*Note- From now on chapters will be in first person. In the first chapters,
they needed to be in third person, so I could describe the birth, and show
some of the other character's emotions. But now Helen's feelings will
become more complex and to show this I will need to use first person, which
I like better anyway. Hope you enjoy it! ^_^
Clytemnestra was angry with me for the next several days. Like a hawk, she watched me whenever I was around Achilles or Agamemnon, waiting for some hint that I was eager to accept their attentions. If she had gotten over her jealously, she would have seen that I did not care. I cannot deny that I enjoyed the feeling of being admired, but I did not want to pursue them like I saw some of the maidservants pursuing young men of all classes.
Achilles in particular showed interest in me, despite my young age. Whenever I approached, he would immediately launch into large tales describing his physical prowess, and on occasion flew his muscles. He was like a child; secure and confident in himself, and even at the age of twelve I recognized it. Alisa and Cassia were two of the many admires he gained in Sparta. I could not deny he was handsome. He looked exactly like I had pictured the great sun lord, Apollo. Clytemnestra never regained her original worship of the man, but she was forced to at least accept Agamemnon after she was betrothed.
I strongly disliked Agamemnon. Even after he was betrothed to my own sister, his eyes never once left me when I entered the room. Clytemnestra noticed this, and her behavior towards me grew vengeful. Whether her anger stemmed from jealousy, or fear of her impending marriage I never was quite sure. But I think now it was the latter. For on the night before she departed for Mycenae she poured out her heart to me.
We were both in her bed, savoring out last hours together. Absentmindedly I stroked her hair. I did not want her to leave me. She was my only sister, and the sibling with which I felt the strongest bond. She began to cry when I hugged her, but quietly so Alisa and Cassia would not make up from their pallets by the door.
"I don't want to go!" She sniffed.
I did not want her to go either, but to tell her so would have strengthened her resolve to stay. "Hush," I told her, "You are bound for a new, exciting life! You will be Queen of Mycenae, and wife of one of the most admired men today."
"Helen, I do not love him!" She protested, "and he does not love me. His attentions... wander."
It was thoughtful of her not to blame me. I suppose she was beginning to realize it was something I could not help and she did not want to spoil our last night together. "You will grow to love him," I whispered into her chestnut curls.
"No, I will not. There is something cold, detached about him that I don't like. It frightens me," she snuffled.
"At least you will get used to it," I replied softly. I did not speak from experience. I spoke merely to soothe. "Maybe you will not love your husband, but we can survive without love. Besides... love is silly. Look at what it does to people. I have seen countless country girls driving themselves crazy over unrequited love."
"Aphrodite should strike you down for saying such a thing! Love, Helen, is the best thing of life. It is true, it can drive us crazy. But it is a wonderful kind of insanity! You feel as if- as if- I don't know, the world revolves around you and the object of your desire. It's wonderful, Helen. All my life I have dreamed of marrying somebody I love, and now those dreams are lost... Lost like my freedom, and lost like Sparta and my family are now to me."
"You speak of love like one with experience," I said, probing her.
"There was a man, Helen, a couple months ago. I loved him, like I have loved no other. But he left, and now the only man in my life is stupid Agamemnon." New tears poured out of her eyes, leaving silver trails over her cheeks.
"Who was he?" I breathed. She had never mentioned anything...
"Aegisthus," She whispered, her eyes lightening in the moment she said his name.
"Ah, I remember... you were distant while he was here," I said, stroking her hair gently. Aegisthus had been a handsome man, and a very eager one at that.
"I am sorry... It was love that made me so. I was consumed, Helen. Little sister, if you are so lucky as to have love seek you out, do not turn it down. With Aegisthus I could have led a happy life, but for now I am consigned to marry I man I all but despise!"
I promised I would take advantage of love for her sake, but being a mere twelve years old I did not think to highly of the thing which poets praise. I still thought love was stupid. I had not met Paris then...
We fell asleep together, and I had a deep, dreamless sleep. No man was there to haunt me.
In the morning, Clytemnestra dry-eyed, but indifferent. Gone was the softness which had been revealed to me only the night before.
Clytemnestra was angry with me for the next several days. Like a hawk, she watched me whenever I was around Achilles or Agamemnon, waiting for some hint that I was eager to accept their attentions. If she had gotten over her jealously, she would have seen that I did not care. I cannot deny that I enjoyed the feeling of being admired, but I did not want to pursue them like I saw some of the maidservants pursuing young men of all classes.
Achilles in particular showed interest in me, despite my young age. Whenever I approached, he would immediately launch into large tales describing his physical prowess, and on occasion flew his muscles. He was like a child; secure and confident in himself, and even at the age of twelve I recognized it. Alisa and Cassia were two of the many admires he gained in Sparta. I could not deny he was handsome. He looked exactly like I had pictured the great sun lord, Apollo. Clytemnestra never regained her original worship of the man, but she was forced to at least accept Agamemnon after she was betrothed.
I strongly disliked Agamemnon. Even after he was betrothed to my own sister, his eyes never once left me when I entered the room. Clytemnestra noticed this, and her behavior towards me grew vengeful. Whether her anger stemmed from jealousy, or fear of her impending marriage I never was quite sure. But I think now it was the latter. For on the night before she departed for Mycenae she poured out her heart to me.
We were both in her bed, savoring out last hours together. Absentmindedly I stroked her hair. I did not want her to leave me. She was my only sister, and the sibling with which I felt the strongest bond. She began to cry when I hugged her, but quietly so Alisa and Cassia would not make up from their pallets by the door.
"I don't want to go!" She sniffed.
I did not want her to go either, but to tell her so would have strengthened her resolve to stay. "Hush," I told her, "You are bound for a new, exciting life! You will be Queen of Mycenae, and wife of one of the most admired men today."
"Helen, I do not love him!" She protested, "and he does not love me. His attentions... wander."
It was thoughtful of her not to blame me. I suppose she was beginning to realize it was something I could not help and she did not want to spoil our last night together. "You will grow to love him," I whispered into her chestnut curls.
"No, I will not. There is something cold, detached about him that I don't like. It frightens me," she snuffled.
"At least you will get used to it," I replied softly. I did not speak from experience. I spoke merely to soothe. "Maybe you will not love your husband, but we can survive without love. Besides... love is silly. Look at what it does to people. I have seen countless country girls driving themselves crazy over unrequited love."
"Aphrodite should strike you down for saying such a thing! Love, Helen, is the best thing of life. It is true, it can drive us crazy. But it is a wonderful kind of insanity! You feel as if- as if- I don't know, the world revolves around you and the object of your desire. It's wonderful, Helen. All my life I have dreamed of marrying somebody I love, and now those dreams are lost... Lost like my freedom, and lost like Sparta and my family are now to me."
"You speak of love like one with experience," I said, probing her.
"There was a man, Helen, a couple months ago. I loved him, like I have loved no other. But he left, and now the only man in my life is stupid Agamemnon." New tears poured out of her eyes, leaving silver trails over her cheeks.
"Who was he?" I breathed. She had never mentioned anything...
"Aegisthus," She whispered, her eyes lightening in the moment she said his name.
"Ah, I remember... you were distant while he was here," I said, stroking her hair gently. Aegisthus had been a handsome man, and a very eager one at that.
"I am sorry... It was love that made me so. I was consumed, Helen. Little sister, if you are so lucky as to have love seek you out, do not turn it down. With Aegisthus I could have led a happy life, but for now I am consigned to marry I man I all but despise!"
I promised I would take advantage of love for her sake, but being a mere twelve years old I did not think to highly of the thing which poets praise. I still thought love was stupid. I had not met Paris then...
We fell asleep together, and I had a deep, dreamless sleep. No man was there to haunt me.
In the morning, Clytemnestra dry-eyed, but indifferent. Gone was the softness which had been revealed to me only the night before.