Hitomi had fought this for almost a week. Her suicide attempts had happened close to a week ago. For the first few nights, Van either slept at her house or brought her to his. Hitomi knew he wouldn't let her be alone for a while; he didn't trust her by herself yet.

It was a relief when her phone rang. It meant she could put off telling him for a while still. Picking up her phone and setting down the piece of paper, she sat on her bed.

"Hello?"

"Hey 'Tomi! What's up?"

"Dilly! Not too much, I'm just hanging around the house and stuff. Contemplating doing something with my life. How about you?"

"Ah, not too much. How're you feeling?" Van had told them that she was going through an extremely rough period in her parent's divorce and she was feeling depressed.

Hitomi sighed. "I'm alright Dilly. Kinda tired and - and well, really tired." She had almost said sore. The bruises on her face had disappeared within the last couple days but the mark on her arm was still there and still painful.

"I just called to check on you. Call me if you need anything 'kay? It's what we're here for."

Hitomi almost wept when she heard the concern in his voice. "Thanks Dilly," she said, swallowing a lump that had formed in her throat. "I'll talk to you later alright?"

"Yeah, 'course. See ya Hitomi."

"Bye."

Hanging up the phone, Hitomi wiped her hands on her pants. She was nervous. Picking up the paper she had set down, she climbed out her window and down her tree. Her hands shook as she walked towards Van's house. Shakily she climbed up the ladder and up to the window. She took a deep breath. No going back now, she told herself.

"Hey Van," she said, climbing inside his window.

"Hey," he called, his head under the bed. "Aha!" he yelled and pulled his arm out, clutching a shoe in his hand. "I found you!" He turned back to Hitomi, smiling at her. She gave him a wavering grin and sat down on his desk chair. Raising an eyebrow at her, Van sat on his bed. "What's up 'Tomi?"

"Um… Van? Can I uh, tell you something?" Hitomi's voice wavered. She could never remembering feeling this nervous in her life. Van nodded at her, looking odd. "Well, it's not um, so much of something I need to tell you as, uh… something you need to read." She walked over to him and handed him the paper she had been holding tightly for the last little while.

It was the note she had written to him right before trying to kill herself. Hitomi had read it so many times she could almost recite it.

Dear Van,

First off, I want to say sorry. I know this is probably the worst thing I could have done but I don't know how I'm going to go on living normally after all this. My mom pulled a knife on me this afternoon and it finally pushed me over the edge. Tell everyone - Dilly, Merle, Millerna, Allen, Dryden - how much I love them. They were there for me as best as they could have been. Tell them they're the best. And now I need to tell you something I've been hiding for the last little while. Van, I'm in love with you. I didn't realize it until last Sunday when you took care of me and covered for me when my mom had hurt me, yet again. Sorry for not telling you sooner, when there was something you could do about it. You're the best friend in the world.

Love, Hitomi

Van's eyes widened about half way through the letter. Hitomi knew this was going to throw his whole world out of view for a while. He finished reading the note and put his hands down by sides. Staring at his lap for a moment, he looked lost in thought. Then he looked up with a look in his eyes Hitomi had never seen. She squinted, trying to read him.

He stood and started to walk towards her and Hitomi was incredibly afraid for his answer. Even though she knew Van wouldn't react harshly toward her, she was laying her heart on the line, right out where it could get broken.

He now stood in front of her, looking into her eyes. "'Tomi," he breathed. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Van put a hand on her cheek and brushed his thumb across it. It was all Hitomi could do to keep herself from leaning into his hand.

There was a silence and finally, it became unbearable. "Van?" Hitomi started, quietly. "I'm kinda nervous here… Do you want to tell me what you're thinking?"

Van leaned forward and gently brushed his lips across Hitomi's. She gasped and leaned back a bit, looking at him uncertainly. With a smile, Van put a hand on the back of Hitomi's head and drew her back to him. They had kissed many times before. Giving each other little kisses all their lives. But this kiss was different. This kiss was filled with a passion Hitomi didn't know Van had.

Tentatively, Hitomi reached her arms around Van's neck and buried her fingers in his hair. If possible he pulled her in even closer and Hitomi could feel all the muscles in his stomach. When Van finally pulled away from Hitomi, her legs were shaking and her breathing heavy.

"Van?" she questioned.

"Mmmm?"

"I'm not going to be dropped like your other girlfriends, am I?"

Van stopped playing with her fingers and kissing the ends of them, and looked up at her. "Hitomi. If you thought I would do that, would you have told me in the first place?" After thinking for a while, she shook her head.

Smiling at her, he lowered his head for another kiss. Hitomi barely noticed him moving slowly until she was laying back on the bed. Van kissed his way down her neck and back up to her lips again. One look into her eyes was all the confirmation he needed before he started playing with the edge of her shirt. Finally, after all Van's hesitation, Hitomi couldn't stand it anymore. She pulled her shirt off and kissed Van on the lips.

* * *

In the midst of their passion, Van looked down at Hitomi. Her eyes were closed and there were silent tears coursing down her cheeks. He remembered she had never been in a situation like that before and he leaned down and kissed her lightly. Hitomi's eyes flickered open and looked up into his.

"You okay?" he asked.

Hitomi nodded slowly and Van kissed her again, this time more fervently.

"I love you, 'Tomi."

* * *

Van's eyes opened slowly and the first thing he saw was ruffled brown hair. He was lying in his bed and Hitomi was sleeping beside him. There was nothing unusual about that except the fact that they hadn't just been sleeping the night before. Hitomi moved and made a noise. Van thanked God that his parents believed in giving him privacy in his room. He didn't know how he would explain this if they were caught.

Finally Hitomi stretched and her body came even closer to Van's than before. He wrapped his arms around her tight enough that she couldn't move farther away and grinned cheekily down at her when she looked up at him. She grinned back and closed her eyes again, nuzzling her face into Van's shoulder.

"Tired?" he asked her, smartly.

"No," she said, lifting her head and sticking her tongue out at him. "You should be though."

He couldn't help but laughing and Hitomi kissed his chin gently. Leaning down, Van rested his forehead on hers. "You know what?" he asked.

"What?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, Van," she said and kissed him with a passion she hadn't realized she had until the night before. It shocked her to realize that although she had been in intimate situations before, they hadn't forged a bond as deep as the one she shared with Van.

It was weird, they had changed their whole relationship in a few minutes. When Hitomi had handed Van her letter telling him how she felt, it opened another door. Van had stepped through the door when he kissed Hitomi. The chance that anyone other than Van would have taken advantage of her in that situation was very likely. Instead, he had looked at it for what it was and then examined his own feelings.

Breaking Hitomi out of her thoughts, Van said, "Now you can finally say you have a boyfriend that wants in your pants."

She burst out laughing and started to slide out of his bed, dragging a sheet with her. Van smiled at her. After last night he was amazed she was so embarrassed as to cover herself with a sheet in front of him. Hitomi pulled on her shirt she had carelessly tossed on the ground. Then she tossed pair of pants at Van who was still in bed. He smirked at her and nudged the pants off the bed. Hitomi, who now was fully clothed, finger-combed her hair in the mirror. Then she sat down on the bed beside Van.

"I gotta go, call me later, okay?" She kissed him quickly on the mouth and stood to leave. He grabbed her hand and she turned. Gently he kissed it and she smiled before exiting through his window.

Van leaned back. He had a girlfriend. And this time it wasn't a brief fling. In fact, he'd talked with Merle about this not too long ago. 'The girl of his dreams.' Well, she wasn't hiding anymore.

(A/N: Who liked that? J I DID! Fluff!!! Mmm hmm!! Well, Iunno when I'll be updating again, hopefully within the next week but NO GUARENTEES! The love of my life left yesterday for SEVEN months! I don't know when I'll talk to him again!! Waah! But I have to go do homework because my math teacher is a beast and gives us lots… BOO! As always, Review!)