A/N: Okay, I don't own RK blah blah, but I didn't put this here just for
that! I just wanted to warn you that the FINAL TWIST is coming up in this
chapter!! DUN DUN DUN!!!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Later the next day, Kenshin walked into Saito's office to do his... uh... work. He stepped through the Goro Door and saw Saito standing there, looking sleepy.
"What are you doing here?" Kenshin asked. Saito grumbled something like: This is my office...
"Your raccoon, she's annoying me," Saito stated plainly. Kenshin looked at Saito with a puzzled look.
"You must be mistaken," Kenshin said. "I don't have a raccoon." Saito sweatdropped.
"I meant Kaoru," Saito said.
"Oh," Kenshin replied.
"Oh, uhh... Battousai? What does it mean when a girl says * whisper whisper *?" Saito asked, leaning over and muttering unknown words into Kenshin's ear. Kenshin giggled insanely, which looked weird on Saito's body.
"Why? Who said that?" Kenshin asked. Saito stared at Kenshin.
"Kaoru said it to me," he said. Kenshin paled, then ran out of the room. Saito stared after him. After a little while, Kenshin came back, sipping water from a cup. Saito continued to stare at him.
"Whew..." Kenshin said. "Well... I don't really want to tell you. I'll just know for myself." He grinned, then toned it down to a smirk.
"Hey, you're getting good at that, that you are!" Saito said. He swallowed hard. Did he just talk like Kenshin instinctively?! Kenshin stared.
"You're talking like me! And I'm not talking like me!" Kenshin gasped. "We'd better change back soon! I might BECOME you!" Saito nodded in agreement. Saito walked out of the office, hoping for it to be the next day. And nothing else happened that day, so I'm skipping to early the next morning!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Early the next morning... Saito woke up, expecting to be himself again. He sat up, still in Kenshin's room. He stood up and saw that he was in Kenshin's clothes with Kenshin's hands and Kenshin's hair! Saito frowned. WHAT? He walked outside where the sun was barely up. No one was awake, and he planned to keep it that way. He crept out of the front gate and sprinted to his office. He threw open the Goro Door and found Kenshin sitting at the Goro Desk, unsuccessfully trying to light the Goro Cig with a Goro Match (All found at Goros-R-Us, by the way. ^_^ Then again, Saitos-R-Us has cooler stuff... ^___^) .
"Battousai, why are we still not ourselves?" Saito snapped. Kenshin looked up.
"I don't know," he said. "I hope that we can find out why. I think we should talk to the freaky old lady who gave me the magical cigarettes in the first place." Kenshin stood up and picked up his katana. He held it in his hand and began to walk out.
"Why are you holding your sword like that?" Saito asked. Kenshin looked back sheepishly.
"Uhhh... well... I don't know how to... fasten it to my... er YOUR belt," Kenshin said, pointing to the all-too-cool Saito Belt. Saito groaned and swiftly attached the sheath to the belt.
"Let's go," he said. "Where is this place?" Kenshin thought a moment.
"This way," he said. They walked to the store where they both walked in, Kenshin getting his Goro Hat knocked off by the too low door frame.
"Hello, honey," an old woman rasped, coming out of the door on the side. "I see that the switcheroo worked." Kenshin frowned, picking up the Hat.
"But it's been three days!" he protested. "We should have been back as ourselves by now!" The woman looked them over, then sighed.
"Well, you have a problem," she said. Saito's head snapped up.
"So? WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT, OLD WOMAN?" Saito yelled. The woman glanced at him.
"Yare yare," she said. "You simply told someone your secret. You told someone that you had switched bodies." The woman studied her fingernails, then began to suck on them. Between sucks, she said:
"So, you'll have to drink holy water from the shrine at the top of the hill." Saito glanced at Kenshin.
"How hard could that be?" Kenshin asked. "We'll go and drink it, then be back here and normal before anyone notices!" Saito nodded. The old woman looked their way.
"Well, actually..." she said.
"What now, woman?" Saito asked, getting fed up. She sighed.
"I already sent someone up there to fetch the holy water," the old woman croaked. "And that person wants it for the strength it can give. All he has to do is pour it all over himself and he'll get stronger. BUT... he's very big, and I don't think there'll be any water left if he uses it."
"Then we'd better hurry! When did he leave?" Kenshin asked, turning to leave.
"Just now," the woman growled, turning away. "However, you should be careful. He's a dangerous man." Saito snorted and walked out of the store, determined to get to the hill before the other man. Kenshin stumbled out after him. The sun had just finished rising and was casting a misty glow on the city.
"The hill's this way," Kenshin said, pointing.
"Yeah," Saito said. They both hurried out of the city and to the hill where they could just barely see the shrine on top of it. Before they began their climb, Kenshin gasped:
"LOOK!" there was a person on the hill dressed in bright yellow clothing. "It's... the... Yellow Snowman!!" Saito sweatdropped and stared at Kenshin.
"Who?"
"The Yellow Snowman!" Kenshin repeated, running up the hill after him. "I ran away from him the other day!" Saito sighed and ran up after Kenshin. They arrived at the shrine not too long after the Yellow Snowman, huffing and puffing.
"STOP, SNOWMAN!" Kenshin bellowed, running into the main part of the shrine. The Snowman turned from the basin with holy water in it.
"OH! IT'S YOU!" the Snowman roared back. "Here to fight again?" Kenshin shook his head.
"Step away from the holy water," he commanded. "Or I'll be forced to... uh... hurt you badly!" The Snowman laughed a thick laugh.
"NO! I need this water to get STRONG!" he said loudly. "I'll fight you for it!" The Snowman glanced at Saito. "I'll even take you on with your puny friend!" Saito frowned at that one.
"I'm not puny!" he protested. "I'll rip your guts out!" Kenshin glanced at Saito, but Saito didn't seem to notice. The Yellow Snowman pulled out a sword as did Saito and Kenshin.
"COME ON!" the Snowman yelled. Kenshin was about to perform a Ryu Sou Sen, but then remembered his previous attempt.
"Saito, wait!" Kenshin yelled, but it was too late. Saito had already rushed in with a Gatotsu aiming at the Snowman's head. The sword slipped from his left hand and clattered to the floor, leaving Saito with a punch to the Snowman's fat belly. The Snowman gave a chuckle, then picked Saito up by his magenta collar and tossed him into the wall. He hit it with an "oof!". The Snowman turned to Kenshin.
"Your turn, Skinny!" the Yellow Snowman yelled. Kenshin backed up, thinking of how to proceed. Saito stood up, rubbing his head. He ran over to his fallen Sakabatou and picked it up.
"Your body can't use its left hand!" Saito cried angrily at Kenshin. Kenshin grinned sheepishly.
"Yours can't move very fast," he said. Saito thought a moment.
"Talk me through the Ryu Tsui Sen, Battousai," Saito commanded. Kenshin looked at him with a puzzled expression.
"Okay, you have to jump really high and then hold the sword as far back as you can to get lots of speed on it so that when you bring it down on your opponent's head, it'll have more power," Kenshin said. "Hold it like a baseball bat!" Saito nodded, wondering what exactly baseball was and jumped up high into the air.
"Ummm... HITEN... uh... MITSERUGI STYLE, RYU TSUI SEN!" Saito yelled and crashed down on the Yellow Snowman. He bounced off of the blubbery man and hit the ground hard. He did, however, leave a small bruise on the Snowman's long, pointy nose.
"Ouch!" the Snowman yelped. "That hurt!"
"WHOO HOOOOOO!" a cheer came from the corner. All of the fighters turned to see Hiko leaning casually against the wall, drinking sake.
"Shishou?" Kenshin asked, bewildered. "How'd you get here?"
"I don't know," Hiko drawled. "I just appeared. But he's a better user of the Hiten Mitserugi Style than you, Baka Deshi!" Kenshin sweatdropped and gave Hiko an annoyed look.
"Not true!" he said. Hiko laughed until he was blue, then continued laughing 'till he passed out. Everyone sweatdropped except for Hiko, of course.
"What was that about, Battousai?" Saito asked, standing and rubbing his head. Kenshin shrugged.
"Shishou gets drunk every once and a while," Kenshin said. The Yellow Snowman gasped.
"YOU'RE HITOKIRI BATTOUSAI?" the Yellow Snowman asked. "WOW! I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE THAT TALL!" He gasped. Saito glared, then prepared for another Ryu Tsui Sen.
"No," Kenshin said, stopping him. "Let me fight." Saito looked at Kenshin with a skeptical look, but allowed him to proceed.
"COME ON, HITOKIRI!" the Yellow Snowman yelled. Kenshin stepped forward. "I'LL KILL YOU AND YOUR WEAKLING FRIEND TOO!"
"You will not!" Kenshin said. "You will not kill anyone!" The Yellow Snowman laughed.
"Then what'm I gonna do? Oh, I know, I'll take some of this holy water!" he dipped his hand into the water basin and scooped up a handful of water. He splashed it onto his face.
"STOP!" Kenshin yelled. The Snowman took another handful and splashed it onto his gi. Kenshin sheathed his sword and took a Battou-jutsu stance. Saito was about to act, but then something strange happened. Kenshin's (Saito's) four wispy bangs began to sway and turn an odd bright bluish, purplish color. Saito stared in awe as Kenshin's (Saito's) amber eyes glazed over and became a bright, shining yellow-gold. Every color on Kenshin intensified and he crouched down, an angry look taking over his body. Hiko just then sprang up.
"WOW! IT'S BATTOUSAI! WHEN DID HE GET HERE? WHERE DID KENSHIN GO?" Hiko asked. Then, the slurped some sake. Saito sweatdropped, then turned back to the fight. Kenshin started yelling and all of the dust, bits of grass, and stray leaves started swirling around the inside of the shrine. Saito watched, amused.
"OOOOHHHHH! So you're showing me your warrior's spirit! Your KI!" the Yellow Smowman exclaimed. "Well I'll show you mine!" He also began to glow and the room turned icy and yellow. Yellow liquid dripped from the ceiling and the basin of holy water froze over. Saito held his nose, nearly fainting from the smell.
"Uugh," Saito mumbled. "I can see why you're called the... YELLOW Snowman." Hiko laughed, then drank some more sake, which had turned yellow and icy. The Snowman lifted his sword and charged at Kenshin. Kenshin ran forward as well, hardly slipping on the icy floor. He unsheathed his sword with near- to-god-like speed and sliced through the Smowman. He fell to the floor, spewing yellow liquid.
"NO! I'm... MELTING!" the Snowman yelled. He ran out of the shrine and down to the river where he jumped into the cold water and drifted away, swearing to come back someday (Bum bum bum!). Kenshin glanced at Saito as the shrine became normal again.
"You ready?" Kenshin asked. Saito looked back at him.
"For what?"
"Drinking the holy water," Kenshin said. Saito nodded.
"Of course," he said. "I've been in your ugly body for long enough." Kenshin frowned at that, then took a handful of water in his hands. Saito copied.
"Ready? On three," Kenshin said, looking at Saito. "Three!" Saito would've sweatdropped if he had time, but he didn't so he quickly lifted his hands to his lips, watching Kenshin drink the water as well. They drank it quickly, then looked at each other.
"Nothing happened," Saito said. Kenshin stared at his hands, then started to sway.
"I feel sick," Kenshin said. Saito studied him, then realized that he couldn't focus on Kenshin's features.
"I do too... maybe the Smowman spiked the water..." Saito said. He knelt down as did Kenshin. Then there was a bright flash of light. Kenshin saw Saito slump to the floor. It was the last thing he saw before falling into unconsciousness.
A/N: Ha... that was pretty long, huh? Hmmm... well, I'm sorry. There IS one more chapter. It IS the last one, though, I promise! The funniness continues!!!
REVIEW RESPONSES:
S3r3nity: Hai, she is. And thank you.
MissBehavin: No, not final... sigh. Thought that it'd be too long, so I broke it into two chapters. Sigh... And as for where he bit her... I'll let you think about that. Imagination... And I tried to make Saito a really good actor. He is, after all, really good at pretending to be a nice policeman.
Aikawarazu Ai: Nope, didn't kill myself. You really DO hate Kaoru, huh? Oh well. I don't like her, but I don't have anything against her either.
Wounds: I don't know if I beat Kenshin up enough for you. Oh, did you like the final twist? Do you even know what it was? And it's okay if you babble a whole bunch, I don't really mind. As for where he bit her... I'll let you think about it. ^_^
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Later the next day, Kenshin walked into Saito's office to do his... uh... work. He stepped through the Goro Door and saw Saito standing there, looking sleepy.
"What are you doing here?" Kenshin asked. Saito grumbled something like: This is my office...
"Your raccoon, she's annoying me," Saito stated plainly. Kenshin looked at Saito with a puzzled look.
"You must be mistaken," Kenshin said. "I don't have a raccoon." Saito sweatdropped.
"I meant Kaoru," Saito said.
"Oh," Kenshin replied.
"Oh, uhh... Battousai? What does it mean when a girl says * whisper whisper *?" Saito asked, leaning over and muttering unknown words into Kenshin's ear. Kenshin giggled insanely, which looked weird on Saito's body.
"Why? Who said that?" Kenshin asked. Saito stared at Kenshin.
"Kaoru said it to me," he said. Kenshin paled, then ran out of the room. Saito stared after him. After a little while, Kenshin came back, sipping water from a cup. Saito continued to stare at him.
"Whew..." Kenshin said. "Well... I don't really want to tell you. I'll just know for myself." He grinned, then toned it down to a smirk.
"Hey, you're getting good at that, that you are!" Saito said. He swallowed hard. Did he just talk like Kenshin instinctively?! Kenshin stared.
"You're talking like me! And I'm not talking like me!" Kenshin gasped. "We'd better change back soon! I might BECOME you!" Saito nodded in agreement. Saito walked out of the office, hoping for it to be the next day. And nothing else happened that day, so I'm skipping to early the next morning!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Early the next morning... Saito woke up, expecting to be himself again. He sat up, still in Kenshin's room. He stood up and saw that he was in Kenshin's clothes with Kenshin's hands and Kenshin's hair! Saito frowned. WHAT? He walked outside where the sun was barely up. No one was awake, and he planned to keep it that way. He crept out of the front gate and sprinted to his office. He threw open the Goro Door and found Kenshin sitting at the Goro Desk, unsuccessfully trying to light the Goro Cig with a Goro Match (All found at Goros-R-Us, by the way. ^_^ Then again, Saitos-R-Us has cooler stuff... ^___^) .
"Battousai, why are we still not ourselves?" Saito snapped. Kenshin looked up.
"I don't know," he said. "I hope that we can find out why. I think we should talk to the freaky old lady who gave me the magical cigarettes in the first place." Kenshin stood up and picked up his katana. He held it in his hand and began to walk out.
"Why are you holding your sword like that?" Saito asked. Kenshin looked back sheepishly.
"Uhhh... well... I don't know how to... fasten it to my... er YOUR belt," Kenshin said, pointing to the all-too-cool Saito Belt. Saito groaned and swiftly attached the sheath to the belt.
"Let's go," he said. "Where is this place?" Kenshin thought a moment.
"This way," he said. They walked to the store where they both walked in, Kenshin getting his Goro Hat knocked off by the too low door frame.
"Hello, honey," an old woman rasped, coming out of the door on the side. "I see that the switcheroo worked." Kenshin frowned, picking up the Hat.
"But it's been three days!" he protested. "We should have been back as ourselves by now!" The woman looked them over, then sighed.
"Well, you have a problem," she said. Saito's head snapped up.
"So? WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT, OLD WOMAN?" Saito yelled. The woman glanced at him.
"Yare yare," she said. "You simply told someone your secret. You told someone that you had switched bodies." The woman studied her fingernails, then began to suck on them. Between sucks, she said:
"So, you'll have to drink holy water from the shrine at the top of the hill." Saito glanced at Kenshin.
"How hard could that be?" Kenshin asked. "We'll go and drink it, then be back here and normal before anyone notices!" Saito nodded. The old woman looked their way.
"Well, actually..." she said.
"What now, woman?" Saito asked, getting fed up. She sighed.
"I already sent someone up there to fetch the holy water," the old woman croaked. "And that person wants it for the strength it can give. All he has to do is pour it all over himself and he'll get stronger. BUT... he's very big, and I don't think there'll be any water left if he uses it."
"Then we'd better hurry! When did he leave?" Kenshin asked, turning to leave.
"Just now," the woman growled, turning away. "However, you should be careful. He's a dangerous man." Saito snorted and walked out of the store, determined to get to the hill before the other man. Kenshin stumbled out after him. The sun had just finished rising and was casting a misty glow on the city.
"The hill's this way," Kenshin said, pointing.
"Yeah," Saito said. They both hurried out of the city and to the hill where they could just barely see the shrine on top of it. Before they began their climb, Kenshin gasped:
"LOOK!" there was a person on the hill dressed in bright yellow clothing. "It's... the... Yellow Snowman!!" Saito sweatdropped and stared at Kenshin.
"Who?"
"The Yellow Snowman!" Kenshin repeated, running up the hill after him. "I ran away from him the other day!" Saito sighed and ran up after Kenshin. They arrived at the shrine not too long after the Yellow Snowman, huffing and puffing.
"STOP, SNOWMAN!" Kenshin bellowed, running into the main part of the shrine. The Snowman turned from the basin with holy water in it.
"OH! IT'S YOU!" the Snowman roared back. "Here to fight again?" Kenshin shook his head.
"Step away from the holy water," he commanded. "Or I'll be forced to... uh... hurt you badly!" The Snowman laughed a thick laugh.
"NO! I need this water to get STRONG!" he said loudly. "I'll fight you for it!" The Snowman glanced at Saito. "I'll even take you on with your puny friend!" Saito frowned at that one.
"I'm not puny!" he protested. "I'll rip your guts out!" Kenshin glanced at Saito, but Saito didn't seem to notice. The Yellow Snowman pulled out a sword as did Saito and Kenshin.
"COME ON!" the Snowman yelled. Kenshin was about to perform a Ryu Sou Sen, but then remembered his previous attempt.
"Saito, wait!" Kenshin yelled, but it was too late. Saito had already rushed in with a Gatotsu aiming at the Snowman's head. The sword slipped from his left hand and clattered to the floor, leaving Saito with a punch to the Snowman's fat belly. The Snowman gave a chuckle, then picked Saito up by his magenta collar and tossed him into the wall. He hit it with an "oof!". The Snowman turned to Kenshin.
"Your turn, Skinny!" the Yellow Snowman yelled. Kenshin backed up, thinking of how to proceed. Saito stood up, rubbing his head. He ran over to his fallen Sakabatou and picked it up.
"Your body can't use its left hand!" Saito cried angrily at Kenshin. Kenshin grinned sheepishly.
"Yours can't move very fast," he said. Saito thought a moment.
"Talk me through the Ryu Tsui Sen, Battousai," Saito commanded. Kenshin looked at him with a puzzled expression.
"Okay, you have to jump really high and then hold the sword as far back as you can to get lots of speed on it so that when you bring it down on your opponent's head, it'll have more power," Kenshin said. "Hold it like a baseball bat!" Saito nodded, wondering what exactly baseball was and jumped up high into the air.
"Ummm... HITEN... uh... MITSERUGI STYLE, RYU TSUI SEN!" Saito yelled and crashed down on the Yellow Snowman. He bounced off of the blubbery man and hit the ground hard. He did, however, leave a small bruise on the Snowman's long, pointy nose.
"Ouch!" the Snowman yelped. "That hurt!"
"WHOO HOOOOOO!" a cheer came from the corner. All of the fighters turned to see Hiko leaning casually against the wall, drinking sake.
"Shishou?" Kenshin asked, bewildered. "How'd you get here?"
"I don't know," Hiko drawled. "I just appeared. But he's a better user of the Hiten Mitserugi Style than you, Baka Deshi!" Kenshin sweatdropped and gave Hiko an annoyed look.
"Not true!" he said. Hiko laughed until he was blue, then continued laughing 'till he passed out. Everyone sweatdropped except for Hiko, of course.
"What was that about, Battousai?" Saito asked, standing and rubbing his head. Kenshin shrugged.
"Shishou gets drunk every once and a while," Kenshin said. The Yellow Snowman gasped.
"YOU'RE HITOKIRI BATTOUSAI?" the Yellow Snowman asked. "WOW! I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE THAT TALL!" He gasped. Saito glared, then prepared for another Ryu Tsui Sen.
"No," Kenshin said, stopping him. "Let me fight." Saito looked at Kenshin with a skeptical look, but allowed him to proceed.
"COME ON, HITOKIRI!" the Yellow Snowman yelled. Kenshin stepped forward. "I'LL KILL YOU AND YOUR WEAKLING FRIEND TOO!"
"You will not!" Kenshin said. "You will not kill anyone!" The Yellow Snowman laughed.
"Then what'm I gonna do? Oh, I know, I'll take some of this holy water!" he dipped his hand into the water basin and scooped up a handful of water. He splashed it onto his face.
"STOP!" Kenshin yelled. The Snowman took another handful and splashed it onto his gi. Kenshin sheathed his sword and took a Battou-jutsu stance. Saito was about to act, but then something strange happened. Kenshin's (Saito's) four wispy bangs began to sway and turn an odd bright bluish, purplish color. Saito stared in awe as Kenshin's (Saito's) amber eyes glazed over and became a bright, shining yellow-gold. Every color on Kenshin intensified and he crouched down, an angry look taking over his body. Hiko just then sprang up.
"WOW! IT'S BATTOUSAI! WHEN DID HE GET HERE? WHERE DID KENSHIN GO?" Hiko asked. Then, the slurped some sake. Saito sweatdropped, then turned back to the fight. Kenshin started yelling and all of the dust, bits of grass, and stray leaves started swirling around the inside of the shrine. Saito watched, amused.
"OOOOHHHHH! So you're showing me your warrior's spirit! Your KI!" the Yellow Smowman exclaimed. "Well I'll show you mine!" He also began to glow and the room turned icy and yellow. Yellow liquid dripped from the ceiling and the basin of holy water froze over. Saito held his nose, nearly fainting from the smell.
"Uugh," Saito mumbled. "I can see why you're called the... YELLOW Snowman." Hiko laughed, then drank some more sake, which had turned yellow and icy. The Snowman lifted his sword and charged at Kenshin. Kenshin ran forward as well, hardly slipping on the icy floor. He unsheathed his sword with near- to-god-like speed and sliced through the Smowman. He fell to the floor, spewing yellow liquid.
"NO! I'm... MELTING!" the Snowman yelled. He ran out of the shrine and down to the river where he jumped into the cold water and drifted away, swearing to come back someday (Bum bum bum!). Kenshin glanced at Saito as the shrine became normal again.
"You ready?" Kenshin asked. Saito looked back at him.
"For what?"
"Drinking the holy water," Kenshin said. Saito nodded.
"Of course," he said. "I've been in your ugly body for long enough." Kenshin frowned at that, then took a handful of water in his hands. Saito copied.
"Ready? On three," Kenshin said, looking at Saito. "Three!" Saito would've sweatdropped if he had time, but he didn't so he quickly lifted his hands to his lips, watching Kenshin drink the water as well. They drank it quickly, then looked at each other.
"Nothing happened," Saito said. Kenshin stared at his hands, then started to sway.
"I feel sick," Kenshin said. Saito studied him, then realized that he couldn't focus on Kenshin's features.
"I do too... maybe the Smowman spiked the water..." Saito said. He knelt down as did Kenshin. Then there was a bright flash of light. Kenshin saw Saito slump to the floor. It was the last thing he saw before falling into unconsciousness.
A/N: Ha... that was pretty long, huh? Hmmm... well, I'm sorry. There IS one more chapter. It IS the last one, though, I promise! The funniness continues!!!
REVIEW RESPONSES:
S3r3nity: Hai, she is. And thank you.
MissBehavin: No, not final... sigh. Thought that it'd be too long, so I broke it into two chapters. Sigh... And as for where he bit her... I'll let you think about that. Imagination... And I tried to make Saito a really good actor. He is, after all, really good at pretending to be a nice policeman.
Aikawarazu Ai: Nope, didn't kill myself. You really DO hate Kaoru, huh? Oh well. I don't like her, but I don't have anything against her either.
Wounds: I don't know if I beat Kenshin up enough for you. Oh, did you like the final twist? Do you even know what it was? And it's okay if you babble a whole bunch, I don't really mind. As for where he bit her... I'll let you think about it. ^_^