A Can of Worms
By Parareru
Disclaimer: I don't own Kim Possible or the characters. Except for a couple that you may not recognize. Those belong to me. At least, I'm pretty sure about that. ^_^;
Chapter 3: School Days
"Booyah! Start of our senior year, KP," Ron said to his girlfriend exultantly as the two of them slowly made their way through the usual crowd milling around outside of the school. Ron was dressed in his usual red jersey and tan cargo pants, sagely stating why break from a sure thing. In contrast, Kim chose to depart from tradition and wore a cream halter that slashed down from waist to mid thigh over a pair of light blue capris.
Ron loved to watch Kim's hair swish across her bare shoulders as she walked and he found himself suppressing a strong impulse to run his hands across her smooth skin. Instead, he clapped his hands together and rubbed them briskly in anticipation. "Senior Table here we come!" he crowed to shift his focus to something other than Kim and her inviting skin.
"Ron, senior year is not just about the Senior Table," Kim admonished as she turned slightly to give her boyfriend a playful poke to his ribs.
"You're absolutely right, Kim," Ron said contritely as he snagged Kim's arm and pulled her into a close embrace, a teasing smirk on his face as he gave in to his desire to hold her in his arms. "It's also about class rings that don't end up burning my hair off."
"Well, it was one way to give you a new look," Kim laughed with Ron. "I promise no laser rings that'll burn off those cute lil' goldilocks of yours."
"Didja have to mention 'goldilocks,' Kim?" Ron asked with a pained wince. "That just brings back all sorts of memories of elementary school. Not a happy place."
"I thought you were happy as long as you were with me," Kim pouted half seriously. "Wasn't I right there with you?"
"Well, I most definitely am happy now," Ron said as he bent his head down to give Kim a kiss. "Life don't get much better than this," he murmured.
"Hey now, no PDAs," Monique protested jokingly by way of greeting as she walked up to the two teens sharing a moment. "Have some mercy on the rest of us single folk here."
"Oh hey, Monique," Kim replied a little breathlessly with a slightly goofy grin plastered on her face. "How you doing?"
"Apparently not a good as the two of you," Monique quipped. "Have you heard the news about Principal Waters?"
Kim and Ron both shook their heads after looking at each other questioningly. "What news?" Kim asked back curiously.
"She's on some sort of leave of absence so it looks like we've got a new Acting Principal," Monique informed the pair.
"Please don't let it be Barkin," Ron pleaded fervently to the Powers That Be. While Steve Barkin was a decent instructor, his rather militaristic mindset brought him down rather hard on Ron, the student he saw as less than the ideal man.
"Doesn't look like," Monique answered and Ron heaved a deep sigh of relief. "I think they brought some guy in from outta state."
"Well, we got to get to homeroom," Kim said taking Ron by the hand as the first bell rang. "Can't be late for our first day of senior year."
"Senior Table, here we come," Monique crowed happily, causing Kim to roll her eyes in disbelief. Hard to believe that her two best friends had such different personalities, yet shared such similar tastes.
"I hear that," Ron agreed as he dutifully followed Kim into the school. "Can't wait for fruits of the sea!"
***
"Hi, Ronnie," Bonnie Rockwaller greeted the blond in a low and sultry voice as she walked over to where Ron had slid into his seat after retrieving his class schedule from the homeroom teacher. Kim instantly whirled in her seat glaring at the brunette through slitted eyes.
"Oh, hey, Bonnie," Ron mumbled distractedly as he rocked his head back and forth, studying his schedule. "How's it going?"
"So I missed you at my party," Bonnie pouted coyly as she leaned closer to Ron, expertly masking her irritation at being regarded in such an offhand manner.
"Eh, sorry," Ron replied with an absent shrug as he continued to study his schedule. "I had a date with Kim." He looked up briefly to catch Kim's eye and sent a warm smile her way.
Bonnie scowled in annoyance and flashed a challenging, venomous glare at the redhead who returned the look with equal force. "Well, perhaps you'd like to come over my place sometime," she pressed sweetly as she regained some of her composure. "Maybe you could teach me how to ... cook?"
Kim ground her teeth and clenched her fist at the sheer effrontery of Bonnie's approach. This was a new low, even for Bonnie. How dare Bonnie hit on Ron while she was sitting right there? Ron for his part seemed utterly oblivious to the silent, hostile exchange that passed over his head in more ways than one.
"Yeah, sure, whatever," Ron replied in a bored tone, not really sure what he was agreeing to. "Hey, let me get a look at your schedule, KP," he said suddenly as he snagged the piece of paper from its spot on her desk. Bonnie in the meantime fumed as she realized that Ron was completely ignoring her.
"Alright!" Ron exclaimed happily after he had compared the two sheets. "Nearly every class together again this year," he informed Kim triumphantly. "Someone up there must like me."
"Well, it looks like you finally got into Spanish," Kim observed with a wry smile, as she leaned over to look over the schedules. "Bucking for a career as a Bueno Nacho manager are we?"
"Well, some one has to stand up to Hego's plan to deep six the naco," he said cheerfully as he cracked his knuckles as if in preparation for a fight. He paused and glanced over at Kim. "Last class of the day. How come you didn't join me?"
"Well, after the Latin fiasco I wanted to get back to something I'd actually use. After all, you got to go to Paris already and I am so dying to see the Louvre, like on an actual vacation rather than a mission," Kim drawled lightheartedly and arched a brow at Ron. "Still going to work on getting the down low on J Lo?"
"Maybe," Ron shrugged noncommittally. "But let's not forget the important thing, the salsa eating!"
"Booyah!" Rufus agreed emphatically as he popped out of Ron's cargo pocket, rubbing his belly hungrily.
"Ugh!" Bonnie said as she drew back, regarding the naked mole rat with obvious revulsion. "You're still carrying that thing around in your pants?!"
"Why not?" Ron asked curiously, as Kim smiled triumphantly at Bonnie's rather predictable reaction to Rufus. "It's been this way for the last five years. Rufus goes everywhere I do."
Bonnie turned away with a grunt of frustration. "You are such a Loser!" Bonnie declared as if she were passing a dreaded sentence upon Ron.
"Par for the course," Ron said with a disinterested shrug.
Bonnie growled in exasperation at Ron's infuriating attitude. "I can't believe..." she began.
"Believe what, Bonnie?" Kim asked sweetly, her expression deceptively neutral as she inwardly seethed over the challenge that the brunette had thrown down in front of her.
"Nothing," Bonnie snarled as she stalked away, crossing her arms over her chest angrily. 'This is not over, not by a long shot,' she vowed silently to herself as she flounced into her seat and glared hatefully at Ron and Kim sitting contentedly side by side.
***
"So I wonder who this TBD is," Ron pondered to Kim as they strolled into their English class, his schedule in hand.
"Ron, it means 'To Be Determined,' Kim laughed lightly as she laid a consoling hand on Ron's arm.
"Oh," Ron said sheepishly as he held his schedule at arms length and studied it thoughtfully. "I guess that would make sense."
"You're so weird," Kim said as she placed a light kiss on Ron's cheek to take the sting out of her words. "But that's why I love you."
Ron rubbed his cheek where Kim had kissed him in a slight daze, a blissful grin plastered across his face. "So it looks like we'll be stuck with Barkin again for English," he reasoned as they sat down beside each other.
"Okay, eyes and ears, people!" Barkin snapped as he strode purposefully into the classroom. Instantly, all the students clammed up, used to Barkin's idiosyncrasies as he took his position behind the desk. Barkin coolly placed his hands on the desk and slowly studied the assembled students. "Apparently, the new English teacher's visa application was denied, so I'll be taking over..."
"Actually, Steve, I think I'll take over the instruction of this class," a smooth, strangely accented voice interrupted from the doorway. The entire class shifted their attention to the person who would dare to interrupt Barkin. The intruder clearly matched Barkin in height if not in bulk and wore a light charcoal gray suit that clearly accented the gray in his hair and goatee. Rather than try to conceal his age he almost seemed to flaunt it, as if daring anyone to take exception to it. His eyes glittered in suppressed amusement as he matched the students' speculative gaze.
"But sir," Barkin protested. "I'm supposed to fill in for this class..."
"Well, Steven," the stranger said conversationally as he clapped Barkin on the shoulder. "If you're free this period, then you'll be able to help set up the JROTC program we'll be implementing next year."
"Do you really mean that?!" Barkin asked excitedly. At last, a chance to literally mold the soldiers of tomorrow. No more wasting time on weeding out the potential hopefuls, instead they would come to him. The prospect nearly had him drooling in anticipation.
"Go talk with my secretary and she'll give you all the materials," the stranger said with a smile as he ushered Barkin out the door. "I'm sure that we'll implement most, if not all, of your recommendations for the program."
"Thank you," Barkin said in honest gratitude as he took off down the hall. "You won't regret it."
"Well, I do believe introductions are in order," their new teacher began as he stepped up to the desk and placed a small parcel on it. "My name is Vincent Connors and I'll be teaching your English class for the time being. And as you may or may not have guessed I am also the acting principal."
Ron glanced over a Kim, an unspoken question in his eyes. She responded with a silent shrug, just as confused as he was as to why the acting principal might take a personal hand in teaching an English class.
"Now I know you're probably wondering what the principal is doing in your class," Connors told the students with an enigmatic smile. "Let's just say I've instructed my share of students and missed the challenge.
"Now how many of you have thought about the world we live in?" Connors began as he moved in front of the desk and leaned back against it.
"What do you mean, Mr. Connors?" Tara asked as she raised her hand.
"A very good question," Connors replied as he pointed at the blonde cheerleader. "I mean how happy are you with this world we live in, the climate, the technology, the current geopolitical situation?"
"Well, all these wars suck," someone chimed in from the back of the class.
"Excellent," Connors said encouragingly. "What about them 'sucks?'"
"Well, my mother always said that violence never solves anything," Tara supplied helpfully.
"Ah, it is so refreshing to see such naïveté in this day and age," Connors mocked. "I suppose that the victim of a war, homicide or even a simple mugging might see things differently. Violence has rather firmly and definitively settled the fates of those unfortunates. Violence has had a hand in settling more issues throughout the span of human history than any other factor. And in truth we have become far too used to it."
"But we try to rise above that," Kim argued. Connors nodded to cede the point to Kim, but continued with his lecture.
"Try as we might, violence is one of, if not the, key motivating forces in our society. It is so integrated into every single facet of our daily lives that we live with it as if it were completely natural," Connors lectured. "A generation ago your parents and grandparent lived under the constant threat of nuclear annihilation. It became a fact of life for them, as much a part of their lives as a television or an automobile."
"What does this have to do with us?" Bonnie asked with a bored sigh.
"Patience is virtue," Connors quoted as Bonnie rolled her eyes at the trite expression. "Take the pie in the face gag, a classic of comedy, yet in and of itself a violent act; throwing a pie into the face of the person who may or may not be expecting it. Yet it is funny."
Connors looked over the class and pointed to a surprised Ron. "You. Come up. Come now, don't be shy. Stand up."
Ron stood in confusion, wondering at the sudden attention as a feeling of dread settling in the pit of his stomach.
"Now who believes it would be funny if this lad was hit in the face with a pie?" Connors asked the class ignoring Ron's brief yelp of protest. A number of hands instantly shot into the air, Bonnie's first among them. Kim and a few others resolutely kept their hands out of the air, but the ayes clearly carried the vote.
Connors pulled a cream pie from the box he had placed on the desk and looked over the class again, finally pointing a finger at Kim. "You disagree," he said.
"Yeah, it's demeaning to Ron and just plain cruel," Kim said defiantly. "I don't know what point you're trying to make, but to use anyone like that isn't funny."
"You'll see the point I am driving at in a moment," Connors said, utterly unfazed by Kim's criticism and pointed to Bonnie after another brief pan of the class. "You look like you have no problems with this exercise."
Bonnie stood up slowly and regarded Ron coldly. "Oh, this'll be sweet," she said softly as her lips turned upward in a cruel, predatory smile.
Connors held the pie out for her as Bonnie walked to the front of the class. Just as she reached out her hands to take the pie, Bonnie suddenly stumbled and lunged forward, crashing into the teacher's outstretched hand with a startled shriek. The class instantly erupted in laughter as Bonnie looked down in horror as the aluminum pie plate fell to the floor with a clatter leaving her front smeared with cream.
"Not exactly what I intended, but it'll do," Connors said with an arched brow.
"You did that on PURPOSE!" Bonnie screeched at Connors as her classmates continued to laugh.
"You were the one that stumbled," Connors pointed out. "However, since you participated in the exercise you may be excused from the assignment and go clean yourself off." Bonnie stalked out of the classroom, muttering obscenities under her breath while Connors gestured for Ron to take his seat. He stooped briefly to pick up the empty pie plate off the floor.
"You assignment tonight is to write a five page paper on an aspect of violence that pervades your everyday life and how you deal with it," Connors told the students only to be greeted with a chorus of loud groans. "But on a happy note, class is dismissed." Immediately, the students began to pack up their belongings and filed out of the classroom as Connors finally sat down at the desk and flipped through some folders.
"Coming, Kim?" Ron asked as Kim lingered behind. He saw her kneel down briefly to pick up a pen that slipped from her books.
"I'll catch up with you in a bit," she promised as she stood and studied their new teacher with an unreadable expression on her face. Ron shrugged and began walking slowly to their next class, Physics.
"What can I do for you, Miss Possible?" Connors asked, not even looking up at Kim's approach.
"Just thought you might want this," Kim said neutrally as she placed the small object concealed in her hand onto the desk and walked out of the room. "We wouldn't want anyone else to stumble."
"Hmm, saw that did you?" Connors mused quietly to himself as he glanced at the ball bearing he had flicked under Bonnie Rockwaller's foot just moments ago. "She's good. Very good. Maybe he was right."
***
"I'm telling you, Ron, there's something wrong about the new principal," Kim was busy warning Ron as they exited their History class. "And I don't mean wrong as in a lunatic Barkin sorta way."
"It's probably nothing, Kim," Ron assured her smoothly. "So what if he rigged that whole pie thing. Can you think of anyone else who deserved it more? 'Sides, I don't really get the villain vibe off the guy."
"Well, how'd he know my name?" Kim countered. "He clearly said, 'Miss Possible,' but he didn't check attendance or set up a seating chart or anything. It's like he already knows who we are."
"Kim, you save the world on a regular basis," Ron reasoned. "You had Kim Style. You're famous. I'm sure ninety percent of the US male population knows who you are."
"Well, that's a reassuring thought," Kim muttered.
"Anyway KP, let's focus on the task at hand," Ron suggested as he steered Kim into the cafeteria. "It's lunch time!"
"Maybe a classic Senior Table lunch will help," Kim agreed, her mood brightening slightly as they caught sight of Monique.
"Bad news, guys," Monique said glumly with a tray of cafeteria lady's goop in hand.
"Monique, we're seniors now," Ron chided his friend gently and struck a dramatic pose. "No longer will our refined palates have to brave the questionable wares of the school kitchen. We are now above all that. A new world now awaits us and it is filled with delectable goodness."
"Very poetic, Ron," Kim deadpanned, then broke into a grin at Ron's antics. She just couldn't help it; the blonde's enthusiasm was contagious.
"I've been practicing over the summer," Ron confessed with a small giggle.
"Two words," Monique replied dejectedly as she slid into a seat and began pushing her meal around the tray with a plastic spork. She spooned some of the food, raised it to eye level and watched numbly as it dribbled back into the tray. "Budget. Cuts."
Ron gasped in fear at the news and looked around the cafeteria, hoping against hope. Everywhere he looked he could only see students eating the same utilitarian slop that Monique fiddled with. "NO! WHY?!" he demanded with a pained sob as he fell to his knees. "Have I been put on the world to suffer?"
"So not the drama, Ron," Kim said as she tried to mask her own disappointment. "We handled three years of it, another one won't kill us."
"Won't it?" Ron insisted desperately. "Maybe by the end of the year we'll have built up a toxic reservoir that'll take us out just when we're about to get our diplomas. They're out to get us."
"If you can handle multiple nacos, you can handle school lunch," Kim said as she picked up a tray and spork. She heaved a sigh of thinly veiled disgust as she regarded the spork, the prime symbol of the budget minded consumer. It was almost as if Frugal Lucre was running the school district's logistics. Operating on a vague hunch Kim pulled her Kimmunicator from her backpack and keyed it on.
"Hey Kim," Wade hailed her with a jaunty wave. "What's up?
"Just checking in," Kim replied. "Has Frugal Lucre been up to anything lately?"
"It's actually been pretty quiet on the super villain front," Wade answered as his fingers rapidly tapped away at his keyboard. "Frugal Lucre hasn't broken his probation and nothing odd has turned up in his neck of the woods. Are you looking for anything in particular?"
"No, not reall... hey!" Kim protested as Ron yanked the Kimmunicator from Kim's hands and pointed it at Monique's tray.
"Wade, give us a scan of what kind of poisons the cafeteria lady is trying to dose us with," Ron ordered.
A light blue beam emitted from the top of the device and played over the school lunch. "Well, it's edible," Wade admitted with a scowl. "Though I'm not really sure what it used to be."
Wordlessly, Ron handed the Kimmunicator back to Kim as his shoulders slumped in defeat.
"Thanks, Wade," Kim said. "Sorry for the bother."
"No problem, Kim," Wade replied with a shrug. "It's what I'm here f..." A beep from his computer drew his attention and his fingers flew over the keyboard in a blur. Wade rapidly scanned the data on his screen and blanched slightly. "I just got a major hit on the site," he told Kim.
"Set up a ride for us," Kim said firmly. "Ron and I are on our way."
"Actually, I'm not sure if you're quite up for this one," Wade replied uncomfortably as he continued to shift his eyes from Kim to his monitor and back again.
"Why? What's wrong?" Kim inquired with a casual shrug. "Like the site says, 'I can do anything.'"
Wade swallowed heavily several times as he moistened his suddenly dry lips. He glanced at his monitor again, to confirm that the information was accurate while Kim waited impatiently.
"It's Drakken," Wade told her softly. Kim let out a surprised gasp at those two words and the Kimmunicator slipped from her suddenly nerveless fingers to clatter on the floor. If Wade noticed that Kim had dropped the device, he gave no indication.
"I found him."
Kim swayed unsteadily on her feet and Ron caught her before she could fall.
"Set up the ride, Wade," Ron said as he looked at Kim worriedly. "It's time to finish this."
Up next: The final fate of Dr. Drakken
A/N: Oy, FIVE WEEKS since I last updated this story. Ouch. Sorry for the long wait. The good news is that the next two chapters should come fairly quickly now that I have them mostly mapped out. I'll post the next chapter of Ron ½ before that though.
That class lesson on violence was loosely based on Robert Heinlein's Starship Troopers, the book, not the movie.
The overall tone of this chapter was rather comedic and fluffy. Next chapter the fun begins. How will Kim react when she finally confronts Drakken face to face?
Till next time.