Before Hitomi's mother came home, she was picked up by Merle in her dad's car. They were on their way to Dilandau's to hang out with the rest of the gang. When they got there, Hitomi got a hug from Dilandau but found it wasn't quite the same as one from Van. His absence was obvious as soon as they arrived because it was a lot quieter and less fighting.
They plopped down in various spots; on top, beside, and around each other. Merle was sprawled on top of Allen and they were absorbed in a deep discussion. Finally Merle said something that must have annoyed Allen because with one fluid motion he gave her a nudge and she fell off his lap onto the floor.
"Allen! That hurt!" she screamed. Then she got up and jumped back onto him and they started a playful wrestling game. They rolled on top of Millerna's foot and she half nudged, half kicked them so they went rolling the other way towards Hitomi. Allen looked up at her when they stopped near her feet. With a devilish smile he grabbed her around the legs. Wavering, Hitomi tried to keep her balance until Allen gave a little tug and she fell on top of both of them. Dilandau looked out of his movie cupboard when he heard the noise and grinned at his three friends wrestling on the floor.
"DILANDAU! What's all that racket?" a voice yelled from upstairs.
"Sorry Mom," he called back. "Hitomi just fell over." He motioned with his hands for them to stop.
Hitomi looked up at Allen who had her arms pinned about her head and was covering a thrashing Merle with his body. How pathetic, she thought. Two against one, and we still lose. Slowly sliding off Merle and letting go of Hitomi, Allen stood up with a victorious smile. Merle stook her tongue out at him and plopped herself down on Dilandau's lap and stretched out.
"So Dilly, what're we watching tonight? Something gory?"
"Ah Merle," came a voice from the tangle of legs and arms that was Millerna and Dryden. "You always like the blood and guts, don't you? You should be a warrior you know that? I heard about how you fought Melanie yesterday. Someone told me she had a black eye and bloody lip after."
Merle puffed herself up, looking proud. "Well, I am a good fighter," she said.
"Then why did both you and Hitomi just lose to Allen?" Dilandau asked her.
"I hate you." She glared at him with her pink eyes and he just laughed at her.
* * *
It was dark outside when Hitomi hopped out of Merle's car, waved, and started walking up the path to her house. The lights in her house were all off except one and she hoped her mother and Mamoru were sleeping.
Inside she found her mother sitting on the couch nursing a bottle of hard liquor. Her eyes were slightly glazed and she wavered when she got up. Hitomi took a small step back when her mother staggered towards her. Coughing lightly and waving an arm in front of her nose, Hitomi started heading for the stairs.
"Come back here girl," her mom slurred. Hitomi obliged hesitantly. "Where were ya tonight? I wanted to talk to you about something."
Hitomi asked, "What?"
After thinking for several moments, Hitomi's mother looked back at her with a smile. "I dunno. Isn't that funny how things just slip your mind like that?" She hiccupped and started laughing quietly to herself.
Thinking her mother was so drunk that she didn't know what she was talking about, Hitomi headed up the stairs to her room. She headed into the bathroom to brush her teeth and comb her hair before changing into her pyjamas.
She climbed out her window into the tree. When she climbed high enough she could see the stars. Watching them for a while, Hitomi started thinking about how Dilandau had seemingly taken responsibility for her with Van away. When she was leaving he had automatically asked her to go to the mall with him the next day. Anything to keep her away from the house. Realizing Van had probably put him up to it, Hitomi smiled at her best friend's antics. Climbing back inside her window and into her bed, Hitomi fell asleep quickly, not knowing what the next day would bring.
* * *
Hitomi awoke, revelling in the fact that it was a Saturday and she didn't have to get up all day if she didn't want to. Then she remembered her mother had been drunk the night before. Knowing she should go check on her, Hitomi went downstairs and brought her mother a glass of water and a couple Tylenol's. Sprawled on the couch, Hitomi's mother was drooling and clutching a mostly empty bottle of alcohol. She grabbed it and went to dump out the rest of it's contents.
Mamoru was awake and playing his favorite game on his Nintendo. Hitomi sent him upstairs to get dressed. After making him toast and taking him to a friend's, where he could stay all day, she went back home to find her mother conscious after over twelve hours. She was drinking coffee and rubbing her head, which, no doubt, hurt.
Hitomi brought out some supplies she would need to do a project for school. She worked on it for several hours with no break until there was a mad yell from the upper level of her house. Stomping told her that her mother was coming down the stairs.
"STUPID GIRL!" her mother shrieked at her when she entered the room. Hitomi wracked her brains trying to figure out what she had done to make her mother angry this time. "STUPID GIRL!" yelled her mother again. "Did you think I wouldn't find out? You told me you had a test! A test! And I believed you! But you were out with that boy all the time, weren't you? WEREN'T YOU? You told your teachers you were sick and me that you were at school but the whole time you were out with that evil Van child!"
"I wouldn't have had to lie to you OR my teachers if you hadn't shoved me into a fucking shelf and given me a concussion!!" Hitomi yelled back. Her mother took a step away from her in shock. Then the angered look came back into her eyes again and she advanced on her daughter, hand raised.
Hitomi grabbed her wrist the first time it came toward her which seemed to shock her mother. After she realized her daughter had stood up to her for once, her anger multiplied several times and she took another swing. This time, there was nothing Hitomi could do to stop it. For several minutes this went on until Hitomi's mother stopped long enough for Hitomi to stand. Once she did, she wished she had stayed on the ground. Her mother had been eyeing the Xzacto knife she had been using for her project. Picking it up, she clicked the blade out several centimetres. Hitomi backed herself into the fridge with wide eyes as her mother advanced on her with a knife.
Hitomi's mother put a hand on Hitomi's neck and brought the knife close to her face. She moved it around for several seconds and watched as Hitomi's eyes followed it, praying to God that it wouldn't be plunged into her.
"Don't," her mother whispered threateningly, "you ever, ever, lie to me again. Do you have that?" She watched Hitomi nod before she hit her so hard she fell to the floor, dropped the knife, and left the house with a slam. Hitomi lay on the ground shaking and her mind searched for something it could grasp the first thing it did was Van.
"Van," she whispered, then realized he wasn't there. He wasn't even in the same city!
She stared at the offending knife laying on the ground a foot away. She grabbed it and hurried up to her room. Sitting on her bed, sobbing, Hitomi brought the knife to her wrist and gently scraped at the flesh. After doing that a couple times she pressed hard enough to draw blood. Watching the blood flow down her arm made everything seem so simple. Then she remembered. She had promised Van. She wouldn't do it this way. There were other ways.
Stumbling slightly to her bathroom, and grabbing a bottle of something, - she didn't even check what - Hitomi stopped to look in her mirror. She saw a pale, thin girl with a bruised face and a bleeding arm. She was that girl. That girl had become what she was because of her mother. Her own mother. The one person in the world that should love you unconditionally. And she didn't even have that anymore.
With a shaking hand Hitomi wrote a note to Van. Then she wrote one to her family. It was short and to the point.
Dear Dad and Mamoru,
I'd like to say this is no one's fault but it would be a lie. For the last month or so, I've been victim to Mom. After dealing with this the best way I could for so long, I feel I can't take it anymore. Tell all my friends I love them and give Van the note I wrote for him, UNREAD. Mom, I forgive you. I know you had troubles too but we could have sorted them out together. Instead, this is what happened. I'm so sorry. I love you so much.
Love, Hitomi
She placed it on her pillow on top of the one for Van. Not bothering to use water, Hitomi popped three pills into her mouth and swallowed them with ease. She didn't hear the thump outside her window as she shook more pills into her hand. Dropping some on the floor but not bothering to pick them up, she raised her hand to her mouth once more.
"Hey handsome, I got home early!" said a voice. Van's. He paused and looked at her. She had frozen and she watched as Van's eyes took in her blood on the carpet, the Xzacto knife, the pills on the floor and in her hands, and her suicide note. "Holy fuck Hitomi! What're you doing?"
He rushed over to her and gathered her into his arms. Then he pushed her away and looked into her face. He saw new bruises and a desperation in her eyes he hadn't ever seen before. Gently he pried the pills from her hands and brushed tears away from her eyes.
"'Tomi, tell me what's going on. Are you alright? How many of these did you eat?"
"Three or four… Oh, Van! You weren't here. I needed you so much and you were gone!" Hitomi flung her arms around his neck and sobbed on his shoulder while he made soothing sounds and tried to understand exactly what had happened. "I - I was so scared! She pulled the knife on me and then, then I took it and I cut my wrist and remembered what you had said about it. I had promised you not to so I took - I took the pills instead. Van, why didn't you let me die? Why did you have to come and save me now, when I was so close?"
"Hitomi! Never talk like that! It's a fucking miracle I got home on time to stop this! What were you thinking? I'm here for you, never forget it." Hitomi nodded at him and he brushed her hair away from her eyes. "I love you, okay?"
"I love you too Van."
(A/N: For all of you that wanted it, THAT WAS NOT A CONFESSION OF LOVE. Okay, it was. But not the kind you're thinking of. That was friend love. Have you ever told a friend you loved them? Well, it was like that. So, Hitomi tries to commit suicide but Van, being a hero, stops her. BUT! He didn't see the note she had written him! OOOOOOOOOOH! What does it say? Meh, you'll find out later. Haha, aren't I a great person! Tell me if the chapter has any mistakes etc., and as always, REVIEW!!!!)