(Thanks to everyone who gave me feedback! I loved it!-Lissa, FSKWTS
FanFics, Ginger, WhiteWolf3, Pootato and especially
PassionNever4GottenThannks2-(I tried to email you, bit it didn't work, my
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Part Ten-
I kept busy when I got home. I didn't want to think of the painting, the memories, or anything. I just wanted to lose myself in something so it would keep my mind off of everything. I walked like a zombie into the hotel and was oblivious to everyone and everything. Except Angel, who I saw gaze at me from his office. Didn't he ever go to sleep? I noticed Connor was gone and assumed his mother came and picked him up. Stupid witch. The phone was ringing annoyingly and I noticed Cordelia was not there to answer it, which I thought was strange because she seemed to take so much pride in answering the phone. She would practically bite anyone who tried to answer it before her, which was kind of funny. But now, it was still ringing and no one was going to answer it and it was giving me a headache.
"Hello?" I snapped into the phone.
I heard a sharp intake a breath, but no one said anything. That bothered me, making me angrier.
"Is anyone there?" I asked, sighing silently, this day was beginning to seem hellish.
"I-I." The voice stuttered, then they cleared their throat, "I think I called the wrong number, I needed Angel Investigations.but I don't think this is it." They babbled, it was a girl.
"No, you've got the right number, is there anyone you need to speak to?" I asked, leaning on the desk.
"I need to speak to Angel, tell him that its Dawn.can I ask who this is?" They, Dawn, asked.
Dawn.
Dawn.
I knew that name.
"This is Anne. Hold on a minute." I murmured, then looked at Angel, and yelled, "Angel!"
He looked up sharply and seemed to relax when he saw me on the phone. He gave me a questioning look.
"You have a phone call!"
I felt foolish screaming all the way across the room but I didn't know how to transfer calls.
He nodded and picked up his own phone. His expression became weary and he glanced at me. He then turned away from me, talking intensely.
I shook my head, not knowing or caring what the hell was going on. I need a nice long nap. I walked tiredly up the flights of stairs for which seemed like forever. I wonder if they have an elevator. I entered my apartment and just stood there staring at the closed French doors. In my minds eyes, I could see the ground below me, he portal gleaming invitingly, the girl bleeding before me.
"Stop it!" I screamed, willing and pleading the images to stop.
The edges of sanity seemed to blur in my mind and in a hysterical rage, I threw my backpack at the wall and heard the crash it made. Everything on that wall fell and smashed to pieces. Pictures, vases, and shelves hit the ground and I covered my ears. I opened my eyes and saw the hole in the wall. The glass on the ground sparkled in the afternoon light. I closed and locked my door, hoping no one had heard that. I needed Wes. I needed him to tell me that I wasn't insane, but he had been busy ever since we had come here. I sighed shakily and started to pick up the glass, not caring that some of it cut and lodged it into the flesh of my palms. Nor did I care about the blood that was dripping everywhere, making crimson splotches everywhere it fell.
The thought of just ending it all forced itself into my mind, but I quickly pushed it away. I had tried that before, but it didn't work. I remember the blood on the pallid tile floors, the way it had brought gruesome color into my bleak world.
No. That would be weak, and I hadn't survived years of a white walled hell just to kill myself when I was out and free. That would be stupid and I was neither stupid nor weak. I threw out the glass and walked out onto the balcony. I saw a cherry red convertible pull up and a blond lady with a small child walk out and into the hotel. Curiosity got the better of me and I went downstairs, forgetting about my bloody, glass splintered hands. I saw the women walk in, clutching the boys hands. The boy was Connor and the woman was none other than Darla. A flash of something that I didn't want to recognize went through me; jealousy.
"Angelus!" She yelled, her voice booming and echoing off the high walls and ceilings.
Angel rushed out, confused, "What are you doing here? Is Connor alright?" He asked, checking his little boy.
I couldn't help but find it adorable.
"Daddy!" Connor exclaimed when Angel lifted him up.
"What are you doing here, Darla?" Angel asked, his voice low.
I watched from the landing as she smiles saucily at him, "My dear boy, can't I spend some time with the father of my baby boy?" She purred.
Angel pushed her away gently and sighed, "Darla, what is it?"
She pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes, "Last night I was putting Connor to bed and he started to cry and scream about some women named 'Anna'. Is there a new women in your life, Angel? I donut want my son exposed to that."
Angel just glared at her, "Are you implying that you will take my son away from me?" He growled.
She laughed, "Not at all, darling. I don't want my son to see a woman with his Father except him Mother. I don't think it's too much to ask." Her lips were stretched back into a self-satisfied smirk, knowing that if Angel did not do what she wanted, she would take away his son. I saw right through her and I fumed. What kind of Mother would to that?
"So, you're saying that if Angel doesn't take your skank ass back, you'll take away his little boy? What kind of Mother are you?" I demanded coming down the stairs.
Both parents turned to see me. Angel looked panicked for a moment, Darla looked like she was seeing a ghost, then started to laugh.
"Oh. Oh my God, this is great." She laughed and sauntered over to me.
"Angel what is this?" She demanded.
"You brought back your little cheerleader? Little Buffy the Slayer? How's it feel to be back among the living?" She sneered.
"Darla!" Angel warned.
"I don't know what the hell your talking about." I smirked and stuck out my hand, "Name's Anne. It's not so nice to meet you."
She laughed her throaty little laugh again, and looked at Angel, "What the hell is going on?"
Connor noticed me and wriggled out of his Father's hold, "An-na!"
He ran up to me and wrapped his hands around my legs, almost making us toppled us over.
If looks were knives, I would be dead and bloody on the floor, from the glares I was getting from Darla's ice blue eyes.
"Connor, come here." She snapped and fumed when Connor buried his face deeper in my kakis and shook his head.
"Damn it Angel!" She yelled, "I will not let you let this cheerleader take my place! I am Connor's Mother!"
"I never said you weren't and I'm not trying to take your place." I said calmly, "I'm just wondering what kind of Mother would threaten to take their son away from their Father unless he let you back into his bed."
Her mouth dropped open at the realization that I had basically called her a slut, she rushed to me and slammed her fist into my face.
"You stupid bitch!" She hissed as I fell backwards, unprepared for her to hit me. Connor fell with me and I gently pushed him away and out of his Mother's target of wrath. I got back up and my hair fell into my face, "You wanna hit me again? Come on," I paused, "Bitch."
She let out a cry of fury and advanced on me again. I held up my fist prepared to strike her first when Angel came into the middle and I struck him in the side, right on his ribs. He sucked in a sharp breath and glared at both of us.
"Stop it right now." He barked, "You," He said, facing Darla, "She was holding Connor. What if you had hit him? Huh?" He demanded.
She seemed to shrink back and glared daggers at me.
"She. Didn't you hear her, the little bitch!" Darla hissed.
"Stop!" He roared, then turned to me, "I'll deal with you later." He hissed and led Darla and Connor into his office. I could see them yelling and Connor playing on Angel's desk. I rubbed my sore jaw and clenched my fists, feeling the splintered glass of it deeper. I let out of a small hiss and threw a punch at the wall behind me.
"Agh!" I screamed, punching it again and again watching the dry wall and wallpaper crumble off. When I had made a fairly decent hold and my knuckles were bloodied and raw, I ran upstairs, not going up to my room. I walked the long hallways and into some dusty unused ones. I found door at the end of one and entered it. There was a small stairway leading up. I followed it, not caring where I went. I had to open another door and found myself on a small Widows Walk. I walked out to the end and shivered at the cool wind that attacked me. I could see miles into the city; all the lights and roads. I wrapped my arms around myself and leaned over the edge, my heart starting to race at the prospect of falling.
*The wind whipped around me painfully, I could feel the pulsing on the portal. It called to me, beckoned me.
'Everyone you love dies.do you want to be responsible again?'
I could feel the burn of tears, see the image of the curly haired women dead on the couch, see the image of a dark haired girl falling off a rooftop and into a truck bed, blood pooling on her belly.
It called to me.
'It's your turn now.'*
I could feel myself leaning over the edge of the railing, farther and farther. Though, it was some sort of hallucination, I could still feel the power of the portal.
"No. Go away." I whispered as I stood upright again, closing my eyes, "Go away."
"Is that really what you want?"
I turned around and saw Angel closing the door, staring at me.
"Depends." I shrugged, "You going to lecture me?"
He leaned against the door and crossed his arms, "No, I'm not."
"And the surprises keep on coming." I murmured dryly, carefully leaning against the railing, "What do you want, Angel?"
"You shouldn't have jumped in the middle of Darla and I." Angel said, his eyes dark.
"Wasn't planning on it." I shrugged, "But, she threatened to take your son away, what kind of person is she?" I asked, scoffing.
"I wonder that sometimes too. Darla and I have a very long and tainted past. We were together at one time and she wants it like that again, using Connor as an excuse." He said, his voice pained and soft.
"If she's threatening to take away your son, how do you know she won't?" I asked him, hating the other blonde more and more.
Angel sighed, "It's an old argument between us. We weren't together, as a couple, when Connor was made. We didn't expect him at all, but we both love him very much. Darla is a good mother to him, despite how she acts to others. She won't take him away from me, because she knows if she does, I will hunt her down and I will kill her." Angel warned, his voice all serious, not joking at all.
I kind of laughed, "You've had experience with this before?" I asked him.
"What?"
"Killing people?"
He doesn't answer and I want to take it as a no. He's not a killer. I sigh and rub my hands together, I wince. They're still cut and stiff with dry blood.
"You're hurt." Angel says, coming forward, into the sunset light and takes my hands, gently probing them. I suck in a breath when he starts to rubs his thumbs in soothing circular motions.
"You said you weren't with Darla when you had Darla, why would you sleep with her if you weren't together?" I asked softly.
He gazed at me and I thought he wasn't going to answer me, but he did.
"I was in a bad state. She was there."
"Were you grieving?" I asked, my voice above a whisper.
He shook his head, "Not then."
He started to lean down and I held my breath, anticipating what was going to happen. I could feel his breath on my lips and smell his aftershave. My heart raced and my eyes were wide. It seemed to go in slow motion. His hand slipped around me to pull me closer and then under my tank top. His lips about to touch mine when.
"Angel!"
We both jumped apart when the door flew open and Faith stood there, her lips stretching into a cocky grin.
"Interrupting anything?" She smirked.
"Faith." His voice was rough and his eyes dark, "What do you want?"
"Dawn's here." She said, looking back and forth between us.
I stood frozen. He was about to kiss me, again.
Oh my God, would we ever finish it?
Angel glanced back at my quickly and then went downstairs.
"Did you an Angel kiss?" Faith asked.
I glared at her, "We were about too. You couldn't have waited five more minutes?" I asked, still feeling his cool hand pressed on my bare back.
She laughed as we descended down the stairs.
*
Faith and I made a stop at my room before we went downstairs. I washed my hands and put on a sweatshirt. I came out of the bedroom and saw her staring at the assassination I had done to the wall.
"What the fuck happened here?" Faith asked.
"Had a bad day."
I answered, shrugging on my sweat shirt walking over to her. Faith grabbed me by the chin and held the side of my face to the light.
"Who the hell decked you?" She demanded, a protective, big-sister like tone coming into her voice.
"Darla." I answered, my voice dripping with disdain.
"That bitch was here? I would have killed her." Faith said, letting me go and walking out the door.
"I was going too, but I accidentally punched Angel instead." I said a bit guiltily.
We were silent until we came to the landing where we hear yelling.
"Dawn, calm down!"
"Calm down? You tell me that my sister is alive and you want me to calm down, goddamn Angel!" A girl screamed.
From where I was, I could see that she had short golden brown hair and was pretty tall. Faith led me down there and we watched the girl.
"Why didn't anyone tell me?" The girl, Dawn, asked.
Angel sighed "It's not how you think. She's not the same person she's sixt- "
Faith cleared her throat loudly, causing everyone to turn at us.
The girl turned slowly and looked at me, "Oh my God. Buffy?"
I took a step back, shaking my head. That was the second time someone had called me by that name. Why were they calling me that a dead girl's name? Why?
The girl turned to Willow and screamed, "What did you do this time?!"
Willow seemed to care for this girl, "Dawn. I didn't. Not this time."
"Liar!"
"Lit'le bit, stop it." Spike said, coming forward and taking the girl into his arms.
I looked at Faith to see her reaction at Spike embracing this girl. She looked sad, but not angry.
"Why?" The girl, Dawn, cried, "Why isn't it her?"
She was taking about me, what did she mean? I didn't want to find out so I ran upstairs and slammed my door.
I didn't want to know, I didn't want to know anything. I jumped in the shower and tuned on the water so every trace of the crying girl was drowned out by the water.
*
Hours later, I had fallen asleep, hair wet and the sheets twisted around my legs. Even in my sleep, I felt the bed dip under foreign weight and something stroked my face. I awoke slowly, my eyes bleary and my mind disoriented. I looked up slowly to see Angel sitting by me, his hand on my face. I glanced over to the clock and saw it was a little past two in the morning.
"Angel? What's wrong?" I asked, sitting up.
Angel shook his head, "Nothing."
"Why are you here?" I asked him, pushing my hair out of my face.
"I just.needed to see you." He whispered.
I smiled a little, "Why?"
"You haunt me." He answered tenderly.
That kind of shocked me, but I still smiled.
"How do I haunt you?" I asked him.
"I can't stop thinking about you."
I was going to answer when he pulled me forward and kissed me. It wasn't slow, for fear of someone interrupting us again. His hands wrapped around me and mine around his neck. His lips were cool against mine, his tongue probing my mouth. His hands tangled in my hair, his lips never stopping to give me air. I didn't care. I felt like I was floating. Angel's mouth moved fervently and passionately.
"Angel." I moan softly and he stopped, cold.
"Anne." He said, almost as if realizing it was me.
"Who did you think it was?" I asked, breathing heavily.
"What are you doing?" He asked, his eyes wide.
I just gaped at him, "What am I doing.? Angel.you kissed me."
He moved quickly away from me, practically running away, "I can't. Anne.this shouldn't have happened."
"Why?" I demanded, awake and angry now, "Angel, it almost happened twice."
"And, it can't happen again. I'm older than you. You're too young and you don't know me." He was grasping at straws, avoiding my eyes.
*Tell me you don't love me!*
*I want my life to be with you!*
*I don't.*
*I love you, I try not too, but I can't stop*
*Dream on, schoolgirl.*
*I am not jealous!*
*This isn't some fairytale!*
*When you kiss me, I want to die.*
These images, feelings, and words slammed into my mind with such an overwhelming force that I stumbled where I stood. Everything I saw swarmed into colors and blurred images. More and More came, and I couldn't stop them.
*I love you.*
*Angel!*
*I thought you'd be taller.*
*I won't let you die!*
*I swear I was going to pay for that lipstick.*
*You have no idea what it's like to have done the things I've done. And to care.*
I sacrificed Angel to save the world. They kept coming, swelling into my brain and forcing their way to my mind.
"Stop!" I screamed, clutching my head.
Fragments of memories that were not mine ripped into my head, making me scream as if I was being ripped in two. I didn't know I was falling. I didn't know that I had climbed onto my bed in my hysteria and was now falling to the hardwood floor. I didn't know anything.
Except pain.
Pain and false memories.
Help me...
TBC
(Note: this is not the end. She will not remember and we are very far from the end.)
Part Ten-
I kept busy when I got home. I didn't want to think of the painting, the memories, or anything. I just wanted to lose myself in something so it would keep my mind off of everything. I walked like a zombie into the hotel and was oblivious to everyone and everything. Except Angel, who I saw gaze at me from his office. Didn't he ever go to sleep? I noticed Connor was gone and assumed his mother came and picked him up. Stupid witch. The phone was ringing annoyingly and I noticed Cordelia was not there to answer it, which I thought was strange because she seemed to take so much pride in answering the phone. She would practically bite anyone who tried to answer it before her, which was kind of funny. But now, it was still ringing and no one was going to answer it and it was giving me a headache.
"Hello?" I snapped into the phone.
I heard a sharp intake a breath, but no one said anything. That bothered me, making me angrier.
"Is anyone there?" I asked, sighing silently, this day was beginning to seem hellish.
"I-I." The voice stuttered, then they cleared their throat, "I think I called the wrong number, I needed Angel Investigations.but I don't think this is it." They babbled, it was a girl.
"No, you've got the right number, is there anyone you need to speak to?" I asked, leaning on the desk.
"I need to speak to Angel, tell him that its Dawn.can I ask who this is?" They, Dawn, asked.
Dawn.
Dawn.
I knew that name.
"This is Anne. Hold on a minute." I murmured, then looked at Angel, and yelled, "Angel!"
He looked up sharply and seemed to relax when he saw me on the phone. He gave me a questioning look.
"You have a phone call!"
I felt foolish screaming all the way across the room but I didn't know how to transfer calls.
He nodded and picked up his own phone. His expression became weary and he glanced at me. He then turned away from me, talking intensely.
I shook my head, not knowing or caring what the hell was going on. I need a nice long nap. I walked tiredly up the flights of stairs for which seemed like forever. I wonder if they have an elevator. I entered my apartment and just stood there staring at the closed French doors. In my minds eyes, I could see the ground below me, he portal gleaming invitingly, the girl bleeding before me.
"Stop it!" I screamed, willing and pleading the images to stop.
The edges of sanity seemed to blur in my mind and in a hysterical rage, I threw my backpack at the wall and heard the crash it made. Everything on that wall fell and smashed to pieces. Pictures, vases, and shelves hit the ground and I covered my ears. I opened my eyes and saw the hole in the wall. The glass on the ground sparkled in the afternoon light. I closed and locked my door, hoping no one had heard that. I needed Wes. I needed him to tell me that I wasn't insane, but he had been busy ever since we had come here. I sighed shakily and started to pick up the glass, not caring that some of it cut and lodged it into the flesh of my palms. Nor did I care about the blood that was dripping everywhere, making crimson splotches everywhere it fell.
The thought of just ending it all forced itself into my mind, but I quickly pushed it away. I had tried that before, but it didn't work. I remember the blood on the pallid tile floors, the way it had brought gruesome color into my bleak world.
No. That would be weak, and I hadn't survived years of a white walled hell just to kill myself when I was out and free. That would be stupid and I was neither stupid nor weak. I threw out the glass and walked out onto the balcony. I saw a cherry red convertible pull up and a blond lady with a small child walk out and into the hotel. Curiosity got the better of me and I went downstairs, forgetting about my bloody, glass splintered hands. I saw the women walk in, clutching the boys hands. The boy was Connor and the woman was none other than Darla. A flash of something that I didn't want to recognize went through me; jealousy.
"Angelus!" She yelled, her voice booming and echoing off the high walls and ceilings.
Angel rushed out, confused, "What are you doing here? Is Connor alright?" He asked, checking his little boy.
I couldn't help but find it adorable.
"Daddy!" Connor exclaimed when Angel lifted him up.
"What are you doing here, Darla?" Angel asked, his voice low.
I watched from the landing as she smiles saucily at him, "My dear boy, can't I spend some time with the father of my baby boy?" She purred.
Angel pushed her away gently and sighed, "Darla, what is it?"
She pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes, "Last night I was putting Connor to bed and he started to cry and scream about some women named 'Anna'. Is there a new women in your life, Angel? I donut want my son exposed to that."
Angel just glared at her, "Are you implying that you will take my son away from me?" He growled.
She laughed, "Not at all, darling. I don't want my son to see a woman with his Father except him Mother. I don't think it's too much to ask." Her lips were stretched back into a self-satisfied smirk, knowing that if Angel did not do what she wanted, she would take away his son. I saw right through her and I fumed. What kind of Mother would to that?
"So, you're saying that if Angel doesn't take your skank ass back, you'll take away his little boy? What kind of Mother are you?" I demanded coming down the stairs.
Both parents turned to see me. Angel looked panicked for a moment, Darla looked like she was seeing a ghost, then started to laugh.
"Oh. Oh my God, this is great." She laughed and sauntered over to me.
"Angel what is this?" She demanded.
"You brought back your little cheerleader? Little Buffy the Slayer? How's it feel to be back among the living?" She sneered.
"Darla!" Angel warned.
"I don't know what the hell your talking about." I smirked and stuck out my hand, "Name's Anne. It's not so nice to meet you."
She laughed her throaty little laugh again, and looked at Angel, "What the hell is going on?"
Connor noticed me and wriggled out of his Father's hold, "An-na!"
He ran up to me and wrapped his hands around my legs, almost making us toppled us over.
If looks were knives, I would be dead and bloody on the floor, from the glares I was getting from Darla's ice blue eyes.
"Connor, come here." She snapped and fumed when Connor buried his face deeper in my kakis and shook his head.
"Damn it Angel!" She yelled, "I will not let you let this cheerleader take my place! I am Connor's Mother!"
"I never said you weren't and I'm not trying to take your place." I said calmly, "I'm just wondering what kind of Mother would threaten to take their son away from their Father unless he let you back into his bed."
Her mouth dropped open at the realization that I had basically called her a slut, she rushed to me and slammed her fist into my face.
"You stupid bitch!" She hissed as I fell backwards, unprepared for her to hit me. Connor fell with me and I gently pushed him away and out of his Mother's target of wrath. I got back up and my hair fell into my face, "You wanna hit me again? Come on," I paused, "Bitch."
She let out a cry of fury and advanced on me again. I held up my fist prepared to strike her first when Angel came into the middle and I struck him in the side, right on his ribs. He sucked in a sharp breath and glared at both of us.
"Stop it right now." He barked, "You," He said, facing Darla, "She was holding Connor. What if you had hit him? Huh?" He demanded.
She seemed to shrink back and glared daggers at me.
"She. Didn't you hear her, the little bitch!" Darla hissed.
"Stop!" He roared, then turned to me, "I'll deal with you later." He hissed and led Darla and Connor into his office. I could see them yelling and Connor playing on Angel's desk. I rubbed my sore jaw and clenched my fists, feeling the splintered glass of it deeper. I let out of a small hiss and threw a punch at the wall behind me.
"Agh!" I screamed, punching it again and again watching the dry wall and wallpaper crumble off. When I had made a fairly decent hold and my knuckles were bloodied and raw, I ran upstairs, not going up to my room. I walked the long hallways and into some dusty unused ones. I found door at the end of one and entered it. There was a small stairway leading up. I followed it, not caring where I went. I had to open another door and found myself on a small Widows Walk. I walked out to the end and shivered at the cool wind that attacked me. I could see miles into the city; all the lights and roads. I wrapped my arms around myself and leaned over the edge, my heart starting to race at the prospect of falling.
*The wind whipped around me painfully, I could feel the pulsing on the portal. It called to me, beckoned me.
'Everyone you love dies.do you want to be responsible again?'
I could feel the burn of tears, see the image of the curly haired women dead on the couch, see the image of a dark haired girl falling off a rooftop and into a truck bed, blood pooling on her belly.
It called to me.
'It's your turn now.'*
I could feel myself leaning over the edge of the railing, farther and farther. Though, it was some sort of hallucination, I could still feel the power of the portal.
"No. Go away." I whispered as I stood upright again, closing my eyes, "Go away."
"Is that really what you want?"
I turned around and saw Angel closing the door, staring at me.
"Depends." I shrugged, "You going to lecture me?"
He leaned against the door and crossed his arms, "No, I'm not."
"And the surprises keep on coming." I murmured dryly, carefully leaning against the railing, "What do you want, Angel?"
"You shouldn't have jumped in the middle of Darla and I." Angel said, his eyes dark.
"Wasn't planning on it." I shrugged, "But, she threatened to take your son away, what kind of person is she?" I asked, scoffing.
"I wonder that sometimes too. Darla and I have a very long and tainted past. We were together at one time and she wants it like that again, using Connor as an excuse." He said, his voice pained and soft.
"If she's threatening to take away your son, how do you know she won't?" I asked him, hating the other blonde more and more.
Angel sighed, "It's an old argument between us. We weren't together, as a couple, when Connor was made. We didn't expect him at all, but we both love him very much. Darla is a good mother to him, despite how she acts to others. She won't take him away from me, because she knows if she does, I will hunt her down and I will kill her." Angel warned, his voice all serious, not joking at all.
I kind of laughed, "You've had experience with this before?" I asked him.
"What?"
"Killing people?"
He doesn't answer and I want to take it as a no. He's not a killer. I sigh and rub my hands together, I wince. They're still cut and stiff with dry blood.
"You're hurt." Angel says, coming forward, into the sunset light and takes my hands, gently probing them. I suck in a breath when he starts to rubs his thumbs in soothing circular motions.
"You said you weren't with Darla when you had Darla, why would you sleep with her if you weren't together?" I asked softly.
He gazed at me and I thought he wasn't going to answer me, but he did.
"I was in a bad state. She was there."
"Were you grieving?" I asked, my voice above a whisper.
He shook his head, "Not then."
He started to lean down and I held my breath, anticipating what was going to happen. I could feel his breath on my lips and smell his aftershave. My heart raced and my eyes were wide. It seemed to go in slow motion. His hand slipped around me to pull me closer and then under my tank top. His lips about to touch mine when.
"Angel!"
We both jumped apart when the door flew open and Faith stood there, her lips stretching into a cocky grin.
"Interrupting anything?" She smirked.
"Faith." His voice was rough and his eyes dark, "What do you want?"
"Dawn's here." She said, looking back and forth between us.
I stood frozen. He was about to kiss me, again.
Oh my God, would we ever finish it?
Angel glanced back at my quickly and then went downstairs.
"Did you an Angel kiss?" Faith asked.
I glared at her, "We were about too. You couldn't have waited five more minutes?" I asked, still feeling his cool hand pressed on my bare back.
She laughed as we descended down the stairs.
*
Faith and I made a stop at my room before we went downstairs. I washed my hands and put on a sweatshirt. I came out of the bedroom and saw her staring at the assassination I had done to the wall.
"What the fuck happened here?" Faith asked.
"Had a bad day."
I answered, shrugging on my sweat shirt walking over to her. Faith grabbed me by the chin and held the side of my face to the light.
"Who the hell decked you?" She demanded, a protective, big-sister like tone coming into her voice.
"Darla." I answered, my voice dripping with disdain.
"That bitch was here? I would have killed her." Faith said, letting me go and walking out the door.
"I was going too, but I accidentally punched Angel instead." I said a bit guiltily.
We were silent until we came to the landing where we hear yelling.
"Dawn, calm down!"
"Calm down? You tell me that my sister is alive and you want me to calm down, goddamn Angel!" A girl screamed.
From where I was, I could see that she had short golden brown hair and was pretty tall. Faith led me down there and we watched the girl.
"Why didn't anyone tell me?" The girl, Dawn, asked.
Angel sighed "It's not how you think. She's not the same person she's sixt- "
Faith cleared her throat loudly, causing everyone to turn at us.
The girl turned slowly and looked at me, "Oh my God. Buffy?"
I took a step back, shaking my head. That was the second time someone had called me by that name. Why were they calling me that a dead girl's name? Why?
The girl turned to Willow and screamed, "What did you do this time?!"
Willow seemed to care for this girl, "Dawn. I didn't. Not this time."
"Liar!"
"Lit'le bit, stop it." Spike said, coming forward and taking the girl into his arms.
I looked at Faith to see her reaction at Spike embracing this girl. She looked sad, but not angry.
"Why?" The girl, Dawn, cried, "Why isn't it her?"
She was taking about me, what did she mean? I didn't want to find out so I ran upstairs and slammed my door.
I didn't want to know, I didn't want to know anything. I jumped in the shower and tuned on the water so every trace of the crying girl was drowned out by the water.
*
Hours later, I had fallen asleep, hair wet and the sheets twisted around my legs. Even in my sleep, I felt the bed dip under foreign weight and something stroked my face. I awoke slowly, my eyes bleary and my mind disoriented. I looked up slowly to see Angel sitting by me, his hand on my face. I glanced over to the clock and saw it was a little past two in the morning.
"Angel? What's wrong?" I asked, sitting up.
Angel shook his head, "Nothing."
"Why are you here?" I asked him, pushing my hair out of my face.
"I just.needed to see you." He whispered.
I smiled a little, "Why?"
"You haunt me." He answered tenderly.
That kind of shocked me, but I still smiled.
"How do I haunt you?" I asked him.
"I can't stop thinking about you."
I was going to answer when he pulled me forward and kissed me. It wasn't slow, for fear of someone interrupting us again. His hands wrapped around me and mine around his neck. His lips were cool against mine, his tongue probing my mouth. His hands tangled in my hair, his lips never stopping to give me air. I didn't care. I felt like I was floating. Angel's mouth moved fervently and passionately.
"Angel." I moan softly and he stopped, cold.
"Anne." He said, almost as if realizing it was me.
"Who did you think it was?" I asked, breathing heavily.
"What are you doing?" He asked, his eyes wide.
I just gaped at him, "What am I doing.? Angel.you kissed me."
He moved quickly away from me, practically running away, "I can't. Anne.this shouldn't have happened."
"Why?" I demanded, awake and angry now, "Angel, it almost happened twice."
"And, it can't happen again. I'm older than you. You're too young and you don't know me." He was grasping at straws, avoiding my eyes.
*Tell me you don't love me!*
*I want my life to be with you!*
*I don't.*
*I love you, I try not too, but I can't stop*
*Dream on, schoolgirl.*
*I am not jealous!*
*This isn't some fairytale!*
*When you kiss me, I want to die.*
These images, feelings, and words slammed into my mind with such an overwhelming force that I stumbled where I stood. Everything I saw swarmed into colors and blurred images. More and More came, and I couldn't stop them.
*I love you.*
*Angel!*
*I thought you'd be taller.*
*I won't let you die!*
*I swear I was going to pay for that lipstick.*
*You have no idea what it's like to have done the things I've done. And to care.*
I sacrificed Angel to save the world. They kept coming, swelling into my brain and forcing their way to my mind.
"Stop!" I screamed, clutching my head.
Fragments of memories that were not mine ripped into my head, making me scream as if I was being ripped in two. I didn't know I was falling. I didn't know that I had climbed onto my bed in my hysteria and was now falling to the hardwood floor. I didn't know anything.
Except pain.
Pain and false memories.
Help me...
TBC
(Note: this is not the end. She will not remember and we are very far from the end.)