"CJ Cregg."

"Hey, it's Simon." He sounded terrible. She bit her lip.

"Where are you?"

"Chicago."
"No, you idiot, where in Chicago are you now?"

He almost smiled. "You oughta do something about your use of vulgarities in place of endearments, you know."

"Or I could just hang up."

"My brother's place. Would you really hang up?"
 "Maybe."

"OK. I guess contrition is still the order of the day?"

"This is your first phone call since we talked in person three days ago. You really think you're off the hook so fast?"

"Just trying my luck." He sighed again.

"How bad is it?" She asked, her voice softening.

"My best friend died this past year. I didn't find out until I got here. He's been battling cancer for several years now…And I wasn't there to say…Anyhow, this and other crap. Maybe I should have stayed dead. I'm not kidding."

"Simon….do you want me to fly out?" She couldn't believe she actually asked, and neither could he, but the hurt in his voice cut through her like a knife. And Toby's words came back to her. "When you surround yourself with anger…because you keep waiting for the other shoe to drop…you miss out on the chance at happiness." She was making Simon pay for so many things that weren't his fault…

"I…yes, I don't know if you could, but yes, if you wanted to, and you could get the time…"Simon forced himself under control. "Yes, I would really like that."

CJ smiled softly. "I'm pretty sure I would have no problems getting the time off. The President is willing, at this point, to give you the keys to his kingdom, so to speak. I think he'll give me some time off to go see you."

*****

They sat alone in Andrew Donovan's living room. Simon's brother and his family had cleared out for the day, to give CJ and Simon absolute privacy. Earlier that afternoon, CJ went with Simon to the cemetery where his best friend was buried. Simon left a note, and his favorite picture of Ben and himself. Now, he was in a contemplative mood.

"What are you thinking?" asked CJ curiously.

"That I need a break. That I've paid my dues and then some."

CJ looked at him blankly. "What dues? You never switched sides, did you?"
He smiled. "You still remember that conversation?" He sighed and shook his head. " No, but I always believed the army, and law enforcement, were my way of giving back to society for what it has given me – freedom, education, you know, all the good stuff, which in my case always outweighed the bad. So it's like paying dues – you get the good and give back something to make the good even better. Or at least you try." He gave her a small depreciating grin. "I'm not trying to preach, you know. But it's really how I feel, though some people will think it's fake."

"I'm not one of those people," she whispered.

"No, you're just as idealistic as I am. It's one of the things I love about you. One of many," he added softly.

"Hold that thought for a moment, and tell me what you meant by needing a break."

"I'm taking a leave of absence, and after that…I might teach at the academy. You know, I can teach people how to shoot without falling down." He ducked the magazine that flew his way. "I want time, right now, to build a relationship with a woman I thought I'd never find." He looked up at her. "If you won't have to worry about my job, or the risks I take…Would you think about giving us a second chance?"

"Simon," she took a deep breath, "You're not leaving because you think that's what I'd want, right? Because I came here…to be with you…you needed me, and I needed you as well. There are no strings attached. You'd have a second chance, WE would have one, whether or not you stayed an active agent. A chance at happiness is worth all this," she added, thinking of Toby again. He was so right, and Simon was so different from anyone else she knew. She was willing to risk more of herself for him than she ever thought possible. Then a thought occurred to her. "You wouldn't ask me to change my job, my career goals, would you?"

"You know I wouldn't. I admire who you are professionally and it comes from who you are as a person, It's the whole package that I love. No, I wouldn't want you to change." She smiled and he continued. "I'm forty-seven years old, and last year my life went from absolute happiness to…what it's been this past year in a matter of hours. I love my job, I love doing protective details, but I want a break. I'm burnt out, at the moment."
"You may feel different after your leave."
"Yeah, Ron's hoping so."

"Whatever you decide, it won't affect our relationship. It will stand or fall on its own."

"I have every intention of making it stand, Ms. Cregg. I've had a year to realize just how important you became to me in the short time we had together. I don't intend to let this relationship fall apart, now that we can build it up."

It really does beat living in anger, she thought, as she smiled at him and answered, "I second that, Special Agent Sunshine."