The Diaries Of Johanna
Thursday 18 September-
Today, whilst I was gazing, as usual out of my window onto the town below,
I saw a rather remarkale sight. Past the little wicker cages of the
birdseller, past the tops of the green oak trees of the park, out in the
harbour...........I could just make out the mast of a great ship in out little
harbour. A new ship docked! How exciting!
I asked the Judge to allow me to stroll in the park so I could take a
better look at it, but he said that the town would be swarming with "randy
sailors" so I should not leave the house at all. Much annoyed at this, so
decided to pass time by singing to the birds.
Lo and behold, a sailor is standing beneath my window! I have never seen a
sailor this close in all my sixteen years. He wears a navy uniform, with
some stripes at the collar, and looks rather dashing.When I looked closer,
I could see that he was singing, so I strained my ears but could not make
out the words, and alas could not open the window for the Judge had
forbidden me to do so.
Oh, he must have stopped singing for he looked up and our eyes met, evoking
a sensation sweeter than the singing of a hundred larks. Oh horror! I drew
back when an ugly beggar woman jumped out at him, screeching hideously
"alms............alms......". So terrified was I that I withdrew from my window, and
drew the curtains.
Friday 19-September
Oh, horror, horror, horror! The Judge has just told me that he will marry
me Monday!! I can't, I shan't, I won't, I'd rather die!! I'll go to the
larder and get poison, oh, what to use, I think some lye.
He's been like a father to me, but now, oh, I could never marry him! He
came to me just then, to tell me that a sailor had been loitering around
Kearney's Lane and how he hoped that I had not encouraged him.......I told the
Judge that I thought him rather handsome, and hoped to go out and greet
him, and the Judge near burst with rage such as I have never seen before!
He told me that he would marry me Monday and that I would never leave the
house again. I could hear him singing merrily, always the same words:
"Johanna, Johanna,
I'll keep you here forever,
Johanna, Johanna,
The world will never touch you."
Well, I shall not marry him. I shall die without ever seeing the world
outside our little turn, without ever laughing or dancing, without ever
feeling the sweet embrace of a lover. But with death, I shall be free of my
gilded cage at last!
Saturday 20- September
Well, I am not dead. Soon after making my resolve to swallow poison, I
heard the sailor singing outside my window again. I opened my window,
against Judge Turpin's orders, and bade him to be silent. I quickly told
him of the situation, and explained that the Judge was out at court until
later in the night. He asked if he could come in, and I thew him down the
key.
Moments later I heard the pounding of his feet coming up the staircase, and
the turn of the key in the lock.
"Hello, Johanna."
"How do you know my name?" His voice was deep and resonant, his face even
more handsome than from a distance.
"I was told. What is happening?"
"I am going to posion myself"
He was horrified.
"Why?"
"Because the Judge is forcing me to marry him."
Despite the seriousness of the matter, I found myself breaking, as I so
often do, into song:
'' He means to marry me Monday,
What shall I do?
I'd rather die!
I'll swallow poison on Sunday,
That's what I'll do,
I'll get some lye''
He, to my great delight, launched into song as well-
"I have a plan"
"Oh, dear, what was that noise-"
"A plan"
"I think I heard a noise"
"A plan"
"It couldn't be,
He's in court,
He's in court today.
Still that was a noise,
Wasn't that a noise?
You must have heard that-"
"Kiss me."
"Oh, Sir"
"Ah, Miss"
"Oh, sir"
He quickly, in song, outlined a plan, where he would take me far away from
the house that very night. And then he kissed me.
Such a wonder I have never before felt.
I told him that I was in love with him, and he said that I would marry him
Monday, and not the Judge. And then we kissed again. He told me his name-
Anthony.
But I was still not totally convinced. What if the Judge should find out
and marry me earlier? So we decided to get married the next day, Saturday,
today. But it did not turn out.
By this morning I had packed my few belongings- my reticule, which was the
only thing my mother ever gave me before she died, a few of my gowns. Alas-
the Judge came storming in, telling me that Anthony had come into the
parlour in Fleet Street, where he was having a shave, telling the barber
that he would marry me Sunday, and that we would leave tonight.
The Judge told me that I would marry him or no one, and I replied that I
would rather die than marry him. He paced madly for some time, then
announced:
"Johanna, I have a place to keep you where the world will never touch you,
where you will stay until you repent".
Sunday, 21 September
That monster of a Judge has got me locked away in Fogg's Insane Asylum! I'm
trapped here, with all the screeching, gibbering maniacs of London! Worst
of all, Fogg, the owner, has a liking to me ( he told me himself) and told
me that if I wished, I could stay with him in his quarters instead of the
hospital. I knew his meaning well enough, and politley told him that I
would rather die! I think he took the point well enough, but I am a little
afraid, for he is a dirty, slimey man.
I take heart in believing that Anthony will come for me.....one day. I know
he will come, deep in my heart. He will come because I love him and love
changes everything.
Thursday 18 September-
Today, whilst I was gazing, as usual out of my window onto the town below,
I saw a rather remarkale sight. Past the little wicker cages of the
birdseller, past the tops of the green oak trees of the park, out in the
harbour...........I could just make out the mast of a great ship in out little
harbour. A new ship docked! How exciting!
I asked the Judge to allow me to stroll in the park so I could take a
better look at it, but he said that the town would be swarming with "randy
sailors" so I should not leave the house at all. Much annoyed at this, so
decided to pass time by singing to the birds.
Lo and behold, a sailor is standing beneath my window! I have never seen a
sailor this close in all my sixteen years. He wears a navy uniform, with
some stripes at the collar, and looks rather dashing.When I looked closer,
I could see that he was singing, so I strained my ears but could not make
out the words, and alas could not open the window for the Judge had
forbidden me to do so.
Oh, he must have stopped singing for he looked up and our eyes met, evoking
a sensation sweeter than the singing of a hundred larks. Oh horror! I drew
back when an ugly beggar woman jumped out at him, screeching hideously
"alms............alms......". So terrified was I that I withdrew from my window, and
drew the curtains.
Friday 19-September
Oh, horror, horror, horror! The Judge has just told me that he will marry
me Monday!! I can't, I shan't, I won't, I'd rather die!! I'll go to the
larder and get poison, oh, what to use, I think some lye.
He's been like a father to me, but now, oh, I could never marry him! He
came to me just then, to tell me that a sailor had been loitering around
Kearney's Lane and how he hoped that I had not encouraged him.......I told the
Judge that I thought him rather handsome, and hoped to go out and greet
him, and the Judge near burst with rage such as I have never seen before!
He told me that he would marry me Monday and that I would never leave the
house again. I could hear him singing merrily, always the same words:
"Johanna, Johanna,
I'll keep you here forever,
Johanna, Johanna,
The world will never touch you."
Well, I shall not marry him. I shall die without ever seeing the world
outside our little turn, without ever laughing or dancing, without ever
feeling the sweet embrace of a lover. But with death, I shall be free of my
gilded cage at last!
Saturday 20- September
Well, I am not dead. Soon after making my resolve to swallow poison, I
heard the sailor singing outside my window again. I opened my window,
against Judge Turpin's orders, and bade him to be silent. I quickly told
him of the situation, and explained that the Judge was out at court until
later in the night. He asked if he could come in, and I thew him down the
key.
Moments later I heard the pounding of his feet coming up the staircase, and
the turn of the key in the lock.
"Hello, Johanna."
"How do you know my name?" His voice was deep and resonant, his face even
more handsome than from a distance.
"I was told. What is happening?"
"I am going to posion myself"
He was horrified.
"Why?"
"Because the Judge is forcing me to marry him."
Despite the seriousness of the matter, I found myself breaking, as I so
often do, into song:
'' He means to marry me Monday,
What shall I do?
I'd rather die!
I'll swallow poison on Sunday,
That's what I'll do,
I'll get some lye''
He, to my great delight, launched into song as well-
"I have a plan"
"Oh, dear, what was that noise-"
"A plan"
"I think I heard a noise"
"A plan"
"It couldn't be,
He's in court,
He's in court today.
Still that was a noise,
Wasn't that a noise?
You must have heard that-"
"Kiss me."
"Oh, Sir"
"Ah, Miss"
"Oh, sir"
He quickly, in song, outlined a plan, where he would take me far away from
the house that very night. And then he kissed me.
Such a wonder I have never before felt.
I told him that I was in love with him, and he said that I would marry him
Monday, and not the Judge. And then we kissed again. He told me his name-
Anthony.
But I was still not totally convinced. What if the Judge should find out
and marry me earlier? So we decided to get married the next day, Saturday,
today. But it did not turn out.
By this morning I had packed my few belongings- my reticule, which was the
only thing my mother ever gave me before she died, a few of my gowns. Alas-
the Judge came storming in, telling me that Anthony had come into the
parlour in Fleet Street, where he was having a shave, telling the barber
that he would marry me Sunday, and that we would leave tonight.
The Judge told me that I would marry him or no one, and I replied that I
would rather die than marry him. He paced madly for some time, then
announced:
"Johanna, I have a place to keep you where the world will never touch you,
where you will stay until you repent".
Sunday, 21 September
That monster of a Judge has got me locked away in Fogg's Insane Asylum! I'm
trapped here, with all the screeching, gibbering maniacs of London! Worst
of all, Fogg, the owner, has a liking to me ( he told me himself) and told
me that if I wished, I could stay with him in his quarters instead of the
hospital. I knew his meaning well enough, and politley told him that I
would rather die! I think he took the point well enough, but I am a little
afraid, for he is a dirty, slimey man.
I take heart in believing that Anthony will come for me.....one day. I know
he will come, deep in my heart. He will come because I love him and love
changes everything.