AN: Ooooh I am so horrible
- Even though it's spring break over here, I still update so slowly.
I'll try my best to be more hasty. I apologize to all *snuff* Thank you all
for the touching reviews =) WAAAA I LOVE YOU GUYS. LITERALLY. Mmm hmm, anywayyyyys,
here is Ch.7 and I have to admit it's kind of boring -_- Well, enjoy.
Disclaimer: I don't own FFX yadadadaaaaaadeeeeedaa...
But a Dream
Chapter Seven :: Insecurities
by Kaeli Enfys
I yawned stiffly and rubbed the sleep away from my eyes. At once, I wrinkled my nose and knew that my surroundings were not familiar. I didn't smell the usual dampness of my apartment room and nor did I feel the usual rays of sunlight shining onto my face.
The mattress, or whatever it was beneath my back, did not feel like my bed. It was softer and smelt different. Kind of like the ocean; refreshing and clean. I opened my eyes slowly and met dim light. How odd. I was definitely not in my room.
"You awake?"
I jumped up from my sleeping position and landed in a heap on the carpeted floor. A male voice laughed and I instantly recognized it. Tidus.
"Whoa, didn't mean to scare you!"
I picked myself together and squinted through the dim light, finally spotting the outline of his figure still sitting on the beanbag. I wondered to myself if he had slept through the entire night on that thing. "What...why am I still here?" I questioned rather stupidly.
He got off the beanbag and pulled the curtains back from the huge glass windows. Light poured in like sheets of glass as I reflexively flung a hand in front of my eyes to shield myself from the blinding light. He stood by the window without a care to the sudden brightness. "You don't remember? Ah, well you must have been tired," he mumbled. "You fell asleep and I didn't want to wake you."
I blushed a faint rose. I had fallen asleep? Oh right, of course I had. Yesterday's events slowly returned to my still muddled mind. I had thought maybe it had all been a dream...but no. It was real. And it wasn't just a moment thing. He was still being awfully nice to me.
"Anyway, I finished our project," he continued and turned to grin at me. His grin lit up his whole face. No one would ever suspect that his father was so abusive and cruel. I smiled sadly to myself. "And you better hurry if we want to get to school on time."
I looked at him with surprise and he quickly continued, "I don't care about being late, but seeing that you're here...I don't want to be blamed for ruining your perfect attendance."
I smiled at him. "Okay, I'll be ready in three minutes if you could lend me a spare toothbrush."
"Oh, er..." he walked across the room and entered a white door. He came out seconds later and pointed into the room. "This is the bathroom. I've placed an extra toothbrush, toothpaste and towel if you need it."
I couldn't help but smile even more. He seemed like a pretty organized person. At least bathroom wise. "Thank you."
He shrugged and walked to his closet. It was then that I realized he was wearing his pajamas; a white undershirt and navy blue boxers with a silver dragon design bordering the bottom. I flushed and nearly ran into the bathroom, slamming the door a bit too hard behind me. I caught my breath and stared at myself in the big wall-sized mirror.
My hair was slightly frizzy, but I thought I looked pretty awake for 7:15 in the morning. My mother's earring was still hanging daintily on my ear and a sudden wave of warmth washed through me. I picked up the spare toothbrush, yellow with chocobo footprints, and squeezed out just the right amount of toothpaste. As I was brushing my teeth, I slowly realized that we would be going to school together.
Unless he decided to be mean and let me walk the whole way there. But I silently scolded myself for thinking such things. Tidus seemed to be nice...as strange as that thought was to my mind. It was so weird...it was as if the sudden understanding between us had melted away the barrier that had separated us into two different worlds. That understanding...of loosing someone important in your life.
That understanding of having no mother. And in his case...it didn't seem like he had a father either.
I rinsed out my mouth and paused suddenly. But...but maybe it was pity.
...He pitied me?
I glanced up at my reflection and my blue green eyes fell slightly. Pity...was that what he felt for me? Pity when he saw that look in my eyes when Dona broke my precious earring? Pity when he saw me tear away from them and run to hide beneath the comforting shadows of the oak tree? Pity...that finally made him think he should be nice to me?
Not because he had suddenly thought what a wonderful person I was?
Not that I thought I was a wonderful person...
And maybe right now as I thought about all those possibilities, he could be standing outside grumbling at how annoying it was to be nice to me. For all I knew, he could be screaming curses at me like he usually did. But because of pity, he was laying low.
I swallowed thickly.
Maybe I was thinking too much.
"Hey, are you done yet?" Came a distant shout.
I washed my face quickly. Why did I feel so insecure?
I exited the bathroom slowly, but he didn't seem to notice the look of deep thought on my face as he quickly hurried up the stairs. "Now we really gotta hurry," he mumbled as the last of his blue shorts disappeared from my sight. I followed him upstairs to a silent living room.
"Where's your dad?" I couldn't help but ask.
"Oh, probably out already," he answered stiffly while putting on his yellow running shoes. He pointed to my school bag sitting by my shoes and I quickly followed his lead.
We were out the door and in the car in a matter of seconds. I let my mind wander again as he drove down and up the streets towards Yunalesca High. I stole glances at him occasionally, trying to decipher the look in his eyes. To see if it was real friendship he felt...or just plain pity. Maybe he was scared that I would go emotionally unstable again and he didn't want to carry that burden of knowing he and his friends had caused it.
Maybe he felt like he had to stabilize my emotions first and then dump me into my little corner of seclusion later. Then it'd be back to old times again. It was a cycle. An endless cycle of pity.
I frowned deeply. I was being silly, I reassured myself. He said so himself that he wanted to be friends -- kind of. But it would be okay if he decided not to again. I didn't mind...did I?
I sighed and fogged up the car window for a brief second. It was that sudden taste of friendship that made me so insecure. I had felt what it was like to have a friend, to talk with someone about things. Not just about clothes, or movies, or shallow topics...but something deep. It was that sudden taste of having a "real" friend...and I didn't want to loose it.
I shook my head. Lulu was my friend, wasn't she? But it was so different with her...it was hard to explain the differences, but there was a difference. I could feel it so deeply within myself. With Tidus...it was like an old lost friend I had suddenly found.
But what was I saying? He wasn't some old lost friend. He was more like an old lost enemy.
Oh, stupid insecurity.
"Er, are you going to get out or not?"
I blinked rapidly and looked to my left and right, suddenly noticing that the car had stopped and we were parked in the school parking lot. Tidus was already out of the car but his head was poking in from the window.
I quickly got out without another word, my thoughts still reeling as I watched him lock the car and walk towards the school building with his bag slung across his shoulder. He didn't once look back, and my heart sunk. He was going to ditch me, wasn't he? Just like I had expected. Hello reality, welcome back, I thought glumly.
But he turned then, and I knew that maybe all my thoughts had just been silly and pointless.
He looked at me with an unreadable expression on his face before waving his hand, beckoning me to follow him. "You really are trying to get us late, aren't you? Well, I'm surprised! Good little Yuna?"
I knew he was teasing. I giggled to myself and caught up with him as we walked through the front doors of Yunalesca High together. I had never entered the school building with someone by my side. I had never even set foot onto school grounds with someone so close by that they could pass as my shadow. And to think it was with Tidus of all people.
I dared myself to glance his way. And when I did, I knew I would never regret in my life. His breathtaking azure eyes returned my gaze and somehow, even through all my insecurities, I knew that never would I walk alone again.
*
When we entered Al Bhed class together, and in Tidus' case, early, Mr. Rin couldn't conceal the look of surprise on his face. I turned my head quickly towards the other students and saw that they all had identical looks of shock and disgust on their face. I shifted my gaze towards Rikku, the only person in his gang that was in this class.
She was looking curiously at Tidus with a questioning look on her childishly cute face. My eyes darted back to Tidus who smiled at her and said hello, sitting down in the desk next to her. I was hoping maybe he would drag me along and say, "And this is Yuna, my new friend," but he didn't and I slowly sat down at my seat closer to the front. I found myself straining to catch any bits of their conversation but they were too far back for me to hear.
I slapped myself mentally. Eavesdropping wasn't exactly good.
"Class, please hand in your projects on my desk," Mr. Rin's voice rang out through the room.
The class didn't move an inch. My brow furrowed and I looked over my shoulder, trying to catch Tidus' gaze but he would not look my way. He was having some conversation with Rikku and didn't seem to notice.
"Well? Isn't anyone going to hand in their projects?" Mr. Rin's voice seemed slightly impatient.
Rikku raised her hand and Mr. Rin glanced at her with a frown. "We didn't finish it!"
The class chimed with her, "We didn't finish it either!"
I looked over my shoulder again and wanted to scream to Tidus, "But we did! We can still hand in our project while everyone else fails!" but I couldn't find my voice.
Mr. Rin sighed, "All of you?" He scanned the entire class and his gaze landed on me. "Miss. Yuna. You are a smart, intelligent girl. Don't tell me you and your partner didn't finish it?"
I sat up quickly and opened my mouth, "No! No, but I did--"
"Did not finish it!" Tidus' voice cut in and I nearly snapped my head back to stare at him. He didn't look at me though as he continued speaking to Mr. Rin. "Yes,Yuna is a smart girl and all, but she caught a cold this week and wasn't able to meet up with me after school to finish it. Health is more important anyways, right Mr. Rin?" He grinned sheepishly.
I raised an eyebrow at him, still boring my gaze into him. What on Spira was he saying? We finished the darn project! Unless he didn't finish the last page like he said he had. But it was only one measly page! We could have handed it in and we would have aced it easily! He finally looked at me and mouthed a few words that looked like, "Talk to you later."
I frowned deeply and turned around in my seat to face the front again. Mr. Rin was lecturing the class about finishing assignments and going on about responsibility and the importance of it all. But I didn't hear much of it as my mind was still fuming and muddled at Tidus' weird behavior.
Was it another trick of some sort?
I begged and prayed to Yevon it wasn't. It really would bring me crashing down to reality if Tidus suddenly popped up with our project ripped into shreds, saying he didn't care about his marks at all and that he just wanted to waste my time and effort.
I shivered at that image and shook it out of my head. A person couldn't be that cruel, right?
And...and we had talked like we were friends. He couldn't have such a quick change of heart, could he?
The bell rung and Mr. Rin was still babbling on.
The class ignored him and each were packing up their books and rushing out of the classroom, pushing by each other with brute force. I slowly picked up my books and stole a glance at Tidus who was being pulled by Rikku towards the door. He shook his head slightly and said loudly, "I'll meet you at the cafeteria in two minutes."
Rikku reluctantly nodded and skipped out the door. I walked out of the classroom until Tidus caught up to me and grabbed my arm. I let out a frustrated sigh and turned to look up at him. "What was that?"
"Okay, well, you see--"
I blinked quickly, "You didn't shred up our project did you? You're not going to throw it into my face and tell me that you don't care about the work we did, right? That you just wanted to waste my time?" I braced myself for his reply.
"Um, no," he answered and stared at me strangely. He opened his binder. "It's right here."
I let out a sigh of relief but suddenly frowned. "Then why didn't we hand it in?"
"Because...because no one else did," he answered quickly and nodded as if it were the most obvious answer on Spira. "Hell no was I going to look like a geek in front of everyone! I'm not the goody goody type in everyone's eyes!"
It was my turn to stare. He ran a hand through his blonde spiky hair and quickly continued, "Well, that's all there is to it. I better go meet up with Rikku at the caf, catch you later."
I grabbed his arm swiftly as he turned to leave. He stopped and growled under his breath. "What now?"
I was slightly shocked at the annoyance in his tone and I dropped his hand. "It's just because of that?"
He raised his eyebrows and turned to look at me. "What do you mean?"
"I should be asking you that!" I snapped and calmed myself with a pause for breath. "It's just because you don't want everyone to think you're a nerd? A geek? So you don't want to hand in the project we worked so hard on for the whole week?"
He nodded slowly and tilted his head, "Er, yeah, that's basically what I said."
I continued to stare.
He threw his hands in the air. "Okay, you don't seem to get it. But then again you wouldn't get it anyways."
"Maybe if you explained yourself better I would," I mumbled.
"Okay, well, fine," he replied. "You see, I have a reputation around here. Star player of the Zanarkand Abes and a hell lotta stuff."
I bit my lip. "So this is about your reputation?"
He frowned and nodded awkwardly. "Ya...that's it. That's all there is to it. Now do you get it?"
"...Sure, I do, but--"
"Then that's good!" He smiled quickly and turned to leave. "Catch you later!"
I opened my mouth to stop him but he was running down the hallway now, people waving to him as he passed by. Smiling at him as he passed by. I watched as he turned the corner and headed towards the cafeteria.
At first, his words had been confusing, but I slowly got a grasp on them.
...He did have a reputation here. He did have something to uphold. He didn't want to look like a geek because...because of that reputation he had built for himself. He wasn't suppose to be studious. He was suppose to be a blitz player, cool and relaxed. He was popular and the reason why the female population sighed like lovesick fools during class.
I didn't understand it fully but that was because I didn't have a reputation.
We were different in that way.
I didn't have anything to uphold except...except to be the school freak.
I shook my head to myself and turned to go down the hallway. To Tidus, his reputation was more important to him. For a second, the word 'selfish' flashed about in my mind. I sighed. I guess I couldn't expect a 360-degree change in him when he had decided to be somewhat friendly to me.
Oh, here I was again, being insecure about his true feelings towards me. Maybe it was pity.
And then it hit me.
Yes, we were different in that he had some glorious reputation to uphold while I just had my own dreams to dwell in. But there it was, our similarity. I was so insecure that he would turn away at any second and realize he was being nice to the girl he hated so much some days ago. He would look at me in surprise and flinch, calling me 'freak' or whatever names he had called me before.
But he was insecure too.
He was insecure, just like me. He didn't want his friends to turn on him because he had been a good student and done the project. He didn't want his friends to think he was anything but the cool and relaxed blitz player his reputation seemed to say.
...my anger faded then, realizing that he was just as insecure as me. Just in a different way. I laughed to myself at how odd the situation was. To someone on the outside, we were like black and white, cat to mouse. And yet, if you would just linger a moment longer, you'd realize that the black and white were turning grey and the cat and mouse were sharing cheese.
It was that morning that I decided to help him. Help him realize that being true to yourself was so much more important. And maybe along the way I would drop my own insecurities too. Just maybe I would be able to come out of that cocoon I had built for myself and emerge as a fully developed butterfly.
Then everyone would turn their heads and wonder to themselves what just happened and all the while I would just flutter by with my colourful wings, free from harsh winds and free to fly my own course.
I opened my mouth slightly and whispered, "Tidus is my friend."
The words were so odd, hanging in the air in front of me as I peered around me to make sure no one had heard me. I said it again and it felt nice coming from my lips. I said it until I was sure that it was true. That this was not an act, that this was real friendship, nor was it but a dream.
I smiled as I walked down that hallway towards my locker until a voice called out to me that made me stop.
"Yuna?"
I turned around still smiling. There he was, standing there looking slightly flustered. "Hey," I greeted.
"Sorry about that," he grumbled, all the while looking at the floor. "When I sat down with Dona and everyone, I suddenly realized how selfish that must have sounded."
I tilted my head to get a better look at his eyes. "Really?"
He looked up and caught my gaze. He nodded. "Yeah. But you know what?" He smiled then.
I glanced back at him curiously, "What?"
"I handed it in. Our project. Mr. Rin stared at me real weird but he looked at it and we got perfect," he said this all so quickly and excitedly. It was like he was a child rambling on about his new toy train. I smiled inwardly.
"But...can you not say anything?" He added quietly.
I nodded and he looked at me with a hint of surprise. I giggled, "Well, we can't ruin your reputation now can we?"
He flushed slightly, "Hey! But...er...thanks."
"No problem," I answered. "But you know what?"
"...What?"
"...It really shouldn't matter. If they really are your friends...they won't care all that much," I spoke gently, letting him absorb my words. "Just be true to yourself."
He stared at me, blinking rapidly as he looked away abruptly. "You freak me out sometimes."
"I do?"
"Ya, you and your little mind reading," he laughed lightly but he stopped to look at me seriously. "But you know what?"
I raised an eyebrow. "What?"
"You have to start loosening up! Geez, trust me alright? I'm not going to kick you aside once I think you're not going to break down and cry again or something," he murmured. "We're friends. Plain and simple."
I nearly choked on my breath. He grinned. "Ha! I got you on that one didn't I?"
"How'd you know what I was thinking?" I gasped.
"Well, it's kind of easy to piece together," he replied. "You immediately guessed that I had ripped up our project or something when I didn't want to hand it in. You thought I was going to pull some trick on you again, didn't you? Well, sorry to disappoint you Yuna, but I'm being genuinely nice to you, as hard as it is to believe."
I laughed at the oddness of his sentence, but I couldn't help but notice the wonderful feeling of having my insecurities soothed. I hoped I had done the same for him. It was funny that we were able to calm each other's frights and worries. It was funny how we suddenly understood each other so well. Like two sides of the same coin almost.
But we had our reasons to be insecure. I had been tricked too many times to trust so easily and to quickly accept that he really was being a friend. And I understood now that it was the same idea for him. His reputation was somewhat a pressure, a mold, for who he was suppose to be. He thought his friends were only his friends because of that reputation. He couldn't easily let go of that reputation without a few risks, just as I was putting my feelings into risk for accepting him as a friend.
It was the same idea really.
"Hey, c'mon! I want you to see for yourself that I handed in that project, just in case you still don't trust me!"
"Okay, okay, don't make me feel bad! I do trust you!"
"You sure?"
"Uh huh," I nodded.
"Then you're not scared of me right?"
"Scared? Hey I wasn't scared!"
"Really?" He had a hint of mischief in his voice.
"Really!"
"Well then are you scared now?" He reached out so quickly that I didn't know what was happening until I was rolling about on the floor in shrieks of laughter. "Stopppp!!" I shrieked.
"Not if I can help it!"
I launched my fingers at him. "Fine! Then take that!"
And the fight was on.
AN: Eeep, this chapter was more of a "transition chapter" from Tidus vs. Yuna to Tidus and Yuna if you get what I mean. Of course Yuna would feel kind of iffy that Tidus was being nice and of course Tidus has his own little things to deal with too. They just had to get past their own insecurities ^-^ Hohum...things will pick up again next chapter as Tidus' gang finds out that they're friends! Oh dear...
Disclaimer: I don't own FFX yadadadaaaaaadeeeeedaa...
Chapter Seven :: Insecurities
by Kaeli Enfys
I yawned stiffly and rubbed the sleep away from my eyes. At once, I wrinkled my nose and knew that my surroundings were not familiar. I didn't smell the usual dampness of my apartment room and nor did I feel the usual rays of sunlight shining onto my face.
The mattress, or whatever it was beneath my back, did not feel like my bed. It was softer and smelt different. Kind of like the ocean; refreshing and clean. I opened my eyes slowly and met dim light. How odd. I was definitely not in my room.
"You awake?"
I jumped up from my sleeping position and landed in a heap on the carpeted floor. A male voice laughed and I instantly recognized it. Tidus.
"Whoa, didn't mean to scare you!"
I picked myself together and squinted through the dim light, finally spotting the outline of his figure still sitting on the beanbag. I wondered to myself if he had slept through the entire night on that thing. "What...why am I still here?" I questioned rather stupidly.
He got off the beanbag and pulled the curtains back from the huge glass windows. Light poured in like sheets of glass as I reflexively flung a hand in front of my eyes to shield myself from the blinding light. He stood by the window without a care to the sudden brightness. "You don't remember? Ah, well you must have been tired," he mumbled. "You fell asleep and I didn't want to wake you."
I blushed a faint rose. I had fallen asleep? Oh right, of course I had. Yesterday's events slowly returned to my still muddled mind. I had thought maybe it had all been a dream...but no. It was real. And it wasn't just a moment thing. He was still being awfully nice to me.
"Anyway, I finished our project," he continued and turned to grin at me. His grin lit up his whole face. No one would ever suspect that his father was so abusive and cruel. I smiled sadly to myself. "And you better hurry if we want to get to school on time."
I looked at him with surprise and he quickly continued, "I don't care about being late, but seeing that you're here...I don't want to be blamed for ruining your perfect attendance."
I smiled at him. "Okay, I'll be ready in three minutes if you could lend me a spare toothbrush."
"Oh, er..." he walked across the room and entered a white door. He came out seconds later and pointed into the room. "This is the bathroom. I've placed an extra toothbrush, toothpaste and towel if you need it."
I couldn't help but smile even more. He seemed like a pretty organized person. At least bathroom wise. "Thank you."
He shrugged and walked to his closet. It was then that I realized he was wearing his pajamas; a white undershirt and navy blue boxers with a silver dragon design bordering the bottom. I flushed and nearly ran into the bathroom, slamming the door a bit too hard behind me. I caught my breath and stared at myself in the big wall-sized mirror.
My hair was slightly frizzy, but I thought I looked pretty awake for 7:15 in the morning. My mother's earring was still hanging daintily on my ear and a sudden wave of warmth washed through me. I picked up the spare toothbrush, yellow with chocobo footprints, and squeezed out just the right amount of toothpaste. As I was brushing my teeth, I slowly realized that we would be going to school together.
Unless he decided to be mean and let me walk the whole way there. But I silently scolded myself for thinking such things. Tidus seemed to be nice...as strange as that thought was to my mind. It was so weird...it was as if the sudden understanding between us had melted away the barrier that had separated us into two different worlds. That understanding...of loosing someone important in your life.
That understanding of having no mother. And in his case...it didn't seem like he had a father either.
I rinsed out my mouth and paused suddenly. But...but maybe it was pity.
...He pitied me?
I glanced up at my reflection and my blue green eyes fell slightly. Pity...was that what he felt for me? Pity when he saw that look in my eyes when Dona broke my precious earring? Pity when he saw me tear away from them and run to hide beneath the comforting shadows of the oak tree? Pity...that finally made him think he should be nice to me?
Not because he had suddenly thought what a wonderful person I was?
Not that I thought I was a wonderful person...
And maybe right now as I thought about all those possibilities, he could be standing outside grumbling at how annoying it was to be nice to me. For all I knew, he could be screaming curses at me like he usually did. But because of pity, he was laying low.
I swallowed thickly.
Maybe I was thinking too much.
"Hey, are you done yet?" Came a distant shout.
I washed my face quickly. Why did I feel so insecure?
I exited the bathroom slowly, but he didn't seem to notice the look of deep thought on my face as he quickly hurried up the stairs. "Now we really gotta hurry," he mumbled as the last of his blue shorts disappeared from my sight. I followed him upstairs to a silent living room.
"Where's your dad?" I couldn't help but ask.
"Oh, probably out already," he answered stiffly while putting on his yellow running shoes. He pointed to my school bag sitting by my shoes and I quickly followed his lead.
We were out the door and in the car in a matter of seconds. I let my mind wander again as he drove down and up the streets towards Yunalesca High. I stole glances at him occasionally, trying to decipher the look in his eyes. To see if it was real friendship he felt...or just plain pity. Maybe he was scared that I would go emotionally unstable again and he didn't want to carry that burden of knowing he and his friends had caused it.
Maybe he felt like he had to stabilize my emotions first and then dump me into my little corner of seclusion later. Then it'd be back to old times again. It was a cycle. An endless cycle of pity.
I frowned deeply. I was being silly, I reassured myself. He said so himself that he wanted to be friends -- kind of. But it would be okay if he decided not to again. I didn't mind...did I?
I sighed and fogged up the car window for a brief second. It was that sudden taste of friendship that made me so insecure. I had felt what it was like to have a friend, to talk with someone about things. Not just about clothes, or movies, or shallow topics...but something deep. It was that sudden taste of having a "real" friend...and I didn't want to loose it.
I shook my head. Lulu was my friend, wasn't she? But it was so different with her...it was hard to explain the differences, but there was a difference. I could feel it so deeply within myself. With Tidus...it was like an old lost friend I had suddenly found.
But what was I saying? He wasn't some old lost friend. He was more like an old lost enemy.
Oh, stupid insecurity.
"Er, are you going to get out or not?"
I blinked rapidly and looked to my left and right, suddenly noticing that the car had stopped and we were parked in the school parking lot. Tidus was already out of the car but his head was poking in from the window.
I quickly got out without another word, my thoughts still reeling as I watched him lock the car and walk towards the school building with his bag slung across his shoulder. He didn't once look back, and my heart sunk. He was going to ditch me, wasn't he? Just like I had expected. Hello reality, welcome back, I thought glumly.
But he turned then, and I knew that maybe all my thoughts had just been silly and pointless.
He looked at me with an unreadable expression on his face before waving his hand, beckoning me to follow him. "You really are trying to get us late, aren't you? Well, I'm surprised! Good little Yuna?"
I knew he was teasing. I giggled to myself and caught up with him as we walked through the front doors of Yunalesca High together. I had never entered the school building with someone by my side. I had never even set foot onto school grounds with someone so close by that they could pass as my shadow. And to think it was with Tidus of all people.
I dared myself to glance his way. And when I did, I knew I would never regret in my life. His breathtaking azure eyes returned my gaze and somehow, even through all my insecurities, I knew that never would I walk alone again.
When we entered Al Bhed class together, and in Tidus' case, early, Mr. Rin couldn't conceal the look of surprise on his face. I turned my head quickly towards the other students and saw that they all had identical looks of shock and disgust on their face. I shifted my gaze towards Rikku, the only person in his gang that was in this class.
She was looking curiously at Tidus with a questioning look on her childishly cute face. My eyes darted back to Tidus who smiled at her and said hello, sitting down in the desk next to her. I was hoping maybe he would drag me along and say, "And this is Yuna, my new friend," but he didn't and I slowly sat down at my seat closer to the front. I found myself straining to catch any bits of their conversation but they were too far back for me to hear.
I slapped myself mentally. Eavesdropping wasn't exactly good.
"Class, please hand in your projects on my desk," Mr. Rin's voice rang out through the room.
The class didn't move an inch. My brow furrowed and I looked over my shoulder, trying to catch Tidus' gaze but he would not look my way. He was having some conversation with Rikku and didn't seem to notice.
"Well? Isn't anyone going to hand in their projects?" Mr. Rin's voice seemed slightly impatient.
Rikku raised her hand and Mr. Rin glanced at her with a frown. "We didn't finish it!"
The class chimed with her, "We didn't finish it either!"
I looked over my shoulder again and wanted to scream to Tidus, "But we did! We can still hand in our project while everyone else fails!" but I couldn't find my voice.
Mr. Rin sighed, "All of you?" He scanned the entire class and his gaze landed on me. "Miss. Yuna. You are a smart, intelligent girl. Don't tell me you and your partner didn't finish it?"
I sat up quickly and opened my mouth, "No! No, but I did--"
"Did not finish it!" Tidus' voice cut in and I nearly snapped my head back to stare at him. He didn't look at me though as he continued speaking to Mr. Rin. "Yes,Yuna is a smart girl and all, but she caught a cold this week and wasn't able to meet up with me after school to finish it. Health is more important anyways, right Mr. Rin?" He grinned sheepishly.
I raised an eyebrow at him, still boring my gaze into him. What on Spira was he saying? We finished the darn project! Unless he didn't finish the last page like he said he had. But it was only one measly page! We could have handed it in and we would have aced it easily! He finally looked at me and mouthed a few words that looked like, "Talk to you later."
I frowned deeply and turned around in my seat to face the front again. Mr. Rin was lecturing the class about finishing assignments and going on about responsibility and the importance of it all. But I didn't hear much of it as my mind was still fuming and muddled at Tidus' weird behavior.
Was it another trick of some sort?
I begged and prayed to Yevon it wasn't. It really would bring me crashing down to reality if Tidus suddenly popped up with our project ripped into shreds, saying he didn't care about his marks at all and that he just wanted to waste my time and effort.
I shivered at that image and shook it out of my head. A person couldn't be that cruel, right?
And...and we had talked like we were friends. He couldn't have such a quick change of heart, could he?
The bell rung and Mr. Rin was still babbling on.
The class ignored him and each were packing up their books and rushing out of the classroom, pushing by each other with brute force. I slowly picked up my books and stole a glance at Tidus who was being pulled by Rikku towards the door. He shook his head slightly and said loudly, "I'll meet you at the cafeteria in two minutes."
Rikku reluctantly nodded and skipped out the door. I walked out of the classroom until Tidus caught up to me and grabbed my arm. I let out a frustrated sigh and turned to look up at him. "What was that?"
"Okay, well, you see--"
I blinked quickly, "You didn't shred up our project did you? You're not going to throw it into my face and tell me that you don't care about the work we did, right? That you just wanted to waste my time?" I braced myself for his reply.
"Um, no," he answered and stared at me strangely. He opened his binder. "It's right here."
I let out a sigh of relief but suddenly frowned. "Then why didn't we hand it in?"
"Because...because no one else did," he answered quickly and nodded as if it were the most obvious answer on Spira. "Hell no was I going to look like a geek in front of everyone! I'm not the goody goody type in everyone's eyes!"
It was my turn to stare. He ran a hand through his blonde spiky hair and quickly continued, "Well, that's all there is to it. I better go meet up with Rikku at the caf, catch you later."
I grabbed his arm swiftly as he turned to leave. He stopped and growled under his breath. "What now?"
I was slightly shocked at the annoyance in his tone and I dropped his hand. "It's just because of that?"
He raised his eyebrows and turned to look at me. "What do you mean?"
"I should be asking you that!" I snapped and calmed myself with a pause for breath. "It's just because you don't want everyone to think you're a nerd? A geek? So you don't want to hand in the project we worked so hard on for the whole week?"
He nodded slowly and tilted his head, "Er, yeah, that's basically what I said."
I continued to stare.
He threw his hands in the air. "Okay, you don't seem to get it. But then again you wouldn't get it anyways."
"Maybe if you explained yourself better I would," I mumbled.
"Okay, well, fine," he replied. "You see, I have a reputation around here. Star player of the Zanarkand Abes and a hell lotta stuff."
I bit my lip. "So this is about your reputation?"
He frowned and nodded awkwardly. "Ya...that's it. That's all there is to it. Now do you get it?"
"...Sure, I do, but--"
"Then that's good!" He smiled quickly and turned to leave. "Catch you later!"
I opened my mouth to stop him but he was running down the hallway now, people waving to him as he passed by. Smiling at him as he passed by. I watched as he turned the corner and headed towards the cafeteria.
At first, his words had been confusing, but I slowly got a grasp on them.
...He did have a reputation here. He did have something to uphold. He didn't want to look like a geek because...because of that reputation he had built for himself. He wasn't suppose to be studious. He was suppose to be a blitz player, cool and relaxed. He was popular and the reason why the female population sighed like lovesick fools during class.
I didn't understand it fully but that was because I didn't have a reputation.
We were different in that way.
I didn't have anything to uphold except...except to be the school freak.
I shook my head to myself and turned to go down the hallway. To Tidus, his reputation was more important to him. For a second, the word 'selfish' flashed about in my mind. I sighed. I guess I couldn't expect a 360-degree change in him when he had decided to be somewhat friendly to me.
Oh, here I was again, being insecure about his true feelings towards me. Maybe it was pity.
And then it hit me.
Yes, we were different in that he had some glorious reputation to uphold while I just had my own dreams to dwell in. But there it was, our similarity. I was so insecure that he would turn away at any second and realize he was being nice to the girl he hated so much some days ago. He would look at me in surprise and flinch, calling me 'freak' or whatever names he had called me before.
But he was insecure too.
He was insecure, just like me. He didn't want his friends to turn on him because he had been a good student and done the project. He didn't want his friends to think he was anything but the cool and relaxed blitz player his reputation seemed to say.
...my anger faded then, realizing that he was just as insecure as me. Just in a different way. I laughed to myself at how odd the situation was. To someone on the outside, we were like black and white, cat to mouse. And yet, if you would just linger a moment longer, you'd realize that the black and white were turning grey and the cat and mouse were sharing cheese.
It was that morning that I decided to help him. Help him realize that being true to yourself was so much more important. And maybe along the way I would drop my own insecurities too. Just maybe I would be able to come out of that cocoon I had built for myself and emerge as a fully developed butterfly.
Then everyone would turn their heads and wonder to themselves what just happened and all the while I would just flutter by with my colourful wings, free from harsh winds and free to fly my own course.
I opened my mouth slightly and whispered, "Tidus is my friend."
The words were so odd, hanging in the air in front of me as I peered around me to make sure no one had heard me. I said it again and it felt nice coming from my lips. I said it until I was sure that it was true. That this was not an act, that this was real friendship, nor was it but a dream.
I smiled as I walked down that hallway towards my locker until a voice called out to me that made me stop.
"Yuna?"
I turned around still smiling. There he was, standing there looking slightly flustered. "Hey," I greeted.
"Sorry about that," he grumbled, all the while looking at the floor. "When I sat down with Dona and everyone, I suddenly realized how selfish that must have sounded."
I tilted my head to get a better look at his eyes. "Really?"
He looked up and caught my gaze. He nodded. "Yeah. But you know what?" He smiled then.
I glanced back at him curiously, "What?"
"I handed it in. Our project. Mr. Rin stared at me real weird but he looked at it and we got perfect," he said this all so quickly and excitedly. It was like he was a child rambling on about his new toy train. I smiled inwardly.
"But...can you not say anything?" He added quietly.
I nodded and he looked at me with a hint of surprise. I giggled, "Well, we can't ruin your reputation now can we?"
He flushed slightly, "Hey! But...er...thanks."
"No problem," I answered. "But you know what?"
"...What?"
"...It really shouldn't matter. If they really are your friends...they won't care all that much," I spoke gently, letting him absorb my words. "Just be true to yourself."
He stared at me, blinking rapidly as he looked away abruptly. "You freak me out sometimes."
"I do?"
"Ya, you and your little mind reading," he laughed lightly but he stopped to look at me seriously. "But you know what?"
I raised an eyebrow. "What?"
"You have to start loosening up! Geez, trust me alright? I'm not going to kick you aside once I think you're not going to break down and cry again or something," he murmured. "We're friends. Plain and simple."
I nearly choked on my breath. He grinned. "Ha! I got you on that one didn't I?"
"How'd you know what I was thinking?" I gasped.
"Well, it's kind of easy to piece together," he replied. "You immediately guessed that I had ripped up our project or something when I didn't want to hand it in. You thought I was going to pull some trick on you again, didn't you? Well, sorry to disappoint you Yuna, but I'm being genuinely nice to you, as hard as it is to believe."
I laughed at the oddness of his sentence, but I couldn't help but notice the wonderful feeling of having my insecurities soothed. I hoped I had done the same for him. It was funny that we were able to calm each other's frights and worries. It was funny how we suddenly understood each other so well. Like two sides of the same coin almost.
But we had our reasons to be insecure. I had been tricked too many times to trust so easily and to quickly accept that he really was being a friend. And I understood now that it was the same idea for him. His reputation was somewhat a pressure, a mold, for who he was suppose to be. He thought his friends were only his friends because of that reputation. He couldn't easily let go of that reputation without a few risks, just as I was putting my feelings into risk for accepting him as a friend.
It was the same idea really.
"Hey, c'mon! I want you to see for yourself that I handed in that project, just in case you still don't trust me!"
"Okay, okay, don't make me feel bad! I do trust you!"
"You sure?"
"Uh huh," I nodded.
"Then you're not scared of me right?"
"Scared? Hey I wasn't scared!"
"Really?" He had a hint of mischief in his voice.
"Really!"
"Well then are you scared now?" He reached out so quickly that I didn't know what was happening until I was rolling about on the floor in shrieks of laughter. "Stopppp!!" I shrieked.
"Not if I can help it!"
I launched my fingers at him. "Fine! Then take that!"
And the fight was on.
AN: Eeep, this chapter was more of a "transition chapter" from Tidus vs. Yuna to Tidus and Yuna if you get what I mean. Of course Yuna would feel kind of iffy that Tidus was being nice and of course Tidus has his own little things to deal with too. They just had to get past their own insecurities ^-^ Hohum...things will pick up again next chapter as Tidus' gang finds out that they're friends! Oh dear...