Part Eighteen

Head pounding, I opened my eyes and shivered. I could hear beeping noises, could feel cold air blowing from a vent above me, and the smell of antiseptics in the air. My body felt stiff and limp at the same time. I slowly turned my head to the door and saw little monitors hooked up to me. My head felt heavy and full of cotton. The sheets below me were itchy and thin.

I looked into the chair and saw Faith sitting there, her eyes were closed. Her head was propped up by her hand. She looked like hell. Her eyes were red rimmed and her face pale. In the faint florescent lighting, I thought I could see faint tear tracks.

There was an air mask covering my mouth. The air was flowing down my throat. I coughed sending me a reminder that my throat was raw and sore. I tried to sit up and an intense dizzy spell came over me. I slumped into my pillows and fell limp.

"Serves you right," A tired voice mumbled.

I looked and saw Faith looking at me, her hand still propped up by her hand.

"What?" I rasped, just slightly out of it.

"I hope you're dizzy. I hope the room spins," She whispered, her voice unsteady.

I saw her eyes were bloodshot. They were tear-filled. Her mouth was set in an angry line.

"What?" I repeated.

"You've been in a coma for two days," Faith told me softly. "At the hotel, you stopped breathing. You're face turned blue and I started CPR."

A sudden image of Faith hovering above me, crying, screaming, and demanding that I breathe, flashed into my mind.

"What happened?" I asked her quietly.

"I made you breathe again. An ambulance came, and you stopped again. You went into cardiac arrest. They shocked you," Her eyes glazed, she wasn't speaking to me any more. She was reliving it. "They shocked you. You're body jumped. You eyes were open. You didn't respond so they did it again. I screamed. They weren't helping you! Angel held me back, he was crying. They wheeled you into the emergency room and we didn't know what the hell was going on. It took them two hours to do whatever they did, and in they end, you weren't even awake," Her voice trailed off and she met my eyes again. "If you ever, ever scare me like that again, I swear to God, I will kill you myself!" She got up and hugged me.

I didn't know what to do, so I just lay there, quietly. She pulled back and smiled a watery smile. This was raw emotion I was seeing from her. It scared me to see her like this. Throughout the day, as much as I was awake for it, she was there; she was there for me being Protective like an older sister would do. She wasn't letting anyone come and visit and I just want to reach out and hug her for loving me. Later on, I opened my eyes to hear Faith and Angel in midst of a fight.

"Let me see her, Faith," Angel said slowly, firmly.

"Hell no!" Faith hissed angrily. "She almost died 48 hours ago, Angel. She does not need this."

"And, who are you to decide?" Angel asked.

"I'm protecting her, damn it! You can't, so I have too!" Faith hissed furiously.

"You think I'm not protecting her?" Angel demanded. "You think that I don't lie awake at night, fearing that something will happen if I close my eyes. You think I don't hate it when she goes to school because I can't be there to protect her?!" Angel soft voice edged quiet hysteria. "I can't lose her again, Faith. Damn it, I can't."

I thought I heard tears in his voice. I slowly turned my head, bracing for the pain, and looked over at them. Angel's head was down, his eyes cast to the floor.

"It almost killed me when she died, Faith. I wish I would have died. But Anne is my chance. My hope…. I can't lose her, Faith, I can't."

I wanted desperately to hear more, but I couldn't keep my eyes open. And once again, I tumbled into the dark abyss of dreams.

*

I was standing in a field. The grass was burnt and blood stained. There were soot covered skeletons of house in my view. Corpses of humans and demons alike lay motionless, scattered everywhere. I saw another figure. A tall man, donned in a black leather duster and boots.

"Angel," I called to him.

He didn't turn or even acknowledge that he had heard me. I walked, feeling sick as my bare feet squished in remains and soot, toward him. I grabbed his shoulder.

"Angel!"

He shrugged me off, staring at something I couldn't see from the angle. I moved from behind him and saw a gravestone.

Buffy Anne Summers

1981-2001

Beloved Sister

Devoted Friend

She Saved The World

A Lot

I flinched a bit, not expecting to see that. The wind blew and I shivered. It was bitterly cold in my dream. I wrapped my arms around myself and stood next to Angel. He breathed heavily, it sounding more like wheezing.

"Damn girl," He finally said, his voice edge with hate, or was it angry love?

"What?" I asked him.

"The one thing I always wanted to do was kill her. I wanted her to die by my hand. But, she was too stubborn for that. Then, we wanted her to die old and safe in her bed. She was too damn stubborn for that, too!" He yelled.

I caught the 'we' he said, but didn't comment on it. He turned to look at me and I was shocked to see his eyes weren't the ones I was accustomed too. These eyes were cold, angry, but still full of feeling.

"You're not Angel…are you?" I asked him slowly.

"Can't say I am, Princess," He murmured as he traced my cheek lightly.

"Who are you?" I asked him, feeling scared but safe at the same time.

"You know who I am," He answered.

"Cryptic much?" I asked him frustrated.

He turned away with a harsh sigh.

"It's just like her, you know?" He yelled to me. "She always had to do everything her own way."

"Buffy?" I asked him.

"Who the hell else?" He asked me.

"Did you love her?" I asked him.

He looked at me. "Everyone who met her loved her." He said.

"Did she love you?" I asked.

"No," He said. "She wanted to kill me. She loved Angel."

"If you're not Angel, who are you?" I asked him.

"What is this?" He demanded. "20 questions? I'm Angel's alter ego. His own big bad."

"Angelus," I said, with a long sigh.

He smirked. "He didn't tell you about me, did he?"

"What are you? His twin? His schizophrenic buddy in his head?" I asked so confused.

He smirked again." You could say that."

"Which one?"

"Both."

"What?"

Angelus didn't answer me. He was staring at something behind me. I turned and saw a girl dressed in white standing behind me. I was stunned to see that she looked just like me. Her blonde hair flowed behind her. Her eyes were clear, whereas mine held deep scars.

I trembled as I realized who she was.

Buffy.

"Damn you!" An enraged voice from behind me screamed.

It was Angelus, but I paid him no mind.

"It's you," I sad softly to her.

"And, it's you," She said back.

"You look just like me." I said, almost accusingly.

"No. It's you who looks like me." She answered back.

"How?" I asked her, shaking my head.

"The answers you want will come soon." She said her smile soft. "Don't be afraid of what's to come. Anne, you play a big role in all of this mess. They need you. He needs you," She said her face turned soft and she had that 'I'm in love," Look.

"Who?" I asked her.

"Angel," Angelus answered for her in a sardonic one.

Buffy looked at him with contempt. "I should have killed you when I had the chance."

"Too late for regrets, babe," Angelus mocked. "You're a little bit dead."

"Keep thinking that," Buffy sneered. "When you least expect it, I'll be there."

"Uh-huh." Angelus rolled his eyes.

All was quiet when in the blink of an eye, Angelus had Buffy by the throat, and he was screaming and sobbing.

"You stupid bitch!" He cried, squeezing her neck. "Why couldn't just let the damn twerp die?" He demanded. "It wasn't you who was supposed to die!"

She was crying too, her hands clawing at his. "Stop! I had too, you know I had too!"

I stepped back quietly, their emotions riding over me in waves. I didn't know what to do. I bumped into someone. I turned wildly and saw Angel. I knew it was Angel.

"He hates her so much that he loves her," He said quietly, taking my hand into his.

"Poetic," I remarked.

"Not really." He answered as he turned me away from them and walked with me.

"Why did you do it?" He asked me.

"What?" I asked him back.

He pointed and I could see myself running from him. Dodging cars and people to get away. I could se myself crying and screaming. I saw myself fall down the stairs and land on the concrete below, blood pooling around my head and my arm curled grotesquely away from me. I could see Angel screaming my name as he cradled me to him.

I touched my temple lightly. "They were in my head."

"Who?"

"Voices!. They were telling me to run to get away before I hurt you." I said softly.

"You running hurt me." He said.

I tried to walk away from him, but his soft grip on my hand held me in place.

The scene around us changed. We were now standing in the hospital. I could see Faith and Angel asleep in my room.

"Are you really here?" I asked him.

He turned away and looked at my sleeping, broken body. "I'm just a dream."

*

And with that, everything was gone and I was awake, staring at the ceiling. Had that really been a dream?

TBC