Sorry for the major wait and sorry for the shortness of this chapter. I'm also sorry for the last chapter. It seemed to me after I was reading through this all again that it was a bad attempt at a subplot. It's not though (I hope), there will be other stuff concerning Max & Takao. Anyway, I hope this chapter makes up for it. I hope I'll have the next one out soon as well. Until then, enjoy.

Chapter Seven — How Well Do You Know Yourself?

Rei laughed as Kai finished repeating some amusing anecdote from his childhood in Russia. They had been walking around Moscow for almost two hours and the sun was starting to set. Kai had just pointed out a building of interest and told Rei about how he had humiliated himself when he was younger in front of a large crowd gathered there.

Rei was sure that the story wasn't quite as amusing as it sounded, considering when it would have taken place in Kai's past, but the way Kai told it made it sound more enjoyable.

Kai smiled at the sight of his friend enjoying himself. That was the thing about Rei, whenever he was happy, everyone around him seemed to be too. Even Kai, stoic as he was, couldn't escape the influence Rei had on people.

"You should smile more often Kai." The blue haired blader looked at Rei partly in shock at the statement and amusement. He decided to settle for amusement.

"Is that a lame attempt at a come on?"

"Kai!" Rei blushed and punched his friend in the arm. Then he smirked. "Only if you want it to be."

Kai burst out laughing. The tiger's attempt at seduction wasn't in the least bit hilarious, but for Kai who had spent the better part of a year with him, the concept of Rei trying to seduce anyone was absurd.

"Fine, if you think you're too good for me." Rei turned away, pretending to be affronted.

Kai looked over at him and smiled again. "You know, this has probably got to be one of the best times I've had with anyone, Rei."

Rei snorted. "Now who's coming up with lame come on's?"

"I'm serious." Kai looked out into the deepening twilight of the sky. "Russia holds so many bad memories, it's nice to have a good one to remember it with also." Kai realised that he may have blurted out a bit more than he intended and looked away.

Rei didn't say anything, he knew that Kai was still trying to deal with the fact that he was completely free of his past and with his relations with everyone. He knew Kai still needed time.

"It's starting to get dark. We should head back."

"Right." Rei nodded at the suggestion and looked around. "Where are we?"

"In a residential neighbourhood. Don't worry, I know my way around." Kai started walking, but halted as he neared a house.

"Kai? Is something wrong?" Rei looked at his captain in concern.

Kai didn't answer, he just stared at the house with the large barren tree in front of it for a while.

"Kai!"

"I'm fine Rei." Kai shook himself out of his strange daze and smiled reassuringly at his teammate. "I'm fine."

"Sure." Rei was still watching him worriedly as they walked back to their hotel.

/I know you're hiding something Kai, I just hope that whatever it is won't hurt you if you keep it bottled up./

***

//"Hi there."

The child looked up from his misery to see a girl swinging upside-down on a branch in a tree. He glared coldly at her then continued walking down the street glumly.

"Are you lost?"

Why did she care? The child stopped in his tracks again and looked back. The girl was now sitting upright on the branch, looking at him concerned.

"I said, are you lost?"

"I heard you the first time." The cold child glared at her with crimson eyes again. "What do you want?"

"Do you want to play with me?"

"I have no time for games."

"Oh. That's too bad. Maybe if I see you again you can play with me."

"Whatever." He started walking again.

"My name's Celia." The girl jumped lightly down from the tree and ran over to stand in front of him, smiling. "What's your name?"

"Kai." Why did he even answer? It's not like he should care about such a weak and pathetic person.

"That's a nice name." The girl turned her head as she heard her name being called from inside her house. She smiled apologetically at Kai. "I've got to go. I hope I see you again Kai."

"Whatever." Kai watched her as she waved then dashed off into the warmth of her house. Then he turned back to the road and resumed walking again.//

Kai opened his eyes slowly. /What was that? A memory? But I have absolutely no recollection of such an event before tonight./ He looked over at the clock. 2 a.m. /I should get more sleep. I'll think on this in the morning./ He rolled onto his side and shut his eyes, snuggling up almost unconsciously to the warm body beside him.

//He was running through the snow-covered streets, running from everything. Running from the pain, running from the horror, running from his life.

He was leaving nothing behind.

And yet he was leaving everything.

"I'm weak," he sobbed as tears coursed down his cheeks, freezing as they encountered biting winds and falling snow. "I'm weak that's why I couldn't save him. That's why they're trying to hurt me. I'm not good enough."

He tripped on a rock embedded beneath the white-covered ground. He lay there for a while, sobbing, as snow continued to fall on him. He struggled futilely to get up, repeatedly falling face-first again each time. He was spent, a child had only so much endurance.

"They're going to catch me and they're going to hurt me," he whispered, giving up on any hope that he could possibly escape his fate.

"Kai?"

He slowly turned his head to the side, ready to be met with an image of one of the many similarly appearing drones from the abbey, ready to meet with his fate.

What he saw surprised him.

"Celia?"

"Oh my god! What happened?" She ran over to him, leaving her bewildered and obviously worried parents behind. She checked him over to see if he was hurt. "What happened to you?"

"I … they …" Kai couldn't speak, he was so tired and worried and so traumatized by everything that had happened that he passed out, the last thing he saw being Celia and her parents stare at him in actual concern.//

Kai groaned in his semi-awake state and stretched out slightly, accidentally knocking and waking Rei.

The tiger himself looked over at him, bleary-eyed. "Kai?"

"Sorry," he mumbled and got up, walking over to the bathroom to have a shower and wake himself up completely. One thought was occupying his mind.

/What the hell was all of that?!/

***

Kai stood for a few minutes in the shower, letting the pounding hot water slide over his body.

/What the hell is going on?/

He looked up at the steam-obscured ceiling.

/These dreams feel so real, what are they? Are they really memories? If so then why haven't I remembered them before?/

Kai lowered his head and let the boiling water strike down at the base of his neck. He ran his fingers through his wet hair and stopped as he felt an old scar behind his left ear.

~~

He was in the grey room again. He was sobbing and screaming and pounding against the locked door. He knew they were going to come for him again.

"No! Please! I can't! I can't do it! Not again! Please, I'm sorry I'm not good enough! Please, don't do it again! PLEASE!"

~~

Kai's eyes widened in shock and he stumbled back, hitting the faucets. The sudden pain of the metal jabbing him in the back jolted him forward again.

"What the fuck was that!"

There was knocking at the bathroom door.

"Kai?" It was Rei, he sounded worried. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine." Kai ran his fingers through his hair again, telling himself that as much as he was telling Rei. "I'm really fine."

"All right." Rei didn't sound convinced, but he let Kai get away with it.

"I'm fine," Kai repeated in a soft whisper. "Aren't I?"