER MADE (Everyone getting hooked up in the end).
Oh, right, and eventually they all killed eachother. The End! Well, it was ALMOST like an Old British movie. Ever seen Sense and Sensibility? Hugh Laurie and Alan Rickman are so awesome. Nicholas Nickleby...or however you spell it. . .was a good movie too. Charlie Hunham...hunnam . . .HOWEVER HIS LAST NAME IS SPELT. . . would make a really good Link for a Zelda movie. Really good. Check him out.
Yeah.
A familiar figure stood up from behind it.
This figure portrayed an image of enlightenment, yet beheld sheer morbid perplexity. A monument in which emanated a sense of sedate bewilderment. Although this glorious depiction was seen as the epitome of pure evil, it flowingly discharged a certain ethereal glow of continuous profoundness and well-being. Prudent and ambitious as this physical form of essence may have masqueraded itself as, the immense depravity and horror inside was too much for all to hardly conceive. An evil where need and determination could be fulfilled by defilement of innocence. An evil where relatives meant only pitfalls with desperation as no excuse. An evil where murdering became a darkening routine, collecting an elicited proportion of knowing there is always defense, thriving on the death and warped virtues in which will achieve the goals, swollen within the torturing hell which is the self.
"ANYONE WANT SOME COOKIES?"
Inu-Yasha flinched, and gaped oddly at his half brother holding a tray of chocolate chip cookies. Kagome couldn't help but giggle, then shut herself up when she remembered how much damage this tall, handsome demon can bring.
"What? They ARE fresh, if that's what you're thinking."
They stared.
"I have oatmeal too, if you like."
"Sesshoumaru, what the HELL are you doing?"
"Offering you cookies, of course. Oh and I don't go by my full name anymore. Call me Sesshy. Or Sesshy-pie, whatever you like."
Kagome burst out laughing. Inu-Yasha snorted, trying to keep himself from falling over and rolling into a heaving guffaw. I call that snurking. So yeah. Inu-Yasha snurked.
"...Sesshy-pie, what the HELL are you doing?"
"Well, Inu-Yasha. I was eavesdropping and—"
"EAVESEDROPPING?"
"---the love in the air has gotten to me. Everyone I know is falling in love, like you and Kagome, and—"
"EXCUSE ME?" shrieked Kagome.
"Bertha is getting married to Death, and I recently met a very dashing young woman in the 4th hell---you know, the one where they're setting up The Apocalypse next millenium---who has stolen my heart and pinned it to a wall and watched the blood drip down onto the floor in a morbid, horrific mess."
Sesshoumaru gave a long sigh of bliss, looking towards the ground as if in a dream.
"My . . .brother. . .is. . .a complete...sissie."
"Maybe it's genetic."
A grumble.
"So, do you two want some cookies or not?"
Inu-Yasha sniffed. Kagome shrugged and mumbled something about not caring if she would drop dead right now anyway, and took one. She took a bite. Inu- Yasha watched.
". . . Very good, Sesshy."
"Why thank-you. New recipe."
"Mmmm I would think so."
Inu-Yasha took a cookie. Inu-Yasha nibbled on it. Inu-Yasha freaked.
"WHAT THE? SESSHY, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? WHERE'S THE MURDEROUS RAGE BROTHER I USE TO KNOW AND LOVE?"
"He is long gone, my friend. Speaking of murderous rage, you should really do something about your temper."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH---"
"Usually, Inu-Yasha, anger is built up by other emotional issues. Do you think it's time you tell someone about your feelings?"
Sesshoumaru gave Inu-Yasha a soft, uncharacteristic smile. His eyes sparkled and his hair shone. Everything about his presence was still as intense, but in a reputable way. Inu-Yasha blinked.
"Actually yes. Yes there is. Kagome."
The girl blinked.
"What?"
"I love you. I love you quite a bit. In fact I love you so much, I'd treacherously kill someone and form their spilt blood into the shape of a heart on your kitchen floor, just for you.
"Awww, how sweet. I love you too."
He smiled.
She smiled at him.
They flung their arms around eachother.
"Now isn't that just lovely?" said Sesshy.
Shippo, Sango, and Miroku came back from running in the field and saw Sesshy looking at Kagome and Inu-Yasha hugging eachother.
"But...but...I THOUGHT THEY'RE RELATIONSHIP WAS WHOLESOMELY PLATONIC!" sqealed Shippo.
"They just confessed their love for each other and I am now a good guy. Care for a cookie?"
". . ."
"Chocolate chip?"
They all grabbed one.
Miroku and Sango started making sweet love. With clothes on, of course. Have to keep this fics clean you know.
Sesshoumaru then said the following.
"Ah, yes. Eat. Eat. These cookies are just another ploy involved in my master plan. You will all soon feel vengeance and hatred for each other, and begin to go stark raving mad! A spell hath been cast on these tasty cookies to cause you all to kill eachother! The love is just a side effect; but you will see, oh, you will ALL see, of how betrayal and distrust can play all of the roles in the search for the shikon jewel shards! Gahahaha, GAHAHA, GAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHA HA HA HAAAAA!!!!!!!"
"Sorry, what was that?" asked Miroku.
"Oh, nothing."
Inu-Yasha got hooked up with Kagome, Miroku with Sango, Sesshy with that dripping blood from heart chick, and Shippo with . . . . . .that . . .flaming. . . cat. . .thing.
And so they all ran to a field and played a merry game of badminton. . . . . . . . . . .with sticks. . . . . and a real, live bird. . . . . . . . that was dead.
Hey it's like the ending to EVERY SINGLE 1800s BRITISH MOVIE EVER MADE (Everyone getting hooked up in the end).
Oh, right, and eventually they all killed eachother. The End! Well, it was ALMOST like an Old British movie. Ever seen Sense and Sensibility? Hugh Laurie and Alan Rickman are so awesome. Nicholas Nickleby...or however you spell it. . .was a good movie too. Charlie Hunham...hunnam . . .HOWEVER HIS LAST NAME IS SPELT. . . would make a really good Link for a Zelda movie. Really good. Check him out.
Yeah.