Disclaimer: You should know where to find it by now.
As by now Legolas and Aragorn's arguments have become pretty formulaic (insult + comeback + another insult + disagreement over insult = author getting mad and splitting fight up) we'll skip straight to the making up.
"Sorry Legs."
"S'alright Arry."
I should do that more often. Anyway, the fire breathing thing was getting pretty fed up of our two heroines…I mean, heroes. After all, he couldn't skip to the end of their fight.
"I'll give you three seconds to get out of my lair."
Thankfully, they were smart enough to realise that no way could they take on an angry fire breathing thing with no weapons of any sort, and did the sensible thing. Ran.
They'd just got to the end of the tunnel when the fire breathing thing sent a spout of flame up it, which missed Legolas by a centimetre.
"Wow, that tunnel's grown. When we went down, all we could do was crawl, but just now we were able to run at full height up it!"
"…where's your hairnet gone, Legolas?"
"Oh, that? It disappeared shortly after we met."
"Maybe the Orcs took it."
"Maybe. I guess we'll never know."
Me: It's in your pocket Legolas. You took it off because you were afraid of looking like a girl.
"Oh. Right."
"Didn't really help." Aragorn sniggered.
Me: Shurrup Aragorn.
"Ok, sorry. We need a plan."
"Why?"
"So we can kill the fire breathing thing."
"Do we have to?"
"Err…well, I guess we could just put out the fire or something."
"I like the sound of that better."
"Ok, we'll just put out the fire. Erm, how?"
As if by magic, a fire extinguisher appeared hanging off the nearest tree.
"That's handy."
"Nope, it's a fire extinguisher."
On close inspection Aragorn discovered that it was, indeed a fire extinguisher.
"Wow!"
Legolas picked up the fire extinguisher and they headed down the hole, which had miraculously become smaller again.
"Why is it small again? We have to crawl now!"
Me: It only grew because you had 3 seconds to get out of it. Now it's small because you're not in such a hurry.
"Oh. That's not fair."
Me: Life isn't fair, my dear elf.
"And don't I know it.
Review Replies from me...
The Brite One - Leggs is getting picked on a bit, isn't he? Hmm, I should probably do something about that. Actually I won't, it's too funny to be gotten rid of.
True-To-Blue - Thanks! Sure, take the line. Aragorn is very pleased to hear you like him best. But Arwen is a bit worried. I think it was the thing about killing her. But I could be wrong.
Chibi Lauryn - Lol, I like the fire breathing thing too. And he's really useful when you have a load of candles to light.
c-marabini - Bad ff.net! Ah well, the most important this is that you found out in the end. Leggy's taken your advice about showing off a little too seriously; he keeps back flipping across the room.
Aragorn replies...
The Brite One - What would be the point in using my number? You'd only be able to speak to me. Do you really have your own phone too?
Legolas replies...
The Brite One - I hate that fire breathing thing. It has no respect at all for an elf. Do I detect a hint of sarcasm about my hair? Yes, you did mention I'm hot. Several times. But feel free to go on mentioning it.