*~Note~* Personally, I think that this story is better without this extra
chapter. The only reason I'm writing this is because
teenagemutantninjaturtles (I think that's it- sorry if I got it wrong)
asked me to explain what jk didn't. Well, I can't really give an answer
that will really be valid for future books as only she really knows, but
I'll give my opinion through Remus. Like I said though, I think this
chapter may detract from the first one. If you want a really good story
about how Remus deals with his pain, I suggest you go to my good friend
Rinne's (Rinnington on fanfiction's) story "A Late Night Cup of Tea." She's
insanely good with all kinds of fan fiction, particularly with stories
relating to Lupin ^_^
The trip back to #12 Grimmauld place passed in a blur for Remus. He refused to think about the Sirius and the veil. But he could not escape the cruel pain that manifested itself in his very bones and mind. He could not think, and his thoughts flitted though his brain, disjointed and scattered.
He had known this kind of pain only once before, when the Potters had been killed fifteen years ago, and the Peter has supposedly been murdered, and Sirius had been linked with all four deaths. Such misery had he known then! Growing up as a werewolf he never thought he would have such close friends, but then he had been excepted by James, Sirius, and Peter, who did not find his secret terrifying; on the contrary, they saw it as another adventure. After he had heard Sirius's view in the shrieking shack, he again felt joy, knowing he was not alone after all. But to have Sirius taken from him twice! The thought was simply unbearable.
Could he have prevented Sirius's demise? Images of the battle that had taken place in the room with the veil flashed across his mind. He had not really been thinking about Sirius at the time. He did not think that he had had to. After all, Sirius had been given to him again. Once more- they were invincible. But only in their minds. For now, Remus was again alone.
AS soon as they smaller party had returned to Grimmauld place, he had secluded himself in the room he had used while staying at... Sirius's house. Now it would of course be Harry's. Everything he saw reminded him of Sirius... The decapitated heads of house elves, which Sirius had mocked, the small writing desk Sirius had sat at while he composed his letters to Harry, the various gadgets he had saved from the Hogwarts days... It was unbearable to be in a place that he and Sirius's had both shared so recently.
For a long time he sat there, in his room devoid of any light or fire, staring at the ground listlessly. Sirius was truly gone. Sometime in the night he made his way down to the library, wit only a small candle to light his way. Quietly as though not to disturb anybody, he pushed open the heavy wooden door, and closed it behind him.
"Remus," A rough voice said.
Remus started and turned around. "Oh, Alastor," He said dully noticing the odd looking man who was seated in an ancient armchair by the lighted fireplace. Why? He thought to himself, did he have to be here? To talk to somebody was the last thing he wanted to do. "What are you doing here," he demanded, a bit more forcefully than he had intended.
"Thinking," Alastor replied. Remus walked closer to the man, and was mildly surprised to see a worn photo clutched in his right hand.
"What is that?" Remus said, gesturing towards the picture.
Alastor grunted, and held it out for Remus to see.
Remus took it, gingerly and stared. Pain washed over him as he noticed the all-too familiar smiling and waving at him. There they were; the original order of the Phoenix. Pain swept over him as he noticed five people in particular, standing next to one another so comfortably: James, Lily, Peter, himself, and... Sirius. What had gone wrong since the picture had been taken? Remus thought as he felt the unfamiliar sensation of tears building up in his eyes. James, Lily, Sirius...all had been murdered, and Peter had betrayed all of the happy people in the photo. His eyes swept over the other people- all so happy in the photo; it preserved all the joy for him that life had not.
"So many of 'em dead," Alastor said, as though he could read Remus's thoughts.
Remus was surprised. Never before had he heard emotion other than anger pass through the aurors lips. But now he heard sadness and regret. "Yes," he responded. He sat down on the armchair facing Alastor's and stared at the fire; the photo still clutched in his hand.
"Amazing how those we care about can be snatched from us at any time," Moody was saying. "I'm sorry about Sirius, Remus...he was a good man."
"Yes," Remus repeated. He did not wanted to talk, especially after seeing the photo. It had wakened so many memories of the old days he did not even know he had had.
"He died the way he would have wanted, protecting Harry," Alastor said, trying to soothe himself as much as Remus.
"He didn't want to die at all!" Remus said. Suddenly he was furious; furious at Alastor for being there, at Harry for putting himself in danger, at Voldemort for starting the war, at Dumbledore, Albus, and so many others...
"Nobody wants to die," Alastor was saying.
"Nobody?" Remus cried, "I want to die!"
"But you can't," Said softly, "You're time has not yet come. You are still needed... think of Harry."
"It's because of Harry that Sirius is dead!" Remus shouted.
"It's because of Voldemort and the death eaters that Sirius is dead," Alastor said.
Remus was breathing heavily, from exhaustion and grief. "I...I'm sorry," he said quietly, "I don't know what came over me. He had not intended to yell at Alastor. After all, the auror was obviously trying to help him.
"It's alright, I know how you feel Remus," Alastor said. He rose and patted Remus awkwardly on his shoulder.
Remus stared at Alastor. He had never thought of the man as anything but a powerful auror. He had always been somebody so aloof and seemingly emotionless that Remus never really had thought of the auror as a human being with his own story. "You've lost somebody?" Remus asked quietly.
"Many people," Alastor replied quietly, though he did not elaborate.
"Why did Sirius die?" Remus asked, despair flooding through him again.
"Why does anybody have to die?" Alastor replied. "But it is always harder for those left behind. Remember that, Remus. Harry will be depending on you. He needs you."
"He needs Sirius," Remus replied, "Sirius was like a father to him. I can never be that for the boy."
"And why not?"
"Well I...I don't know...Sirius was always closest to James. He possessed the same vigor, the same excitement..." Remus trailed off, not knowing exactly how to put his thoughts into words.
"Harry will not need excitement in the times ahead," Alastor replied, "What he will need is somebody to talk to him. Somebody to help him along."
"That's what Dumbledore's for," Remus said, picking at a stray thread in the armchair.
"No," Moody responded thoughtfully, "Dumbledore does love Harry, but he will...not be around forever you know. And in the meantime he has so many responsibilities now that Voldemort is back."
Remus did not know what to say to this. Already the initial rush of pain was leaving him, though it left behind an incredible numbness and pain behind as his mind began to accept the loss. "Alastor," he said quietly, "I have one question..."
"Yes?"
"It's, it's about the veil. There was something surreal about it... why did Sirius not appear on the other side? Where is he?"
"As I do not work in the Department of Mysteries myself, I do not really know... But I have heard whisperings... Where Sirius is, I do not know, but I have heard that the arch and veil are portals to... another world."
"What?" Remus breathed, "Sirius may not be dead?"
Alastor grunted as he pushed himself up off his chair. "Do not hope for it Remus. Better you accept that he's dead."
Remus turned his gaze back to the fire, "oh."
"Well, I'm going to bed now Remus."
"Good night Alastor," Remus said, "I'll think I will stay up a but longer."
Remus felt Alastor's hand brush against his shoulder in reassurance, and then he was gone.
But Remus stayed, mind pensive, and heart heavy. And when he finally fell asleep, visions of mirrors played through his mind.
DO NOT READ beyond this point if you don't want to know what I think
happened to Sirius
I am addicted to mugglenet.com, and as they post all of JK's interviews which I have read, I have developed an idea at what might happen to Sirius in future books. For starters, I think we will be hearing from him in later books. Either as Luna Lovegood said Harry could probably communicate with Sirius through the veil, or, as I think is more possible, Harry and Sirius will use the mirrors. In a recent interview, JK was asked a question as to whether the mirrors that Sirius and Harry used would come into play in later books, JK said "ooh, good question! There's your answer." Some could argue that Harry smashed his mirror in OotP, but it's possible it could be fixed with spells like "reparo" or Remus has one as well. Secondly, I think that the archway/veil is the portal to another world. I know this seems far- fetched, but, in another interview, JK said something about there being a whole new world in book 5. As there wasn't a whole new world mentioned in book 5, I'm assuming that the archway/veil had something to do with it. So- that's my two-cents ^_^
The trip back to #12 Grimmauld place passed in a blur for Remus. He refused to think about the Sirius and the veil. But he could not escape the cruel pain that manifested itself in his very bones and mind. He could not think, and his thoughts flitted though his brain, disjointed and scattered.
He had known this kind of pain only once before, when the Potters had been killed fifteen years ago, and the Peter has supposedly been murdered, and Sirius had been linked with all four deaths. Such misery had he known then! Growing up as a werewolf he never thought he would have such close friends, but then he had been excepted by James, Sirius, and Peter, who did not find his secret terrifying; on the contrary, they saw it as another adventure. After he had heard Sirius's view in the shrieking shack, he again felt joy, knowing he was not alone after all. But to have Sirius taken from him twice! The thought was simply unbearable.
Could he have prevented Sirius's demise? Images of the battle that had taken place in the room with the veil flashed across his mind. He had not really been thinking about Sirius at the time. He did not think that he had had to. After all, Sirius had been given to him again. Once more- they were invincible. But only in their minds. For now, Remus was again alone.
AS soon as they smaller party had returned to Grimmauld place, he had secluded himself in the room he had used while staying at... Sirius's house. Now it would of course be Harry's. Everything he saw reminded him of Sirius... The decapitated heads of house elves, which Sirius had mocked, the small writing desk Sirius had sat at while he composed his letters to Harry, the various gadgets he had saved from the Hogwarts days... It was unbearable to be in a place that he and Sirius's had both shared so recently.
For a long time he sat there, in his room devoid of any light or fire, staring at the ground listlessly. Sirius was truly gone. Sometime in the night he made his way down to the library, wit only a small candle to light his way. Quietly as though not to disturb anybody, he pushed open the heavy wooden door, and closed it behind him.
"Remus," A rough voice said.
Remus started and turned around. "Oh, Alastor," He said dully noticing the odd looking man who was seated in an ancient armchair by the lighted fireplace. Why? He thought to himself, did he have to be here? To talk to somebody was the last thing he wanted to do. "What are you doing here," he demanded, a bit more forcefully than he had intended.
"Thinking," Alastor replied. Remus walked closer to the man, and was mildly surprised to see a worn photo clutched in his right hand.
"What is that?" Remus said, gesturing towards the picture.
Alastor grunted, and held it out for Remus to see.
Remus took it, gingerly and stared. Pain washed over him as he noticed the all-too familiar smiling and waving at him. There they were; the original order of the Phoenix. Pain swept over him as he noticed five people in particular, standing next to one another so comfortably: James, Lily, Peter, himself, and... Sirius. What had gone wrong since the picture had been taken? Remus thought as he felt the unfamiliar sensation of tears building up in his eyes. James, Lily, Sirius...all had been murdered, and Peter had betrayed all of the happy people in the photo. His eyes swept over the other people- all so happy in the photo; it preserved all the joy for him that life had not.
"So many of 'em dead," Alastor said, as though he could read Remus's thoughts.
Remus was surprised. Never before had he heard emotion other than anger pass through the aurors lips. But now he heard sadness and regret. "Yes," he responded. He sat down on the armchair facing Alastor's and stared at the fire; the photo still clutched in his hand.
"Amazing how those we care about can be snatched from us at any time," Moody was saying. "I'm sorry about Sirius, Remus...he was a good man."
"Yes," Remus repeated. He did not wanted to talk, especially after seeing the photo. It had wakened so many memories of the old days he did not even know he had had.
"He died the way he would have wanted, protecting Harry," Alastor said, trying to soothe himself as much as Remus.
"He didn't want to die at all!" Remus said. Suddenly he was furious; furious at Alastor for being there, at Harry for putting himself in danger, at Voldemort for starting the war, at Dumbledore, Albus, and so many others...
"Nobody wants to die," Alastor was saying.
"Nobody?" Remus cried, "I want to die!"
"But you can't," Said softly, "You're time has not yet come. You are still needed... think of Harry."
"It's because of Harry that Sirius is dead!" Remus shouted.
"It's because of Voldemort and the death eaters that Sirius is dead," Alastor said.
Remus was breathing heavily, from exhaustion and grief. "I...I'm sorry," he said quietly, "I don't know what came over me. He had not intended to yell at Alastor. After all, the auror was obviously trying to help him.
"It's alright, I know how you feel Remus," Alastor said. He rose and patted Remus awkwardly on his shoulder.
Remus stared at Alastor. He had never thought of the man as anything but a powerful auror. He had always been somebody so aloof and seemingly emotionless that Remus never really had thought of the auror as a human being with his own story. "You've lost somebody?" Remus asked quietly.
"Many people," Alastor replied quietly, though he did not elaborate.
"Why did Sirius die?" Remus asked, despair flooding through him again.
"Why does anybody have to die?" Alastor replied. "But it is always harder for those left behind. Remember that, Remus. Harry will be depending on you. He needs you."
"He needs Sirius," Remus replied, "Sirius was like a father to him. I can never be that for the boy."
"And why not?"
"Well I...I don't know...Sirius was always closest to James. He possessed the same vigor, the same excitement..." Remus trailed off, not knowing exactly how to put his thoughts into words.
"Harry will not need excitement in the times ahead," Alastor replied, "What he will need is somebody to talk to him. Somebody to help him along."
"That's what Dumbledore's for," Remus said, picking at a stray thread in the armchair.
"No," Moody responded thoughtfully, "Dumbledore does love Harry, but he will...not be around forever you know. And in the meantime he has so many responsibilities now that Voldemort is back."
Remus did not know what to say to this. Already the initial rush of pain was leaving him, though it left behind an incredible numbness and pain behind as his mind began to accept the loss. "Alastor," he said quietly, "I have one question..."
"Yes?"
"It's, it's about the veil. There was something surreal about it... why did Sirius not appear on the other side? Where is he?"
"As I do not work in the Department of Mysteries myself, I do not really know... But I have heard whisperings... Where Sirius is, I do not know, but I have heard that the arch and veil are portals to... another world."
"What?" Remus breathed, "Sirius may not be dead?"
Alastor grunted as he pushed himself up off his chair. "Do not hope for it Remus. Better you accept that he's dead."
Remus turned his gaze back to the fire, "oh."
"Well, I'm going to bed now Remus."
"Good night Alastor," Remus said, "I'll think I will stay up a but longer."
Remus felt Alastor's hand brush against his shoulder in reassurance, and then he was gone.
But Remus stayed, mind pensive, and heart heavy. And when he finally fell asleep, visions of mirrors played through his mind.
DO NOT READ beyond this point if you don't want to know what I think
happened to Sirius
I am addicted to mugglenet.com, and as they post all of JK's interviews which I have read, I have developed an idea at what might happen to Sirius in future books. For starters, I think we will be hearing from him in later books. Either as Luna Lovegood said Harry could probably communicate with Sirius through the veil, or, as I think is more possible, Harry and Sirius will use the mirrors. In a recent interview, JK was asked a question as to whether the mirrors that Sirius and Harry used would come into play in later books, JK said "ooh, good question! There's your answer." Some could argue that Harry smashed his mirror in OotP, but it's possible it could be fixed with spells like "reparo" or Remus has one as well. Secondly, I think that the archway/veil is the portal to another world. I know this seems far- fetched, but, in another interview, JK said something about there being a whole new world in book 5. As there wasn't a whole new world mentioned in book 5, I'm assuming that the archway/veil had something to do with it. So- that's my two-cents ^_^