CHAPTER 15: DETENTION WITH THE RESIDENT LOON
Disclaimer: Anything famous isn't mine. So don't sue.
A/N R&R as always, and thanks to my most devoted reader, Becky! Love ya! Also thanks to Cailie, for reading and reviewing and editing my raw copies and giving me ideas and thanks to Neil for uhh....reading.
*~~~*
Seconds ticked by and turned into minutes, as minutes did into hours. Hours eventually faded into days. In short, time passed. People moved on, pretending to let go, pretending they didn't feel hurt and pain, pretending everything was great; there faces of indifference a mask to the world.
Finally, there was one more week left in term, and after that there was a nice, long break. It was not at all desirable though, to spend a good deal of this week in the cold dungeons washing out the school supply of ancient cauldrons with muggle toothbrushes, accompanied by the slightly nutty Professor Marchbanks. But this was exactly what Cailie and Caitie were and would be doing. Mix in the little factor that Cailie had just lost her sister, and there were muggle-killing nutcases on the loose, and there was no doubt on anyone's mind that this would turn out to be an interesting night. They had already served the first half of their detention with Filch, and they quite honestly weren't sure which would be worse.
The duo shivered as they walked down the steps.
"Honestly, we are spending the best days of our life down here in damn detention," Cailie spat.
Caitie sighed, "Well there is that little fact that we were brawling in the classroom. But yes, I agree we are wasting our time. Seeing as how we're best friends, but all we do is insult and share dark humor together."
"Yes, but you started that one!" Caitie rolled her eyes, not wanting to get into another fight as of right now,
"It takes two to tangle, love." Cailie just gave her a 'look' and they both continued on there way silently.
Caitie heaved a great sigh as they reached the end of the dungeon- like corridor and faced a large stone, cold, gray, slab door that was easily camouflaged with the wall, and only the fire-lit torch that flickered shadows upon it eerily, showing the rusted hinges occasionally told otherwise.
"Prepare yourself for a fun and interesting night in the lives of Cailie and Smiley, who have boys falling all over them, lots of homework, sexually charged pranksters for best friends and yet they prefer to clean out the schools cauldrons," Cailie said, her voice dripping in sarcasm.
"Well, I really would prefer to be flirting with that hot Ravenclaw seventh year but, 'cause I'm such a good friend I'll tag along, but tomorrow we go prank some innocent first years..." she trailed off mid- snigger when Cailie slugged her.
"Ow. Jeez, I was being sarcastic," She whined, rubbing her arm tenderly.
"Oh." Cailie said automatically feeling stupid. She didn't like this feeling, so slugged her again. Caitie huffed and pushed the door open and stomped inside, but threw Cailie a smile over her shoulder before taking a glance at Professor Marchbanks.
Her outfit enough was enough to make even the least fashion conscious person in the world cringe, and enough to keep the extremely fashion minded duo gaping and gawking for the remainder of the detention. She had on black leggings, which was all perfectly fine with Caitie, seeing as how that was the style in muggle America. But she also had on green and red Christmas socks that were.... well...humming Christmas Carols and a pink Japanese muumuu over a Christmas sweater, and on her feet she wore fuzzy pink slippers.
"Well, what are you staring at? Here, here are the cauldrons. Take a seat, anywhere dearies, and just start scrubbing away!" She stood up, waving her arms around stupidly and speaking as if they were all on a highly amusing trip to some kind of magical park. Cailie and Caitie tore themselves away from the pink muumuu and sat down on the cold, stone floor, grabbed the toothbrushes and began scrubbing out the cauldrons.
They had barely gotten through one cauldron each when the professor got up from her position in her desk and started wandering around the room. She cocked her head to one side and looked at the ceiling,
"Dear me, I do believe the ceiling's leaking. Someone must've flooded the bathrooms again. Hooligans." Cailie snorted, attempting to turn her laugh into a hacking cough, and Caitie had to pretend to have dropped her toothbrush onto the crusty bottom of the cauldron to duck out of sight in order to keep her composure. After this Professor Marchbanks opened her mouth and spun around, arms out on either side of her,
"I'm singiiiing in the raaaiiiin, just signing in the raaaiiin!" The pair looked up at the professor, horrified.
"Err...." Caitie bit her lip, her gut instinct told her to get Madam Promfrey and tell her the professor had gone 'round the bend. The professor gave them a glare,
"Well, get back to work, this is a detention, not a coffee clutch." Eyebrows raised and shaking their heads, they went back to work.
They were about halfway through the pile when They heard parchment flying, the professor had just taken a large pile of what looked like essays and threw them up into the air, apparently looking for something. She got up, tumbling the wooden chair over and shouted exasperatedly,
"Where could it have gone!? I swear I put it right here." She paced around the room, looking the stupidest places, muttering to herself all the while, her socks still singing,
"Joy to the world!"
"Professor, are you...uhm...talking to us?" Cailie asked, looking sincerely disturbed.
The professor looked at them as if they were the insane ones, and waved her arms around some more, as if attempting to shoo them away,
"No, no, why would I be talking to you? You wouldn't know where my lesson parchment was.... now, go back to your cauldrons, for the last time." Cailie rolled her eyes, and Caitie said in an undertone,
"If she keeps this up, she's going to flap herself into the ceiling." Cailie stifled a giggle and they continued on in this manner until the professor told them they could go,
"But be back tomorrow! Same time, and we'll have some more fun fun fun!" The duo fled the room as fast as was humanly possible and waited until they got into a normal, well-lit corridor before collapsing into a fit of giggles, crying from laughter.
*~~~*
Remus Lupin did a "James" and slicked his hair back before descending from the boys tower and down into the Common Room, where Lily was waiting impatiently, so they could begin their weekly prefect rounds. Usually, Lily and Remus traded off so Lily patrolled with the Ravenclaw fifth year boy, and Remus patrolled with Jessi, but Jessi had a Quidditch practice and switched off with some Hufflepuffs, so Remus was stuck patrolling with Lily, who, as far as he knew, hated his and all his friend's guts. 'Course, she didn't hate him with the passion she hated James and Sirius, but they weren't exactly friendly either, for Lily had stated he was immature as well, just not as impossibly arrogant as them. They started off down the hallways, Lupin jogging to keep up with Lily's brisk pace. The silence was uncomfortably awkward, and after about fifteen minutes of this, Lily couldn't stand it anymore, and in between reprimanding students and threatening to dock points, she went on a tangent about anything and everything.
"And I can't believe the O.W.L's are so close, I'm so afraid I'm not going to do well-Hey! Go back to your dorm, immediately, it's after curfew! But anyway, I'm glad the professors aren't testing us; they so pick favorites-could you please keep the PDA to a minimum? And this does not include snogging in the corridor-Potter, obviously, everyone loves him, as well as Black, and you, but at least you earned it. And everyone just loves the Girlies. Whores." She took a breath and started to continue, but Remus cut her off.
"You know, this is my friends you're talking about, here."
"Oh, right, sorry." Lily fell silent, and they continued to make there rounds until they came upon two girls in stitches with laughter.
"Uhh, Cailie? Smiley? Not to be rude or anything, but what the hell are you doing?" Caitie looked up, her face purple from laughter,
"Detention...Marchbanks...nutcase...muumuu." She gasped before falling over in hysterics again. Lily cocked her head and raised her eyebrows, just looking all the more confused, but Remus grinned goofily and chuckled a little.
"Oh, so you understand what they're finding so amusing then, are you?" Lily asked, a bitter edge to her voice. Lily didn't like the Girlies, especially not the French one, Cailie. 'She could be more egotistical and more horrible to people then James, and that's truly saying something. And anyone who chooses willingly to be friends with her needs a strong dose of reality' Lily thought, dislike spread plainly across her face.
"Well, I got the gist of it," Remus said, shrugging, pulling Lily from her thoughts.
"Oh. Well, even if you had detention that' s no reason to still be out here. I'll talk to Professor McGonogall about docking some points," She said briskly, and began to walk off, expecting Lupin to follow her. Instead, he was helping the two up, and his jaw had slackened. 'The way they're talking and laughing, it's like they don't even care. They'll just be able to get the points back anyway, probably not even doing something worthwhile of them. Oh, they're so disgusting. It's so unfair.' Lily stalked off; ready to throw a temper-tantrum, like she did when she was three. Throwing closet doors open, attempting to catch unsuspecting students, and then slamming them closed when her attempts were in vain, she felt like she was going to scream.
Remus quickly jogged up to her and said,
"You know, you're not going to accomplish anything by having a right little hissy-fit." Lily fumed at him,
"Well, why not? All you're friends do it, and it's ok for them. But I can't. 'Course not, Lily Evan's isn't pretty enough, and she actually has to work to get good grades. 'Course Lily can't throw a hissy-fit, 'cause no one can cause useless drama about there useless, pathetic lives, unless they're the infamous Girlies or the sexy Marauders, who are famous for one- night-stands, but still have girls weak in the knees if they look they're way! I hate it!"
Remus looked at her, eyes wide.
"Look, I know my friends aren't saints, neither am I, hell we can be outright jerks at times. But you don't even know half the story. From f r away they seem like they have the perfect lives. But they don't. We don't, I don't. I know it's not an excuse for any of our behavior towards everyone else, but maybe you should get to know them a little, they're really great people deep down. A great muggle once said, 'don't talk about a person until you have walked a mile in their shoes.'" Lily became thoughtful, and in her heart, she knew Remus was right. But Lily had always been what her friends had fondly called,
'A Stubborn-ass', and she was definitely not ready to admit it. So, as an excuse to not say anything, she opened one last door, and recoiled in horror. There was James, stupid grin plastered on his face, in only his boxers, with a younger Ravenclaw, Elisa, Lily thought her name was, who looked like a deer in headlights. There hair was tousled, and Elisa's make- up was smeared. It was rather obvious what had been taking place.
Lily was struck-dumb for a moment, but she recovered quickly, and shooting a glare at both Remus and James, and then in a 'huff' ran off.
Remus gave James a hit upside the head.
"Ouch, what was that about!?" Asked James, looking at Remus grumpily.
"Prongs, I almost had the girl convinced you were half-reasonable. Then we walk in on you and her shagging in the broom closet." It was James' turn to look stricken, and he to, huffed away, leaving a very distraught Elisa.
Disclaimer: Anything famous isn't mine. So don't sue.
A/N R&R as always, and thanks to my most devoted reader, Becky! Love ya! Also thanks to Cailie, for reading and reviewing and editing my raw copies and giving me ideas and thanks to Neil for uhh....reading.
*~~~*
Seconds ticked by and turned into minutes, as minutes did into hours. Hours eventually faded into days. In short, time passed. People moved on, pretending to let go, pretending they didn't feel hurt and pain, pretending everything was great; there faces of indifference a mask to the world.
Finally, there was one more week left in term, and after that there was a nice, long break. It was not at all desirable though, to spend a good deal of this week in the cold dungeons washing out the school supply of ancient cauldrons with muggle toothbrushes, accompanied by the slightly nutty Professor Marchbanks. But this was exactly what Cailie and Caitie were and would be doing. Mix in the little factor that Cailie had just lost her sister, and there were muggle-killing nutcases on the loose, and there was no doubt on anyone's mind that this would turn out to be an interesting night. They had already served the first half of their detention with Filch, and they quite honestly weren't sure which would be worse.
The duo shivered as they walked down the steps.
"Honestly, we are spending the best days of our life down here in damn detention," Cailie spat.
Caitie sighed, "Well there is that little fact that we were brawling in the classroom. But yes, I agree we are wasting our time. Seeing as how we're best friends, but all we do is insult and share dark humor together."
"Yes, but you started that one!" Caitie rolled her eyes, not wanting to get into another fight as of right now,
"It takes two to tangle, love." Cailie just gave her a 'look' and they both continued on there way silently.
Caitie heaved a great sigh as they reached the end of the dungeon- like corridor and faced a large stone, cold, gray, slab door that was easily camouflaged with the wall, and only the fire-lit torch that flickered shadows upon it eerily, showing the rusted hinges occasionally told otherwise.
"Prepare yourself for a fun and interesting night in the lives of Cailie and Smiley, who have boys falling all over them, lots of homework, sexually charged pranksters for best friends and yet they prefer to clean out the schools cauldrons," Cailie said, her voice dripping in sarcasm.
"Well, I really would prefer to be flirting with that hot Ravenclaw seventh year but, 'cause I'm such a good friend I'll tag along, but tomorrow we go prank some innocent first years..." she trailed off mid- snigger when Cailie slugged her.
"Ow. Jeez, I was being sarcastic," She whined, rubbing her arm tenderly.
"Oh." Cailie said automatically feeling stupid. She didn't like this feeling, so slugged her again. Caitie huffed and pushed the door open and stomped inside, but threw Cailie a smile over her shoulder before taking a glance at Professor Marchbanks.
Her outfit enough was enough to make even the least fashion conscious person in the world cringe, and enough to keep the extremely fashion minded duo gaping and gawking for the remainder of the detention. She had on black leggings, which was all perfectly fine with Caitie, seeing as how that was the style in muggle America. But she also had on green and red Christmas socks that were.... well...humming Christmas Carols and a pink Japanese muumuu over a Christmas sweater, and on her feet she wore fuzzy pink slippers.
"Well, what are you staring at? Here, here are the cauldrons. Take a seat, anywhere dearies, and just start scrubbing away!" She stood up, waving her arms around stupidly and speaking as if they were all on a highly amusing trip to some kind of magical park. Cailie and Caitie tore themselves away from the pink muumuu and sat down on the cold, stone floor, grabbed the toothbrushes and began scrubbing out the cauldrons.
They had barely gotten through one cauldron each when the professor got up from her position in her desk and started wandering around the room. She cocked her head to one side and looked at the ceiling,
"Dear me, I do believe the ceiling's leaking. Someone must've flooded the bathrooms again. Hooligans." Cailie snorted, attempting to turn her laugh into a hacking cough, and Caitie had to pretend to have dropped her toothbrush onto the crusty bottom of the cauldron to duck out of sight in order to keep her composure. After this Professor Marchbanks opened her mouth and spun around, arms out on either side of her,
"I'm singiiiing in the raaaiiiin, just signing in the raaaiiin!" The pair looked up at the professor, horrified.
"Err...." Caitie bit her lip, her gut instinct told her to get Madam Promfrey and tell her the professor had gone 'round the bend. The professor gave them a glare,
"Well, get back to work, this is a detention, not a coffee clutch." Eyebrows raised and shaking their heads, they went back to work.
They were about halfway through the pile when They heard parchment flying, the professor had just taken a large pile of what looked like essays and threw them up into the air, apparently looking for something. She got up, tumbling the wooden chair over and shouted exasperatedly,
"Where could it have gone!? I swear I put it right here." She paced around the room, looking the stupidest places, muttering to herself all the while, her socks still singing,
"Joy to the world!"
"Professor, are you...uhm...talking to us?" Cailie asked, looking sincerely disturbed.
The professor looked at them as if they were the insane ones, and waved her arms around some more, as if attempting to shoo them away,
"No, no, why would I be talking to you? You wouldn't know where my lesson parchment was.... now, go back to your cauldrons, for the last time." Cailie rolled her eyes, and Caitie said in an undertone,
"If she keeps this up, she's going to flap herself into the ceiling." Cailie stifled a giggle and they continued on in this manner until the professor told them they could go,
"But be back tomorrow! Same time, and we'll have some more fun fun fun!" The duo fled the room as fast as was humanly possible and waited until they got into a normal, well-lit corridor before collapsing into a fit of giggles, crying from laughter.
*~~~*
Remus Lupin did a "James" and slicked his hair back before descending from the boys tower and down into the Common Room, where Lily was waiting impatiently, so they could begin their weekly prefect rounds. Usually, Lily and Remus traded off so Lily patrolled with the Ravenclaw fifth year boy, and Remus patrolled with Jessi, but Jessi had a Quidditch practice and switched off with some Hufflepuffs, so Remus was stuck patrolling with Lily, who, as far as he knew, hated his and all his friend's guts. 'Course, she didn't hate him with the passion she hated James and Sirius, but they weren't exactly friendly either, for Lily had stated he was immature as well, just not as impossibly arrogant as them. They started off down the hallways, Lupin jogging to keep up with Lily's brisk pace. The silence was uncomfortably awkward, and after about fifteen minutes of this, Lily couldn't stand it anymore, and in between reprimanding students and threatening to dock points, she went on a tangent about anything and everything.
"And I can't believe the O.W.L's are so close, I'm so afraid I'm not going to do well-Hey! Go back to your dorm, immediately, it's after curfew! But anyway, I'm glad the professors aren't testing us; they so pick favorites-could you please keep the PDA to a minimum? And this does not include snogging in the corridor-Potter, obviously, everyone loves him, as well as Black, and you, but at least you earned it. And everyone just loves the Girlies. Whores." She took a breath and started to continue, but Remus cut her off.
"You know, this is my friends you're talking about, here."
"Oh, right, sorry." Lily fell silent, and they continued to make there rounds until they came upon two girls in stitches with laughter.
"Uhh, Cailie? Smiley? Not to be rude or anything, but what the hell are you doing?" Caitie looked up, her face purple from laughter,
"Detention...Marchbanks...nutcase...muumuu." She gasped before falling over in hysterics again. Lily cocked her head and raised her eyebrows, just looking all the more confused, but Remus grinned goofily and chuckled a little.
"Oh, so you understand what they're finding so amusing then, are you?" Lily asked, a bitter edge to her voice. Lily didn't like the Girlies, especially not the French one, Cailie. 'She could be more egotistical and more horrible to people then James, and that's truly saying something. And anyone who chooses willingly to be friends with her needs a strong dose of reality' Lily thought, dislike spread plainly across her face.
"Well, I got the gist of it," Remus said, shrugging, pulling Lily from her thoughts.
"Oh. Well, even if you had detention that' s no reason to still be out here. I'll talk to Professor McGonogall about docking some points," She said briskly, and began to walk off, expecting Lupin to follow her. Instead, he was helping the two up, and his jaw had slackened. 'The way they're talking and laughing, it's like they don't even care. They'll just be able to get the points back anyway, probably not even doing something worthwhile of them. Oh, they're so disgusting. It's so unfair.' Lily stalked off; ready to throw a temper-tantrum, like she did when she was three. Throwing closet doors open, attempting to catch unsuspecting students, and then slamming them closed when her attempts were in vain, she felt like she was going to scream.
Remus quickly jogged up to her and said,
"You know, you're not going to accomplish anything by having a right little hissy-fit." Lily fumed at him,
"Well, why not? All you're friends do it, and it's ok for them. But I can't. 'Course not, Lily Evan's isn't pretty enough, and she actually has to work to get good grades. 'Course Lily can't throw a hissy-fit, 'cause no one can cause useless drama about there useless, pathetic lives, unless they're the infamous Girlies or the sexy Marauders, who are famous for one- night-stands, but still have girls weak in the knees if they look they're way! I hate it!"
Remus looked at her, eyes wide.
"Look, I know my friends aren't saints, neither am I, hell we can be outright jerks at times. But you don't even know half the story. From f r away they seem like they have the perfect lives. But they don't. We don't, I don't. I know it's not an excuse for any of our behavior towards everyone else, but maybe you should get to know them a little, they're really great people deep down. A great muggle once said, 'don't talk about a person until you have walked a mile in their shoes.'" Lily became thoughtful, and in her heart, she knew Remus was right. But Lily had always been what her friends had fondly called,
'A Stubborn-ass', and she was definitely not ready to admit it. So, as an excuse to not say anything, she opened one last door, and recoiled in horror. There was James, stupid grin plastered on his face, in only his boxers, with a younger Ravenclaw, Elisa, Lily thought her name was, who looked like a deer in headlights. There hair was tousled, and Elisa's make- up was smeared. It was rather obvious what had been taking place.
Lily was struck-dumb for a moment, but she recovered quickly, and shooting a glare at both Remus and James, and then in a 'huff' ran off.
Remus gave James a hit upside the head.
"Ouch, what was that about!?" Asked James, looking at Remus grumpily.
"Prongs, I almost had the girl convinced you were half-reasonable. Then we walk in on you and her shagging in the broom closet." It was James' turn to look stricken, and he to, huffed away, leaving a very distraught Elisa.