Chapter 2: A Surprise Visit
"Now we'll only be gone an hour or two," Uncle Vernon's pudgy face and matching finger looked down overbearingly upon Harry. His breath and mustache were practically tickling Harry's nose and the hair just above his scar. "It's a very important banquet tonight and I will NOT tolerate any funny business from your part while we're gone! You'll be taking care of Dudley while he's sick now. And you will do EVERYTHING in your power to be sure he's comfortable. Whatever he wants you give it to him, or by George boy, I'll make you wish you were only grounded!"
Dudley had only a slight fever and cough, but he had acted as if death had been sitting by his bedside all along. Moaning as if in pain no one could hope to experience, he was playing out every ounce of sympathy he could get from Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia during his sickness, acting so weak that all should mourn for him before it was his time to go peacefully. With even more attention focused on Dudley, Harry was lucky they even recognized him in the hallway.
This had been both a gift and a curse however. He had been left to his own for the most part, free to read any book and do any homework he wanted for his school. On the other hand, when they did realize he was still breathing he was quickly scolded for daring to be alive and pushed away reprovingly at once. He couldn't even hope to near the icebox during Dudley's blight, and he didn't have much food from Mrs. Weasley left.
"And remember boy!" Uncle Vernon turned away only to put his hat correctly on his head and then turned back with an obnoxious finger practically poking him between the eyes. "ANY funny business...." Vernon ran his pudgy finger across his throat and turned away to check himself in the mirror.
"He's only going to ask for ice cream and pudding while you're gone!" Harry bellowed rather quietly. "He's going to be up and playing his games as soon as you leave."
This time Aunt Petunia replied. "You had better not badger my precious Dudley-wumps! He's more responsible than you could even hope to have in your toes and if I hear about anything you've done to make him miserable you can forget about your meals every other day!" As Harry looked up at her he could almost be sure that he saw her long neck twitch and her left eye wince at him with such a stern menace. She stared him down in silence for longer than he felt necessary and then turned towards the mirror to check herself as well.
"Dudley-wumps!" Petunia's voice became a upright and warming once again. "We'll only be gone for a little! You stay in bed and make yourself comfortable! If you need anything you just need to give the word. Okay Duddy-Poo? " He didn't answer for a while, and then whined grotesquely from his room upstairs.
"But Mum! I don't WANT to be left alone in the house with HIM! He's only going to be trouble!"
"Oh don't you worry now tyke," Vernon replied with a yell upstairs. "He won't be a bother... WILL he..." Vernon's squinted face came back at Harry's.
"But MUUUMMM!" Dudley groaned, giving a fake cough for sympathy.
"Be back in a little my precious Dudley-wumps." Before he left, Vernon pointed at Harry one last time with a fiery twinkle in his eyes and closed the door with a click. He had lost patience for this sort of thing since he was a third year at Hogwarts. He had grown tired of the Dursley's badgering on him and Dudley's constant plead for affection by using Harry as an object of his utmost misery, as if Harry's very being was a bane to his existence. But Harry felt quite assured that it was the other way around if anything.
He was very tempted to close himself in his room with complete and utter ignorance to Dudley's plea as he climbed the stairs with a belligerent stomp on each step, the house frozen in silence save for Harry's pounding. After the sound of the Dursley's family car had vanished from down the street, the trouble started.
"GET UP HERE NOW!" Dudley cried out nastily. Harry stopped upon the middle step of the stairs, sighing angrily and twisting his torso in complete annoyance. He was very tempted to just point his wand at Dudley, mutter a few words, and be rid of Dudley's ugly and cracking voice once and for all. He wasn't sure whether it was because Dudley was coming of age or because he had spent so much of the summer screaming about the weather, but Dudley's voice jumped from that of a small girlish boy's to a wavering teenager's.
"God why do I have to do this!" Harry mumbled angrily to himself as Dudley yelled again.
"I said NOW!" His voice cracked into a girl's again. Slowly and with moping anticipation in his step, Harry ascended the stairs until he had came into Dudley's room. Broken toys and clothes where plopped anywhere they fell, the closet door was hanging open with a jumble of belongings piled one on top of the other and it had the distinct smell that could only be Dudley's dirty socks; raunchy and sweaty. Harry was standing in the doorway, afraid to walk any further and rather pondering to himself whether Dudley had had a wood floor or not. He knew his own room had one so it was more than likely that Dudley would have one too but it was hard to tell beneath the mess.
More clothes and old toys that Dudley was much too grown for were hanging off his computer just to Harry's left, and straight across Dudley's expensive entertainment center was half beaten and obviously not cared for. Harry could spot a couple shelves Dudley had broken in his fit of rage at the video games that dare spotted him with "Game Over."
To Harry's diagonal left was a queen sized bed that was fully inhabited by the bulk of Dudley's body, and Dudley himself was sitting on top of his covers with his arms crossed, dressed in a silly pair of white and blue dinosaur pajamas. His voice was no long soft and he no longer seemed on the verge of death as he had been acting for the week.
"What do you want?" Harry groaned in a frustrated voice. Over all the room gave Harry a very stuffy and cramped feeling considering all the clumped up piles of garbage on the floor.
"Make me an ice cream sundae with chocolate fudge, and I want it on a tray and brought to my room right away!" He scowled at Harry. Harry rolled his eyes into his head.
"You're not supposed to have sweets," Harry attempted to explain in a futile voice for he knew that Dudley wouldn't listen.
"I WANT IT NOW!" Dudley screamed at the top of his lungs.
"Fine..." Harry agreed. "Anything else you want?"
"Call me MASTER Dudley." Dudley gave a prideful look to Harry, raising his chin upwards.
"What? I'm not going to call you Master Dudley you.... you..." he had wanted to say gargantuan elephant terd but he restrained. So many things he had wanted to call Dudley since this summer began for Harry.
"What was that?"
"Nothing...." Harry replied.
"'Nothing MASTER DUDLEY!'" Dudley corrected him with a scream.
"Fine... Maser Dudley." Harry mumbled it under his breath.
"SAY IT!"
"MASTER DUDLEY."
"That's better. Now get my ice cream."
Harry slammed the door behind him and walked back downstairs into the kitchen. At least now would be his chance to raid the refrigerator without getting in trouble. He could forsee a grounding coming his way no matter what he did. Whether he took care of Dudley and did whatever he wanted he would still claim that Harry had been nothing but an absolute tyrant to him, so he felt that he had might as well live it up with his own ice cream.
It seemed almost strange to him however as he tried his best to prepare a sundae for his cousin. He had been actually left alone with the Dursley's most beloved son, to take care of him while they left him alone in the house practically. He was making doubles of everything, two bowls, two scoops each, a wallop of peanuts and he had been on the fudge still pondering his situation and almost thinking that this wasn't half bad when Dudley beamed at him again.
"WHAT'S TAKING SO LONG YOU GIT?" Harry sighed, bending over to look in the fridge while searching for the fudge. He had only seen it a few times when Aunt Petunia felt Dudley needed a "reward" so he had known it had been in there. He was never allowed to touch it himself however.
"Almost done Master Dudley." Harry called back. Maybe this wasn't so bad afterall. After finding the chocolate fudge, he brought the dessert up to Dudley's room and served it to him with a polite bow even. If he could keep Dudley quiet Harry thought he might be able to sneak some television even, if he was slick enough. Dudley took a bite of his ice cream however and shook his head.
"You didn't make it right! Do it over!" Harry looked up and shot a glance at him. "What do you mean I didn't make it right? It's just two scoops of ice cream and some..."
"DO IT OVER! Do it different! Make it right this time or I'll tell Mum and Dad that you're doing things half-ass!"
Harry took Dudley's bowl and muttered, "Fine... Master Dudley." He walked down the stairs griping at himself and noting the colorful language Dudley had suddenly picked up when the Dursleys were away. He walked downstairs again, he dumped Dudley's bowl into the garbage, not caring when it melted, and raided the fridge, pretending like he was making another serving. He found a bag of chips he could add to his collection of food upstairs, and some graham crackers, pretzels and some more food he could stow away until his journey back to Hogwarts.
After he felt he had emptied the kitchen of whatever he could use (it wouldn't be like Dudley would be snacking on them for quite some time with his diet) he took his own bowl of ice cream that he prepared exactly along Dudley's and brought it to his cousin. "Here you go," Harry told him as he offered him the serving.
"Here you go WHAT?" Dudley asked him with an almost satisfied look in his eyes.
"Here you go MASTER Dudley." Harry said as Dudley finally took Harry's share of ice cream. Dudley stirred his spoon around in his bowl slowly, as if trying to annoy Harry on purpose and Harry was very sure that was what he was going for. Finally, after his first bite he smiled.
"Now that's much better!" It was amusing as Harry thought, that that particular bowl came out just fine to Dudley despite it being made the exact same way as the other. This was proof to Harry that Dudley was going to be as much of a pain as he could possibly be...
For half an hour after the ice cream bit, Dudley had thought of many random events he could use to torture him. Whether it was being Dudley's own personal remote or maid, Dudley was evidently having as much fun as he had all summer. It was pure torture on Harry, and he even began to miss the days of Dudley's terrible tantrums when the Durlsey's were too busy tending to their spoiled son than to pay attention to Harry doing his homework upstairs.
Finally, after Dudley had found out his favorite TV show had been on, Harry annoyed him enough to have Dudley kick him out of the bedroom, much to Harry's delight. He had wanted nothing more than to get out of there. He wasn't very interested in the TV show anyhow, starring two strangely friendly men dressed in weird and showy outfits that spoke with a voice much like Dudley's own cracking girl voice, except that these men were more than passed puberty.
He passed by a window on his way to use the bathroom. The sky was starless and devoid of moon. The rain trickled downward as evening began to catch her breath and Harry squinted... wondering something in the back of his mind. Was something missing? He couldn't tell. Had he forgotten something? Only dead silence seemed to asnwer his mind back, and Dudley's horrendous girl and growing boy laughter screeched through his thoughts like fingernails upon a chalk board. The young wizard thought that homework would be much more comfortable provided that he could lock his room.
As he entered his room he was very much surprised to see a handful of different owls waiting for him at his open window. Hedwig was fluttering around crazily in her cage at the sight of the company. Whoever it was that had sent the owls, Harry couldn't care less; he was more than happy to receive news from a world other than the Dursley's house.
He came upon the first owl on his desk, a giant brown colored, shaggy owl that Harry hardly recognized. It was as big as Hedwig's cage and much wider and it bewildered Harry to wonder who had sent such a giant creature but as soon as he received the package from the owls leg, it made plenty of sense.
Hagrid had sent Harry a box filled of Chocolate treats in Quidditch themed shapes along with a happy birthday letter that was barely comprehendible given Hagrid's poor spelling.
Deer Harry
Ben lukin fowad to seeing you al sumer now. Hav a big set of Qeuzacotis Reboarus chiks that Dumbledor seid I coud hav to teech you al
wif. Frendly things they are, and reel cute. I bet you and the others wil
love them.
Hagrid
"Quezacotis Reboarus?" Harry muttered to himself. He was almost afraid to ask, but he would question Hermione as soon as he could. He was sure she would know what Hagrid was getting them into this year. Perhaps he would look it up in his Monster Book of Monsters later but until then he wrote Hagrid a thank you letter and sent the giant owl off with it.
Afterwards he spotted what he recognized as Hermione's owl, a caramel colored bird that was busy keeping Hedwig company at her cage, the pair of them cooing happily at each other with much interest. "Okay now, I know you're happy to have company." Harry told Hedwig as he extracted Hermione's birthday present from the caramel colored owl. "I'm happy for company too."
Owls were hooting softly all over his room, almost loud enough for Dudley to hear if he hadn't had his television on so loud, but even if Dudley did hear, Harry didn't care. He was too happy from hearing news from his true home.
He unwrapped her gift in a hurry before Dudley grew tired of his television and came to bug him. Beneath her colorful wrapping paper was a black box with the words Vanderkamp written on it with gold letters. It was reminiscent of a box that Uncle Vernon gave a necklace in to his Aunt Petunia. The inside was lined with red velvet and nested perfectly inside was his gift. Hermione had sent him a delightful pen type creation that was a beautiful, deep, glossy green with golden letters embedded into it that said "Vanderkamp Exaro." Including in the box was a note that stated:
Thankyou for purchasing from Vanderkamp Creations, the
magicking world's source for fine quality quills and fountian
pens like no other.
We appreciate your purchase of the Exaro pen and hope
that you will enjoy your Vanderkamp quill immensely.
To begin your Exaro experience simply say the word
Exaro and be amazed!
"Hmm..." Harry thought to himself as he read Hermione's birthday card.
Happy Birthday Harry! I've been having a great summer. Sorry I haven't
been writing lately. I've been awfully busy with my summer homework.
Have you finished Snape's list of potions? Be careful when mixing the
Purple Wortmoid with the Skrewt Tails, it'll make a very large popping
noise, so you may want to wait on mixing that.
~Hope you are having a great summer
Hermione.
Harry smiled to himself and quickly spotted another owl he recognized as a school bird. He pondered who from Hogwarts other than Hagrid would have sent him a letter and he quickly took the lone package. It was a rectangle box wrapped in the shiny blue wrapping paper with clouds and stars elegantly drawn on. As Harry looked closer he noticed that the stars were twinkling ever so slight and the clouds were changing shapes, though rather slowly yet realistically.
Staring into the depth he had a deep feeling of adventure and felt whole, as if he had been riding a magick carpet across the sky as the wrapping paper's picture seemed to grow deeper and pull him in. It was a wonderful effect. So wonderful that Harry tried his best not to rip it and carefully laid it down by the side of the box before he opened it. The box was completely opposite from the paper, a plain brown one and even a little battered. Harry opened the end curiously and out dropped a single piece of paper that had written on it, "See you soon Harry. Happy birthday. -Albus Dumbledore."
Harry felt himself surprised, his eyebrows lifting across his face. Dumbledore had sent him a gift? Harry's mind strained to think of what curious thing Dumbledore could have possibly sent, wondering whether it was a mystical and rare item of lore buried somewhere in the back of Dumbeldore's fanciful office back at Hogwarts, or perhaps a vital book of information.
He reached his hands into the box, feeling a familiar material that gave beneath his touch and pulled out what looked to be a... pair of rubber gloves? Dumbeldore had sent him rubber gloves? They were that uniform yellow associated with rubber gloves, but had strange metal cuffs at their very ends. His mind stumbled over its thoughts in question as to what Dumbeldore could possibly have in mind for these. But Dumbeldore was very wise and Harry was very sure that the headmaster of Hogwarts had his reasons, very strong and clear. He just had to wait to get to school to ask him. He wrote Dumbledore a thank you letter, sent it off with the school owl, and wondered if Dumbledore would get it.
He went onto the next and final gift, which was from the Weasley's. Pigwidgeon was attempting to walk across Harry's desk, stumbling over its own talons every step of the way. The Weasley's owl was notorious for being rather clutzy at times, that or extremely hyper. Harry took the bundle of packages and unwrapped them all.
Mrs. Weasley had sent him another loaf of Berry Bread along with a case of homemade butterbeer, and a piece of tasty chcolate cake with a single candle on it. As soon as he took out the cake and eyed it in enjoyment, the candle lit ablaze by itself and glowed with a green flame. Out of it came a familiar voice.
"Happy Birthday Harry!" The many voice of the Weasleys were now in Harry's room, though where Harry could not pinpoint. Mrs. Weasley's caring voice was spoken into his ears.
"Happy Birthday Harry," she repeated. "Ron had told me how you hardly ever get cake for your birthday so we decided to send you some this year, all just for you! I knitted you a very warm pair of socks for you this year to keep you warm and dry. I heard it has been raining there all summer and thought you could use them."
Harry would never be allowed to even speak about being outside, the Dursley's were too afraid that the neighbors would see that he existed, but Harry was thankful all the same. The speech continued, only this time it was Ron's voice speaking from the candle.
"Hey Harry! I couldn't get much this year, but Bill managed to help me spot som money for a Chudley Cannon mug I thought you'd like. If you touch the snitch the mug will show you a Quidditch scene. It's very interesting. I think it plays ten different scenes but I don't know. I pressed on it quite a couple of times myself before wrapping it. I think it holds twice as much as it looks too."
"Anyways Harry. We have another surprise that will be arriving soon and we hope you'll like it. Just do me one favor and be sure that have all your things packed and ready to go as quickly as you can get them. Thanks... Ron."
The green flame flickered after Ron's last words, and went out. Harry stared at it for a while, then opened the second package that came with Pigwidgeon that night. Sure enough was the mug Ron had mentioned, a giant brown scultpure-like piece with a large handle that reminded Harry much of a stein. Images of Quidditch players in Chudley Cannon colors were painted on it with bludgers and a quaffle painted in random locations. The snitch however was an embedded gold ball that glittered in the light. Harry reached out to touch it, unsure if that would make it work but it seemed to had done just fine as the cup suddenly lit up with with the painted figures in Chudley Cannon robes suddenly flying across the mug like a cartoon. Harry smiled whole-heartedly and put the mug down by his new Exaro pen, Quidditch chocolates, and mysterious rubber gloves from Dumbledore. He hastily wrote his thankyou letter and sent off Pigwidgeon. Hedwig hooted miserably as the final owl departed. Harry put his fingers to the cage and she nipped them happily.
"Don't worry Hedwig... we'll be gone soon and you'll be able to fly as much as you want." She seemed pleased with this as she ruffled her feathers for a second and put them back with a rather peppy snap.
Harry wasted no time, packing up everything he needed for Hogwarts into his trunk as Hedwig bounced happily, pleased to see Harry's luggage for she knew that that meant freedom was coming soon. Harry only felt too much the same. As he was picking up his cauldron, pestle and mortar that he had been using for Snape's assignment, he suddenly heard the floorboards just beyond his door creak, and then heard the door open. He had forgotten to lock it and was scowling himself mentally as he turned around and saw exactly what he had expected.
Dudley was standing there in his funny dinosaur pajamas and goofy slippers that were decorated with sloppy dog faces and ears attached. He looked suspiciously at Harry.
"I know what YOUR doing." He boasted to Harry. "YOU'RE packing for stupid school! I see the trunk!"
Hedwig hooted angrily at Dudley and Harry felt more than annoyed. "Yes, I suppose you're right Dudley. You must be getting smarter. I bet you can outsmart a stray mutt from the streets now, you're growing so fast. You're even starting to get your woman voice in." Harry barked at Dudley, who had only turned too red at Harry's retort. He hadn't fully meant to insult Dudley, trying not to start too much trouble with the Dursley's, but he would almost guarantee that Dudley would start it for him anyhow, so Harry would try live it up.
"What did you say, you nit-wit?" It was awful funny that Dudley would call him the nit-wit when it was Dudley who had to ask Harry to repeat what he said.
"Just go back to bed Dudley."
Now Dudley had turned real red at Harry's gall to give him orders. His fat cousin stepped in the room with a very displeased look.
"No! I think I'll put you in your place first. You're not supposed to be touching your stupid magick stuff and you know it! I'm telling Dad!"
Harry thought to himself for a second. Maybe it hadn't been such a good idea to tell Dudley off, but after the week of his griping and groaning Harry had gotten very tired of serving his cousin like an egyptian king.
"I'll be going away soon Dudley. You should be happy, they'll be paying more attention to you." Harry tried reasoning calmly with Dudley, although he was loosing his patience and loosing it quickly. But Dudley wasn't going to listen, he had been too angry with Harry's insult to care what Harry had said.
"I don't think you should go back! I think you should be locked in a cellar you freak! You and your stupid things!" Dudley reached out with his fat fingers to grab the new mug Harry had laid carefully in his trunk and reached it into the air with an obvious intention to break it, the glittering gold snitch shining from above his fat head.
Harry quickly grabbed his mortar which had been plumped filled with Stargrape and Jagweed, and just as quickly as he grabbed he picked up a handful of small sea serpent scales and pushed them into the mortar. The steam came out heavier than the last time he mixed the Jagweed and scales, possibly due to the Stargrape. What the three would actually do Harry had no idea but either he and Dudley would find out or Dudley would back off quickly.
"See the steam!" Harry yelled threateningly. "I'll make a terrible curse with it if you don't put it down! I'll make your tongue grow ten times as big as before and make you barf slugs with it if you don't put it down!" The steam was still pouring out as thick as it had begun. Dudley stopped in surprise, even though he had fully known Harry was not allowed to do magick outside of school ever since his accident with Dobby the house elf before his second year. But still, Dudley had paused.
"You're bloody stupid you bastard," Dudley told Harry. "You're bluffing!" He had lowered the mug to his fat stomach when Harry grabbed his mortar, but was slowly lifting it again.
Harry was holding the mortar by the tip, showing off the steaming contents to his cousin and moving surely with his face lowered in determination. He had to find a way to show Dudley. From the corner of his eye he picked out the bag with of deformed purple shapes labeled "Wormtoids" and started pouring the bag inside the mortar. The contents hissed.
"Am I?" Harry asked him. Dudley raised the mug again and a bolt of anger shot through Harry. If only he could use his wand outside of Hogwarts, he could do so many pleasing things to Dudley. He thought about giving Dudley a fat womanly body to match his girlish cracking voice and again from the corner of his eye grabbed another bag of what appeared to be dried and crumpled cut worms but the word "Skrewts" was written on them. He lifted the plastic baggy into his left hand and positiong his fingers to where he could push the ingredients out.
"I'll do it Dudley, if you don't put it down!" Dudley stared him down in a deadly duel of eyes. They watched each other eagerly, and Dudley began lifting the mug again until Harry quickly threw a Skrewt Tail in with the Purple Wormtoids . A small pop was enlisted, echoing through the house like a firecracker. "Put it down Dudley!" Harry wanted to call him a fat pig. He wanted to tell Dudley he was a fat man-cow and he had been ever since Harry could remember but he was trying not to anger Dudley any further for he would be too stupid to figure out Harry's warnings if he did.
Dudley's eyes were bulging now, and he was shaking silently, though he was trying to hide it. That meant that Harry had had him scared. His bluff was working. Even if he did receive another warning for using magick, he could quickly explain that it was for his homework and blame it all on Snape. Harry motioned to toss another Skrewt Tail into the mortar but Dudley jumped and lightly began putting it down, the mug hovering above the trunk of clothes but still not out of Dudley's grasp.
"You'd never..." Dudley began, but Harry had heard enough. He threw another Skrewt Tail into it, this time much more popping ensued and steam poured forth and Harry began waving his hand over the mortar and loudly reciting a false incantation.
"Abra-kadabra hocus pocus..." A VERY large and VERY sturdy pop banged through the house so fiercly that even Harry jumped, feeling it vibrate through his chest and by then Dudley finally dropped the mug safely into Harry's trunk ontop of the socks Mrs. Weasley knitted for him, and the ordeal had been over (save for a steaming and slightly boiling mixture that he had created by mistake). But then he heard the door open dowstairs. Harry all ready knew that the Dursley's were home.
"Oh Dudley pumpkin? Mama's home!" Petunia's voice sounded from the hallway downstairs.
"So much for Master Dudley-wumps," Harry murmered to himself as Dudley cried bloody murder to his parents. Harry sighed, knowing what this would mean, and started to pack up the rest of his things, pouring the steaming mixture onto the hallway floor without a care.
After finally calming the wailing Dudley down (not to forget that he was adding quite a few fake coughing fits for added effect), Harry had all ready had everything neatly packed up and ready to go just in time for Uncle Vernon to angrily screech to Harry from downstairs.
"HARRY POTTER!" His voice sounded throughout the house. Harry sighed and and walked halfway down the stairs just to where he could spot Vernon's fat visage. He was as red in the face as Dudley had been when girls were mentioned to him. Vernon took a deep breath and began to scream.
"YOU INSOLENT, WORTHLESS, IRRESPECTABLE, DELINQUENT LITTLE TWIT. BY MY WORTH YOU JUST BETTER WAIT TILL I GET UP THERE, I'LL MAKE YOU SO SORRY THEY WON'T HAVE TIME TO SEND YOU A BLASTED LETTER TO TELL YOU TO STOP..." Uncle Vernon had begun to put his fat foot on the foot step when the doorbell rang a total of five quick and ancy times in a row.
"WHAT THE BLOODY..." Vernon said to himself, the doorbell going off again another five times. He turned towards the door then back at Harry. "You just wait till I get at you!" He went to answer the door as Harry stood frozen on his spot, as angry as he had ever been since his third year when he bursted from the house in rage.
From behind Vernon's pudgy figure came two voices. "Hello sir! How would you like to try the world's greatest danish cakes?"
Vernon answered angrily. "We don't want any," he growled from beneath his mustache, but the pair of people standing in the doorway insisted.
"Course ya' do mate! Why, we've got the best desserts in the world! If you would only mind letting us through." They pushed their way past Uncle Vernon, one on either side much to Vernon's dismay.
"Now WAIT just a minute..."
"...Whilst we explain our selection!" Answered one pushy salesman for him.
"Great," Harry muttered to himself. It had been bad enough Uncle Vernon was going to probably murder him, and now two solicitors were coming in and badgering him, making it undoubtedly worse. He had yet to see who intruded as they moved into the living room. Dudley (who suddenly recovered from his "horrible death threat" at the thought of sweets) was all ready exclaiming what baked goods he wanted. "I want this chocolate one Mum! I want that one!"
Harry sighed, mumbling to himself, then spotted someone familiar in the doorway as Vernon left. The stranger was poking and prodding at the doorbell button with much intent and interest. "Mr. Weasley?" Harry said to himself in such surprise. Arthur Weasley had been too fascinated by the doorbell to notice Harry waving at him from the staircase. Mr. Weasley had an obsession with Muggle inventions. But it didn't matter because if Mr. Weasley was here then surely...
Ron popped his head in the doorway while Fred and George, who had posed as the salesmen, twisted in random directions around Uncle Vernon and Dudley, the twins keeping them more than busy to notice the Weasley gang showing up. Ron smiled happily as he walked in, followed by Bill Weasley and Mrs. Weasley right behind. They all gave a warming smile and a hand shake as they helped Harry get his things into the Weasley's enchanted car. This went on as Fred and George fast-talked the Dursley's.
"These little custard pies are SURE to make your yellow feathers rustle in joy if you would just..."
"But just wait a darn minute!" Uncle Vernon shouted furiously, not bothering to notice Ron and Bill carrying Harry's trunk downstairs. Hedwig was hooting insultingly at Uncle Vernon's back from atop the luggage. Harry was packed into the car quickly enough, Mrs. Weasley adjusting his overlarge sweater on his skinny body and squeezing his cheeks with motherly affection as she asked him how his summer had been.
Before long, Fred and George had closed the door to the Durlsey's house, looking very smug and satisfied indeed, and Mrs. Weasley was ordering Bill to pry his father away from the Muggle doorbell. They were all in the car now, Mr. Weasley going on about the fascinating button he had saw, and Ron asking Fred and George questions.
"Psst... Fred.... FRED!" Fred, who was crammed in the back seat with George, Harry, and Ron, looked towards him.
"Did you really sell them..."
Fred and George looked at each and smirked. "Well..." no sooner had they answered did Mrs. Weasley turn around from the front seat and bark at them.
"Fred and George Weasley! You had better NOT have given them your Pigglewiggle Brownies!"
George frowned at his mother's scornful look. "But mom... I think he'll look better with pig ears! They'll suit him..."
She looked at him reprovingly, but apparently agreed for she said nothing more and turned around. Ron snickered and chuckled beside Harry. "Pig ears? Won't you get in trouble with..."
"Don't worry," Harry said as he watched Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia run out from their house on Privet Drive from the back window, Vernon balling his fists and screaming in the air at Harry. Harry waved merrily back with a smile and said, "Dudley's been turned into a pig before... sort of." He was referring to when Hagrid gave him a pigtail. With that, they were off.
"Now we'll only be gone an hour or two," Uncle Vernon's pudgy face and matching finger looked down overbearingly upon Harry. His breath and mustache were practically tickling Harry's nose and the hair just above his scar. "It's a very important banquet tonight and I will NOT tolerate any funny business from your part while we're gone! You'll be taking care of Dudley while he's sick now. And you will do EVERYTHING in your power to be sure he's comfortable. Whatever he wants you give it to him, or by George boy, I'll make you wish you were only grounded!"
Dudley had only a slight fever and cough, but he had acted as if death had been sitting by his bedside all along. Moaning as if in pain no one could hope to experience, he was playing out every ounce of sympathy he could get from Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia during his sickness, acting so weak that all should mourn for him before it was his time to go peacefully. With even more attention focused on Dudley, Harry was lucky they even recognized him in the hallway.
This had been both a gift and a curse however. He had been left to his own for the most part, free to read any book and do any homework he wanted for his school. On the other hand, when they did realize he was still breathing he was quickly scolded for daring to be alive and pushed away reprovingly at once. He couldn't even hope to near the icebox during Dudley's blight, and he didn't have much food from Mrs. Weasley left.
"And remember boy!" Uncle Vernon turned away only to put his hat correctly on his head and then turned back with an obnoxious finger practically poking him between the eyes. "ANY funny business...." Vernon ran his pudgy finger across his throat and turned away to check himself in the mirror.
"He's only going to ask for ice cream and pudding while you're gone!" Harry bellowed rather quietly. "He's going to be up and playing his games as soon as you leave."
This time Aunt Petunia replied. "You had better not badger my precious Dudley-wumps! He's more responsible than you could even hope to have in your toes and if I hear about anything you've done to make him miserable you can forget about your meals every other day!" As Harry looked up at her he could almost be sure that he saw her long neck twitch and her left eye wince at him with such a stern menace. She stared him down in silence for longer than he felt necessary and then turned towards the mirror to check herself as well.
"Dudley-wumps!" Petunia's voice became a upright and warming once again. "We'll only be gone for a little! You stay in bed and make yourself comfortable! If you need anything you just need to give the word. Okay Duddy-Poo? " He didn't answer for a while, and then whined grotesquely from his room upstairs.
"But Mum! I don't WANT to be left alone in the house with HIM! He's only going to be trouble!"
"Oh don't you worry now tyke," Vernon replied with a yell upstairs. "He won't be a bother... WILL he..." Vernon's squinted face came back at Harry's.
"But MUUUMMM!" Dudley groaned, giving a fake cough for sympathy.
"Be back in a little my precious Dudley-wumps." Before he left, Vernon pointed at Harry one last time with a fiery twinkle in his eyes and closed the door with a click. He had lost patience for this sort of thing since he was a third year at Hogwarts. He had grown tired of the Dursley's badgering on him and Dudley's constant plead for affection by using Harry as an object of his utmost misery, as if Harry's very being was a bane to his existence. But Harry felt quite assured that it was the other way around if anything.
He was very tempted to close himself in his room with complete and utter ignorance to Dudley's plea as he climbed the stairs with a belligerent stomp on each step, the house frozen in silence save for Harry's pounding. After the sound of the Dursley's family car had vanished from down the street, the trouble started.
"GET UP HERE NOW!" Dudley cried out nastily. Harry stopped upon the middle step of the stairs, sighing angrily and twisting his torso in complete annoyance. He was very tempted to just point his wand at Dudley, mutter a few words, and be rid of Dudley's ugly and cracking voice once and for all. He wasn't sure whether it was because Dudley was coming of age or because he had spent so much of the summer screaming about the weather, but Dudley's voice jumped from that of a small girlish boy's to a wavering teenager's.
"God why do I have to do this!" Harry mumbled angrily to himself as Dudley yelled again.
"I said NOW!" His voice cracked into a girl's again. Slowly and with moping anticipation in his step, Harry ascended the stairs until he had came into Dudley's room. Broken toys and clothes where plopped anywhere they fell, the closet door was hanging open with a jumble of belongings piled one on top of the other and it had the distinct smell that could only be Dudley's dirty socks; raunchy and sweaty. Harry was standing in the doorway, afraid to walk any further and rather pondering to himself whether Dudley had had a wood floor or not. He knew his own room had one so it was more than likely that Dudley would have one too but it was hard to tell beneath the mess.
More clothes and old toys that Dudley was much too grown for were hanging off his computer just to Harry's left, and straight across Dudley's expensive entertainment center was half beaten and obviously not cared for. Harry could spot a couple shelves Dudley had broken in his fit of rage at the video games that dare spotted him with "Game Over."
To Harry's diagonal left was a queen sized bed that was fully inhabited by the bulk of Dudley's body, and Dudley himself was sitting on top of his covers with his arms crossed, dressed in a silly pair of white and blue dinosaur pajamas. His voice was no long soft and he no longer seemed on the verge of death as he had been acting for the week.
"What do you want?" Harry groaned in a frustrated voice. Over all the room gave Harry a very stuffy and cramped feeling considering all the clumped up piles of garbage on the floor.
"Make me an ice cream sundae with chocolate fudge, and I want it on a tray and brought to my room right away!" He scowled at Harry. Harry rolled his eyes into his head.
"You're not supposed to have sweets," Harry attempted to explain in a futile voice for he knew that Dudley wouldn't listen.
"I WANT IT NOW!" Dudley screamed at the top of his lungs.
"Fine..." Harry agreed. "Anything else you want?"
"Call me MASTER Dudley." Dudley gave a prideful look to Harry, raising his chin upwards.
"What? I'm not going to call you Master Dudley you.... you..." he had wanted to say gargantuan elephant terd but he restrained. So many things he had wanted to call Dudley since this summer began for Harry.
"What was that?"
"Nothing...." Harry replied.
"'Nothing MASTER DUDLEY!'" Dudley corrected him with a scream.
"Fine... Maser Dudley." Harry mumbled it under his breath.
"SAY IT!"
"MASTER DUDLEY."
"That's better. Now get my ice cream."
Harry slammed the door behind him and walked back downstairs into the kitchen. At least now would be his chance to raid the refrigerator without getting in trouble. He could forsee a grounding coming his way no matter what he did. Whether he took care of Dudley and did whatever he wanted he would still claim that Harry had been nothing but an absolute tyrant to him, so he felt that he had might as well live it up with his own ice cream.
It seemed almost strange to him however as he tried his best to prepare a sundae for his cousin. He had been actually left alone with the Dursley's most beloved son, to take care of him while they left him alone in the house practically. He was making doubles of everything, two bowls, two scoops each, a wallop of peanuts and he had been on the fudge still pondering his situation and almost thinking that this wasn't half bad when Dudley beamed at him again.
"WHAT'S TAKING SO LONG YOU GIT?" Harry sighed, bending over to look in the fridge while searching for the fudge. He had only seen it a few times when Aunt Petunia felt Dudley needed a "reward" so he had known it had been in there. He was never allowed to touch it himself however.
"Almost done Master Dudley." Harry called back. Maybe this wasn't so bad afterall. After finding the chocolate fudge, he brought the dessert up to Dudley's room and served it to him with a polite bow even. If he could keep Dudley quiet Harry thought he might be able to sneak some television even, if he was slick enough. Dudley took a bite of his ice cream however and shook his head.
"You didn't make it right! Do it over!" Harry looked up and shot a glance at him. "What do you mean I didn't make it right? It's just two scoops of ice cream and some..."
"DO IT OVER! Do it different! Make it right this time or I'll tell Mum and Dad that you're doing things half-ass!"
Harry took Dudley's bowl and muttered, "Fine... Master Dudley." He walked down the stairs griping at himself and noting the colorful language Dudley had suddenly picked up when the Dursleys were away. He walked downstairs again, he dumped Dudley's bowl into the garbage, not caring when it melted, and raided the fridge, pretending like he was making another serving. He found a bag of chips he could add to his collection of food upstairs, and some graham crackers, pretzels and some more food he could stow away until his journey back to Hogwarts.
After he felt he had emptied the kitchen of whatever he could use (it wouldn't be like Dudley would be snacking on them for quite some time with his diet) he took his own bowl of ice cream that he prepared exactly along Dudley's and brought it to his cousin. "Here you go," Harry told him as he offered him the serving.
"Here you go WHAT?" Dudley asked him with an almost satisfied look in his eyes.
"Here you go MASTER Dudley." Harry said as Dudley finally took Harry's share of ice cream. Dudley stirred his spoon around in his bowl slowly, as if trying to annoy Harry on purpose and Harry was very sure that was what he was going for. Finally, after his first bite he smiled.
"Now that's much better!" It was amusing as Harry thought, that that particular bowl came out just fine to Dudley despite it being made the exact same way as the other. This was proof to Harry that Dudley was going to be as much of a pain as he could possibly be...
For half an hour after the ice cream bit, Dudley had thought of many random events he could use to torture him. Whether it was being Dudley's own personal remote or maid, Dudley was evidently having as much fun as he had all summer. It was pure torture on Harry, and he even began to miss the days of Dudley's terrible tantrums when the Durlsey's were too busy tending to their spoiled son than to pay attention to Harry doing his homework upstairs.
Finally, after Dudley had found out his favorite TV show had been on, Harry annoyed him enough to have Dudley kick him out of the bedroom, much to Harry's delight. He had wanted nothing more than to get out of there. He wasn't very interested in the TV show anyhow, starring two strangely friendly men dressed in weird and showy outfits that spoke with a voice much like Dudley's own cracking girl voice, except that these men were more than passed puberty.
He passed by a window on his way to use the bathroom. The sky was starless and devoid of moon. The rain trickled downward as evening began to catch her breath and Harry squinted... wondering something in the back of his mind. Was something missing? He couldn't tell. Had he forgotten something? Only dead silence seemed to asnwer his mind back, and Dudley's horrendous girl and growing boy laughter screeched through his thoughts like fingernails upon a chalk board. The young wizard thought that homework would be much more comfortable provided that he could lock his room.
As he entered his room he was very much surprised to see a handful of different owls waiting for him at his open window. Hedwig was fluttering around crazily in her cage at the sight of the company. Whoever it was that had sent the owls, Harry couldn't care less; he was more than happy to receive news from a world other than the Dursley's house.
He came upon the first owl on his desk, a giant brown colored, shaggy owl that Harry hardly recognized. It was as big as Hedwig's cage and much wider and it bewildered Harry to wonder who had sent such a giant creature but as soon as he received the package from the owls leg, it made plenty of sense.
Hagrid had sent Harry a box filled of Chocolate treats in Quidditch themed shapes along with a happy birthday letter that was barely comprehendible given Hagrid's poor spelling.
Deer Harry
Ben lukin fowad to seeing you al sumer now. Hav a big set of Qeuzacotis Reboarus chiks that Dumbledor seid I coud hav to teech you al
wif. Frendly things they are, and reel cute. I bet you and the others wil
love them.
Hagrid
"Quezacotis Reboarus?" Harry muttered to himself. He was almost afraid to ask, but he would question Hermione as soon as he could. He was sure she would know what Hagrid was getting them into this year. Perhaps he would look it up in his Monster Book of Monsters later but until then he wrote Hagrid a thank you letter and sent the giant owl off with it.
Afterwards he spotted what he recognized as Hermione's owl, a caramel colored bird that was busy keeping Hedwig company at her cage, the pair of them cooing happily at each other with much interest. "Okay now, I know you're happy to have company." Harry told Hedwig as he extracted Hermione's birthday present from the caramel colored owl. "I'm happy for company too."
Owls were hooting softly all over his room, almost loud enough for Dudley to hear if he hadn't had his television on so loud, but even if Dudley did hear, Harry didn't care. He was too happy from hearing news from his true home.
He unwrapped her gift in a hurry before Dudley grew tired of his television and came to bug him. Beneath her colorful wrapping paper was a black box with the words Vanderkamp written on it with gold letters. It was reminiscent of a box that Uncle Vernon gave a necklace in to his Aunt Petunia. The inside was lined with red velvet and nested perfectly inside was his gift. Hermione had sent him a delightful pen type creation that was a beautiful, deep, glossy green with golden letters embedded into it that said "Vanderkamp Exaro." Including in the box was a note that stated:
Thankyou for purchasing from Vanderkamp Creations, the
magicking world's source for fine quality quills and fountian
pens like no other.
We appreciate your purchase of the Exaro pen and hope
that you will enjoy your Vanderkamp quill immensely.
To begin your Exaro experience simply say the word
Exaro and be amazed!
"Hmm..." Harry thought to himself as he read Hermione's birthday card.
Happy Birthday Harry! I've been having a great summer. Sorry I haven't
been writing lately. I've been awfully busy with my summer homework.
Have you finished Snape's list of potions? Be careful when mixing the
Purple Wortmoid with the Skrewt Tails, it'll make a very large popping
noise, so you may want to wait on mixing that.
~Hope you are having a great summer
Hermione.
Harry smiled to himself and quickly spotted another owl he recognized as a school bird. He pondered who from Hogwarts other than Hagrid would have sent him a letter and he quickly took the lone package. It was a rectangle box wrapped in the shiny blue wrapping paper with clouds and stars elegantly drawn on. As Harry looked closer he noticed that the stars were twinkling ever so slight and the clouds were changing shapes, though rather slowly yet realistically.
Staring into the depth he had a deep feeling of adventure and felt whole, as if he had been riding a magick carpet across the sky as the wrapping paper's picture seemed to grow deeper and pull him in. It was a wonderful effect. So wonderful that Harry tried his best not to rip it and carefully laid it down by the side of the box before he opened it. The box was completely opposite from the paper, a plain brown one and even a little battered. Harry opened the end curiously and out dropped a single piece of paper that had written on it, "See you soon Harry. Happy birthday. -Albus Dumbledore."
Harry felt himself surprised, his eyebrows lifting across his face. Dumbledore had sent him a gift? Harry's mind strained to think of what curious thing Dumbledore could have possibly sent, wondering whether it was a mystical and rare item of lore buried somewhere in the back of Dumbeldore's fanciful office back at Hogwarts, or perhaps a vital book of information.
He reached his hands into the box, feeling a familiar material that gave beneath his touch and pulled out what looked to be a... pair of rubber gloves? Dumbeldore had sent him rubber gloves? They were that uniform yellow associated with rubber gloves, but had strange metal cuffs at their very ends. His mind stumbled over its thoughts in question as to what Dumbeldore could possibly have in mind for these. But Dumbeldore was very wise and Harry was very sure that the headmaster of Hogwarts had his reasons, very strong and clear. He just had to wait to get to school to ask him. He wrote Dumbledore a thank you letter, sent it off with the school owl, and wondered if Dumbledore would get it.
He went onto the next and final gift, which was from the Weasley's. Pigwidgeon was attempting to walk across Harry's desk, stumbling over its own talons every step of the way. The Weasley's owl was notorious for being rather clutzy at times, that or extremely hyper. Harry took the bundle of packages and unwrapped them all.
Mrs. Weasley had sent him another loaf of Berry Bread along with a case of homemade butterbeer, and a piece of tasty chcolate cake with a single candle on it. As soon as he took out the cake and eyed it in enjoyment, the candle lit ablaze by itself and glowed with a green flame. Out of it came a familiar voice.
"Happy Birthday Harry!" The many voice of the Weasleys were now in Harry's room, though where Harry could not pinpoint. Mrs. Weasley's caring voice was spoken into his ears.
"Happy Birthday Harry," she repeated. "Ron had told me how you hardly ever get cake for your birthday so we decided to send you some this year, all just for you! I knitted you a very warm pair of socks for you this year to keep you warm and dry. I heard it has been raining there all summer and thought you could use them."
Harry would never be allowed to even speak about being outside, the Dursley's were too afraid that the neighbors would see that he existed, but Harry was thankful all the same. The speech continued, only this time it was Ron's voice speaking from the candle.
"Hey Harry! I couldn't get much this year, but Bill managed to help me spot som money for a Chudley Cannon mug I thought you'd like. If you touch the snitch the mug will show you a Quidditch scene. It's very interesting. I think it plays ten different scenes but I don't know. I pressed on it quite a couple of times myself before wrapping it. I think it holds twice as much as it looks too."
"Anyways Harry. We have another surprise that will be arriving soon and we hope you'll like it. Just do me one favor and be sure that have all your things packed and ready to go as quickly as you can get them. Thanks... Ron."
The green flame flickered after Ron's last words, and went out. Harry stared at it for a while, then opened the second package that came with Pigwidgeon that night. Sure enough was the mug Ron had mentioned, a giant brown scultpure-like piece with a large handle that reminded Harry much of a stein. Images of Quidditch players in Chudley Cannon colors were painted on it with bludgers and a quaffle painted in random locations. The snitch however was an embedded gold ball that glittered in the light. Harry reached out to touch it, unsure if that would make it work but it seemed to had done just fine as the cup suddenly lit up with with the painted figures in Chudley Cannon robes suddenly flying across the mug like a cartoon. Harry smiled whole-heartedly and put the mug down by his new Exaro pen, Quidditch chocolates, and mysterious rubber gloves from Dumbledore. He hastily wrote his thankyou letter and sent off Pigwidgeon. Hedwig hooted miserably as the final owl departed. Harry put his fingers to the cage and she nipped them happily.
"Don't worry Hedwig... we'll be gone soon and you'll be able to fly as much as you want." She seemed pleased with this as she ruffled her feathers for a second and put them back with a rather peppy snap.
Harry wasted no time, packing up everything he needed for Hogwarts into his trunk as Hedwig bounced happily, pleased to see Harry's luggage for she knew that that meant freedom was coming soon. Harry only felt too much the same. As he was picking up his cauldron, pestle and mortar that he had been using for Snape's assignment, he suddenly heard the floorboards just beyond his door creak, and then heard the door open. He had forgotten to lock it and was scowling himself mentally as he turned around and saw exactly what he had expected.
Dudley was standing there in his funny dinosaur pajamas and goofy slippers that were decorated with sloppy dog faces and ears attached. He looked suspiciously at Harry.
"I know what YOUR doing." He boasted to Harry. "YOU'RE packing for stupid school! I see the trunk!"
Hedwig hooted angrily at Dudley and Harry felt more than annoyed. "Yes, I suppose you're right Dudley. You must be getting smarter. I bet you can outsmart a stray mutt from the streets now, you're growing so fast. You're even starting to get your woman voice in." Harry barked at Dudley, who had only turned too red at Harry's retort. He hadn't fully meant to insult Dudley, trying not to start too much trouble with the Dursley's, but he would almost guarantee that Dudley would start it for him anyhow, so Harry would try live it up.
"What did you say, you nit-wit?" It was awful funny that Dudley would call him the nit-wit when it was Dudley who had to ask Harry to repeat what he said.
"Just go back to bed Dudley."
Now Dudley had turned real red at Harry's gall to give him orders. His fat cousin stepped in the room with a very displeased look.
"No! I think I'll put you in your place first. You're not supposed to be touching your stupid magick stuff and you know it! I'm telling Dad!"
Harry thought to himself for a second. Maybe it hadn't been such a good idea to tell Dudley off, but after the week of his griping and groaning Harry had gotten very tired of serving his cousin like an egyptian king.
"I'll be going away soon Dudley. You should be happy, they'll be paying more attention to you." Harry tried reasoning calmly with Dudley, although he was loosing his patience and loosing it quickly. But Dudley wasn't going to listen, he had been too angry with Harry's insult to care what Harry had said.
"I don't think you should go back! I think you should be locked in a cellar you freak! You and your stupid things!" Dudley reached out with his fat fingers to grab the new mug Harry had laid carefully in his trunk and reached it into the air with an obvious intention to break it, the glittering gold snitch shining from above his fat head.
Harry quickly grabbed his mortar which had been plumped filled with Stargrape and Jagweed, and just as quickly as he grabbed he picked up a handful of small sea serpent scales and pushed them into the mortar. The steam came out heavier than the last time he mixed the Jagweed and scales, possibly due to the Stargrape. What the three would actually do Harry had no idea but either he and Dudley would find out or Dudley would back off quickly.
"See the steam!" Harry yelled threateningly. "I'll make a terrible curse with it if you don't put it down! I'll make your tongue grow ten times as big as before and make you barf slugs with it if you don't put it down!" The steam was still pouring out as thick as it had begun. Dudley stopped in surprise, even though he had fully known Harry was not allowed to do magick outside of school ever since his accident with Dobby the house elf before his second year. But still, Dudley had paused.
"You're bloody stupid you bastard," Dudley told Harry. "You're bluffing!" He had lowered the mug to his fat stomach when Harry grabbed his mortar, but was slowly lifting it again.
Harry was holding the mortar by the tip, showing off the steaming contents to his cousin and moving surely with his face lowered in determination. He had to find a way to show Dudley. From the corner of his eye he picked out the bag with of deformed purple shapes labeled "Wormtoids" and started pouring the bag inside the mortar. The contents hissed.
"Am I?" Harry asked him. Dudley raised the mug again and a bolt of anger shot through Harry. If only he could use his wand outside of Hogwarts, he could do so many pleasing things to Dudley. He thought about giving Dudley a fat womanly body to match his girlish cracking voice and again from the corner of his eye grabbed another bag of what appeared to be dried and crumpled cut worms but the word "Skrewts" was written on them. He lifted the plastic baggy into his left hand and positiong his fingers to where he could push the ingredients out.
"I'll do it Dudley, if you don't put it down!" Dudley stared him down in a deadly duel of eyes. They watched each other eagerly, and Dudley began lifting the mug again until Harry quickly threw a Skrewt Tail in with the Purple Wormtoids . A small pop was enlisted, echoing through the house like a firecracker. "Put it down Dudley!" Harry wanted to call him a fat pig. He wanted to tell Dudley he was a fat man-cow and he had been ever since Harry could remember but he was trying not to anger Dudley any further for he would be too stupid to figure out Harry's warnings if he did.
Dudley's eyes were bulging now, and he was shaking silently, though he was trying to hide it. That meant that Harry had had him scared. His bluff was working. Even if he did receive another warning for using magick, he could quickly explain that it was for his homework and blame it all on Snape. Harry motioned to toss another Skrewt Tail into the mortar but Dudley jumped and lightly began putting it down, the mug hovering above the trunk of clothes but still not out of Dudley's grasp.
"You'd never..." Dudley began, but Harry had heard enough. He threw another Skrewt Tail into it, this time much more popping ensued and steam poured forth and Harry began waving his hand over the mortar and loudly reciting a false incantation.
"Abra-kadabra hocus pocus..." A VERY large and VERY sturdy pop banged through the house so fiercly that even Harry jumped, feeling it vibrate through his chest and by then Dudley finally dropped the mug safely into Harry's trunk ontop of the socks Mrs. Weasley knitted for him, and the ordeal had been over (save for a steaming and slightly boiling mixture that he had created by mistake). But then he heard the door open dowstairs. Harry all ready knew that the Dursley's were home.
"Oh Dudley pumpkin? Mama's home!" Petunia's voice sounded from the hallway downstairs.
"So much for Master Dudley-wumps," Harry murmered to himself as Dudley cried bloody murder to his parents. Harry sighed, knowing what this would mean, and started to pack up the rest of his things, pouring the steaming mixture onto the hallway floor without a care.
After finally calming the wailing Dudley down (not to forget that he was adding quite a few fake coughing fits for added effect), Harry had all ready had everything neatly packed up and ready to go just in time for Uncle Vernon to angrily screech to Harry from downstairs.
"HARRY POTTER!" His voice sounded throughout the house. Harry sighed and and walked halfway down the stairs just to where he could spot Vernon's fat visage. He was as red in the face as Dudley had been when girls were mentioned to him. Vernon took a deep breath and began to scream.
"YOU INSOLENT, WORTHLESS, IRRESPECTABLE, DELINQUENT LITTLE TWIT. BY MY WORTH YOU JUST BETTER WAIT TILL I GET UP THERE, I'LL MAKE YOU SO SORRY THEY WON'T HAVE TIME TO SEND YOU A BLASTED LETTER TO TELL YOU TO STOP..." Uncle Vernon had begun to put his fat foot on the foot step when the doorbell rang a total of five quick and ancy times in a row.
"WHAT THE BLOODY..." Vernon said to himself, the doorbell going off again another five times. He turned towards the door then back at Harry. "You just wait till I get at you!" He went to answer the door as Harry stood frozen on his spot, as angry as he had ever been since his third year when he bursted from the house in rage.
From behind Vernon's pudgy figure came two voices. "Hello sir! How would you like to try the world's greatest danish cakes?"
Vernon answered angrily. "We don't want any," he growled from beneath his mustache, but the pair of people standing in the doorway insisted.
"Course ya' do mate! Why, we've got the best desserts in the world! If you would only mind letting us through." They pushed their way past Uncle Vernon, one on either side much to Vernon's dismay.
"Now WAIT just a minute..."
"...Whilst we explain our selection!" Answered one pushy salesman for him.
"Great," Harry muttered to himself. It had been bad enough Uncle Vernon was going to probably murder him, and now two solicitors were coming in and badgering him, making it undoubtedly worse. He had yet to see who intruded as they moved into the living room. Dudley (who suddenly recovered from his "horrible death threat" at the thought of sweets) was all ready exclaiming what baked goods he wanted. "I want this chocolate one Mum! I want that one!"
Harry sighed, mumbling to himself, then spotted someone familiar in the doorway as Vernon left. The stranger was poking and prodding at the doorbell button with much intent and interest. "Mr. Weasley?" Harry said to himself in such surprise. Arthur Weasley had been too fascinated by the doorbell to notice Harry waving at him from the staircase. Mr. Weasley had an obsession with Muggle inventions. But it didn't matter because if Mr. Weasley was here then surely...
Ron popped his head in the doorway while Fred and George, who had posed as the salesmen, twisted in random directions around Uncle Vernon and Dudley, the twins keeping them more than busy to notice the Weasley gang showing up. Ron smiled happily as he walked in, followed by Bill Weasley and Mrs. Weasley right behind. They all gave a warming smile and a hand shake as they helped Harry get his things into the Weasley's enchanted car. This went on as Fred and George fast-talked the Dursley's.
"These little custard pies are SURE to make your yellow feathers rustle in joy if you would just..."
"But just wait a darn minute!" Uncle Vernon shouted furiously, not bothering to notice Ron and Bill carrying Harry's trunk downstairs. Hedwig was hooting insultingly at Uncle Vernon's back from atop the luggage. Harry was packed into the car quickly enough, Mrs. Weasley adjusting his overlarge sweater on his skinny body and squeezing his cheeks with motherly affection as she asked him how his summer had been.
Before long, Fred and George had closed the door to the Durlsey's house, looking very smug and satisfied indeed, and Mrs. Weasley was ordering Bill to pry his father away from the Muggle doorbell. They were all in the car now, Mr. Weasley going on about the fascinating button he had saw, and Ron asking Fred and George questions.
"Psst... Fred.... FRED!" Fred, who was crammed in the back seat with George, Harry, and Ron, looked towards him.
"Did you really sell them..."
Fred and George looked at each and smirked. "Well..." no sooner had they answered did Mrs. Weasley turn around from the front seat and bark at them.
"Fred and George Weasley! You had better NOT have given them your Pigglewiggle Brownies!"
George frowned at his mother's scornful look. "But mom... I think he'll look better with pig ears! They'll suit him..."
She looked at him reprovingly, but apparently agreed for she said nothing more and turned around. Ron snickered and chuckled beside Harry. "Pig ears? Won't you get in trouble with..."
"Don't worry," Harry said as he watched Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia run out from their house on Privet Drive from the back window, Vernon balling his fists and screaming in the air at Harry. Harry waved merrily back with a smile and said, "Dudley's been turned into a pig before... sort of." He was referring to when Hagrid gave him a pigtail. With that, they were off.