Disclaimer, I don't own anything. Stargate SG-1 remains the property of
MGM. Although any original characters or storylines are mine. No money has
or will exchange hands. thanx
Priorities. By Arami Heartilly.
He's here and alive and everything is going to be fine. Well so Sam had been trying to tell herself for the last few hours and she still didn't believe it. That and all the things that he'd been through, if she even thought about it she knew she couldn't cope - the deep desire to care for him would take over.
The look on his face as she left the room after leaving the water was so painful - all she wanted was to stay there with him but instead she was stood outside the infirmary and had been for the last 10 minutes. Her will power had kept her from opening the door but her heart had stopped her from walking away.
"Hey Sam." Janet said quietly as she joined her outside the door. She had a pretty good idea what was going through her friends mind.
"Hey Janet." Sams voice was quiet and it was obvious that she was struggling with her feelings, scared to show how she felt, scared of what the military would do but also very scared of what she could loose and who she nearly had.
"You know he could really do with a friend right now." Janets voice was kind and Sam only wished that she could agree.
"He's asleep Janet." She replied.
"I know but he's having nightmares and he keeps waking up - I can't stay all night and I'd hate him to wake up to a nurse he's never met before." Sam could take the hint although if needs be Janet was going to spell it out.
Sam was very quiet and Janet guessed that she must be arguing in her own head. "I don't know if I should Janet." There was a frustration in her voice and Janet knew that she didn't believe it even as she said it.
"The military isn't everything Sam." Janet was quiet as she spoke and Sam looked directly at her.
"I know that Janet but if I do this, I know it won't stop there." Sam was shaking her head and it was easy to see that she was in a lot of pain, torn towards the desire to help a man very close to her heart and the military protocol that had been drummed into her head.
"And that would be a problem why?"
"Janet!" Sam's voice was sharp and surprised as she looked at her friend.
"You mean to tell me that your happy with the way it is now - either of you?" Sam shook her head. "Sam look, it's one night and he needs you." Janet gave Sam a look and finally Sam gave in to what she had wanted to do all along.
"OK fine I'll stay-" but Janet cut Sam off before she could change her mind.
"Good because I made up a bed for you so you can rest while he's asleep.
"Thanks Janet." And with that Sam opened the door, taking a deep breath and although she knew she should have been telling herself to be careful she wasn't because as she walked through that door she left the military behind.
* "God No!" Jack shouted as he bolted upright and awake, he was in a cold sweat and it took him a few seconds to realise where he was.
Sam, on the next bed to him stirred from her sleep and looked over at him, she swung her legs off the bed where she'd been sleeping for the last few hours and walked over to Jack, ruffling her hair with her hand.
He turned and stared at her, trying to figure out if she was really there or just a cruel tormenting image to fool his mind. Sam could see the pain and fear in his eyes.
"Oh my God." She whispered. Then getting back her self-control. "It's me, I'm real and your safe." By now she was stood next to him and she put her hand gently on his wrist to reassure him - she'd never seen him like this - so helpless and so scared.
"Sam?" his voice was shakey and unsure.
"Yeah it's me and your safe." As the words left her mouth he put his arms around her and held her close, holding on to what was real. She held him just as close letting him know that it was OK and that she'd be there for him.
"I thought I'd never..." he managed to say into her ear as he held her. "God Sam, if it wasn't for you...." She closed her eyes as he spoke - it hadn't really hit her just how close she had come to loosing him and Sam knew that she didn't want to let go.
"You're safe." she whispered again - they were the only words that she could say but there were so many more in her heart.
Sam felt wet tears against her neck and seeping through her shirt, her heart welled and although she was sat there as close to him as possible and feeling him hold her tight she felt as though nothing she could do would really help him in the way that she wanted to - not like this. Sam regretted years of suppressed emotions and was beginning to realise that the military regulations, for all their good intent were wrong and if she was honest her priorities were with Jack and she knew something would have to change so she could get her priorities the way she wanted. She felt Jack pull back slightly and she looked up at him - there were tears in his eyes and it shocked her because he never cried.
"Sam.... I - I'm OK now." although she doubted his words she nodded and took her arms from around him.
"OK, try and get some sleep Jack." She said softly as she moved off the bed and towards the next. Jack lay down; he felt more at peace than he had in weeks - years even, her presence hadn't just relieved the pain of the last week but it had changed something more profound, something that had needed to be changed for a long time.
As Sam went to her own bed she stopped and a thought crossed her mind, she turned around and walked back to Jacks bed - he looked up at her as she sat down and lowered herself next to him. "You need someone here." was all she said and he continued to look at her, he was searching her eyes for some sort of explanation.
"And you're here." he said almost as if he didn't believe that this was real, he wanted it to be so much.
"No Jack, here." Sam motioned towards the bed, she wanted to be close to him nothing more and nothing less and she knew by the hope that flickered in his eyes that he wanted the same thing - to be in the arms of somebody you loved and who loved you in return.
"You sure?" he asked.
"Jack just let me be here with you." There was so much emotion in her voice and her eyes that he felt tears once more and he took her hand, feeling her warm fingers clasp his own.
She smiled at him reassuringly as she sank down next to him on the bed, she didn't let go of his hand even as they lay there face to face. He put his arm behind her head and around her shoulders. Sam leaned into his hold on her and they were so close that their heads were touching. She could see right into his eyes and he had never looked so vulnerable.
Being that close just felt so right and as if Sam was finally doing what she'd always been meant to. So as they both drifted off into sleep once more they knew there'd be no more nightmares or pain for the rest of the night.
I'm putting the next one up as soon as I can, please review but no flames please.
Priorities. By Arami Heartilly.
He's here and alive and everything is going to be fine. Well so Sam had been trying to tell herself for the last few hours and she still didn't believe it. That and all the things that he'd been through, if she even thought about it she knew she couldn't cope - the deep desire to care for him would take over.
The look on his face as she left the room after leaving the water was so painful - all she wanted was to stay there with him but instead she was stood outside the infirmary and had been for the last 10 minutes. Her will power had kept her from opening the door but her heart had stopped her from walking away.
"Hey Sam." Janet said quietly as she joined her outside the door. She had a pretty good idea what was going through her friends mind.
"Hey Janet." Sams voice was quiet and it was obvious that she was struggling with her feelings, scared to show how she felt, scared of what the military would do but also very scared of what she could loose and who she nearly had.
"You know he could really do with a friend right now." Janets voice was kind and Sam only wished that she could agree.
"He's asleep Janet." She replied.
"I know but he's having nightmares and he keeps waking up - I can't stay all night and I'd hate him to wake up to a nurse he's never met before." Sam could take the hint although if needs be Janet was going to spell it out.
Sam was very quiet and Janet guessed that she must be arguing in her own head. "I don't know if I should Janet." There was a frustration in her voice and Janet knew that she didn't believe it even as she said it.
"The military isn't everything Sam." Janet was quiet as she spoke and Sam looked directly at her.
"I know that Janet but if I do this, I know it won't stop there." Sam was shaking her head and it was easy to see that she was in a lot of pain, torn towards the desire to help a man very close to her heart and the military protocol that had been drummed into her head.
"And that would be a problem why?"
"Janet!" Sam's voice was sharp and surprised as she looked at her friend.
"You mean to tell me that your happy with the way it is now - either of you?" Sam shook her head. "Sam look, it's one night and he needs you." Janet gave Sam a look and finally Sam gave in to what she had wanted to do all along.
"OK fine I'll stay-" but Janet cut Sam off before she could change her mind.
"Good because I made up a bed for you so you can rest while he's asleep.
"Thanks Janet." And with that Sam opened the door, taking a deep breath and although she knew she should have been telling herself to be careful she wasn't because as she walked through that door she left the military behind.
* "God No!" Jack shouted as he bolted upright and awake, he was in a cold sweat and it took him a few seconds to realise where he was.
Sam, on the next bed to him stirred from her sleep and looked over at him, she swung her legs off the bed where she'd been sleeping for the last few hours and walked over to Jack, ruffling her hair with her hand.
He turned and stared at her, trying to figure out if she was really there or just a cruel tormenting image to fool his mind. Sam could see the pain and fear in his eyes.
"Oh my God." She whispered. Then getting back her self-control. "It's me, I'm real and your safe." By now she was stood next to him and she put her hand gently on his wrist to reassure him - she'd never seen him like this - so helpless and so scared.
"Sam?" his voice was shakey and unsure.
"Yeah it's me and your safe." As the words left her mouth he put his arms around her and held her close, holding on to what was real. She held him just as close letting him know that it was OK and that she'd be there for him.
"I thought I'd never..." he managed to say into her ear as he held her. "God Sam, if it wasn't for you...." She closed her eyes as he spoke - it hadn't really hit her just how close she had come to loosing him and Sam knew that she didn't want to let go.
"You're safe." she whispered again - they were the only words that she could say but there were so many more in her heart.
Sam felt wet tears against her neck and seeping through her shirt, her heart welled and although she was sat there as close to him as possible and feeling him hold her tight she felt as though nothing she could do would really help him in the way that she wanted to - not like this. Sam regretted years of suppressed emotions and was beginning to realise that the military regulations, for all their good intent were wrong and if she was honest her priorities were with Jack and she knew something would have to change so she could get her priorities the way she wanted. She felt Jack pull back slightly and she looked up at him - there were tears in his eyes and it shocked her because he never cried.
"Sam.... I - I'm OK now." although she doubted his words she nodded and took her arms from around him.
"OK, try and get some sleep Jack." She said softly as she moved off the bed and towards the next. Jack lay down; he felt more at peace than he had in weeks - years even, her presence hadn't just relieved the pain of the last week but it had changed something more profound, something that had needed to be changed for a long time.
As Sam went to her own bed she stopped and a thought crossed her mind, she turned around and walked back to Jacks bed - he looked up at her as she sat down and lowered herself next to him. "You need someone here." was all she said and he continued to look at her, he was searching her eyes for some sort of explanation.
"And you're here." he said almost as if he didn't believe that this was real, he wanted it to be so much.
"No Jack, here." Sam motioned towards the bed, she wanted to be close to him nothing more and nothing less and she knew by the hope that flickered in his eyes that he wanted the same thing - to be in the arms of somebody you loved and who loved you in return.
"You sure?" he asked.
"Jack just let me be here with you." There was so much emotion in her voice and her eyes that he felt tears once more and he took her hand, feeling her warm fingers clasp his own.
She smiled at him reassuringly as she sank down next to him on the bed, she didn't let go of his hand even as they lay there face to face. He put his arm behind her head and around her shoulders. Sam leaned into his hold on her and they were so close that their heads were touching. She could see right into his eyes and he had never looked so vulnerable.
Being that close just felt so right and as if Sam was finally doing what she'd always been meant to. So as they both drifted off into sleep once more they knew there'd be no more nightmares or pain for the rest of the night.
I'm putting the next one up as soon as I can, please review but no flames please.